10 Worst Evolutionary Designs

[Hairless Kitten II]

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom's torso and into her pouch for a nipple.

4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.

5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can't!

6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm ... siblings.

7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.

8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell?

9 Quadrupeds. Let's say you're a four-footed animal. Now let's say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can't do much about it. Hope there's a low branch around.

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

Source:
http://www.wired.com/science/discoverie ... 08/st_best

We can add a few more? What about Republicans? (see some running to the Mod section now )

[GetBert]

Clear evidence of an unintelligent designer

[Maurepas]

Human baby: takes TWENTY YEARS to grow to adulthood, need to defend yourself between now and then, too bad, hope there's an adult around, helpless one...

[Barringtonia]

Aww, I bought this issue of Wired a month ago or so, and I couldn't be bothered to type it out,

Yes, evolution runs up some strange alleys, still it's all part of 'moving in mysterious ways', so creationism still works

[47-9 126-43]

Aww, I bought this issue of Wired a month ago or so, and I couldn't be bothered to type it out,

Yes, evolution runs up some strange alleys, still it's all part of 'moving in mysterious ways', so creationism still works

Like bot flies!

[The_pantless_hero]

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.
2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.
3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom's torso and into her pouch for a nipple.
4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.
5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can't!
6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm ... siblings.
7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.
8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell?
9 Quadrupeds. Let's say you're a four-footed animal. Now let's say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can't do much about it. Hope there's a low branch around.
10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

http://www.wired.com/science/discoverie ... 08/st_best

We can add a few more? What about Republicans? (see some running to the Mod section now )

Wow, Wired only had to bullshit 2 items to come up with a list of 10.

[Discount Liquor World]

Apparently there is a type of boar whose tusks grow up and back down into the animal's skull as it matures eventiually killing it.

Since I can't find any proof of it now that I thought about it, I'm guessing its bull.

[The_pantless_hero]

Apparently there is a type of boar whose tusks grow up and back down into the animal's skull as it matures eventiually killing it.

Since I can't find any proof of it now that I thought about it, I'm guessing its bull.

This occurs with a number of domestic bulls, that's one reason their horns have to be removed.

[JuNii]

hmm... are they bad designs?

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.

by giving them gills, wouldn't they stop being mammals?

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

it can... question is, how often does it?

3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom's torso and into her pouch for a nipple.

and how many make this journey? and once there, they are secure and safe for a looong time.

4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.

and how many baby Giraffe's are killed in this fashion?

5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can't!

Bullshit.

The female deposits about 50 eggs in a silken egg sack about 1 inch (3 cm) in diameter, and stores it in her burrow. She guards it for 6 to 7 weeks, even taking the sack with her when she leaves the burrow. After the young spiders hatch they stay in the nest until their first molt, and then go out on their own.

Burrows for spiders are USUALLY lined with silk.

The size and power of the Goliath bird-eater makes it possible for them to eat larger prey. They rarely eat birds, although they may eat hatchlings. Its usual diet consists of frogs, small snakes, beetles, insects, lizards and even bats and pinky rats. They don't have any special hunting technique, like building webs or leaping on their prey. They will sneak up on their prey and pounce on their victim, injecting them with venom which paralyzes them. They will often carry their prey back to their burrow or a safe location to eat it at leisure. They don't have teeth to tear or chew their food, but regurgitate digestive juices onto their victim. The juices break down the soft tissue making it possible for the spider to suck up the liquid and eat its meal.

6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm ... siblings.

the mocking bird lays it's eggs in another birds nest and their offspring kills it's 'siblings'

7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.

alot of animals can't digetst plant matter... ever examined the scat of herbivores? alot of undigested plant matter in there...

8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell?

they're Hermaphroditic... so, they can get jiggy with themselves. that makes the minimal number needed to repopulate the species to be what... 1? and that is considered a bad design?
btw... how does a slug chew off it's member and does it grow back?

9 Quadrupeds. Let's say you're a four-footed animal. Now let's say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can't do much about it. Hope there's a low branch around.

yeah. agreed. too bad the Bipedials can't run as fast tho.

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

how is that a bad design? considering what they use that 'tooth' for...

[Dakini]

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

it can... question is, how often does it?

I don't know how often it crushes hyena babies, but I read that half of all first time hyena mothers die giving birth and that often the pseudopenis gets ripped up considerably during the process.

[Risottia]

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around.

Wait till it developes into a 100-m-long snorkel. U-boot whale!

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

Actually something that prevents hyenas from reproducing too much is a good idea!

4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack.

A jumping start instead of a running start.

[JuNii]

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.

it can... question is, how often does it?

I don't know how often it crushes hyena babies, but I read that half of all first time hyena mothers die giving birth and that often the pseudopenis gets ripped up considerably during the process.

can't find anything about the Clitoris hardening. they discribe it as Penis like in shape, not characteristic. so it may not even get that hard.

I really doubt 'Wired' is the best source for information of the Natural world.

[New Mitanni]

We can add a few more? What about Republicans? (see some running to the Mod section now )

You're obviously thinking of Donkocrats. Republicans represent the next advance in human evolution. Homo sapiens superior rei publicae

[Phenia]

We can add a few more? What about Republicans? (see some running to the Mod section now )

You're obviously thinking of Donkocrats. Republicans represent the next advance in human evolution. Homo sapiens superior rei publicae

Ha ha. Your political opponents are subhuman. How funny. Ha ha ha.

[Univision (Ancient)]

Aww, I bought this issue of Wired a month ago or so, and I couldn't be bothered to type it out,

Yes, evolution runs up some strange alleys, still it's all part of 'moving in mysterious ways', so creationism still works

Do you believe in that?!

[The Imperial Navy]

[Post-Unity Terra]

We can add a few more? What about Republicans? (see some running to the Mod section now )

You're obviously thinking of Donkocrats. Republicans represent the next advance in human evolution. Homo sapiens superior rei publicae

God, how charming. That bile must be a real hit with the ladies.

[North Occidentia]

What about the Babyrousa? It's canine teeth grow through the roof of the mouth and eventually back through the skull into the brain. Good work, evolution! Finally, tasty pigs that slaughter themselves naturally!

[South East Europe]

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

You, my friend, didn't think this over too well, did you? The Narwhal tusk is a tooth indeed, but do you know it's use? No? Well, the use of the Narwhal "tusk" is to detect changes in oceanic pressure and currents so that the Narwhal does not get enclosed in ice or crushed by ice and die. The narwhal is a very northern type creature. It does have a use and is in fact a very good evolutionary design.

[47-9 126-43]

They're also used for sword fights with Fry.

[JuNii]

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed."

You, my friend, didn't think this over too well, did you? The Narwhal tusk is a tooth indeed, but do you know it's use? No? Well, the use of the Narwhal "tusk" is to detect changes in oceanic pressure and currents so that the Narwhal does not get enclosed in ice or crushed by ice and die. The narwhal is a very northern type creature. It does have a use and is in fact a very good evolutionary design.

HE? didn't think this over? he got it from a 'Wired' magazine article. so it's not really his fault. those 'facts' do 'sound' neat tho.

[Andorias]

7 Human stomach[/b]. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.

WAIT A MINUTE ... If humans would digest cellulose, it would be easier for them to gather food, and there would be much less evolutionary need to develop intelligence and massive brains...

[Farnhamia]

7 Human stomach[/b]. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites.

WAIT A MINUTE ... If humans would digest cellulose, it would be easier for them to gather food, and there would be much less evolutionary need to develop intelligence and massive brains...

There are moments when one wonders whether intelligence and large brains have worked out all that well for us as a species.

[Sarkhaan]

the valgus knee and lumbar lordosis in humans. Two of the adaptations (note: not designs, but adaptations) that allow humans to walk upright, but are also primary contributors to back and knee problems in the species.

[Dolbri]

The human retina is inverted. The light sensing cells are in the back of the retina, the neurons that collect the signals are between the incoming light and the cells that detect the light.

If that is God's work, I really want to see him explaining that.