Bitchkitten wrote:Reminds me of a funny story.
When my gay friend came to stay with me and my mildly homophobic boyfriend (he'd deny it) he was a bit uncomfortable. He asked me if my friend had ever been with a woman. I told him "no."
"Well how does he know he's gay?"
"Tony, have you ever been with a guy?"
A slight offended "No."
"Then how do you know you're straight?"
He got the point.
I think this is the best explanation thusfar, or close to it. It involves experience, at any rate.
I would suggest that for most homosexual men, they eventually get close enough to a woman, probably in a sexual context, and just go, "Whoa, this isn't for me." Coupled with the opposite happening when they do the same with a man, that leads to a more solid identity.
However, I don't think anyone always feels 100% solid. There's always someone to whom a straight man will think, "I'm straight, but damn if he isn't just a little attractive," and again, the same (but opposite, obviously) with homosexual men.
I personally don't think one should ever say that they have a sexual (or romantic) identity until they've actually been in such a relationship mainly for this reason.
