NASA is hiding the truth.

[Tom Bishop]

After watching the totally non-fictional film Apollo 18, I can only come to the conclusion that NASA is trying to pull the wool over our eyes for obvious reasons.

My opponents of the past were right. We did indeed make it to our moon and I shall admit that. However, there is yet something that still remains behind closed doors. As observed by the film acquired by my fellow flat earthers from the empty shell that use to be Kennedy space center in Florida, the rocks of the moon appear to be parasites that latch on to their host and turn them into almost zombie-like beings, losing all sanity and becoming increasingly paranoid. NASA has indubitably used this to their advantage and have sold these rocks to the Illuminati that guards the ice wall surrounding our Earth. The proof is on your dinner plate. No, they're not called lunar rock on Earth, they're called "Lobster". Just add a silly title and apply some red spray paint. Be cautious sheep, for you will soon become the meal.

This has been one of my most recent find as of date, and I hope to see your critique or input to add on to my amalgamating theory.

Go to this site and watch revealing footage: http://lunartruth.org/

[Kalysk]

Oh fuck, this again?

[Tom Bishop]

Oh fuck, this again?

Will you have a more intelligent parle with me or will you troll as always?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I missed this guy.

[Kalysk]

Oh fuck, this again?

Will you have a more intelligent parle with me or will you troll as always?

I've never even posted in one of your threads before, I think.

I still read them though. I am shocked that you're still around..

[Gauthier]

NASA just don't want anyone to wake up the Decepticons.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

[Nationstatelandsville]

Sir, you have clearly gotten lost. The forum for people who belief insane things is just...

...I just described NSG by accident. Oops.

Anyhow, you're totally right. Let's nuke the moon. And Japan, because fuck you Godzilla.

[Flesich]

apollo 18 sucks ass

[Tom Bishop]

NASA just don't want anyone to wake up the Decepticons.

My poor child, Michael Bay has you confused.

[Mosasauria]

I like your threads. I find them fun and a refreshing change from the rest of NSG.

[Hegstoria]

I agree wholeheartedly. The only course of action is to build a bunker and wait out the coming Illuminati led apocalypse and try to rebuild after it's all over.

[Tom Bishop]

apollo 18 sucks ass

It's a shame you see it that way. It was an extremely factual film in my eyes.

[Olthar]

Damn. It's a good thing I don't like seafood, otherwise I'd be screwed. This is just one more reason why the Outback Steakhouse is better than Red Lobster.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Damn. It's a good thing I don't like seafood, otherwise I'd be screwed. This is just one more reason why the Outback Steakhouse is better than Red Lobster.

Outback Steakhouse is run by commie aliens, doncha know.

[Tom Bishop]

I agree wholeheartedly. The only course of action is to build a bunker and wait out the coming Illuminati led apocalypse and try to rebuild after it's all over.

You filly fool, who said the Illuminati would ever do that? They already have all the sheep in line. Completely induced into thinking our world is round.

They feed you lobster!

[Vanloan]

One can only assume then the raliens are in on this conspiracy as well. Possibly the entire united states government set up the fake mission to the moon to cover up this failed attempt.

[Olthar]

Damn. It's a good thing I don't like seafood, otherwise I'd be screwed. This is just one more reason why the Outback Steakhouse is better than Red Lobster.

Outback Steakhouse is run by commie aliens, doncha know.

Ah. Well, I guess I'll just stick to Olive Garden, then. I prefer Italian food, anyways.

[Enternapax]

So, let me get this straight....

NASA sells... rock lobsters to the Illuminati. Illuminati sell the (and let me just add some more emphasis here) rock lobsters to us in order to feed off our hard earned money, the conclusion being that the Illuminati are in total control... of the shellfish market.

Well, I really can't see why I should ca- Wait.


Holy SHIT! The B-52s are the Illuminati!

[New Embossia]

[Tom Bishop]

So, let me get this straight....

NASA sells... rock lobsters to the Illuminati. Illuminati sell the (and let me just add some more emphasis here) rock lobsters to us in order to feed off our hard earned money, the conclusion being that the Illuminati are in total control... of the shellfish market.

Well, I really can't see why I should ca- Wait.


Holy SHIT! The B-52s are the Illuminati!

Possibly, but I can't say.

[Slaytesics]

(Image)

I wonder if I can sig this?

[New Hayesalia]

Who's supplying the tinfoil hats?

Link

We've arrived at basically the master conspiracy theory that overrides them all. The Illuminati is an ill-defined group of, well, every single prominent person in the world, from Barack Obama to Tony Hawk.

What does this have to do with Freemasons? After all, isn't that just like a Rotary Club made up of old people who do charity stuff? Well, yes, but lots and lots of prominent people have been members, including most of the Founding Fathers. And, again, they meet in secret. So who knows what depravity goes on in their dark chambers?

These days the mythology behind both groups overlaps to the point that they are often referred to as being one and the same. That's why when conspiracy types talk about that one-eyed pyramid on the dollar bill, some will refer to it as a secret Freemason symbol and others as a secret Illuminati symbol, depending on which they think sounds more ominous.This is kind of the umbrella that all the above theories fell under. The CFR, Bildebergers, all are ultimately just tools of the Illuminati. Go to any sites spouting theories about the above and search for the word "Illuminati." You'll usually find it in there somewhere.The historical Illuminati (yes, there was an actual organization called that) was an 18th Century group of Bavarian humanists and free thinkers, basically the 18th Century's version of pothead college professors. In 1777, they were banned for totally being too real, man, after which nobody really knows what happened.

The modern-day fascination with the Illuminati is mainly due to a trilogy of books by pair of Playboy Editors called Illuminatus and then Mr. Dan "Da Vinci Code" Brown started casting them as the villains in his novels.

As for the Freemasons, well, 14 American presidents were said to have been Freemasons, and there are claims that signs of the Freemasons were "left" across Washington D.C.

Why It's Retarded:

First, all of those books we mentioned above, including Illuminatus, are fiction.

But more importantly, this seems to be the ultimate product of the paranoid mind, in that depending on who you talk to, the Illuminati includes everyone. Not just governments and corporations, but also Hollywood.

So every single ideological difference you think there is between political parties, competing companies and even the makers of your favorite TV shows, is fake. In reality, they all meet behind the scenes, with perfect secrecy, with perfect cooperation, to control everything. They're having round-table meetings in the penthouses of five-star hotels where they decide that America needs a terrorist attack this year while using their sinister connections to implant secret messages into Hannah Montana songs.
The interesting thing here is that cumulatively, they're talking about groups--politicians, bankers, big media--that do control the world. But they control it in the sense that a group of squirrels can "control" how that meatloaf they found the trash gets eaten. It'll get eaten, all right, but the organization is what's lacking.

[The Rich Port]

Hey, it makes about as much sense as the other conspiracy theories.

I still don't understand why NASA blew away millions of dollars on a fake rocket just to fake the moon landing.

[Vanloan]

Obviously the highly successful storefront red lobster and countries like newfoundland are in on this conspiracy as well as the shellfish markets and shameless peddling of these creatures is common in these places.