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Begun the Throne Wars have.

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Lunatic Goofballs
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Begun the Throne Wars have.

Postby Lunatic Goofballs » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:46 am

http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/innovation ... hpt=hp_bn7

The Gates Foundation is giving away grants to help redesign the toilet. So, do you have any crappy ideas for the crapper that might get us a grant?

Relieve yourself of your ideas. Let's dump em all out, throw em at the wall and see what sticks. :)
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Alyakia
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Postby Alyakia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:47 am

http://www.asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm
http://www.icbe.org/pics/german_shelf_toilet.jpg

Ladies and gentlmen, I present to you, the shitshelf.
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Tagmatium
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Postby Tagmatium » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:47 am

Some sort of monstrous toilet/vacuum cleaner hybrid.

Probably only use it the once...
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Katganistan
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Postby Katganistan » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:55 am

Eh, I don't have time for this shit.
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Arkinesia
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Postby Arkinesia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:58 am

An adjustable seat that allows for proper ergonomics as per what humans had evolved to do in order to complete bowel movements with minimal pain/stress would be a good move.

Otherwise there's not much to be done, you'd be amazed at how similar squatting toilets in Asia are to seated models once you get past the posture difference. Thing is the squatters are what the human body is supposed to do for bowel movements. But not for urination.

Basically mating the two designs is what we need, except of course the squatter's inability to accurately compel humans to the proper pissing position.
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Tagmatium
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Postby Tagmatium » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:01 am

Alyakia wrote:http://www.asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm
http://www.icbe.org/pics/german_shelf_toilet.jpg

Ladies and gentlmen, I present to you, the shitshelf.

Article wrote:The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf.

Well, it is the closest thing a man can do to giving birth...
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Greed and Death
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Postby Greed and Death » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:05 am

Tagmatium wrote:Some sort of monstrous toilet/vacuum cleaner hybrid.

Probably only use it the once...

I invented a toilet that turns my waste into gas, sadly the cost of the amount of Tacos I must eat exceeds the cost of gasoline.
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I V Stalin
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Postby I V Stalin » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:24 am

Alyakia wrote:http://www.asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm
http://www.icbe.org/pics/german_shelf_toilet.jpg

Ladies and gentlmen, I present to you, the shitshelf.

Eh, they use them all across Eastern Europe (those that don't use Turkish toilets, anyway). It was a wonderful experience, travelling there.

As for new designs, I propose installing some sort of revolving blades above a pit instead of the traditional flush toilet design. At the very least, I hope it will lead to a new euphemism for taking a crap - "just going to hit the fan".
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Maryginia
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Postby Maryginia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:27 am

a toilet with a butt masseuse.
Last edited by Maryginia on Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Episarta
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Postby Episarta » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:34 am

Tagmatium wrote:
Alyakia wrote:http://www.asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm
http://www.icbe.org/pics/german_shelf_toilet.jpg

Ladies and gentlmen, I present to you, the shitshelf.

Article wrote:The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf.

Well, it is the closest thing a man can do to giving birth...


:rofl:
Don't know why, but I found that to be hilarious.
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Rambhutan
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Postby Rambhutan » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:35 am

A Facebook enabled toilet with a webcam so you can automatically update your profile every time you take a dump.
Are we there yet?

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NERVUN
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Postby NERVUN » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:40 am

Ah America... you know not what you are missing.

In Japan, our toilets come equipped with a Ken-wood sound system.
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Maryginia
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Postby Maryginia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:41 am

no one wants to imagine a butt masseuse?
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Lunatic Goofballs
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Postby Lunatic Goofballs » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:50 am

Katganistan wrote:Eh, I don't have time for this shit.


Don't be such a party pooper. :p
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Lunatic Goofballs
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Postby Lunatic Goofballs » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:51 am

NERVUN wrote:Ah America... you know not what you are missing.

In Japan, our toilets come equipped with a Ken-wood sound system.


:blink:

I suppose I should be grateful it doesn't walk around on it's own. :p
Life's Short. Munch Tacos.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
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Tagmatium
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Postby Tagmatium » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:51 am

NERVUN wrote:Ah America... you know not what you are missing.

In Japan, our toilets come equipped with a Ken-wood sound system.

For amplification reasons?

Just so the mega-dump wasn't load enough, now you can turn up the bass!

Make your stool impacts SHAKE THE HOUSE.
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AiliailiA
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Postby AiliailiA » Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:59 am

Good for the Gates Foundation. A lack of safe toilets kills millions of people every year.
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AiliailiA
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Postby AiliailiA » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:01 am

Lunatic Goofballs wrote:
NERVUN wrote:Ah America... you know not what you are missing.

In Japan, our toilets come equipped with a Ken-wood sound system.


:blink:

I suppose I should be grateful it doesn't walk around on it's own. :p


You don't want a friendly robot following you around and trying to help with your excretory functions?
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Cannot think of a name wrote:"Where's my immortality?" will be the new "Where's my jetpack?"
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Jagalonia
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Postby Jagalonia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:03 am

Katganistan wrote:Eh, I don't have time for this shit.

Kat, This isn't the time for your crappy puns. :P
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Lunatic Goofballs
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Postby Lunatic Goofballs » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:04 am

Ailiailia wrote:
Lunatic Goofballs wrote:
:blink:

I suppose I should be grateful it doesn't walk around on it's own. :p


You don't want a friendly robot following you around and trying to help with your excretory functions?


Now that you mention it, as a father of 3, the role reversal might be nice. :)
Last edited by Lunatic Goofballs on Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Life's Short. Munch Tacos.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
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Risottia
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Postby Risottia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:06 am

Let's go back to pristine simplicity.
Image
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Lunatic Goofballs
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Postby Lunatic Goofballs » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:10 am

Risottia wrote:Let's go back to pristine simplicity.
(Image)


Seems like a great way to get to know people better.
Life's Short. Munch Tacos.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
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Maryginia
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Postby Maryginia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:11 am

Lunatic Goofballs wrote:
Risottia wrote:Let's go back to pristine simplicity.
(Image)


Seems like a great way to get to know people better.

A butt masseuse would be a great way to get to know someone better also or your machine if it's mechanical. imagine a mechanical butt masseuse with cold robot hands oops it missed it's target guess where it went.
Last edited by Maryginia on Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Arkinesia
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Postby Arkinesia » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:14 am

NERVUN wrote:Ah America... you know not what you are missing.

In Japan, our toilets come equipped with a Ken-wood sound system.

I would have expected sudden schoolgirl pantyshot holograms.
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AiliailiA
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Postby AiliailiA » Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:22 am

Lunatic Goofballs wrote:
Ailiailia wrote:
You don't want a friendly robot following you around and trying to help with your excretory functions?


Now that you mention it, as a father of 3, the role reversal might be nice. :)


You just wait. You'll be 90 someday, and I doubt there will be any Social Security for you.
My name is voiced AIL-EE-AIL-EE-AH. My time zone: UTC.
Cannot think of a name wrote:"Where's my immortality?" will be the new "Where's my jetpack?"
Maineiacs wrote:"We're going to build a canal, and we're going to make Columbia pay for it!" -- Teddy Roosevelt
Ifreann wrote:That's not a Freudian slip. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
Ethel mermania wrote:
Ifreann wrote:
DnalweN acilbupeR wrote:
: eugenics :
What are the colons meant to convey here?
In my experience Colons usually convey shit
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