Well. There be a lot of threads that usually end up being about Nazi generals.
Unfortunately, they usually concern themselves with 'Alternate History', their martial prowess, their successes and failures, and occasionally their honour. It leaves out the most important point of all:
Who was the sexiest? And which one would look best if he was turned into a girl?
This thread aims to answer the above two questions. The list is, admittedly, not exhaustive, but I'm happy to let people make their case for generals not listed in this op. Enjoy!
THE CANDIDATES
Wilhelm Keitel Nicknamed Lakeitel (From Lakai, Lackey) for his habit of sucking Hitler's dick under the desk, for which he was considerably more reknown than for his barely extant competence.
Alfred Jodl More competent and IMHO a great deal more attractive than Keitel, if lacking the feminine streak we're looking for.
Walther von Brauchitsch has a headmaster-esque look to him. He would make a decent strict school marm if feminised.
Fedor von Bock Inverted pyramid head... Eh. Died in the last days of the war, together with the rest of his family, courtesy of aerial attack.
Franz Halder and >Dat Glasses. Would make a cute schoolgirl with those glasses, me thinks.
Karl Rudolf Gerd von Rundestedt Nothing much to say about him, tbh.
Johannes Erwin Eugen Rommel Arguably the most famous of Nazi generals, and with a cute boyish look about him, I'd rank him about equal with Jodl for sexyness - Rommel would make a better girl, though.
Erich von Manstein would probably make for a nice, well-rounded, motherly figure if feminised. His soft looks are cute :)
Heinz Wilhelm Guderian is... Another strict schoolmarm. Not a man I'd want to kiss, either.
Karl Dönitz would look great in a school uniform, wouldn't he? Well, she... You know what I mean.
Günther von Kluge continues our list of soft-faced Nazi generals. While not particularly remarkable - and certainly far less attractive as a man than Jodl or Rommel -, he'd make for a decent schoolgirl, I reckon.
Erich Raeder looks far scarier without a hat on. Don't let him deceive you!
Albert Kesselring looks more like a bad actor in a 1950s film... Unremarkable, IMHO.
Hugo Sperrle looks fucking terrifying. If feminised... No. No, I can't and don't want to imagine it :(
Walter von Reichenau died early - in 1942 -, but... >dat monocle. Still not a particularly attractive man, though.
Walter Model >Moar monocles And that look... If he was a girl, I'd totally see a pretty chick taking charge of the ride.
Erich Marcks is pretty unknown, but I'm adding him due to Raymond Cartier's rather high opinion of him. Needless to say... The nerdface of generals. And he'd make an incredibly cute chick, too!
So. Now for my own opinion.
As far as sexiest general goes... A toss-up between Jodl, Rommel and Marcks - the former two are pretty conventional 'Sexy Men', while the last one is pretty much the definition of 'Tall, thin nerd with glasses', which is attractive all on its own.
As for who would be my favourite if they were all turned into girls... Once again, a toss-up between Halder and Marcks, with Model right behind. Those glasses... *swoons*
Overall winner is Erich Marcks, for scoring highly in both categories!
Well, for me, anyway. So. Your favourites?
