PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[The Imperial Reach]

Aw geez... Y'know what, these dev diaries for Screw Me 3 are really getting my hopes up. Screw Me 2 is already great at making you feel terrible, Screw Me 3 is going to up the ante insn't it?

In case it isn't obvious which game I'm talking about, I'm talking about Crusader Kings 2. And boy did I drop the ball last game. You don't need to know the specifics, just that I played, Iron Century Georgia and was having a nice time, only for a whack to the head, adventurers and Abbasids to f'ing penetrate me wherever. And that's not a sexual euphemism. Now the game is where it belongs, with me, in the garbage. Becasue only garbage people fail at something that bad. And the worst part is it wasn't even my fault. That's the stupidest darned thing about this game. Nothing is ever your fault. One day your fabricating claims for 7 or so years and the next you've RNG'd yourself Alexander's bloodline, rolled a nat20 on your eugenics program, and the local hostile blob has embroiled itself in civil war. CK2 feels, to be frank, out of control. I mean I got clobbered in the head so hard it gave me permanent brain damage in this one game-twice. Not to mention the brain-dead Byzantine AI going as limp as limp can get whenever the Abbasids come a knocking, but when I do the reverse, all of Persia comes pouring down. Not to mention the ludicrous amounts of raiders that come pouring out of the steppe. It is just stupid. There is at least 1 army of random Khazars seiging down my lands at any given time. And then of them come out of the mountains, while your head is sunken and then the Abbasids take Azerbajan. Maybe I should just clobber myself IRL too. And actually, no, that is not even the worst part. The worst part is this feels like I'm coming off as a whiny b***, and as such I'm just supposed to 'git gud.' Otherwise I'm being an entitled brat. Now I know that ain't true but it feels like this. Ranting about my less than favored experiences in games is cathartic, but it also feels kinda, humiliating I guess.

TL:DR, I'm the biggest retard in all the land.

I'd like to ask you guys how you keep yourselves sane playing PDX games. Many of them feel like 'tear-your-hair-out' experiences sometimes. And while that is one thing, another thing is doing awesome stuff. Conquering the map, getting an absurdly high number of something, surmounting challenges as dirt-poor playables, you know what I mean. Because right now I feel far from that ideal.

Georgia isn't exactly an easy spot to play so don't beat yourself up too much.

Plus, the A.I. does intentionally try to screw you over. That's where the real difficulty in the game comes from. The A.I. can literally sense your weakness whenever it manifests and will do all in it's power to exploit it whenever possible. No, seriously. It deliberately tries to end your game prematurely. Think of it as the true Final Boss of the game.

[The Huskar Social Union]

So im doing that second challenge as the Welsh dude, well... his grandson now. And i just died as his mother and am now playing him, and the very second i hit unpause after she dies he finds the Necronomican.

The fuck has this man been up to.

[Dome Artan]

So im doing that second challenge as the Welsh dude, well... his grandson now. And i just died as his mother and am now playing him, and the very second i hit unpause after she dies he finds the Necronomican.

The fuck has this man been up to.

Lol I didn't even know that was an event.

Also has anyone ever taken the whole map before? I'm kind of trying it with my Kirghiz Zunist run.

[Auze]

So im doing that second challenge as the Welsh dude, well... his grandson now. And i just died as his mother and am now playing him, and the very second i hit unpause after she dies he finds the Necronomican.

The fuck has this man been up to.

Here's hoping you don't meet the fate of the IRL grandson of Llywelyn the Great.

[The Imperial Reach]

So im doing that second challenge as the Welsh dude, well... his grandson now. And i just died as his mother and am now playing him, and the very second i hit unpause after she dies he finds the Necronomican.

The fuck has this man been up to.

Lol I didn't even know that was an event.

Also has anyone ever taken the whole map before? I'm kind of trying it with my Kirghiz Zunist run.

Dafuq is wrong with your deserts, boi?

So im doing that second challenge as the Welsh dude, well... his grandson now. And i just died as his mother and am now playing him, and the very second i hit unpause after she dies he finds the Necronomican.

The fuck has this man been up to.

Here's hoping you don't meet the fate of the IRL grandson of Llywelyn the Great.

Yeah, Huskar. Keep your head up.

[Dome Artan]

Lol I didn't even know that was an event.

Also has anyone ever taken the whole map before? I'm kind of trying it with my Kirghiz Zunist run.

Dafuq is wrong with your deserts, boi?

Thats default desert right there. Only takes on nation colour once surrounded. I don't use any mods, hope no one finds that too cursed.

[Abserdia]

Dafuq is wrong with your deserts, boi?

Thats default desert right there. Only takes on nation colour once surrounded. I don't use any mods, hope no one finds that too cursed.

I think what’s wrong is that weird pattern. Never seen it before in my life and I use default wastelands as well.

[Bralia]

Can I just say that the forefront dude in L'Empereur's art looks like a complete doofus in that hat?

[Heloin]

Can I just say that the forefront dude in L'Empereur's art looks like a complete doofus in that hat?

(Image)

As opposed to the short French dude who is wearing a perfectly normal hat.

[Dome Artan]

Thats default desert right there. Only takes on nation colour once surrounded. I don't use any mods, hope no one finds that too cursed.

I think what’s wrong is that weird pattern. Never seen it before in my life and I use default wastelands as well.

Hmm idk then. Thats all I've ever had for them.

Update to the Kirghiz Zunists. A vassal Khan went and subjugated Germany, which gave me that and all of Norway. Also while scrolling around the map I found something worse than my wastelands.

[Bralia]

Can I just say that the forefront dude in L'Empereur's art looks like a complete doofus in that hat?

(Image)

As opposed to the short French dude who is wearing a perfectly normal hat.

You're god-damn right that's a perfectly normal hat. That's a hat of the revolution. Vive l'empereur!

[Ism]

As opposed to the short French dude who is wearing a perfectly normal hat.

You're god-damn right that's a perfectly normal hat. That's a hat of the revolution. Vive l'empereur!

Eh, he's a tyrant like all the rest of them.

[Impaled Nazarene]

Can I just say that the forefront dude in L'Empereur's art looks like a complete doofus in that hat?

(Image)

As opposed to the short French dude who is wearing a perfectly normal hat.

"Short"
SILENCE ENGLISHMAN

[Bralia]

The Stellaris AI is becoming sentient. It's learning how to plan. If it accomplishes its goals, humanity is doomed. We need to kill it before it destroys us all.

[Heloin]

As opposed to the short French dude who is wearing a perfectly normal hat.

"Short"
SILENCE ENGLISHMAN

Wie noem jy Engels?

[Ifreann]

The Stellaris AI is becoming sentient. It's learning how to plan. If it accomplishes its goals, humanity is doomed. We need to kill it before it destroys us all.

I, for one, welcome our AI ministers.

[Danubian Peoples]

Sardinia 867 game pics.

[The Imperial Reach]

I think what’s wrong is that weird pattern. Never seen it before in my life and I use default wastelands as well.

Hmm idk then. Thats all I've ever had for them.

Update to the Kirghiz Zunists. A vassal Khan went and subjugated Germany, which gave me that and all of Norway. Also while scrolling around the map I found something worse than my wastelands.

What, exactly, are you pointing to that is "worse"? If you're referring to the Catholic Bedouin Umayyad, that's not even eyebrow-raising worthy.

Whatever is wrong with your deserts is definitely still awful.

"Short"
SILENCE ENGLISHMAN

Wie noem jy Engels?

R.I.P. Naz

Whenever - Today

Died from making the fatal mistake of calling a Boer/Rhodie "Englishman"; Saint Peter is undoubtedly standing by at the Pearly Gates waiting patiently for his arrival, Darwin Award in hand.

[The Imperial Reach]

Sardinia 867 game pics.

God damn, how'd you get Greek, Persian, and Irish ancestral bloodlines so quickly? I see the Greek and Irish ancestors, but not the Persian.

[Danubian Peoples]

Sardinia 867 game pics.

God damn, how'd you get Greek, Persian, and Irish ancestral bloodlines so quickly? I see the Greek and Irish ancestors, but not the Persian.

Well I'm just trying to snag historical bloodlines for the achievement along the way.

[Abserdia]

The Stellaris AI is becoming sentient. It's learning how to plan. If it accomplishes its goals, humanity is doomed. We need to kill it before it destroys us all.

I, for one, welcome our AI ministers.

Cautiously optimistic that the AI will be improved from 'kinda bad' to 'actually decent.'

[Danubian Peoples]

So an update to my Sardinia game. While I was busy snagging bloodlines, I decided to go for Karling bloodline. But because this is CK2, two of my kids are now kings of Aquitaine and Bohemia. Should I off myself via boat?

[Genivaria]

So been playing AtE mod for CK2 and have retaken the Kingdom of Socal in the name of Zakariyya.

Afterwards this has come up with no indication of what will happen.
Any ideas?

[Abserdia]

Just played a communist Yugoslavia game in HOI4.

Italy: extremely dumb.
Germany: way too eager.
Japan: ???
The Balkans and Central Europe: mine, I guess.

The fascist countries in Europe have problems.
Oftentimes Italy goes "Yeah, Hungary and I can take on the U.K., France, Greece, Yugoslavia, and the Soviet Union. With no assistance from Germany."
And then Germany decides to attack the Low Countries way too early when they are quite literally surrounded from the Netherlands to the Soviets and have an army barely bigger than France's.

They either have no sense of timing or no fear. Maybe a bit of both.

[Bralia]

Stellaris is going to be doing a video series with Youtubers showcasing the new Origins.