Video Games That Shouldn't Have Been Made

[Brandenburg-Altmark]

Castlevania 64 was terrible as well.

I didn't mind it, but it might be my nostalgia goggles kicking in...

[Minoriteeburg]

Castlevania 64 was terrible as well.

I didn't mind it, but it might be my nostalgia goggles kicking in...

if you want Nostalgia, play the originals on NES or SOTN.

[Brandenburg-Altmark]

I didn't mind it, but it might be my nostalgia goggles kicking in...

if you want Nostalgia, play the originals on NES or SOTN.

I do both, but N64 is still a long time ago!

[Dankenberg]

Command & Conquer 4. Beavis & Butt-Head Miniature Golf (I think it was called something else but that was the game, all of it), Mario Tennis/Typing/any other spinoff that's Mario/Sonic/Star Wars/Star Trek in name only. There was a Simpsons one where you explore Springfield and play minigames, and that's it (although it had a few great Easter Eggs, like a shoebox labeled 'Emergency Collection' in Rev. Lovejoy's office containing among other things Troy Mclure looking like a deer in headlights in front of a public aquarium). The 3D Metroid one. JRPGs where the plot is pretty much '12 to 14-year olds in skimpy, goofy outfits fight monsters and/or each other with attack powers named after semi-random things from Western mythology, then angst about shit I am supposed to care about but don't.' Said games can have decent mechanics sometimes but I'm tired of that and bland FPS 'hardass 25 to 30something year-old in Wookie Armor is hardass' being the biggest or most overhyped bit of the market to the point that it's kinda tough for me to find anything else (not that all JRPGs and FPSs are like that, but a lot are and I'm sick of it). The coin-suckers, the ones ported onto a console that were designed to eat quarters at the arcade, the ones that made you throw your controller. There was an NES game of Platoon I got used and with no instructions, my friends and I gave up on it after we wandered around the jungle for 2 hours and eventually got killed. All with no clue why we were there or wtf we were supposed to be doing. Friday the 13th for NES. Assuming Zero Punctuation hasn't missed something/isn't twisting the facts, the new Fable ("couldn't I tell them I needed their money to get rid of the Shoggoth *before* it shows up and eats half of them?"). The new Doom, the new Duke Nukem. The erotic games for the Atari. The Cho Aniki series (don't Google). Pretty much anything that was sold on having Full-Motion Video. Bubsy. Anything by ValuSoft. The wall of Tetris/Solitaire-type games for sale at Wal-Mart.

[Josh Sinister]

Movies are just easier to make. Games need tons of money for programmers.

If you want the games industry to blossom the way all us "Games Are Art" people whine about; you should be advocating for a generally easier programming language.

That's stupid. Making a game is no more difficult than making a film. It's the income that's the problem. If you make a film, you have guaranteed income at the box office. Games don't have that.

If programming were easier, wouldn't I have made a game by now? Wouldn't the oligopoly video game publishers hold just not exist? Wouldn't there be more small video game companies? Why are there only 639 Xbox 360 games in its entire library? Wouldn't there be more auteurs? If it's not programming, why do all these problems exist?

If games were easy to make, why wouldn't more games, overall, exist?
Maybe I should have said, "games take longer to make because of programming".

[Brandenburg-Altmark]

That's stupid. Making a game is no more difficult than making a film. It's the income that's the problem. If you make a film, you have guaranteed income at the box office. Games don't have that.

If programming were easier, wouldn't I have made a game by now? Wouldn't the oligopoly video game publishers hold just not exist? Wouldn't there be more small video game companies? Why are there only 639 Xbox 360 games in its entire library? Wouldn't there be more auteurs? If it's not programming, why do all these problems exist?

If games were easy to make, why wouldn't more games, overall, exist?

Games aren't extremely difficult to make. Once you learn the programming language it's not all that tough. The problem is that it costs a lot of money and takes a lot of time, even when you're starting on an engine that's already been fleshed out and have no plot it takes lots of man hours to put in textures, do voice overs, record sounds, create models, and build the setting. EA & al exist because they have the money, so they can create a bigger marketing buzz and demand more money for their games. There are quite a lot of "indie" developers out there, and they all do it more as a hobby than anything else because they can't generate enough income to do it full time.

The industry is already over-saturated with people who have taken the standard degrees to become designers only to find the big boys don't need anyone else and publishing is extremely difficult to do on your own.

[Wiztopia]

I should have never bought Oblivion. It is sucking up too many hours of the day.

Piracy works the same except you keep your money.

[Minoriteeburg]

I should have never bought Oblivion. It is sucking up too many hours of the day.

Piracy works the same except you keep your money.

Maybe I should look into that instead.

[The Corparation]

The newer Pokemon games. Only redeeming feature now are legendary Pokemon. And even those are starting to suck. The main redeeming of the last generation was that in one (Platinum) you could catch a naturally occurring wild Magicarp. At levels from 1 until 100!!! So yeah awesome novelty Magicarp of uselessness was main redeeming feature.

[The Rich Port]

Pfft... What the hell is Skyrim supposed to be?

*can't tell how serious that post is*

No, seriously... What the hell is that?

I can tell.

Now then, if you could only tell when people AREN'T being serious.

[The Merchant Republics]

Oblivion was really good. Morrowind had a better story, setting and atmosphere, while Oblivion had better game play, better execution of story and better graphics. Hopefully Skyrim tops them both.

I was pretty content with Fallout 3, so I saw no point in getting Oblivion. I never was a big fan of the sword and sorcery BS, so I was pretty psyched an RPG that didn't have swords came up, especially one as badass as Fallout.

I wonder what your reaction was when you saw this?

[Mechanaria]

Camp of Noobs: World of Whores
Camp of Noobs: 1887 Warfail 2
Camp of Noobs: Crap POS
So many goddamn tens. Terrible balance, repetitive gameplay, god-awful P2P servers, and endless swarms of fanboyish children? No thanks. I actually know two six-year-olds that literally play those. *prepares for the flames*

[Minoriteeburg]

*can't tell how serious that post is*

No, seriously... What the hell is that?

I can tell.

Now then, if you could only tell when people AREN'T being serious.

One miracle at a time.

[The Rich Port]

I was pretty content with Fallout 3, so I saw no point in getting Oblivion. I never was a big fan of the sword and sorcery BS, so I was pretty psyched an RPG that didn't have swords came up, especially one as badass as Fallout.

I wonder what your reaction was when you saw this?

Not that impacting, really.

It was one sword amidst... 60 guns? 100? Something like that.

One sword isn't going to send me for a whirl.

After all, I'm not an Elder Scrolls fanboy.

[Arkinesia]

COD: BO(Call of Duty: Black Ops) shouldn't have been made.

Black Ops was good. MW2, on the other hand…

How the FUCK do you make a modern-setting shooter with NO HK RIFLES THIS IS MADNESS. Especially one involving SAS operatives who use G36Cs with regularity.

As for me, yeah, probably MW2. Or Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days. Or Dead Space 1 and 2.

Reasoning: MW2 was awful in every possible aspect, barring Spec Ops; K&L2 was terrible in every aspect, even the combat was shit; Dead Space 1 and 2 weren't scary because throwing things at the screen and having a dank environment ≠ scary. It never has and never will. Silent Hill 2 ftmfw.

[Minoriteeburg]

Resident Evil 2,3, and Code Veronica (I never even played 4 or 5 because i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore).


Dead Rising 1 and 2...there I said it.

Bring me back the same game without the terrible 72-hour scenario and it will be a good game. Just make it a full on Open Ended RPG. And do the "random events" deal that RDR does.

Then and only then will i buy another dead rising game.

[Brandenburg-Altmark]

I wonder what your reaction was when you saw this?

Not that impacting, really.

It was one sword amidst... 60 guns? 100? Something like that.

One sword isn't going to send me for a whirl.

After all, I'm not an Elder Scrolls fanboy.

I quite liked the melee weapons in Fallout 3. If I got one in the leg or I just felt like being manly I'd rush at my enemies with a combat knife. Especially Super Mutants. I love killing Super Mutants with knives, just so badass.

[The Rich Port]

Resident Evil 2,3, and Code Veronica (I never even played 4 or 5 because i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore).


Dead Rising 1 and 2...there I said it.

Bring me back the same game without the terrible 72-hour scenario and it will be a good game. Just make it a full on Open Ended RPG. And do the "random events" deal that RDR does.

Then and only then will i buy another dead rising game.

What's wrong with Resident Evil 2 and 3?

I quite liked the melee weapons in Fallout 3. If I got one in the leg or I just felt like being manly I'd rush at my enemies with a combat knife. Especially Super Mutants. I love killing Super Mutants with knives, just so badass.

Do knives count as swords? Oh, wait... I think I can guess...

[Minoriteeburg]

Resident Evil 2,3, and Code Veronica (I never even played 4 or 5 because i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore).


Dead Rising 1 and 2...there I said it.

Bring me back the same game without the terrible 72-hour scenario and it will be a good game. Just make it a full on Open Ended RPG. And do the "random events" deal that RDR does.

Then and only then will i buy another dead rising game.

What's wrong with Resident Evil 2 and 3?

They just weren't as good as the original. They got more about the action and less about the survival.

[Arkinesia]

Resident Evil 2,3, and Code Veronica (I never even played 4 or 5 because i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore).

4 was good if you ignored the QTEs. It had a fair bit of survival going on too, as long as you don't play the Ada Wong bits in which case it's action and a lot of Ada's ass.

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

Lego Universe. It's WoW in Lego form with a side of Roblox in it.

xC Oh man, so true. I got in the beta and was like completely disappointed.

[Minoriteeburg]

Resident Evil 2,3, and Code Veronica (I never even played 4 or 5 because i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore).

4 was good if you ignored the QTEs. It had a fair bit of survival going on too, as long as you don't play the Ada Wong bits in which case it's action and a lot of Ada's ass.

Games need to get rid of QTE's and fast. They kill the pace of any game.

[Arkinesia]

Lego Universe. It's WoW in Lego form with a side of Roblox in it.

xC Oh man, so true. I got in the beta and was like completely disappointed.

Oh god help us all, if this is the future of beta testing.

It's a goddamn beta, they're looking for bugs and gameplay fuckups.

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

xC Oh man, so true. I got in the beta and was like completely disappointed.

Oh god help us all, if this is the future of beta testing.

It's a goddamn beta, they're looking for bugs and gameplay fuckups.

I realize that,, but the gameplay itself...

It's not like it's flooded with bugs or anything, it was just... dull.

[Minoriteeburg]

Every Ninja Turtles game for the NES.