Hypocrisy in the Dating World.

[Big Jim P]

If you think it's bad in the dating world, just get married. You will change your opinion in a hurry.

[Dakini]

Oh, I got shit for that. I also got shit for having male classmates (I was doing a physics degree, of course I had male classmates). I didn't get called an educated bitch though, it was something unrelated to my education (or anything I'd actually done) and somewhat more vulgar.

Isn't that just marvelous?

Yeah. I'm glad I don't have to put up with anything like that shit any more (or ever again).

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Isn't that just marvelous?

Yeah. I'm glad I don't have to put up with anything like that shit any more (or ever again).

I agree with the sentiment, completely.

[Intangelon]

Dating and courtship are the very epitome of hypocrisy. How can anyone be surprised by that fact?

[Siul Vojana]

I once dated a woman who told me, "I don't want to be liberated". So I dumped her.

I have no need for servants- only friends and lovers.

[Aeronos]

Isn't that just marvelous?

Yeah. I'm glad I don't have to put up with anything like that shit any more (or ever again).

Meanwhile I just finished my A-Levels, wherein I was the only girl in my Computing class, yet was good enough at it to teach everyone else, and am (hopefully) going to uni in September for Computer Science. Joy. Luckily for me I never got insulted. They would occasionally make light misogynistic jokes, but nothing beyond the light and casual. Being intelligent and redheaded probably struck fear into their hearts <.<

But yes, I can only take educated males too. And females too, I might add (I'm bisexual). Idiocy is just a massive turnoff for me. Fortunately my boyfriend is roughly the same as me but at artsy subjects instead of sciency/mathematic subjects

[The Parkus Empire]

I, as well as many of my female friends, am a supporter of equal rights amongst gender and against gender roles. Most women I know are supporters of this. We live an age where women are becoming more and more encouraged to break the shackles of gender roles.

But yet I still know women, who, though they have told me they are feminist, equal to a man, against gender roles, whatever, still do this.

They expect the dates to be paid for by the man. The rings to be bought by the man. Presents for Valentine's Day; again from the man.

Now, I have nothing against this in and of itself, but I'm abit sick of certain women discussing at length the end to gender roles and sexism, but at the end of the day, it's the same story with dating?

They're phonies.[/Holden Caulfield]

Why can't I (a male) hypothetically go out with a girl and be treated for the first date? What is so wrong with that?

You can, but going dutch is obviously the equality-friendly solution.

[Novikov]

Why is a man still expected to pay for dates, even though the feminist/equal rights movement has gained considerable ground in other areas? I've wondered this too. While I do see it as being fundamentally hypocritical, here's my justification for the practice:

Basiclly, it comes down to a simple fact of nature. Dating is courtship. Primates engage in periods of courtship when trying to find mates. Because the female partner is the one to bear young after mating, she intrinsically carries a greater level of risk and responsability than does the male partner. Because of this, females look for males which can be providers, both for them and their offspring, as a pre-requisite to mating. In the dating realm, this means you have to bring a woman things, get her stuff, buy her dinner. If you can provide for her there, it is a good indicator that you will be a suitable mate for her and father to her children. Now the woman you're dating might not even want children. Tough luck, then. This behavior has been bred into us and our ancestors for thousands, if not millions, of years. Just accept it and pick up the check the next time you take her out.

[The Parkus Empire]

Just accept it and pick up the check the next time you take her out.

Nah. That's as bad as any other form of sexism, and even has the same justification. I'll pay to celebrate or if we go to a classy place (which I and whatever date almost always do), but not just because "she's a woman".

[Galloism]

Depends on where you're at.

When I lived in Orlando, women used to buy me drinks at bars all the time.

Til one slipped me something and stole my $10 fake rolex. My friend had to go all the way to Korea to get that.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

There's nothing wrong with that. However, we live in a society that expects men to be the ones 'treating' their dates to a meal. It's expected because our society is big on 'gender roles'. There's, to me, no rhyme or reason. but that's the way it is.

Should it change? Definitely.

This.

[Rhodmhire]

Tradition's a bitch, I guess.

[Saint Clair Island]

Generally speaking, the male is attempting to win the attention of the female, and the female has her pick of a crop of males. So you need to spoil them to stand out.

Wow! I wasn't aware that the gender ratio was so skewed where you live!

Unfortunately, while we can imagine a hypothetical world in which women make up half the population, we have to face facts: only about ten percent of the world's population is female, and all of them are extremely attractive and young, while most men are nothing special to look at and therefore instead have to impress their chosen females through being rich or funny or having their name on the front cover of the DVD case. Television doesn't lie.

There are a lot of weird social customs in general. Where I come from, for instance, if you take someone out to dinner you pay for it, but they must insist on paying and be denied before you can do it. As far as dating goes I was taught to follow the rule that whoever asks pays, but as often as not we'll split it.

[Greed and Death]

Yeah. I'm glad I don't have to put up with anything like that shit any more (or ever again).

I agree with the sentiment, completely.

To my knowledge both of you are with great guys now.

[New Manvir]

I say we declare a Gender War, war solves everything.

[Greed and Death]

I say we declare a Gender War, war solves everything.

Can I fight to go back to cave man days where men kept harems of women by brute force alone ?

[Sibirsky]

I am not like that. If anything I will pay on a first date to make sure I don't owe the person another visit. I abhor owing anyone anything.

Psst I will buy meiko the ring.

Will you get down on one knee and propose too? That is so cute.

[Sibirsky]

Generally speaking, the male is attempting to win the attention of the female, and the female has her pick of a crop of males. So you need to spoil them to stand out.

This is obviously less true for humans than it is for other species though.

I've never actually had to pay fully for a date myself (though I do it anyway because shit, it's not that much, honestly).

Every single dude thinks spoiling them makes them stand out. Which makes them blend in. It's fine to pay, but expecting something in return isn't.

[SteevyT]

I didn't pay for my first date with my girlfriend. Neither did she, my parents did. Of course, we were 15 at the time. Now we pay about equal shares for our dates.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I agree with the sentiment, completely.

To my knowledge both of you are with great guys now.

Exactly why I agree with Dakini. I am with a great guy, and I think she is too. Therefore, we do not have to put up with men like the ones we mentioned anymore.

[Sibirsky]

I do agree with that statement. I like to be physically stimulated, but my mind needs stimulation too and a man with an education can, if he's not a jerk, do that quite well.

For some reason women are less likely to date men with less education, where as men have little problem with it.

Gender roles? Men are expected to be the breadwinner and more education leads to higher earnings.

[Samuraikoku]

I, as well as many of my female friends, am a supporter of equal rights amongst gender and against gender roles. Most women I know are supporters of this. We live an age where women are becoming more and more encouraged to break the shackles of gender roles.

But yet I still know women, who, though they have told me they are feminist, equal to a man, against gender roles, whatever, still do this.

They expect the dates to be paid for by the man. The rings to be bought by the man. Presents for Valentine's Day; again from the man.

Now, I have nothing against this in and of itself, but I'm abit sick of certain women discussing at length the end to gender roles and sexism, but at the end of the day, it's the same story with dating?

Why can't I (a male) hypothetically go out with a girl and be treated for the first date? What is so wrong with that?

Chivalry, son. You know, it doesn't hurt that people can go 50-50 when dating, but there are ladies out there who seek gentlemen, and sometimes you have to know basic rules (opening the doors for them, accomodating the chair, of course pay for her meal). They are nice details that show you know how to treat a lady properly, and I personally don't see it as hypocrisy. (I'm a male talking).

[Sibirsky]

I dated such a man for 2 years. It seldom works.

I will never forget the day he shouted at me that he envied my life and hated me because I was an 'educated bitch'. Such a warm and fuzzy feeling. -_-

Oh, I got shit for that. I also got shit for having male classmates (I was doing a physics degree, of course I had male classmates). I didn't get called an educated bitch though, it was something unrelated to my education (or anything I'd actually done) and somewhat more vulgar.

What the hell? How do you not have male classmates (assuming it's not an all girls facility)?

[Beldonia]

A little hypocrisy is always okay in my opinion. Women want to be treated like equals most of the time, but don't mind being less than equal if it gets them out of paying for a meal. Sounds reasonable to me. With hypocrisy, there is such a thing as a free lunch.

[Sibirsky]

Depends on where you're at.

When I lived in Orlando, women used to buy me drinks at bars all the time.

*Adds Orlando to the list of possible places to move*

Til one slipped me something and stole my $10 fake rolex. My friend had to go all the way to Korea to get that.

We have them all over the place in DC. At least we used to. I don't go down into those parts anymore.