Why would god hate an athiest?

[Andaluciae]

I was making a joke.

Last winter, Barnes and Noble did this whole 1 free book a week on Nook. One of those books was called Kell's Legend. Wild, insane, violence fiesta. Never claim a book is more violent than that trilogy, because, holy Fuck, non-stop axes, swords, stone lions, vampire cyborgs...it was fucking insane.

vampire... cyborgs? im now questioning how this guy got published..
but dont forget the book of joshua depicts ethnic cleansing, and gods total killcount is around 100,000 people.

Oh yeah. It was bad. I thought it was so.e attempt by a retired engineer to write fantasy. Then I discovered a sequel.

Just look at the fucking covers...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/085766 ... ull-site=1
http://www.amazon.com/Soul-Stealers-Clo ... gy_b_img_b

Twin cyborg vampire hottie assassins. Like, what the Fuck.

[Sanguinthium]

its entirely comparable. your confirmation bias combined with years of church brainwashing simply cause your brain to ignore the logic.
if god set his own rules, he can change his own rules. god set "morality"; therefore he is a "moral" agent.
yes, i would. kill one man, save a thousand. that was in a movie somewhere.

Prejudice is unbecoming.

I consider it strange, if not fully laughable that you'd accuse me of being "brainwashed", I don't have "years of church" to brainwash me, I've only had a regular church as of the last month and I was raised secular.

Assuming my views are brainwashed by my church is like me assuming that your beliefs are the work of Satan, that is to say, baseless and ignorant.

Yes, God set his own rules and He can change them, and He did, when He sent His Son to Earth to die for us. He changed the rules, He provided a way. But under God will not change that which He desires, He does not want a world of mindless automatons, He wants us to love Him because we Love him, if we had no choice in the matter it would never really be Love.

Exodus 12:29 God repeatedly tells Moses exactly what calamity he will next visit upon the Egyptians if the Pharaoh does not allow the Israelites to be set free from slavery. Then he tells Moses (also repeatedly) that he will harden Pharaoh’s heart, so that he will refuse to allow the Israelites to go, thus bringing a calamity upon his own people, as well as showing him the awesome power of the Israelites’ Lord. This occurs over and over, bringing calamity upon calamity upon the Egyptian people. What is troubling about this verse is that when god “hardens the pharaoh’s heart” he is interfering with the Pharaoh’s free will and ultimately bringing punishment on the Egyptians for something they are not responsible for. As a final punishment god decides to kill all the first born of Egypt. The lord reduced himself to murdering innocent kids when he could have simply freed the Israelites himself with his “omnipotent” power.

[Sanguinthium]

vampire... cyborgs? im now questioning how this guy got published..
but dont forget the book of joshua depicts ethnic cleansing, and gods total killcount is around 100,000 people.

Oh yeah. It was bad. I thought it was so.e attempt by a retired engineer to write fantasy. Then I discovered a sequel.

Just look at the fucking covers...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/085766 ... ull-site=1
http://www.amazon.com/Soul-Stealers-Clo ... gy_b_img_b

Twin cyborg vampire hottie assassins. Like, what the Fuck.

phase 1: twilight + robots
phase 2: ???
phase 3: profit!

[Salandriagado]

who? 0-0

I was making a joke.

Last winter, Barnes and Noble did this whole 1 free book a week on Nook. One of those books was called Kell's Legend. Wild, insane, violence fiesta. Never claim a book is more violent than that trilogy, because, holy Fuck, non-stop axes, swords, stone lions, vampire cyborgs...it was fucking insane.

I take it you've never read The Wasp Factory? Lovely little ball of mental scarring, courtesy of some Scottish lunatics.



Anyway, I'm sure there was a topic around here somewhere.

[Andaluciae]

Oh yeah. It was bad. I thought it was so.e attempt by a retired engineer to write fantasy. Then I discovered a sequel.

Just look at the fucking covers...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/085766 ... ull-site=1
http://www.amazon.com/Soul-Stealers-Clo ... gy_b_img_b

Twin cyborg vampire hottie assassins. Like, what the Fuck.

phase 1: twilight + robots
phase 2: ???
phase 3: profit!

Yeah. I didn't even read the vampire twin assassins one...I read the first one. It was all sorts of violencey. I wouldn't pay money for it...but a free book is a free book...

[Andaluciae]

I was making a joke.

Last winter, Barnes and Noble did this whole 1 free book a week on Nook. One of those books was called Kell's Legend. Wild, insane, violence fiesta. Never claim a book is more violent than that trilogy, because, holy Fuck, non-stop axes, swords, stone lions, vampire cyborgs...it was fucking insane.

I take it you've never read The Wasp Factory? Lovely little ball of mental scarring, courtesy of some Scottish lunatics.

Just Google searched it.

Wow...

[Aesthetica]

I hate to break it to you but every single religion says that same thing. That if you really and truly believe then you'll pick the Christian God/Yahweh/Any God or whatever over any other religion or deity. If every single God demands that you only choose him and that you'll burn otherwise there is no way of choosing a religion apart from what your parents tell you. If you're brought up as a devout Muslim and you "hear the word of God" you're not just going to drop everything and convert, same goes for if a Christian "hears the word of {insert any god here}". The person is most likely to keep the religion that they grew up with an believe it is the only truth while claiming the others are fallacies.
Also, if someone on the street said they were Jesus/Yahweh incarnate and that you must help them convert the world, would you believe and follow them?

Not really. The only exclusionist monotheisms I know of - in the West, anyway - are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The Abrahamic religions, that is, the ones who follow Yahweh. The priests of Zeus didn't care if you also sacrificed to Athena; Innana didn't care if you dropped off a little gift at my temple. Yahweh is the only one who demands that you worship him and him alone, and whose followers have the gall to declare that all other deities don't exist.

The Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem used to do a roaring trade in non believers paying for sacrifices to old J senior. Romans and Greeks would come to the temple enclosure, and wait by the railing in the 'court of gentiles' while a priest showed them a selection of biblically approved animals, you made your choice, paid your cash, and the priest would lead your animal to the rock for some ceremonial butchery, to petition Big J for his blessing on your venture. Romans and Greeks were like that, made sense to pay for local help with a merchant venture, instead of just relying on your own gods...

[Dyakovo]

I hate to break it to you but every single religion says that same thing. That if you really and truly believe then you'll pick the Christian God/Yahweh/Any God or whatever over any other religion or deity. If every single God demands that you only choose him and that you'll burn otherwise there is no way of choosing a religion apart from what your parents tell you. If you're brought up as a devout Muslim and you "hear the word of God" you're not just going to drop everything and convert, same goes for if a Christian "hears the word of {insert any god here}". The person is most likely to keep the religion that they grew up with an believe it is the only truth while claiming the others are fallacies.
Also, if someone on the street said they were Jesus/Yahweh incarnate and that you must help them convert the world, would you believe and follow them?

Not really. The only exclusionist monotheisms I know of - in the West, anyway - are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The Abrahamic religions, that is, the ones who follow Yahweh. The priests of Zeus didn't care if you also sacrificed to Athena; Innana didn't care if you dropped off a little gift at my temple. Yahweh is the only one who demands that you worship him and him alone, and whose followers have the gall to declare that all other deities don't exist.

Despite the fact that it is clear from their holy book that the writers accepted that there were/are other gods...

You shall have no other gods before me.

[Sanguinthium]

Not really. The only exclusionist monotheisms I know of - in the West, anyway - are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The Abrahamic religions, that is, the ones who follow Yahweh. The priests of Zeus didn't care if you also sacrificed to Athena; Innana didn't care if you dropped off a little gift at my temple. Yahweh is the only one who demands that you worship him and him alone, and whose followers have the gall to declare that all other deities don't exist.

Despite the fact that it is clear from their holy book that the writers accepted that there were/are other gods...

You shall have no other gods before me.

first two deadly sins: pride, envy (aka jealousy- a jealous god).

problem, people who say god cannot abide sin?

"Christianity was created by some decadent and degenerated Romans as a tool of oppression, in the late Roman era, and it should be treated accordingly. It is like handcuffs to the mind and spirit and is nothing but destructive to mankind. In fact I don't really see Christianity as a religion. It is more like a spiritual plague, a mass psychosis, and it should first and foremost be treated as a problem to be solved by the medical science. Christianity is a diagnosis. It's like Islam and the other Asian religions, a HIV/AIDS of the spirit and mind." -Varg Vikernes

[Tekania]

People always say that if your an athiest your going to hell.This got me thinking.Why (if he exists) would he send me to an eternity of suffering in a fighery hole of dispaire.Doing this horrifying act just because I don't think he existed.There was no evidence to support the fact he exist.I never did anything terribly wrong compared to the next guy.If god is real in this manner he is a evil villianous charector sending me and my closest friend to an eternity of suffering worse than death itself.

I'm not scared by this since he doesn't exist.

And yet you waste time discussing things you don't believe happen by beings who you do not believe exist.

[Dyakovo]

Despite the fact that it is clear from their holy book that the writers accepted that there were/are other gods...

first two deadly sins: pride, envy (aka jealousy- a jealous god).

problem, people who say god cannot abide sin?

Well, obviously Yahweh's rules don't apply to him...
*nods*

[Genivaria]

66 ways to piss off an atheist.

‎1 Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2 Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3 Ask them to pray with you.
4 Invite their children to go to church with you.
5 Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6 Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.
7 Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."
8 Make up statistics.
9 End a discussion with "Well, I know you're smarter than I am, but I know I'm right."
10 Accuse them of persecuting you.
11 Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
12 After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
13 Accuse them of willfully ignoring the "obvious truth."
14 Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
15 When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
16 Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.
17 Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true... Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true.
19 Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally -- all except that verse he just showed you.
20 Tell him that God works in mysterious ways ...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning... and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
21 Point out that the fact that he talks about God so much proves God's existence.
22 If a plane crashes killing 300 passengers and crew, but one little girl survives with only third-degree burns, tell him that this miracle proves the existence of God.
23 Tell him that we all fall short of God's grace.
24 No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.
25 ...and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
26 Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.
27 Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
28 Talk about how you used to be a miserable, sinning, drug-abusing, alcoholic, sex-addicted, spouse-beating criminal until you found God.
29 Tell him about Christ's plan for salvation for the billionth time.
30 Insist that a person who makes Christianity look bad was not a True Christian.
31 Use only circular reasoning.
32 Claim that the atheist only uses circular reasoning.
33 Claim that circular reasoning is legitimate due to circular reasoning being legitimate.
34 When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
35 End all your posts with "God Bless."
36 Claim that God chooses who is going to heaven and humans have nothing to do with his decision, but he's going to hell because he sinned.
37 Most carefully of all, explain that while all of the Bible is inerrant, Revelation does not literally mean what it says.
38 Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
39 Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
40 Say that God can't reveal himself with any real proof, because that would remove the need for faith.
41 When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
42 When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
43 Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
44 ...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven... and mentally retarded people.
45 Spell it "athiest."
46 Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
50 Tell him that he's playing right into Satan's hands, because Satan's greatest ploy is convincing people that God doesn't exist.
51 After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
52 Claim to be speaking in tongues when actually you're just babbling incoherently.
53 When he points out an apparent inconsistency of God's attributes, just say that God is infinite. The atheist, with his finite, human brain cannot begin to understand God.
54 Say that going to church is fun... and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
55 Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
56 Tell his that it's not a religion -- it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
57 Sing.
58 After losing an argument horribly, say that you will pray for his eternal soul.
59 Ask why he only focuses on the bad parts of the Bible.
60 Use transitive verbs intransitively (e.g. "Jesus raised from the dead").
61 When he finally gets tired of you and launches several "Do Not Feed The Troll" campaigns against you, change your handle.
62 When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
63 When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus
64 Refuse to give him your wallet after he quotes Matthew 5:42 to you.
65 Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
66 Insist on deathbed conversions.

[Dyakovo]

66 ways to piss off an atheist.

‎1 Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2 Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3 Ask them to pray with you.
4 Invite their children to go to church with you.
5 Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6 Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.
7 Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."
8 Make up statistics.
9 End a discussion with "Well, I know you're smarter than I am, but I know I'm right."
10 Accuse them of persecuting you.
11 Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
12 After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
13 Accuse them of willfully ignoring the "obvious truth."
14 Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
15 When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
16 Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.
17 Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true... Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true.
19 Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally -- all except that verse he just showed you.
20 Tell him that God works in mysterious ways ...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning... and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
21 Point out that the fact that he talks about God so much proves God's existence.
22 If a plane crashes killing 300 passengers and crew, but one little girl survives with only third-degree burns, tell him that this miracle proves the existence of God.
23 Tell him that we all fall short of God's grace.
24 No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.
25 ...and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
26 Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.
27 Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
28 Talk about how you used to be a miserable, sinning, drug-abusing, alcoholic, sex-addicted, spouse-beating criminal until you found God.
29 Tell him about Christ's plan for salvation for the billionth time.
30 Insist that a person who makes Christianity look bad was not a True Christian.
31 Use only circular reasoning.
32 Claim that the atheist only uses circular reasoning.
33 Claim that circular reasoning is legitimate due to circular reasoning being legitimate.
34 When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
35 End all your posts with "God Bless."
36 Claim that God chooses who is going to heaven and humans have nothing to do with his decision, but he's going to hell because he sinned.
37 Most carefully of all, explain that while all of the Bible is inerrant, Revelation does not literally mean what it says.
38 Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
39 Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
40 Say that God can't reveal himself with any real proof, because that would remove the need for faith.
41 When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
42 When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
43 Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
44 ...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven... and mentally retarded people.
45 Spell it "athiest."
46 Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
50 Tell him that he's playing right into Satan's hands, because Satan's greatest ploy is convincing people that God doesn't exist.
51 After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
52 Claim to be speaking in tongues when actually you're just babbling incoherently.
53 When he points out an apparent inconsistency of God's attributes, just say that God is infinite. The atheist, with his finite, human brain cannot begin to understand God.
54 Say that going to church is fun... and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
55 Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
56 Tell his that it's not a religion -- it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
57 Sing.
58 After losing an argument horribly, say that you will pray for his eternal soul.
59 Ask why he only focuses on the bad parts of the Bible.
60 Use transitive verbs intransitively (e.g. "Jesus raised from the dead").
61 When he finally gets tired of you and launches several "Do Not Feed The Troll" campaigns against you, change your handle.
62 When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
63 When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus
64 Refuse to give him your wallet after he quotes Matthew 5:42 to you.
65 Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
66 Insist on deathbed conversions.

None of those piss me off...

[Avenio]

Despite the fact that it is clear from their holy book that the writers accepted that there were/are other gods...

You shall have no other gods before me.

Pretty much. Judaism at that time, from what I remember, was influenced by the Sumerian belief in civic patron deities; you were allowed to believe in other gods, you just had to make sure that your city/state/nation/tribe's deity came before all the other gods, because the success of your local polity depended on it. The actual true exclusive monotheism came about during the Babylonian occupation thanks to influences from all sorts of religions in that area, like Zoroastrianism, if I'm remembering my lectures correctly. I do remember that the pharisees and the like had a terrible time of trying to eradicate lingering polytheism in lower-and-middle-class Hebrews, though.

[Aesthetica]

I take it you've never read The Wasp Factory? Lovely little ball of mental scarring, courtesy of some Scottish lunatics.



Anyway, I'm sure there was a topic around here somewhere.

Ah... Iain Banks, does good intelligent sci-fi too under the name Iain M Banks, try Excession... An alien race that asked what "affront to all civilised peoples" meant and when they heard, liked it so much they changed their name to "The Affront", sentient stars leading nirvana collective soul religious cults, AI controlled ships phillosophising on their own mortality, and the ramifications of saving backup copies of their personality states offsite before dangerous missions, and if they should make another backup with the feeling of liberation from material concerns they feel after making the first backup...

[Sanguinthium]

66 ways to piss off an atheist.

‎1 Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2 Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3 Ask them to pray with you.
4 Invite their children to go to church with you.
5 Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6 Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.
7 Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."
8 Make up statistics.
9 End a discussion with "Well, I know you're smarter than I am, but I know I'm right."
10 Accuse them of persecuting you.
11 Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
12 After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
13 Accuse them of willfully ignoring the "obvious truth."
14 Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
15 When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
16 Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.
17 Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true... Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true.
19 Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally -- all except that verse he just showed you.
20 Tell him that God works in mysterious ways ...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning... and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
21 Point out that the fact that he talks about God so much proves God's existence.
22 If a plane crashes killing 300 passengers and crew, but one little girl survives with only third-degree burns, tell him that this miracle proves the existence of God.
23 Tell him that we all fall short of God's grace.
24 No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.
25 ...and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
26 Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.
27 Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
28 Talk about how you used to be a miserable, sinning, drug-abusing, alcoholic, sex-addicted, spouse-beating criminal until you found God.
29 Tell him about Christ's plan for salvation for the billionth time.
30 Insist that a person who makes Christianity look bad was not a True Christian.
31 Use only circular reasoning.
32 Claim that the atheist only uses circular reasoning.
33 Claim that circular reasoning is legitimate due to circular reasoning being legitimate.
34 When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
35 End all your posts with "God Bless."
36 Claim that God chooses who is going to heaven and humans have nothing to do with his decision, but he's going to hell because he sinned.
37 Most carefully of all, explain that while all of the Bible is inerrant, Revelation does not literally mean what it says.
38 Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
39 Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
40 Say that God can't reveal himself with any real proof, because that would remove the need for faith.
41 When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
42 When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
43 Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
44 ...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven... and mentally retarded people.
45 Spell it "athiest."
46 Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
50 Tell him that he's playing right into Satan's hands, because Satan's greatest ploy is convincing people that God doesn't exist.
51 After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
52 Claim to be speaking in tongues when actually you're just babbling incoherently.
53 When he points out an apparent inconsistency of God's attributes, just say that God is infinite. The atheist, with his finite, human brain cannot begin to understand God.
54 Say that going to church is fun... and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
55 Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
56 Tell his that it's not a religion -- it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
57 Sing.
58 After losing an argument horribly, say that you will pray for his eternal soul.
59 Ask why he only focuses on the bad parts of the Bible.
60 Use transitive verbs intransitively (e.g. "Jesus raised from the dead").
61 When he finally gets tired of you and launches several "Do Not Feed The Troll" campaigns against you, change your handle.
62 When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
63 When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus
64 Refuse to give him your wallet after he quotes Matthew 5:42 to you.
65 Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
66 Insist on deathbed conversions.

10 signs of a fundamentalist christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

[Aesthetica]

66 ways to piss off an atheist.

‎1 Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2 Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3 Ask them to pray with you.
4 Invite their children to go to church with you.
5 Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6 Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.
7 Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."
8 Make up statistics.
9 End a discussion with "Well, I know you're smarter than I am, but I know I'm right."
10 Accuse them of persecuting you.
11 Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
12 After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
13 Accuse them of willfully ignoring the "obvious truth."
14 Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
15 When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
16 Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.
17 Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true... Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true.
19 Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally -- all except that verse he just showed you.
20 Tell him that God works in mysterious ways ...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning... and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
21 Point out that the fact that he talks about God so much proves God's existence.
22 If a plane crashes killing 300 passengers and crew, but one little girl survives with only third-degree burns, tell him that this miracle proves the existence of God.
23 Tell him that we all fall short of God's grace.
24 No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.
25 ...and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
26 Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.
27 Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
28 Talk about how you used to be a miserable, sinning, drug-abusing, alcoholic, sex-addicted, spouse-beating criminal until you found God.
29 Tell him about Christ's plan for salvation for the billionth time.
30 Insist that a person who makes Christianity look bad was not a True Christian.
31 Use only circular reasoning.
32 Claim that the atheist only uses circular reasoning.
33 Claim that circular reasoning is legitimate due to circular reasoning being legitimate.
34 When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
35 End all your posts with "God Bless."
36 Claim that God chooses who is going to heaven and humans have nothing to do with his decision, but he's going to hell because he sinned.
37 Most carefully of all, explain that while all of the Bible is inerrant, Revelation does not literally mean what it says.
38 Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
39 Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
40 Say that God can't reveal himself with any real proof, because that would remove the need for faith.
41 When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
42 When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
43 Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
44 ...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven... and mentally retarded people.
45 Spell it "athiest."
46 Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
50 Tell him that he's playing right into Satan's hands, because Satan's greatest ploy is convincing people that God doesn't exist.
51 After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
52 Claim to be speaking in tongues when actually you're just babbling incoherently.
53 When he points out an apparent inconsistency of God's attributes, just say that God is infinite. The atheist, with his finite, human brain cannot begin to understand God.
54 Say that going to church is fun... and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
55 Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
56 Tell his that it's not a religion -- it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
57 Sing.
58 After losing an argument horribly, say that you will pray for his eternal soul.
59 Ask why he only focuses on the bad parts of the Bible.
60 Use transitive verbs intransitively (e.g. "Jesus raised from the dead").
61 When he finally gets tired of you and launches several "Do Not Feed The Troll" campaigns against you, change your handle.
62 When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
63 When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus
64 Refuse to give him your wallet after he quotes Matthew 5:42 to you.
65 Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
66 Insist on deathbed conversions.

[Sanguinthium]

66 ways to piss off an atheist.

‎1 Ask them why they are bitter against God.
2 Tell them that if there's no God, they might as well go out and kill people.
3 Ask them to pray with you.
4 Invite their children to go to church with you.
5 Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.
6 Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.
7 Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."
8 Make up statistics.
9 End a discussion with "Well, I know you're smarter than I am, but I know I'm right."
10 Accuse them of persecuting you.
11 Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.
12 After losing the argument say, "I pity you."
13 Accuse them of willfully ignoring the "obvious truth."
14 Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.
15 When given a Bible verse that looks bad, tell him that's what the verse says, but that's not what it means.
16 Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.
17 Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true... Repeat something over and over, as if that made it true.
19 Insist that the Bible is meant to be taken literally -- all except that verse he just showed you.
20 Tell him that God works in mysterious ways ...and we're too small to comprehend his reasoning... and we shouldn't think of him as "how he should be."
21 Point out that the fact that he talks about God so much proves God's existence.
22 If a plane crashes killing 300 passengers and crew, but one little girl survives with only third-degree burns, tell him that this miracle proves the existence of God.
23 Tell him that we all fall short of God's grace.
24 No matter what he quotes from the Bible, say that it's out of context.
25 ...and when he points out that the quotes are in correct context, tell him you need to be a Christian to understand the true meaning of the Bible.
26 Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.
27 Sigh, shake your head, and say "I just know that someday you'll need Jesus."
28 Talk about how you used to be a miserable, sinning, drug-abusing, alcoholic, sex-addicted, spouse-beating criminal until you found God.
29 Tell him about Christ's plan for salvation for the billionth time.
30 Insist that a person who makes Christianity look bad was not a True Christian.
31 Use only circular reasoning.
32 Claim that the atheist only uses circular reasoning.
33 Claim that circular reasoning is legitimate due to circular reasoning being legitimate.
34 When asked to explain a theological concept, compare it to something simple, like "water," and then misunderstand that you have incorrectly labeled the constructs of your analogy, then dismiss the whole thing with, "You've just got to have faith."
35 End all your posts with "God Bless."
36 Claim that God chooses who is going to heaven and humans have nothing to do with his decision, but he's going to hell because he sinned.
37 Most carefully of all, explain that while all of the Bible is inerrant, Revelation does not literally mean what it says.
38 Tell him that God answers all prayers -- sometimes the answer is no.
39 Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.
40 Say that God can't reveal himself with any real proof, because that would remove the need for faith.
41 When something awful happens, tell him not to blame God -- he doesn't interfere.
42 When something wonderful happens, tell him to credit God -- he made it happen.
43 Explain that it doesn't matter whether or not he thinks he's sinned -- all humans were imbued with original sin at the moment of their birth.
44 ...then tell him that babies automatically go to heaven... and mentally retarded people.
45 Spell it "athiest."
46 Tell him that Hitler was an atheist.
50 Tell him that he's playing right into Satan's hands, because Satan's greatest ploy is convincing people that God doesn't exist.
51 After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."
52 Claim to be speaking in tongues when actually you're just babbling incoherently.
53 When he points out an apparent inconsistency of God's attributes, just say that God is infinite. The atheist, with his finite, human brain cannot begin to understand God.
54 Say that going to church is fun... and when he says it's boring, act surprised.
55 Insist that homosexuality is a choice.
56 Tell his that it's not a religion -- it's a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
57 Sing.
58 After losing an argument horribly, say that you will pray for his eternal soul.
59 Ask why he only focuses on the bad parts of the Bible.
60 Use transitive verbs intransitively (e.g. "Jesus raised from the dead").
61 When he finally gets tired of you and launches several "Do Not Feed The Troll" campaigns against you, change your handle.
62 When the subject of homosexuality comes up, say "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
63 When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus
64 Refuse to give him your wallet after he quotes Matthew 5:42 to you.
65 Take advantage of a horrible national tragedy, caused in large part by religious fanaticism, by pushing your own religious fanaticism as the only thing that will save us all.
66 Insist on deathbed conversions.

None of those piss me off...

24 25 26 28 30 and 31 and 32 piss me off beyond belief

[Salandriagado]

I take it you've never read The Wasp Factory? Lovely little ball of mental scarring, courtesy of some Scottish lunatics.



Anyway, I'm sure there was a topic around here somewhere.

Ah... Iain Banks, does good intelligent sci-fi too under the name Iain M Banks, try Excession... An alien race that asked what "affront to all civilised peoples" meant and when they heard, liked it so much they changed their name to "The Affront", sentient stars leading nirvana collective soul religious cults, AI controlled ships phillosophising on their own mortality, and the ramifications of saving backup copies of their personality states offsite before dangerous missions, and if they should make another backup with the feeling of liberation from material concerns they feel after making the first backup...

Yes, I know. I'm largely responsible for my local library having an entire shelf dedicated to his books.

[Dyakovo]

None of those piss me off...

24 25 26 28 30 and 31 and 32 piss me off beyond belief

Those, and a numnber of others annoy me, but none of them actually make me mad...

[Aesthetica]

Ah... Iain Banks, does good intelligent sci-fi too under the name Iain M Banks, try Excession... An alien race that asked what "affront to all civilised peoples" meant and when they heard, liked it so much they changed their name to "The Affront", sentient stars leading nirvana collective soul religious cults, AI controlled ships phillosophising on their own mortality, and the ramifications of saving backup copies of their personality states offsite before dangerous missions, and if they should make another backup with the feeling of liberation from material concerns they feel after making the first backup...

Yes, I know. I'm largely responsible for my local library having an entire shelf dedicated to his books.

I have to say I really like the names he gives to his sentient spaceships...

ROU (rapid offensive unit) "Killing time"
"It looks like a dildo..."
"That's appropriate, when fully armed it can fuck a star system..."

[Divine Unity]

Which is why the Catholic Church is such a powerful representative of humanity as a whole. A clearly human institution, with the standard human flaws, juxtaposed against some of the most striking positive examples of human achievement. From the Inquisition to Mother Theresa, from the persecution of Copernicus, to the work of Mendel, the Catholic Church represents humanity fairly well, and serves as a canvas upon which we can cast our own notions of our species upon.

the bible is the most violent book ever written
Seriously.
what is so peaceful about this

you cannot ignore the entire old testament

I've already covered this. It's rather pointless to keep making the same argument when I already told you what my Church teaches.

True, there are other christian churches that do things differently, but there isn't much point in continuing to say how violent it is and how I can't ignore it.

I'm not ignoring it, I'm looking at it as a parable, a story, NOT a historically accurate series of documents.

[Divine Unity]

"those of the Christ?"
Whom do you refer to?

You know, jewish bloke, lived in the middle east, nailed up by the Romans... Oh whats his name, tip of my tongue...

Cheesus? Jebus? something like that, suprised you havn't heard of him... Dead famous, oh and dead...

Bluth also said "don't confuse Jesus with the Christ", so I'm surprised you didn't read that.

[Aesthetica]

I've already covered this. It's rather pointless to keep making the same argument when I already told you what my Church teaches.

True, there are other christian churches that do things differently, but there isn't much point in continuing to say how violent it is and how I can't ignore it.

I'm not ignoring it, I'm looking at it as a parable, a story, NOT a historically accurate series of documents.

Yes, but, as you yourself pointed out, your churches NEW beliefs comprise more than 2350 clauses... Most of which will not be known instinctively by most of your followers who will stick with the stuff they were taught and can comprehend, that old book you are so dismissive of...

[Sanguinthium]

the bible is the most violent book ever written
Seriously.
what is so peaceful about this

you cannot ignore the entire old testament

I've already covered this. It's rather pointless to keep making the same argument when I already told you what my Church teaches.

True, there are other christian churches that do things differently, but there isn't much point in continuing to say how violent it is and how I can't ignore it.

I'm not ignoring it, I'm looking at it as a parable, a story, NOT a historically accurate series of documents.

if that is so, mister priest in training, why is it written as a historically accurate series of events/letters?