PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[The Huskar Social Union]

Tfw your own wife kidnaps you for no reason and makes you pay 250 gold to leave.

and then does it again a few years later

She must be amazing in bed to be able to get away with this, especially more than once. If it keeps happening and it proves to be more than just an inconvenience, her skull is going to end up sitting on my mantle.

If you wont give her money to buy things she is gona resort to desperate measures.

[The Huskar Social Union]

HOI4, according to its facebook page, is gona add in a new achievement called "Finnish Him" in the next major update. You must play as Finland, dont join any factions, and completely conquer the USSR

[The Imperial Reach]

Tfw your own wife kidnaps you for no reason and makes you pay 250 gold to leave.

and then does it again a few years later

She must be amazing in bed to be able to get away with this, especially more than once. If it keeps happening and it proves to be more than just an inconvenience, her skull is going to end up sitting on my mantle.

Considering she's gay she clearly just wants you out of the house so she can have lez parties.

[Serrus]

HOI4, according to its facebook page, is gona add in a new achievement called "Finnish Him" in the next major update. You must play as Finland, dont join any factions, and completely conquer the USSR

Hmm...How ridiculous this is depends on the achievement logic.

[Bralia]

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

[Lunas Legion]

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Why is Haesteinn now a verb what does it mean Bralia

[Valrifell]

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Why don't you have Miklagard?!

[Serrus]

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Can I have a guide for properly invading?

[Purpelia]

I just hate CK2 right now. Am stuck being unable to do anything as all my vassals are malcontents and I can't change my council because all the candidates are malcontents as well. Like what the hell? Is there literally nobody in my realm that likes me?

[Abserdia]

I just hate CK2 right now. Am stuck being unable to do anything as all my vassals are malcontents and I can't change my council because all the candidates are malcontents as well. Like what the hell? Is there literally nobody in my realm that likes me?

Have you considered the oubliette?

[The Imperial Reach]

I just hate CK2 right now. Am stuck being unable to do anything as all my vassals are malcontents and I can't change my council because all the candidates are malcontents as well. Like what the hell? Is there literally nobody in my realm that likes me?

This is the part where you turn into a psychotic tyrant whose reign is defined by frequent rebellions, assassinations, and executions.

If they won't love you, you have to make them fear you.

[Bralia]

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Why is Haesteinn now a verb what does it mean Bralia

Hard to translate into English. Just play as Haesteinn and you will understand when you travel halfway across the map and go full berserk for any dumb title you want.

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Why don't you have Miklagard?!

I wanted the Kingdom of Greece, Constantinople is in the Kingdom of Thrace. I might go for Thrace eventually, my only real goal is to play in the region without having to deal with Byzantine bullshit.

I Haesteinned the Byzantine emperor. I drove him to lunacy, to extraordinary debt, and I'll take credit for inflicting the pox upon him. And here I was tense the whole time, my territory in Brittany constantly threatened by stacks of assault troopers.

Can I have a guide for properly invading?

I've literally only done it twice now as the same character, so my experience is limited: There are some requirements, like having 1000 prestige, being a very small nation, etc. and Haesteinn starts with all of them fulfilled. Haesteinn is especially perfect for invasions due to his high martial ability, the higher your martial, the more people will join you in your invasion. There isn't much more to it than identifying where you want to play in the world and picking a kingdom title you want. There are some restrictions, though, the kingdom title can't be too small NOR can it be too big (couldn't take Andalusia last time I played). You should also identify which provinces you want for your demesne, you'll want to make sure to siege down those provinces entirely and in particular so you'll acquire those provinces directly.

After the war's over, depending on the strength of your new home base you can just start going around punching for even more land like I did in my Portuguese invasion not too long ago, I completely ignored the truce-breaking maluses and set up a realm that couldn't be stopped. Alternatively, if you're in a hot zone like the middle east, it might be wise to submit and assimilate into an empire in the region and you can just play as a vassal king in the area where there perhaps wasn't one before. That was actually the original plan for my current game, but then I remembered that Byzantine laws are hell.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Hearts of Iron IV Producer Is Being Deported Over Former Employer's Error

HOI4 dev team member is set to be deported as her last employer didnt pay fees for social security and pension during a trial period so her work permit renewal was denied. Paradox has hired a lawyer to appeal the decision so hope it goes well for her.

[Grenartia]

Hearts of Iron IV Producer Is Being Deported Over Former Employer's Error

HOI4 dev team member is set to be deported as her last employer didnt pay fees for social security and pension during a trial period so her work permit renewal was denied. Paradox has hired a lawyer to appeal the decision so hope it goes well for her.

Good on PDX.

[Serrus]

Can I have a guide for properly invading?

I've literally only done it twice now as the same character, so my experience is limited: There are some requirements, like having 1000 prestige, being a very small nation, etc. and Haesteinn starts with all of them fulfilled. Haesteinn is especially perfect for invasions due to his high martial ability, the higher your martial, the more people will join you in your invasion. There isn't much more to it than identifying where you want to play in the world and picking a kingdom title you want. There are some restrictions, though, the kingdom title can't be too small NOR can it be too big (couldn't take Andalusia last time I played). You should also identify which provinces you want for your demesne, you'll want to make sure to siege down those provinces entirely and in particular so you'll acquire those provinces directly.

After the war's over, depending on the strength of your new home base you can just start going around punching for even more land like I did in my Portuguese invasion not too long ago, I completely ignored the truce-breaking maluses and set up a realm that couldn't be stopped. Alternatively, if you're in a hot zone like the middle east, it might be wise to submit and assimilate into an empire in the region and you can just play as a vassal king in the area where there perhaps wasn't one before. That was actually the original plan for my current game, but then I remembered that Byzantine laws are hell.

I meant specifically how did you invade the Byzantines successfully.

[Bralia]

I've literally only done it twice now as the same character, so my experience is limited: There are some requirements, like having 1000 prestige, being a very small nation, etc. and Haesteinn starts with all of them fulfilled. Haesteinn is especially perfect for invasions due to his high martial ability, the higher your martial, the more people will join you in your invasion. There isn't much more to it than identifying where you want to play in the world and picking a kingdom title you want. There are some restrictions, though, the kingdom title can't be too small NOR can it be too big (couldn't take Andalusia last time I played). You should also identify which provinces you want for your demesne, you'll want to make sure to siege down those provinces entirely and in particular so you'll acquire those provinces directly.

After the war's over, depending on the strength of your new home base you can just start going around punching for even more land like I did in my Portuguese invasion not too long ago, I completely ignored the truce-breaking maluses and set up a realm that couldn't be stopped. Alternatively, if you're in a hot zone like the middle east, it might be wise to submit and assimilate into an empire in the region and you can just play as a vassal king in the area where there perhaps wasn't one before. That was actually the original plan for my current game, but then I remembered that Byzantine laws are hell.

I meant specifically how did you invade the Byzantines successfully.

~10K troops is precisely enough to handle the Byzantine Empire in 867. You just can't afford lose a battle. I did have to reload once because of that. Otherwise, there's a decent amount of shipping back and forth between sieging Greece and relieving Brittany, but it's pretty easy to handle if you've got a good idea of what you can get away with considering travel time.

Don't even worry if/when Georgia, Bulgaria, or Epirus join against you, they don't merge all of their troops together, making them easy enough to handle separately.

[Bralia]

Just one of those moments when I've spent so much time staying in my corner of the map that, when I look up, I see an absolutely monster that wasn't there before.

This game has been quite unusual, Catholicism is dying, but they actually survived much longer than usual for an early start, leading to an actual successful abomination crusade.

And the Byzantine Empire has been uncharacteristically relatively stable to the point that they've actually had the opportunity to be expansionist. I guess the loss of Greece effectively reduced the amount of powerful vassals that would normally get mad and cripple the Emperor. This has proven to make for quite the exciting game, the Byzantines and I have been pretty much evenly matched all game, I've required mercs and/or allies every single time.

[Renoa]

Ya'll ever accidentally an empire before?

I noticed one of my fellow HRE vassals created a faction to install me as the HREmperor. I joined it for shits and giggles, not expecting the guy to actually press the issue, even more not expecting him to actually succeed.

So yeah, now instead of gently puttering along for the last few years until the endgame, I now have to sort this clusterfuckian nightmare of a realm that encompasses almost everything between Amsterdam and the Urals.

[Impaled Nazarene]

Just one of those moments when I've spent so much time staying in my corner of the map that, when I look up, I see an absolutely monster that wasn't there before.

This game has been quite unusual, Catholicism is dying, but they actually survived much longer than usual for an early start, leading to an actual successful abomination crusade.

And the Byzantine Empire has been uncharacteristically relatively stable to the point that they've actually had the opportunity to be expansionist. I guess the loss of Greece effectively reduced the amount of powerful vassals that would normally get mad and cripple the Emperor. This has proven to make for quite the exciting game, the Byzantines and I have been pretty much evenly matched all game, I've required mercs and/or allies every single time.

Fact: If you try expanding into Byzantium they will magically suffer 0 civil wars and their emperors will all reign for decades.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Just one of those moments when I've spent so much time staying in my corner of the map that, when I look up, I see an absolutely monster that wasn't there before.

This game has been quite unusual, Catholicism is dying, but they actually survived much longer than usual for an early start, leading to an actual successful abomination crusade.

And the Byzantine Empire has been uncharacteristically relatively stable to the point that they've actually had the opportunity to be expansionist. I guess the loss of Greece effectively reduced the amount of powerful vassals that would normally get mad and cripple the Emperor. This has proven to make for quite the exciting game, the Byzantines and I have been pretty much evenly matched all game, I've required mercs and/or allies every single time.

Fact: If you try expanding into Byzantium they will magically suffer 0 civil wars and their emperors will all reign for decades.

Only Byzantine Vassals are allowed to attack the Emperor. No one else.

[Renoa]

A few months into me being Emperor, literally all of my king level vassals declared an independence war against me, once again proving that no one except me should ever be allowed to own land, and those who are given land anyway and subsequently use it against me should be forced to eat their own intestines, or suffer some even worse fate if that doesn't seem like it would be satisfying enough to watch.

I just wanted to be king of Italy, man, Is that so much to ask?

[Genivaria]

HOI4, according to its facebook page, is gona add in a new achievement called "Finnish Him" in the next major update. You must play as Finland, dont join any factions, and completely conquer the USSR

This is true glory!

[Bralia]

"Sunda is now the home of the Sundanese people" in this new EUIV Dev Diary.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Great HOI4 timelapse i found showing size of pockets, major cities being captured/liberated and the overall amount of casualties.

[Valrifell]

A few months into me being Emperor, literally all of my king level vassals declared an independence war against me, once again proving that no one except me should ever be allowed to own land, and those who are given land anyway and subsequently use it against me should be forced to eat their own intestines, or suffer some even worse fate if that doesn't seem like it would be satisfying enough to watch.

I just wanted to be king of Italy, man, Is that so much to ask?

CK3 needs to add a dynamic torture system in a similar vein to their current religion rework.