NationStates

Hello everyone!

I have recently been trying to write some more fiction from the first person perspective for my factbooks, and would welcome feedback from anyone who is willing. In particular, I'd love advice on how to make my dialogues sound more natural and prevent repetition of the same phrases/clichés. I've added the link to my writing below- thanks for your help!

https://www.nationstates.net/nation=rev ... ok/id=main