Best Lines of Dialogue of All Time

[SaintB]

So what are your favoritest (I know its not a word!) lines from television, radio, or movies? What lines do you think are the most iconic?

One of my all time favorite movie lines is from A Few Good Men when Jack Nicholson utters "You can't handle the truth!"

For an iconic line how about Jackie Gleason as Ralph from the honeymooners? "One of these days ... one of these days ... Pow! Right in the kisser!"

[Thurask]

Shouldn't this be in A&F?

[SaintB]

Shouldn't this be in A&F?

Yes it should but I was apparently in the wrong forum.

[Ryadn]

Off the top of my head:

BARTLETT: We meant "stronger" here, right?
SAM: What's it say?
BARTLETT: I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?
SAM: That's a typo.
BARTLETT: Could go either way.

SAM: All I'm saying is, isn't this more of a military issue?
TOBY: You think that the United States is under attack from 12,000 Cubans in rowboats?
SAM: I’m not saying I don’t like our chances.

[Conserative Morality]

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you never ever tip, huh?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, this girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. But she wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times.
Mr. Blonde: Six times? Well, what if she's too fucking busy?
Mr. Pink: The words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
Nice Guy Eddie: Excuse me Mr. Pink, but the last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee.
Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ man, these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasn't lucky enough to have a job the society deemed tipworthy.
Mr. Blue: You don't care if they're counting on your tips to live?
Mr. Pink: [rubbing his middle finger and thumb together] You know what this is? The world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
Mr. White: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
Mr. Pink: So is working at McDonald's, but you don't see anyone tip them, do you? Why not, they're serving you food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. It's bullshit!
Mr. White: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one jab basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.
Mr. Pink: Fuck all that! I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.
Mr. Orange: You know what, you just convinced me. Gimmie my dollar back!

[SaintB]

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you never ever tip, huh?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, this girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. But she wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times.
Mr. Blonde: Six times? Well, what if she's too fucking busy?
Mr. Pink: The words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
Nice Guy Eddie: Excuse me Mr. Pink, but the last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee.
Mr. Pink: Jesus Christ man, these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasn't lucky enough to have a job the society deemed tipworthy.
Mr. Blue: You don't care if they're counting on your tips to live?
Mr. Pink: [rubbing his middle finger and thumb together] You know what this is? The world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
Mr. White: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
Mr. Pink: So is working at McDonald's, but you don't see anyone tip them, do you? Why not, they're serving you food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. It's bullshit!
Mr. White: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one jab basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.
Mr. Pink: Fuck all that! I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.
Mr. Orange: You know what, you just convinced me. Gimmie my dollar back!

Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

[AlturRung]

Gimli: It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy woman.
[he burps]
Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.
Gimli: What did I say? He can't hold his liquor.
[Gimli passes out]
Legolas: [to Eomer who is watching] Game over.

Aragorn: Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!*

[Conserative Morality]

Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

Great line, but not a dialogue.

[SaintB]

Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

Great line, but not a dialogue.

That's why it's best lines of dialogue, it can be single lines in a dialogue an entire dialogue

[Rolamec]

Dirty Harry

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

[Lackadaisical2]

Shouldn't this be in A&F?

Yes, but then no one would notice it.

From Hardcore(1979):

BDB: "I'm Dick Black, you're doing a porno movie, right?"
Jake Van Dorn: "Right."
BDB:"Then I'm the man for you."
JVD:"I'm glad to meet you Mr. Black, but I'm afraid you're not exactly the type we're looking for."
BDB:"You mean because I'm Black?"
JVD:(laughing)"No, you're just not the type."
BDB:"what do you mean, not the type?(angrily) Man, don't you know who I am? I'm Big Dick Black, I've done more porno movies than you ever saw. I worked with harry Reams, Johnny Wides, Not the type?! I can cum ten times a day, I can keep it hard for two hours at a time, I'm a woman's dream. I've got a dick hung on me nine inches long."
JVD:I'm sorry Mr. Black, I'm sure you're very good, but at the moment I just don't have anything for you. Something comes up, I'll be happy to give you a call."
BDB:"Shit, you don't want to hire any niggers, thats all. I knew this was a scam. This is Bullshit."

[Thurask]

All of this.

[Garimidia]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6csp2fZt2E

Pulp Fiction is epic.

[SaintB]

Charlie Chaplin in "The Great Dictator"

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white.

We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness - not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls - has barricaded the world with hate - has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man - cries for universal brotherhood - for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world - millions of despairing men, women, and little children - victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say: 'Do not despair.' The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you and enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts. You don't hate, only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural!

Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St Luke, it is written the kingdom of God is within man not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful - to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security.

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason - a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!

Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah. The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light. We are coming into a new world - a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed and their brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow - into the light of hope, into the future, the glorious future that belongs to you, to me, and to all of us. Look up, Hannah... look up!"

[EnragedMaldivians]

Off the top of my head:

BARTLETT: We meant "stronger" here, right?
SAM: What's it say?
BARTLETT: I'm proud to report our country's stranger than it was a year ago?
SAM: That's a typo.
BARTLETT: Could go either way.

SAM: All I'm saying is, isn't this more of a military issue?
TOBY: You think that the United States is under attack from 12,000 Cubans in rowboats?
SAM: I’m not saying I don’t like our chances.

God I love the West Wing.

I liked Bartlet ranting in Latin against God in the finale of the second season; that entire episode was magnificent, especially at the end.

[Equimanthon]

Possibly the finest 37 seconds of dialogue in cinematic history, : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg

The delivery is just so raw and emotional.

[Rolamec]

Possibly the finest 37 seconds of dialogue in cinematic history, : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg

The delivery is just so raw and emotional.

"Oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man..." *spins around in a circle*

[Risottia]

The Princess: "I love you!"
The Scoundrel: "I know."

Awesome.

[Risottia]

Possibly the finest 37 seconds of dialogue in cinematic history, : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg
The delivery is just so raw and emotional.

[Christmahanikwanzikah]

"Take these three items: some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone."

-Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

Danny: "I'm gonna end up working in a lumber yard for the rest of my life."
Ty: "What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumber yards."
Danny: "I notice you don't spend too much time there."
Ty: "I'm not sure where they are."
Danny: "Oh."

[The Bleeding Roses]

What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

[The Bleeding Roses]

Trask: Mr. Sims, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar.

Slade: But not a snitch.

Trask: Excuse me?

Slade: No, I don't think I will.

Trask: Mr. Slade.

Slade: This is such a crock of shit.

Trask: Please watch your language, Mr. Slade. You are in the Baird School not a barracks. Mr. Sims, I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.

Slade: Mr. Sims doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled: "Still worthy of being a 'Baird Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? "Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide" -- anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake? Well, gentlemen, when the shit hits the fan some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie facing the fire; and there's George hidin' in big Daddy's pocket. And what are you doin'? You're gonna reward George and destroy Charlie.

Trask: Are you finished, Mr. Slade?

Slade: No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. I don't know who went to this place, William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell -- whoever. Their spirit is dead -- if they ever had one -- it's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for sea goin' snitches. And if you think your preparing these minnows for manhood you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills! What a sham. What kind of a show are you guys puttin' on here today. I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I'm here to tell ya this boy's soul is intact. It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? Someone here -- and I'm not gonna say who -- offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't sellin'.

Trask: Sir, you are out of order!

Slade: Outta order? I'll show you outta order! You don't know what outta order is, Mr. Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old; I'm too tired; I'm too fuckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a FLAME-THROWER to this place! Outta order. Who the hell you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit; there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sendin' this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are executin' his SOUL!! And why?! Because he's not a Baird man! Baird men, ya hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, FUCK YOU too!

Mr. Trask: Stand down, Mr. Slade!

Slade: I'm not finished! As I came in here, I heard those words, "cradle of leadership." Well, when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here; it has fallen. Makers of men; creators of leaders; be careful what kind of leaders you're producin' here. I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong.

I'm not a judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future!! And that, my friends, is called integrity! That's called courage! Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie. He's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path. It's the right path. It's a path made of principle -- that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey.

You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee. It's a valuable future. Believe me. Don't destroy it! Protect it. Embrace it. It's gonna make ya proud one day -- I promise you.

[The Bleeding Roses]

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

[EvilDarkMagicians]

"I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Always makes me chuckle.