NATION

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Man sat in chair for 2 years

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Dumb Ideologies
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Mother Knows Best State

Postby Dumb Ideologies » Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:10 pm

Dakini wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:I'll bet it smells liek a mixture of necrosis and old cheese.

....thanks for that. I think I'm just going to go find somewhere to vomit now.


You'll have to go outside. There's this woman stuck to the toilet, you see...
Tʜᴇ Sᴛʀᴀssᴇʀɪsᴛ Sᴜɴᴅᴀᴇ Cʟᴜʙ ᴏғ Dᴜᴍʙ Iᴅᴇᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇs
¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸ One People, One Nation, Many Puddings ¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸
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Syvorji
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Ex-Nation

Postby Syvorji » Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:51 pm

This news story is either slow news day, or a horribly late April Fool's joke. Besides, it is bloody impossible just to have the skin fused to a fucking chair! And besides, it is so...

Dumb Ideologies wrote:
Dakini wrote:....thanks for that. I think I'm just going to go find somewhere to vomit now.


You'll have to go outside. There's this woman stuck to the toilet, you see...


Where?

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Call to power
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Ex-Nation

Postby Call to power » Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:55 pm

Lordieth wrote:
Call to power wrote:hmm I think I will sit on the fence in regards to this story


Just don't sit on it for 2 years.


don't fence me in brah

Dakini wrote:
The Murtunian Tribes wrote:I'll bet it smells liek a mixture of necrosis and old cheese.

....thanks for that. I think I'm just going to go find somewhere to vomit now.


not a fan of dominoes?
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Caecili
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Postby Caecili » Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:57 pm

Does this remind anyone else of rat kings?

Image


Y'know, except the rats with their tails fused together by knots and crusted poop it's a man fused to a chair by his bulging fat and crusted poop.

Ewww.
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Zeth Rekia
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Postby Zeth Rekia » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:04 pm

Mmm hmmm. Zeno's been sitting in this chair for five years. Could probably root to it too if didn't sleep...

Same thing happens to dogs who have to tight of a collar on for to long. The skin grows around it.

Flesh is amazing, da?

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Tmutarakhan
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Postby Tmutarakhan » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:09 pm

It says he lived with "a roommate and his girlfriend"; ambiguous: possibly it was the roommate's girlfriend.
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Oterro
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Postby Oterro » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:13 pm

Well, this is a vile story.

A fitting end to a vile day.
we, unlike the bourgeoisie, have nothing to lose and therefore our expression will be the only honest one, our words will be the only challenging ones and our art will be the one revolutionary expression. We need new noise and new voices and new canvases to become something more than the last poets of a useless generation.

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Sun Aut Ex
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Postby Sun Aut Ex » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:28 pm

Dakini wrote:This isn't the first time something like this has happened. There was a woman who got fused to a toilet seat a while back. Another who died after being fused to a sofa after remaining there for six years.


It boggles the mind that that's even possible. I mean... wouldn't they at least wiggle their butt a bit to get comfortable? Who could possible sit that still for that long?
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So you think it's ok to waste valuable police time and resources to pander to minority superstitions?

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Yes.

Unless of course it's not OK for a woman to ask for a female to ask for a female officer to carry out body checks. In which case, the answer would be no.

"All available officers, report downtown, armed suspected firing wildly into the public."
"I'll be about then minutes, I have to go to carry out a body check on a woman."

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A Ant
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Postby A Ant » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:30 pm

How did he shit?
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Zeth Rekia
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Postby Zeth Rekia » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:31 pm

A Ant wrote:How did he shit?

He shat on himself.... :meh:

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Jeux II
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Founded: Sep 07, 2010
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Postby Jeux II » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:40 pm

Zeth Rekia wrote:
A Ant wrote:How did he shit?

He shat on himself.... :meh:

Maybe.... there was a hole in the chair?
Always here and always bored. -_-
Wait I have an idea! Entertain me with your words!

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Mahaj
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Postby Mahaj » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:44 pm

Jeux II wrote:
Zeth Rekia wrote:He shat on himself.... :meh:

Maybe.... there was a hole in the chair?

yeah, there was a hole in me.
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Jasarite
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Postby Jasarite » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:44 pm

He had a girlfriend?
We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?- Goblin Market-Christina Rosetti

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The Floridian Coast
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Postby The Floridian Coast » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:45 pm

Done before, even more interesting:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/ns ... alth_care/
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Zirconim
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Postby Zirconim » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:47 pm

Fuck...this ruined my day.
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Xarithis
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Postby Xarithis » Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:53 pm

Sun Aut Ex wrote:Yeah, this is one of those stories that makes me feel awful; how the HELL does he have a girlfriend and I don't?

You pretend there are limits to who can get a date. This guy didn't. Actually, he didn't believe in limits at all - two years in a chair? Damn. This man is a hero to lazy people everywhere. I can only lay in bed for two days, tops, before I get restless and need to move.

This man is hardcore.
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Until I stop procrastinating and write a Factbook, here are a few basic facts of Xarithis for reference:

Form of Government: Dictatorship
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Economic System: Mixed, Leaning toward State Capitalism

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Nulono
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Postby Nulono » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:45 pm

A Ant wrote:How did he shit?


Nulono wrote:
They said he sat in his own waste and was covered in maggots.


You're welcome.
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TheGooborianAmbassador
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Postby TheGooborianAmbassador » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:47 pm

when i looked at this thread's title, i was like O MY JESUS! Someone sat in a chair for 2 YEARS STRAIGHT!?!?! Now that i read it... it's kinda sad.
GOOBER

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Wolny Kraj
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Postby Wolny Kraj » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:49 pm

...doesn't this make you love america?
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TheGooborianAmbassador
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Postby TheGooborianAmbassador » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:50 pm

Wolny Kraj wrote:...doesn't this make you love america?

:lol: it's true...
GOOBER

YO HO HO AND A PINT O' BRASS MONKEY

Conoga wrote:
Luciratus wrote:Likewise, I shall blissfully correct your purposeful errors. Cheers, love.

When it comes to grammar, Goober is a lost cause.

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Rambhutan
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Postby Rambhutan » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:52 pm

Was it a lazy boy?
Are we there yet?

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North Wiedna
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Postby North Wiedna » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:52 pm

TheGooborianAmbassador wrote:when i looked at this thread's title, i was like O MY JESUS! Someone sat in a chair for 2 YEARS STRAIGHT!?!?! Now that i read it... it's kinda sad.

I expected it to be some skinny Indian guy with a mustache who did it to bring fame to his family.
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A Ant
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Postby A Ant » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:53 pm

Nulono wrote:You're welcome.

Reading the OP is for pussies, I find out what the topic is about by reading the replies.

Needs moar pictures too.
Last edited by A Ant on Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Georgism in disguise
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Oterro
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Founded: May 01, 2010
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Postby Oterro » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:54 pm

North Wiedna wrote:
TheGooborianAmbassador wrote:when i looked at this thread's title, i was like O MY JESUS! Someone sat in a chair for 2 YEARS STRAIGHT!?!?! Now that i read it... it's kinda sad.

I expected it to be some skinny Indian guy with a mustache who did it to bring fame to his family.


I read it in Latest Forum Topics and was like; ''oho, some chap managed to keep himself seated for 2 years and finally stood up!''

But no. Morbidly obese man dies in chair, covered in shit.
we, unlike the bourgeoisie, have nothing to lose and therefore our expression will be the only honest one, our words will be the only challenging ones and our art will be the one revolutionary expression. We need new noise and new voices and new canvases to become something more than the last poets of a useless generation.

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Holmaniah
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Founded: Mar 28, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Holmaniah » Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:56 pm

Oterro wrote:
North Wiedna wrote:I expected it to be some skinny Indian guy with a mustache who did it to bring fame to his family.


I read it in Latest Forum Topics and was like; ''oho, some chap managed to keep himself seated for 2 years and finally stood up!''

But no. Morbidly obese man dies in chair, covered in shit.

L. O. FREAKING L.

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