A Poem

[Cheztope]

Here's a poem i had to write for my english class. I want to get a good grade on this, so im consulting NSG Constructive criticism only please

Once in a Lifetime
Ephemeral yet eternal, my labyrinth of love
imbues lust and infatuation, leaving evanescent dalliances
but with every ladies coming, ineffable felicity stays
and give to my heart, but wind up taking much away

Once women wake my heart, a scintilla seems sempiternal
A plethora of love, sadly vestigial, but yearns the warmth
of the blood ferried forthward by the very veins leading to my heart
but the high soon ends, and all that remains is regret, ever so tart

But once, only once, in a lifetime, does a lady touch your soul so dearly
that you may never want to stray from her side,
as she will not want to stray from yours
and all woebegones, shall be shredded into nothingness..

Hear the eloquence of her voice, feel the ethereal feeling of her precious palms
and gambol into the horizon, knowing that she will be there, forever... forever.

~Anthony

[North Wiedna]

I don't know what half the words mean.

If they're all used right, it's nice.

Where'd you plagiarize it from?

[Cheztope]

didnt plagiarize, haha and ya know there's this great book called a dictionary but you dont need one nowadays with the fancyshmancy computer and dictionary.com and whatnot, haha

[Farnhamia]

It's a tad overwrought. Unless you're being graded on the number of multi-syllable words, I'd cut it down. This is a love poem:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

So's this:

Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
soles occidere et redire possunt:
nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
nox est perpetua una dormienda.
da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

Let us live, my Lesbia, and let us love,
and let us judge all the rumors of the old men
to be worth just one penny!
The suns are able to fall and rise:
When that brief light has fallen for us,
we must sleep a never ending night.
Give me a thousand kisses, then another hundred,
then another thousand, then a second hundred,
then yet another thousand more, then another hundred.
Then, when we have made many thousands,
we will mix them all up so that we don't know,
and so that no one can be jealous of us when he finds out
how many kisses we have shared.

Plagiarism is, as noted, bad. Studying the masters, on the other hand, is good.

[The GMZ]

Try not basing your poem on just your use of big words your describing love, describe it as it hit you moment by moment instead of trying to sound really smart