PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[Bralia]

I don't play CK2 very often and I'm realizing a big reason why: once I start a session . . . I can't stop. It's actually a problem. I didn't get any sleep yesterday.

[The Imperial Reach]

I don't play CK2 very often and I'm realizing a big reason why: once I start a session . . . I can't stop. It's actually a problem. I didn't get any sleep yesterday.

Oh thank God.

I thought I was the only one.

[Kargintina the Third]

Anyone here play Kaiserreich?

[Genivaria]

Anyone here play Kaiserreich?

*BLASTS DIE WACHT AM RHEIN*

[Danubian Peoples]

Can anyone tell me how CK2 CB rewards work? The tooltip claims you get 50 piety if you win, but I never get even close to that.

Tooltip of Lies

What I am actually getting

[Bralia]

I finally had the most iconically Greek moment that I've been waiting for all game: I cut my son's balls off so his god-tier brother could be my heir.

[Abserdia]

I finally had the most iconically Greek moment that I've been waiting for all game: I cut my son's balls off so his god-tier brother could be my heir.

This newborn baby could easily defeat a kinda weak old man in a duel.

[Bralia]

Finally formed the custom empire that I've been ultimately planning for. In about 100 years, the Byzantine core is going to be subsumed and the de jure map modes will suffer horrific border gore.

I feel like now's the time to share the story so far of this run: IMMEDIATELY after conquering Greece, I blitzed Krete with such speed that no other Islamic nation could join in. Easiest holy war I've ever waged in such a dangerous area of the world I've ever done. After that, it was time to relax and settle in for the long run. Eventually, the Byzantine tributary state in Epirus broke off and I claimed them as my own tributary in an effort to build up a high quality demesne quickly. That relationship eventually broke down and I annexed them in one vassalization war. From there, I finally had enough power to punch up at Bulgaria and the Byzantines. Bit by bit, tedious claim after tedious claim, de jure Kingdom of Epirus became mine. But I did not form the Kingdom of Epirus. No, no, no, no, no. The Kingdom of Greece was sadly small and unsatisfying when I conquered it, I wanted it to become more. And so I decreed that the title of Epirus would disappear from the game.

After finishing the conquest of Epirus, I faced my first decision. I hadn't planned this far ahead, I was wondering what I wanted to do with the run next now that I had a very sustainable kingdom that could fight anybody nearby one-on-one. That's when I decided that I could be a better version of the Byzantine Empire. I made up my mind to take Thrace and initially planned to carve out my own empire out of Byzantine ashes. And so, claim by claim, I continued to slowly chip away at the Byzantines, never having an easy moment of it, the Byzzies were continuously expanding in every direction but mine. Along the way, I "restored" the ancient fortress where I had made my capital, the Akrokorinth. Work has slowed to a halt in the past century, I've been picking up wonders like candy and they jack up the price of my personal wonder like crazy.

The third phase of the game was made much easier when Crusades and Jihads became enabled. In order to form a custom empire I needed a third kingdom and I wasn't sure where I wanted to go to pick it up. That thought was resolved when the Abbasid Sunni Caliphate declared a Jihad for Anatolia. I could have been a good Orthodox and went to help the Byzantines . . . but I didn't. This was the opportunity I needed to ramp up the speed of expansion. By this time in the game, the entire central portion of the map had all centralized into great realms. The Shia Hashimids owned almost all of North Africa. The Sunni Abbasids owned everything from Syria to Yemen. A holy war versus either was a one-on-one fight. No need to worry about dogpiling. Their realms were massive and much stronger than mine. But that didn't matter much now that supply limits were becoming much more important. Smart logistics and maneuvres are now the key to winning wars, not strength of numbers. And so I holy warred for half of Anatolia before finishing it off in a Great Conquest.

And with that we come to modern times. I'm confident that I'm strong enough to take on entire religions. It's time to secure the Orthodox faith as the dominant religion in the world. The last major act I've done is take the Kingdom of Jerusalem Philistia and established the Brotherhood of the Holy Sepulchre. It's time to crush the Caliphates. And end Christian schism along the way, for what very little that's worth.

[Renoa]

After I finally finish this godforsaken game where I accidentally an emperor, the only way I want to touch the HRE in CK2 ever again is to dismantle it. It is an empire built on depravity, deceit, greed, arrogance, and defensive pacts.

And I really fucking hate defensive pacts.

[Bralia]

I'm sad to learn that I can't mend the schism nor form the Roman Empire because I'm not the Byzantine Empire. I can understand not being able to re-form Rome considering Byzantium is literally the Eastern Roman Empire, but why the hell can't ANY Orthodox mend the schism?

[Valrifell]

I'm sad to learn that I can't mend the schism nor form the Roman Empire because I'm not the Byzantine Empire. I can understand not being able to re-form Rome considering Byzantium is literally the Eastern Roman Empire, but why the hell can't ANY Orthodox mend the schism?

You can always try and reform Byzantium. I think the requirements for that entail having a female control Contstantinople? I don't remember exactly, but it was something weird that had to happen when I went Ivaring -> Rome.

Sidenote: I have no screenshots of that game because those were on an old PC that was not backed up

[Bralia]

I'm sad to learn that I can't mend the schism nor form the Roman Empire because I'm not the Byzantine Empire. I can understand not being able to re-form Rome considering Byzantium is literally the Eastern Roman Empire, but why the hell can't ANY Orthodox mend the schism?

You can always try and reform Byzantium. I think the requirements for that entail having a female control Contstantinople? I don't remember exactly, but it was something weird that had to happen when I went Ivaring -> Rome.

Sidenote: I have no screenshots of that game because those were on an old PC that was not backed up

Even if I did want to reforming Byzantium, the effort required would be significant and annoying. They've spread out all over the place, especially in places where I have zero interest in owning territory, like the steppe. Best I could hope for is that the rest of the world finishes them off, which is starting to happen.

Actually, never mind, I could ask the Chinese Emperor to do it for me. Hm. I might seriously consider it. The big drawback that I still don't want to deal with is the Imperial Elective system, though.

[The Imperial Reach]

I'm sad to learn that I can't mend the schism nor form the Roman Empire because I'm not the Byzantine Empire. I can understand not being able to re-form Rome considering Byzantium is literally the Eastern Roman Empire, but why the hell can't ANY Orthodox mend the schism?

You can always try and reform Byzantium. I think the requirements for that entail having a female control Contstantinople? I don't remember exactly, but it was something weird that had to happen when I went Ivaring -> Rome.

Sidenote: I have no screenshots of that game because those were on an old PC that was not backed up

You have to be Orthodox to form the Byzantine Empire. Nothing about being female.

[Bralia]

On second thought, I'm absolutely going to see to it that the Byzantine Empire is dissolved. Whether or not I re-form them is still up for debate, but dissolving their power has been a low priority goal all game. I didn't even think of kicking the dog once it was on the ground.

[Cisairse]

On second thought, I'm absolutely going to see to it that the Byzantine Empire is dissolved. Whether or not I re-form them is still up for debate, but dissolving their power has been a low priority goal all game. I didn't even think of kicking the dog once it was on the ground.

blessed post

[The Huskar Social Union]

On second thought, I'm absolutely going to see to it that the Byzantine Empire is dissolved. Whether or not I re-form them is still up for debate, but dissolving their power has been a low priority goal all game. I didn't even think of kicking the dog once it was on the ground.

Huskar Opinion -60

[Atheris]

I finally had the most iconically Greek moment that I've been waiting for all game: I cut my son's balls off so his god-tier brother could be my heir.

uhhh hello? based police?

[Bralia]

I can't ask the Chinese to delete Byzantium because the ERE doesn't have 40 counties. God fucking damn it. I just gave this Chinese motherfucker some of my best artifacts, two concubines and two eunuchs. How about you drop these ridiculous rules and just do the job, asshole!?

[Latvijas Otra Republika]

All of my paradox games are always doomed to failure, it’s infuriating. Nothing goes to plan.

CK2- Form a pagan wendish Empre spanning from the Baltic, Black Sea and the shores of the Mediterranean. Great many ancient kings and emperors, construct temples and a great hall for the deceased. Defeat the very Pope in Rome and sack Constantinople. After three hundred years of rule or more the Mongols come, the last remnants of Christendom ride to battle into the alps and a pitied legitimized bastard amassed a rebellion. Three Emperors are slaughtered in battle, the last a craven hunchback - all falls, the great works fall to ruin and the house of 500 hundred members falls to 14 in one decade.

Hoi4 games start good but in the end I end up having delusional aneurisms and all my work goes to waste

[Bralia]

HE HAS 38 PROVINCES. 38 PROVINCES!!! I COUNTED THIS SHIT MANUALLY AND IT PAID OFF BECAUSE BOY, I'M FUCKING MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. THIS COMPLETE SHITHEAD LOST JUST ENOUGH TERRITORY JUST OUTSIDE OF MY AUTOSAVES PERIOD TO RUIN THIS ENTIRE THING.

[The Imperial Reach]

HE HAS 38 PROVINCES. 38 PROVINCES!!! I COUNTED THIS SHIT MANUALLY AND IT PAID OFF BECAUSE BOY, I'M FUCKING MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. THIS COMPLETE SHITHEAD LOST JUST ENOUGH TERRITORY JUST OUTSIDE OF MY AUTOSAVES PERIOD TO RUIN THIS ENTIRE THING.

*laughs in Byzantine*

[Bralia]

For a change, I decided to re-title the thread off of something I read on Wikipedia. It's absolutely wonderful and suits the style of our thread.

If you want to see this phrase at its source, check out the first line here.

[Renoa]

I finally got around to 1453 in my Lombard, Sardinia and Corsica, etc game, and I didn't get the Survivor achievement, presumably because the checksum fucked up at some point even though I played the whole time in ironman mode.

Ha ha ha kill me.

Anyway,
Political mapmode. Notice based nominally-Irish Britain and thiccboi Byzantium
Religion mapmode. Islam got its cheeks clapped and the only reason it still exists at all is that that Genghis decided to convert and soon as he arrived on the map
Culture mapmode. German got, uh, lots of lebensraum, including vacation homes in Ethiopia and Chad
Endgame screen, score, and list of rulers. Special attention goes to Saint Reccared and King Geraldo, who were my absolute favorite rulers
Rulers part 2. King Silvestro and Emperor Antonio were also pretty amazing.

[The Imperial Reach]

I finally got around to 1453 in my Lombard, Sardinia and Corsica, etc game, and I didn't get the Survivor achievement, presumably because the checksum fucked up at some point even though I played the whole time in ironman mode.

Ha ha ha kill me.

Anyway,
Political mapmode. Notice based nominally-Irish Britain and thiccboi Byzantium
Religion mapmode. Islam got its cheeks clapped and the only reason it still exists at all is that that Genghis decided to convert and soon as he arrived on the map
Culture mapmode. German got, uh, lots of lebensraum, including vacation homes in Ethiopia and Chad
Endgame screen, score, and list of rulers. Special attention goes to Saint Reccared and King Geraldo, who were my absolute favorite rulers
Rulers part 2. King Silvestro and Emperor Antonio were also pretty amazing.

Blessed Post.

[The Huskar Social Union]

I finally got around to 1453 in my Lombard, Sardinia and Corsica, etc game, and I didn't get the Survivor achievement, presumably because the checksum fucked up at some point even though I played the whole time in ironman mode.

Ha ha ha kill me.

Anyway,
Political mapmode. Notice based nominally-Irish Britain and thiccboi Byzantium
Religion mapmode. Islam got its cheeks clapped and the only reason it still exists at all is that that Genghis decided to convert and soon as he arrived on the map
Culture mapmode. German got, uh, lots of lebensraum, including vacation homes in Ethiopia and Chad
Endgame screen, score, and list of rulers. Special attention goes to Saint Reccared and King Geraldo, who were my absolute favorite rulers
Rulers part 2. King Silvestro and Emperor Antonio were also pretty amazing.

GG, Verily