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by Amorosa-Coonarra Coasts » Mon Nov 02, 2020 4:55 am
by Farnhamia » Mon Nov 02, 2020 2:53 pm
by Xmara » Mon Nov 02, 2020 7:10 pm
Page wrote:There was this movie on the Lifetime Channel years ago called Cyber-Seduction: His Secret Life. It's about a teen who gets addicted to porn and the movie is so awful that it's brilliant in a Troll 2 kind of way.
Highlights include:
- The dumbass kid downloads porn to a CD and labels it "virgin vaginas." He labeled his secret porn lol
- The little brother walks in on him looking at porn and then later stares blankly like he has PTSD
- The kid is so ashamed of his porn addiction he decides to drown himself but without drugs or something to weigh him down, he just swims underwater and waits to die as if he doesn't know that he will instinctively come up for air.
It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, I laughed so hard.
by Western Fardelshufflestein » Mon Nov 02, 2020 7:11 pm
Xmara wrote:Page wrote:There was this movie on the Lifetime Channel years ago called Cyber-Seduction: His Secret Life. It's about a teen who gets addicted to porn and the movie is so awful that it's brilliant in a Troll 2 kind of way.
Highlights include:
- The dumbass kid downloads porn to a CD and labels it "virgin vaginas." He labeled his secret porn lol
- The little brother walks in on him looking at porn and then later stares blankly like he has PTSD
- The kid is so ashamed of his porn addiction he decides to drown himself but without drugs or something to weigh him down, he just swims underwater and waits to die as if he doesn't know that he will instinctively come up for air.
It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, I laughed so hard.
Oh man, my mom loves those Lifetime movies. Every single one I've seen with her has been absolutely ridiculous. There was this one (I forget what it was called) where this woman is pregnant and this other woman becomes obsessed with her and decides to steal her baby, so she drugs the pregnant woman and takes her to her house along with a doctor (who she kidnapped at gunpoint) and forces the doctor to deliver the baby in her bedroom. When the pregnant woman comes to and realizes her baby's gone, there's absolutely zero signs that she's just given birth. There's no mess, her clothes and hair look pristine. The only thing that's suspicious is that she no longer had a baby bump.
The Western Fardelshufflestein Sentinel | 27 November 2022 bUt wHy iS tHE rUm gOnE!?
by Brettenwald » Mon Nov 02, 2020 7:26 pm
by Amorosa-Coonarra Coasts » Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:21 am
Honeydewistania wrote:The Emoji Movie. It was truly terrible, the unfunniest movie probably ordered by out of touch executives for a ‘Fellow Kids’ moment.
by Pax Nerdvana » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:34 am
by The New California Republic » Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:47 am
by Nori Natto » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:18 am
by Turelisa- » Fri Nov 06, 2020 8:25 am
by Xmara » Fri Nov 06, 2020 9:39 pm
Western Fardelshufflestein wrote:Xmara wrote:Oh man, my mom loves those Lifetime movies. Every single one I've seen with her has been absolutely ridiculous. There was this one (I forget what it was called) where this woman is pregnant and this other woman becomes obsessed with her and decides to steal her baby, so she drugs the pregnant woman and takes her to her house along with a doctor (who she kidnapped at gunpoint) and forces the doctor to deliver the baby in her bedroom. When the pregnant woman comes to and realizes her baby's gone, there's absolutely zero signs that she's just given birth. There's no mess, her clothes and hair look pristine. The only thing that's suspicious is that she no longer had a baby bump.
WTHECK--.
by Nuroblav » Sat Nov 07, 2020 7:13 am
Turelisa- wrote:Forest Gump. Described by one mainstream publication as 'glib, shallow, and monotonous.' It is also contrived in its sentimentality.
by Aeritai » Sat Nov 07, 2020 9:16 am
Xmara wrote:Western Fardelshufflestein wrote:WTHECK--.
Most of those Lifetime movies are awful. They're pretty much the same plot rehashed over and over and over again: Rich which suburban housewife is terrorized by her ex/kids' nanny/neighbor/housekeeper/long-lost twin/mother-in-law/etc. The protagonist makes a bunch of stupid decisions and the police are incredibly incompetent. People get killed (usually stabbed or poisoned) and it's made to look like an accident or suicide. At the climax the protagonist faces off against the antagonist, and usually the antagonist dies (or pretends to die) or is arrested. Movie ends with the protagonist going right back to her normal life as if nothing ever happened. No physical or psychological damage whatsoever. If the antagonist lives, they're either in a mental institution or are living in a new town under an assumed name, looking for more rich white suburban housewives to torment.
by Nuroblav » Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:45 am
Aeritai wrote:Hallmark Christmas Movies: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
by Saint-Domingues » Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:48 pm
by Free Las Pinas » Sat Nov 07, 2020 7:11 pm
Turelisa- wrote:Do I need your approval to post thrice?
Pax Nerdvana wrote:Genuinely Terrible Movies:
Kung Fu Hustle
Attack of the Mushroom People
The Emoji Movie
It's amazing what weird crap you can find on the various streaming services. There's a movie on Amazon Prime called Velocipastor that I'm half tempted to watch purely because the title is hilarious.
by Xmara » Sat Nov 07, 2020 8:10 pm
Aeritai wrote:Xmara wrote:Most of those Lifetime movies are awful. They're pretty much the same plot rehashed over and over and over again: Rich which suburban housewife is terrorized by her ex/kids' nanny/neighbor/housekeeper/long-lost twin/mother-in-law/etc. The protagonist makes a bunch of stupid decisions and the police are incredibly incompetent. People get killed (usually stabbed or poisoned) and it's made to look like an accident or suicide. At the climax the protagonist faces off against the antagonist, and usually the antagonist dies (or pretends to die) or is arrested. Movie ends with the protagonist going right back to her normal life as if nothing ever happened. No physical or psychological damage whatsoever. If the antagonist lives, they're either in a mental institution or are living in a new town under an assumed name, looking for more rich white suburban housewives to torment.
Hallmark Christmas Movies: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
by Wizlandia » Sat Nov 07, 2020 8:14 pm
by New Antarcticania » Sat Nov 07, 2020 8:16 pm
by Xmara » Sat Nov 07, 2020 8:24 pm
Nuroblav wrote:Aeritai wrote:Hallmark Christmas Movies: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
SILENCE! I shall NOT have the classic masterpiece Love You like Christmas insulted like that!!
I don't think I've ever seen a more formulaic movie to be honest. It felt a dreary hybrid of A Christmas Carol and The Shack
by Ordenstaat Buergund » Sat Nov 07, 2020 9:13 pm
Xmara wrote:Nuroblav wrote:SILENCE! I shall NOT have the classic masterpiece Love You like Christmas insulted like that!!
I don't think I've ever seen a more formulaic movie to be honest. It felt a dreary hybrid of A Christmas Carol and The Shack
I watched one with my mom last year about this woman who is a scientist who starts dating a man who turns out to be the child of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and the Clauses come to her house to stay for a while. Anyway, the woman's dad (I think?) gets suspicious of this Claus guy and takes a DNA sample and runs it.
The way they portrayed DNA analysis was so inaccurate. He took the sample, stuck it on this thing that looked like a fingerprint scanner, and all of this data just magically started popping up on his computer (including an image from gel electrophoresis! he didn't even run a gel!). To top it all off, a message popped up on the computer that said that the DNA sample did not match anyone, and all of this took place in a matter of seconds.
Look, I'm willing to give a little leeway to movies when it comes to portraying science, especially fantasy movies. I don't expect the writers to get every little detail about DNA analysis correct. Maybe I'm being overly critical since I actually am going to be doing this for a living when I finish up college, but I swear the writers of this movie didn't even try to make it seem realistic.
by Nuroblav » Sun Nov 08, 2020 3:09 am
Qihein wrote:The Little Panda Fighter
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