Love, Dating, Sex, and Marriage

[Mosasauria]

correction CATHOLICISM is a religion F***

Third try was the charm I see...

I still prefer Chalkaholism. It's a much better drug-friendly religion.

[Arkinesia]

correction CATHOLICISM is a religion F***

It's okay, you can swear on the internet and your mum probably won't see it.

[Dyakovo]

correction CATHOLICISM is a religion FUCK

It's okay, you can swear on the internet and your mum probably won't see it.

Well... unless you put it in really big letters...

[Mosasauria]

It's okay, you can swear on the internet and your mum probably won't see it.

Well... unless you put it in really big letters...

Yup, their parents will definitely see that.

[Arkinesia]

It's okay, you can swear on the internet and your mum probably won't see it.

Well... unless you put it in really big letters...

I was angling more for the Zero Punctuation quotation thing, but whatever.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I mean imagine you are technically haveing sex w/ everyone they have ever had sex w/ ewwwwwwwwwwwww

You actually are not. It is possible to catch diseases from anyone they ever had sex with, but having sex with someone is more than just being at risk for catching their diseases.

[Nazi Flower Power]

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chatholicism is a religion F***

It is?

I thought it was a typo...

[Uirupuran]

I actually don't give a shit to sex. If it's after or before the marriage, if it's in the first date or not. I don't care, don't care at all. I don't care if I will make sex or not. If I find an interesting girl, a girl that I love, then I would do it. If I don't find a girl like that, I don't do it. And I'm not the kind of person that is always after sex. I can live pretty good without it.

I think that sex is so damn overrated.

[Grainne Ni Malley]

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chatholicism is a religion F***

It is?

I thought it was a typo...

Typoism, where we judge not whether you have flipped the h and the e or missed an l. You are still going to eHl! Who fired my proofreader anyway?

[Rolamec]

In the past, I was rather promiscuous. I won't lie. I had sex a lot. However recently I returned back to the Church of Rome, with my convictions stronger than ever. I have to say that though I'm rather indifferent about others who do it, I have restrained myself considerably, especially since the beginning of Lent (where I said I would not engage in sex for 40 days -very much a struggle). I personally think the intention of sex within marriage is to preserve its beauty, sex is after all a great thing. But for some people, a test drive is in order. For some a relationship is mostly physical rather than anything else (it was with me for the longest of times). But I am looking for something deeper, something more meaningful, a girlfriend whom I can eventually call my wife. A woman who shares the same views I do in regards to faith, sex, and procreation. Perhaps I'm being rather sentimental about it all, but I fear I have developed a rather puritanical view towards it. But unlike Dimmesdale, I know that I am weak so I will not condemn others. I hate hypocrites above everything else. My beliefs are my own business, and nobody else's.

[Norstal]

Why?

Just a personal philosophy, in some parts extending from religious beliefs and views on sex.

For some hard reasons because when unprotected it can also lead to single parents and unnecessary abortions, it spreads STDs much faster then monogamous relationships would. And generally for the excessively sexual culture associated with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_ratio

True love doesn't exist. So keep saying that until you get older.

Unless...you're a homosexual.

[Norstal]

In the past, I was rather promiscuous. I won't lie. I had sex a lot. However recently I returned back to the Church of Rome, with my convictions stronger than ever. I have to say that though I'm rather indifferent about others who do it, I have restrained myself considerably, especially since the beginning of Lent (where I said I would not engage in sex for 40 days -very much a struggle). I personally think the intention of sex within marriage is to preserve its beauty, sex is after all a great thing. But for some people, a test drive is in order. For some a relationship is mostly physical rather than anything else (it was with me for the longest of times). But I am looking for something deeper, something more meaningful, a girlfriend whom I can eventually call my wife. A woman who shares the same views I do in regards to faith, sex, and procreation. Perhaps I'm being rather sentimental about it all, but I fear I have developed a rather puritanical view towards it. But unlike Dimmesdale, I know that I am weak so I will not condemn others. I hate hypocrites above everything else. My beliefs are my own business, and nobody else's.

Well, couldn't you be romantic and promiscuous? I don't think marriage is needed to preserve sex. Or maybe you weren't "adequate" in your previous lifestyle.

[Geniasis]

I may have worded that wrongly. No they arent any lesser than I am. Personally I think it isnt the right thing to do, Maybe other people think it is okay.

But why do you think its wrong?

For me it's because of the emotional connection. Sex is an intensely physical act and is the epitome of physical intimacy. It's also a very vulnerable act. Now, I don't begrudge others their decisions, but I can't ever undo that physical and emotional connection with another person and the value I place on the act is such that I only want to connect in that way with a person I truly love with all of my being and to be able to be intimate with them in a way that is special and uniquely different from the way I relate to others.

Now I know what you're going to say, and my answer is that you're right. I could fulfill this definition without being married. And in that sense it's true then that marriage is not technically a prerequisite to sex but rather the sex and the marriage will both happen, and for the same reasons.

Er... that was a bit muddled, but I hope that explains it.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Depends on the couple in question.

Care to explain further?

There is no science to this, Mos. It's quite simple. Some people prefer to have sex before marriage while others do not. They may have several reasons, ranging from upbringing, religious beliefs, or personal ones. There is no 'right or wrong' here. It's a matter of the personal choices individuals make.

If you don't wish to wait until marriage to engage in sex, that's fine. But it isn't wrong if you were to decide to wait.

[Rolamec]

In the past, I was rather promiscuous. I won't lie. I had sex a lot. However recently I returned back to the Church of Rome, with my convictions stronger than ever. I have to say that though I'm rather indifferent about others who do it, I have restrained myself considerably, especially since the beginning of Lent (where I said I would not engage in sex for 40 days -very much a struggle). I personally think the intention of sex within marriage is to preserve its beauty, sex is after all a great thing. But for some people, a test drive is in order. For some a relationship is mostly physical rather than anything else (it was with me for the longest of times). But I am looking for something deeper, something more meaningful, a girlfriend whom I can eventually call my wife. A woman who shares the same views I do in regards to faith, sex, and procreation. Perhaps I'm being rather sentimental about it all, but I fear I have developed a rather puritanical view towards it. But unlike Dimmesdale, I know that I am weak so I will not condemn others. I hate hypocrites above everything else. My beliefs are my own business, and nobody else's.

Well, couldn't you be romantic and promiscuous? I don't think marriage is needed to preserve sex. Or maybe you weren't "adequate" in your previous lifestyle.

I suppose you could. But with my convictions, I think I'll do what I'll do. I agree marriage isn't needed to preserve sex, but sex is partly responsible for stronger marriages. Either way, I doubt I was a failure in the past. I mean obviously you can't push everybody buttons. But overall it was good, and not merely for me. I just gotta do what I feel is right, as hard as it is.

[Risottia]

It depends on the person and his/her convictions, really.

I advocate sex before marriage, so you know what it's like. However, I don't mind if others wish to wait to have sex after they marry.

^this.

Though a couple of friend of mine waited till after marriage and found out they didn't like making love to each other a lot.

[Risottia]

Absolutely. I don't want any asthmatic nearsighted children with weak constitutions.

True dat comrade!

As I am in the pinnacle of perfect health myself my partner must necessarily have a very strong constitution and be of above average intelligence. I do not want unintelligent children, no siree!

I suggest you test the newborns for IQ, then proceed to a post-partum abortion for those who fail to hit IQ 150.

[Grainne Ni Malley]

It depends on the person and his/her convictions, really.

I advocate sex before marriage, so you know what it's like. However, I don't mind if others wish to wait to have sex after they marry.

^this.

Though a couple of friend of mine waited till after marriage and found out they didn't like making love to each other a lot.

That's unfortunate. I guess if it's just bad it's bad. I used to fancy that if a couple has only had sex with one another, then they can't have any real concept of whether or not their sex life is good or bad. I also used to think that reserving yourself for one person only might reduce the chances of wondering whether or not the next thing to come along might be better. I didn't take either of these routes myself. I guess it's a case of the grass being greener on the other side.

[Forlon]

I see nothing wrong with sex before marriage, nor do I see a problem with living with someone before marriage either. In my opinion, before marriage is better on both accounts, as some have said a "test drive" of sorts--no need to rush into something blindly and just hope that it works out. I mean you can date someone all you want, who knows what their like when at home, but if you're living with them then you know if you think you can live with them for the rest of your life or not.

Love only goes so far. For instance, say that you've been dating someone for let's say a year and the most you've been in their house is for a night at a time, to do *ahem* stuff...anyway...lets say they have a habit you can't stand, but they only do it when you're away...iunno something like *thinks* for the sake of argument, lets say they chew their toenails, and spit them out...anyway, you decide to marry this person and the first time you see them do this (it being a habit and now living with you, thinking you will love them no matter what, they do it around you...comfortability? something...) you tell them you don't like it, if they could not do it around you that would be great, nice, cordial, just asking that they not do it around you. Now lets say that they continue to do it around you, out of habit, you don't get mad you just keep asking politely for them to stop, until you just can't stand it all anymore and either get mad or just leave the person. Had you lived with them beforehand you would have known about this habit, and would have known before you had to go through the lengthy, expensive, godforsaken mess that is divorce.

As I said, this is my opinion, anyone is free to disagree with it. What you choose to do for your personal relationships is up to you.

[Bottle]

I can't say that I typically have sex on the "first date" or "second date" or whatever, because I've only ever dated two people but I've had sex with many more.

I suppose I'm "backwards" by my society's standards. I consider it far more serious to enter a relationship than to have sex. While most people in my culture think that one should be in a relationship before one has sex, I believe that would be inappropriate. I will only enter a relationship if I already have established that I am willing to commit to that person in whatever serious way our relationship would require, and I can't possibly know that until I've known them for at least a year or so and have had sex with them numerous times.

My current partner and I actually moved faster than I would normally be comfortable with, as we started dating only a year after we met and started sleeping together. But it all turned out well, since September will be 9 years together as a "couple."

As for sex before marriage, I view the entire notion of people "saving sex for marriage" to be offensive. To me, that is a naive and childish concept that makes the sex act more important than love, honor, respect, and any bond that might form between two people. I believe that people who believe in saving sex for marriage are too immature to honestly enter a true marital relationship...but, fortunately, there are people of all genders who hold that belief, so as long as they only marry each other I consider the damage to be contained. Their unions have little meaning in my eyes, but at least they aren't harming anybody, so I don't mind them in any major way. It often worries me that they will produce children and try to impart their beliefs to those children, but I know that lots of people teach their children lots of lousy things, and there is no pragmatic way to stop this. I content myself with knowing that, thanks to the internet, their children will encounter many alternative beliefs and will be free to decide whether or not to stick with what their parents taught them.

[Ifreann]

Sex talk on the interbutt? I'm shocked!

[The Collective Will (Ancient)]

Question: Is the physical aspect of a relationship as important as the emotional aspect and will your viewpoints change as you get older? What if anything does this show? Realistically the physical aspect is a transient thing, your wife or whoever is not going to be the same when you get to 70. But the emotional aspect should still be around. Thats the unavoidable way of things.

I think one of the reasons for the sex after marriage dealy is because you're opening yourself up emotionally. Sex isn't just about the physical its about the emotional and how emotional can you be with casual sex. Not as much as someone you love. Thats what makes it better.
Some people,not everyone, but some people numb the experience sex us supposed to achieve if they have loads of partners.

[PrncssOfCuddles]

In the past, I was rather promiscuous. I won't lie. I had sex a lot. However recently I returned back to the Church of Rome, with my convictions stronger than ever. I have to say that though I'm rather indifferent about others who do it, I have restrained myself considerably, especially since the beginning of Lent (where I said I would not engage in sex for 40 days -very much a struggle). I personally think the intention of sex within marriage is to preserve its beauty, sex is after all a great thing. But for some people, a test drive is in order. For some a relationship is mostly physical rather than anything else (it was with me for the longest of times). But I am looking for something deeper, something more meaningful, a girlfriend whom I can eventually call my wife. A woman who shares the same views I do in regards to faith, sex, and procreation. Perhaps I'm being rather sentimental about it all, but I fear I have developed a rather puritanical view towards it. But unlike Dimmesdale, I know that I am weak so I will not condemn others. I hate hypocrites above everything else. My beliefs are my own business, and nobody else's.

Dimmesdale Condemned only himself. It was the town that condemned Hester

[PrncssOfCuddles]

I just gotta do what I feel is right, as hard as it is.

how hard is it?

[The Merchant Republics]

Just a personal philosophy, in some parts extending from religious beliefs and views on sex.

For some hard reasons because when unprotected it can also lead to single parents and unnecessary abortions, it spreads STDs much faster then monogamous relationships would. And generally for the excessively sexual culture associated with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_ratio

True love doesn't exist. So keep saying that until you get older.

Unless...you're a homosexual.

1. Didn't say true love, just love. Love or at least the bond created by it exists. I believe in true love regardless, but that really isn't here or there to my philosophy.

2. I realize I treat things with a more romantic, perhaps rose-tinted view, but I don't know if you can simply dismiss love altogether either.

3. I'm not following your point with the sex ratio link. You'll need to extrapolate, because I didn't read anything from that page which condemned male-female love

4. Not following the homosexual comment either, I'm straight regardless.