Your first love

[Newmoonrising]

I don't really remember if I was 14 or 15, but I'm still in love with the girl.

Unfortunately.

?

[Tiami]

I don't really remember if I was 14 or 15, but I'm still in love with the girl.

Unfortunately.

?

Kero is still in love with the same girl he was in love with when he was 14 or 15 years of age.

[Tiami]

But there's no "kill" in it.

You need the kill in it.

Or there is no religion.

[Isolated China]

But there's no "kill" in it.

You need the kill in it.

Why though? Your not killing anything in Nightkillism. Unless I misread somewhere.

Haha! I never expected so many people on Nationstates to be gullible enough to believe in love.
As you might notice, I don't believe in love, because the first person I thought I loved cheated on me, and after that I turned into something comparable to forever alone guy...

Since then, I had crushes, yes, but they got crushed by my friends who had a gotta catch them all moment as soon as I liked someone...

Please don't let my views offend you, I do not believe In many things, such as love and happiness... And if love does exist, I probably won't experience it anyway, because I am a pretty hopeless case.

Yeah. I am too. Would you like me to crown you an official Isolationist and Hermit? You get a Wice field, and your own Cave of Solitude!

[Tiami]

You need the kill in it.

Why though? Your not killing anything in Nightkillism. Unless I misread somewhere.

He kills anyone who doesn't worship Nightkillism. Now you know why there is a "kill" in Nightkillism.

Trust me, you'd rather worship Nightkillism than Tiamianism.

[Distruzio]

I was 23. Everything I "felt" when I was younger was more akin to obsession and possession rather than love. Love is something you do, not something you feel.

[Pesda]

13.

Fuck I should probably be over her by now shouldn't I.

The answer is porn. Lots and lots of porn.

[Ryadn]

Haha! I never expected so many people on Nationstates to be gullible enough to believe in love.
As you might notice, I don't believe in love, because the first person I thought I loved cheated on me

And? If the first car you ever own gets stolen, does that mean you never had a car?

[Ryadn]

I was 23. Everything I "felt" when I was younger was more akin to obsession and possession rather than love. Love is something you do, not something you feel.

I agree, but I don't think that means you can't be in love at a younger age. I've been in love with at least two, maybe three people--at 15, 19 and 20 up to the present--and I think my understanding of love and the depth of my feeling has grown as I've aged, but that doesn't mean I wasn't in love at 15. I just loved the way a 15-year-old can. Of course, I was in love with that person for four years, so maybe that makes a difference. Even though I haven't seen her in years and things ended very badly and for a long time I kinda've wanted to run her down with my car, I still love her and always will. Which sucks, but I don't think it's really love if you can just stop.

[The Merchant Republics]

13.

Fuck I should probably be over her by now shouldn't I.

The answer is porn. Lots and lots of porn.

Hasn't helped me at all, just makes me feel more alone.

[Meryuma]

No. It's a very meaningful term and has been given importance by every human culture across all chronology. It's also much more complex than your implied neurochemistry, involving a wide variety of somatic and psychological phenomena. You got the rest right, though.

Really? All human culture? I guess you didn't do so well in history class, eh? "Love" has really only existed since 18th century Europe started the Romanticism movement.

Romanticism ≠ romance.

I was 14. Words of the wise, make sure the person you love is actually attracted to your gender before you say anything.

Ha ha ha...oh man; this sort of reminds me of the first 'serious' relationship I had. After spending all of high school being the incorrigible tool who was too good to be in a relationship with anyone, despite having about six opportunities to pursue girls in my senior year that would've probably been worth it in retrospect, I finally gave in and started dating a girl three years my senior from across town about six months after graduating.

She soon confided in me that she was "pansexual and genderqueer", felt like a man trapped in a woman's body, was kind of a dominatrix, had a "special friend" of the same sex, and had recently broken up with a guy she was with for a year prior to dating me who was a complete psycho and was hell-bent on destroying me (I never figured out if he meant that in the metaphorical or literal sense) to get her back. The best part? All of that nonsense happened over a period of six weeks, as that's how long we went out. I mean, I've got no moral opposition to people feeling "genderqueer" or whatever, but...really. I'd like to be someone's boyfriend, not their full-time therapist.

Ah, young love. Perhaps I'll do better (or gain more freaky stories to rant about here, who knows) when I go to college in a few months.

You seem like you pretty obviously do morally oppose these things, or at least are emotionally troubled by them. You also seem to misunderstand what "genderqueer" means, and as well as what a girl is.

[Bureaucracia]

You seem like you pretty obviously do morally oppose these things, or at least are emotionally troubled by them. You also seem to misunderstand what "genderqueer" means, and as well as what a girl is.

Three things:

- I was working off of her definition of "genderqueer", so you may very well be right.

- If the act of being a bit perturbed by my ex-girlfriend's assigning of female gender pronouns to me and coming up with an "alternate female name" for me that she used from time to time - even when I politely told her that I didn't really feel all that comfortable with it - makes me "morally opposed" to the concept of being "genderqueer", then yeah, I suppose I am.

- I really, really, really feel like I should point out that her gender identity issues were not what led me to break off our brief relationship; it was certainly the rather severe case of battered wife syndrome she appeared to exhibit from her previous year-long relationship with an abusive man who acted more like a father neglecting his daughter than a boyfriend whilst dating her. The guy used to send threatening texts to her while we were alone together threatening to "destroy [me]", showed up at my place of employment while we were together on my break one day with the intent of assaulting me, and apparently slept with her (we weren't living together) a few nights before I ultimately called her up and said it was over. All the while, my then-girlfriend was living in some gray area between wanting to get the guy arrested and wanting to dump me to get back together with him, repeatedly informing me that she had "a special bond" with this guy who "provided for [her] health and security" (her words, not mine), and refusing to take any sort of advice from me on the matter or seek any sort of help. Am I horrible for wanting out of that?

[Distruzio]

I was 23. Everything I "felt" when I was younger was more akin to obsession and possession rather than love. Love is something you do, not something you feel.

I agree, but I don't think that means you can't be in love at a younger age. I've been in love with at least two, maybe three people--at 15, 19 and 20 up to the present--and I think my understanding of love and the depth of my feeling has grown as I've aged, but that doesn't mean I wasn't in love at 15. I just loved the way a 15-year-old can. Of course, I was in love with that person for four years, so maybe that makes a difference. Even though I haven't seen her in years and things ended very badly and for a long time I kinda've wanted to run her down with my car, I still love her and always will. Which sucks, but I don't think it's really love if you can just stop.

I can't argue with that. Age is an arbitrary number when used to define the appropriate maturity level. I suppose it is possible that a teen could understand love more than a 30 year old man - unlikely, but possible.

[Meryuma]

You seem like you pretty obviously do morally oppose these things, or at least are emotionally troubled by them. You also seem to misunderstand what "genderqueer" means, and as well as what a girl is.

Three things:

- I was working off of her definition of "genderqueer", so you may very well be right.

- If the act of being a bit perturbed by my ex-girlfriend's assigning of female gender pronouns to me and coming up with an "alternate female name" for me that she used from time to time - even when I politely told her that I didn't really feel all that comfortable with it - makes me "morally opposed" to the concept of being "genderqueer", then yeah, I suppose I am.

- I really, really, really feel like I should point out that her gender identity issues were not what led me to break off our brief relationship; it was certainly the rather severe case of battered wife syndrome she appeared to exhibit from her previous year-long relationship with an abusive man who acted more like a father neglecting his daughter than a boyfriend whilst dating her. The guy used to send threatening texts to her while we were alone together threatening to "destroy [me]", showed up at my place of employment while we were together on my break one day with the intent of assaulting me, and apparently slept with her (we weren't living together) a few nights before I ultimately called her up and said it was over. All the while, my then-girlfriend was living in some gray area between wanting to get the guy arrested and wanting to dump me to get back together with him, repeatedly informing me that she had "a special bond" with this guy who "provided for [her] health and security" (her words, not mine), and refusing to take any sort of advice from me on the matter or seek any sort of help. Am I horrible for wanting out of that?

1. She doesn't seem to understand what it means, then.
2. Trying to change your gender without your permission isn't being genderqueer, it's being douchey.
3. You implied in your post that your problem was with her unusual sexual & gender stuff, as opposed to it being something else.

[Bodegraven]

@ Isolated China:
Yes, that sound quite enjoyable.

Haha! I never expected so many people on Nationstates to be gullible enough to believe in love.
As you might notice, I don't believe in love, because the first person I thought I loved cheated on me

And? If the first car you ever own gets stolen, does that mean you never had a car?

I thought it was love, and she said she loved me, but then she started sleeping with other guys (note that I still haven't kissed anyone, 4-5 years later, and that she was 11 at the time.)
And since then, I just believe the idea of love exists of two things: the lust produced by the dopamine production in your brain and the commercial hell they put you through when you experience that.

To actually answer your question literally: Yes, you have owned that car, BUT a car isn't abstract, feelings, however, especially love, ARE abstract, so it is hard to know if you really had it.

[Marvelous Gentlemen and Ladies]

I think I was 17 or 18.

She was kind, beautiful and we spent a lot of time together.
However we had a lot of differences and my affection was unrequited.
She loved Jesus/God more than she could ever love anyone else (paraphrased, but essentially her explanation).
I did my best to accept her world views, but it got to the point where I was either trying to force her to change or myself to give up my principles. Any relationship based on that wouldn't have been right in my eyes, so we drifted apart after that.

I should be over it, and I kind of am.
Maybe not enough.

[Pesda]

The answer is porn. Lots and lots of porn.

Hasn't helped me at all, just makes me feel more alone.

Speak for yourself.

I am joking, by the way. I don't watch porn.

[Ryadn]

@ Isolated China:
Yes, that sound quite enjoyable.

And? If the first car you ever own gets stolen, does that mean you never had a car?

I thought it was love, and she said she loved me, but then she started sleeping with other guys (note that I still haven't kissed anyone, 4-5 years later, and that she was 11 at the time.)
And since then, I just believe the idea of love exists of two things: the lust produced by the dopamine production in your brain and the commercial hell they put you through when you experience that.

To actually answer your question literally: Yes, you have owned that car, BUT a car isn't abstract, feelings, however, especially love, ARE abstract, so it is hard to know if you really had it.

Well that just made the whole thing supremely creepy.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

The first time I thought I had fallen in love was when I was around 16. It was with a guy a year older then me in high school. His name was Luis Angel and he was just dreamy.

Platonic of course, since he never knew and I never told.

[Desuforeverlulz]

I was 16. We dated for three months and made love a number of times before she broke it off. Oddly enough, she wasn't my first. I don't think I'll get into that right now, haha.

[Desuforeverlulz]

Haha! I never expected so many people on Nationstates to be gullible enough to believe in love.
As you might notice, I don't believe in love, because the first person I thought I loved cheated on me

And? If the first car you ever own gets stolen, does that mean you never had a car?

Nice analogy.

[Malaysii]

13. Of course, I'm still hung up on her, and she has decided to stop talking to me cause some of my friends are.. Yeah..

[Garyana]

15 years, good sir/madam/whatever you might be.

Madam is fine.

Look at the poll, if you will. Look how many people didn't find their first loves until after 15.

You'll do fine.

Absolutely!You have your whole life ahead of you yet!I was around 15 when I first fell in love,unfortunately she didn't reciprocate the feelings.However,I recovered and moved on.You never know until it happens one day when you least expect it.

[Natty Narwhal]

A few months before my 16th birthday. She was incredible. Absolutely incredible. Our relationship lasted, roughly, 2 1/2 years. I'm still not entirely over her.

[Isolated China]

Why though? Your not killing anything in Nightkillism. Unless I misread somewhere.

He kills anyone who doesn't worship Nightkillism. Now you know why there is a "kill" in Nightkillism.

Trust me, you'd rather worship Nightkillism than Tiamianism.

Can I worship Isolationism also?

@ Isolated China:
Yes, that sound quite enjoyable.

Fine then. YOU SHALL OFFICIALLY BE KNOWN AS, ISOLATED GRAVEN! Take your new Hermit title with care. Your WICE field and Cave shall be under your ownership after you successfully go into Isolation.