PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[The Huskar Social Union]

Burning my way through these Ruler Challenges, actually pretty fun. Just finished up Louis the Stammerer's and got gold in all three.

[Renoa]

The fact that it's seen as tyrannical to execute vassals who rebel against you, especially when it's your stupid fat cunt of an uncle who wants to steal your land, is a grave injustice. This guy was perfectly willing to kill me to take my stuff, but now that he's sitting in the oubliette saying, " sowwy I pwomise not to do it again ," it's somehow unreasonable to want to rip his intestines out and skip rope with them.

You see kids, this is why the concept of war crimes is overrated.

[The Imperial Reach]

The fact that it's seen as tyrannical to execute vassals who rebel against you, especially when it's your stupid fat cunt of an uncle who wants to steal your land, is a grave injustice. This guy was perfectly willing to kill me to take my stuff, but now that he's sitting in the oubliette saying, " sowwy I pwomise not to do it again ," it's somehow unreasonable to want to rip his intestines out and skip rope with them.

You see kids, this is why the concept of war crimes is overrated.

Excommunication makes it easy.

[Danubian Peoples]

I am getting really suspish about my Sardinia game. I've seen my rulers, their spouses, their courtiers, their vassals, just characters in general come down with an, above average amount of Syphilis cases. I'm worried about Satanists running tainted touching everyone I know and even those I don't love.

[North German Realm]

The fact that it's seen as tyrannical to execute vassals who rebel against you, especially when it's your stupid fat cunt of an uncle who wants to steal your land, is a grave injustice. This guy was perfectly willing to kill me to take my stuff, but now that he's sitting in the oubliette saying, " sowwy I pwomise not to do it again ," it's somehow unreasonable to want to rip his intestines out and skip rope with them.

You see kids, this is why the concept of war crimes is overrated.

Just risk the tyranny lol. Kill the guy and just don't do anything stupid for 10 years and it'll go away. Besides, isn't leaving a 16 years old guy in dungeons for the entirety of his life until he finally dies better than killing him?

[Lioniel]

I hope I didn't say anything too stupid or embarrassing in the OP, I haven't read it back since I created it.

Emperor of the world is dead so as its fanfork ( the former cannot be found in the workshop , the latter's last update is 19 Mar, 2019)
New world order hasn't been updated since 23 Mar, 2018 from the workshop so it's safe to call it a dead mod
The Enhanced Peace conference AI hasn't been updated for a while (last update from the workshop is from 11 Mar, 2019)

[Danubian Peoples]

Hmmm

It is official, the nerds have declared war on China.
Okay seriosuly, it is just, 'gentlemen scholars.' I can't get the image of Confucian scholars going 'm'lady' because of that line. Thanks a lot PDX.

EDIT: Any suggestions for CK2 Muslim playthroughs? I'm getting bored of games where my end goal is just 'put Christianity X in Location Y for funsies' like Miaphysites in Pakistan, or Eastern Orthodox in North Africa. Seapking of the latter, that's what I did in my Maghreb game, and it is also that game in which i discovered the power of abolished council power. So anyway, i just want to play as the 'guys who are usually on the receiving end of my deathstacks' for once. So, any suggestions? Thinking of going with the Ziyadids again, or setting up a pirate Berber MR.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Hmmm

It is official, the nerds have declared war on China.
Okay seriosuly, it is just, 'gentlemen scholars.' I can't get the image of Confucian scholars going 'm'lady' because of that line. Thanks a lot PDX.

EDIT: Any suggestions for CK2 Muslim playthroughs? I'm getting bored of games where my end goal is just 'put Christianity X in Location Y for funsies' like Miaphysites in Pakistan, or Eastern Orthodox in North Africa. Seapking of the latter, that's what I did in my Maghreb game, and it is also that game in which i discovered the power of abolished council power. So anyway, i just want to play as the 'guys who are usually on the receiving end of my deathstacks' for once. So, any suggestions? Thinking of going with the Ziyadids again, or setting up a pirate Berber MR.

Sicilian Berbers are great. You just visit the republics every few years for huge cash inflows.

[North German Realm]

Hmmm

It is official, the nerds have declared war on China.
Okay seriosuly, it is just, 'gentlemen scholars.' I can't get the image of Confucian scholars going 'm'lady' because of that line. Thanks a lot PDX.

EDIT: Any suggestions for CK2 Muslim playthroughs? I'm getting bored of games where my end goal is just 'put Christianity X in Location Y for funsies' like Miaphysites in Pakistan, or Eastern Orthodox in North Africa. Seapking of the latter, that's what I did in my Maghreb game, and it is also that game in which i discovered the power of abolished council power. So anyway, i just want to play as the 'guys who are usually on the receiving end of my deathstacks' for once. So, any suggestions? Thinking of going with the Ziyadids again, or setting up a pirate Berber MR.

Sicilian Berbers are great. You just visit the republics every few years for huge cash inflows.

Annual visits to Republics (Venice and Genoa being my favorite targets) is a major aspect of any raider playthrough. At some point (if you're playing Viking) you just up and conquer some island in the area to make things easier lmao

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Sicilian Berbers are great. You just visit the republics every few years for huge cash inflows.

Annual visits to Republics (Venice and Genoa being my favorite targets) is a major aspect of any raider playthrough. At some point (if you're playing Viking) you just up and conquer some island in the area to make things easier lmao

Which is why you should just start as Sicilian Berbers

[North German Realm]

Annual visits to Republics (Venice and Genoa being my favorite targets) is a major aspect of any raider playthrough. At some point (if you're playing Viking) you just up and conquer some island in the area to make things easier lmao

Which is why you should just start as Sicilian Berbers

But I can go into rivers if I play Germanic... Clearly, the solution is Germanic Berbers.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Which is why you should just start as Sicilian Berbers

But I can go into rivers if I play Germanic... Clearly, the solution is Germanic Berbers.

*Eyes light up*

Yeeeesss...

[The Imperial Reach]

Anybody else get bored of just conquering things at random with no real goal in mind other than world domination?

Maybe it's just me, but if I'm going to unite Ireland I'll avoid taking any provinces anywhere else until I've united Ireland - then I'll take over Scotland or Wales, and then England. Like, get all of de jure [ X Kingdom ] first before moving on to a new target rather than just expanding wherever I please.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Anybody else get bored of just conquering things at random with no real goal in mind other than world domination?

Maybe it's just me, but if I'm going to unite Ireland I'll avoid taking any provinces anywhere else until I've united Ireland - then I'll take over Scotland or Wales, and then England. Like, get all of de jure [ X Kingdom ] first before moving on to a new target rather than just expanding wherever I please.

I rarely ever try to do world conquest. I typically set myself certain goals to achieve on a playthrough and then finish once i reach them, or i just play till i get bored and try something different.

[The Imperial Reach]

My Spymaster just asked me to help him with new methods to improve security so I gave him a paltry bit of gold and sent him on his way expecting him to come to me with a guard dog like they usually do.

Turns out his brilliant idea was to cover the floors in soap so they'd be too slippery for intruders. I literally LOL'd when I read that.

[Ism]

Tried to get back into Stellaris, but not going great. I was playing a standard machine empire, and the first empire I meet, after the Keepers of Knowledge, is fanatic materialist/xenophile, and they start with a positive opinion of me. Naturally, they're immediately unfriendly and close their borders. This alone wouldn't be too bad, all I have to do is wait for that stupid "new contact" modifier to go away and they might reconsider. Then they declare rivalry. If they weren't literally on my doorstep, and the whole thing wasn't so ridiculous, I probably would have just powered through it, but I guess I just have a low bullshit threshold.when it comes to this game. I'll give it another go but I'm not really hopeful.

[Bralia]

Tried to get back into Stellaris, but not going great. I was playing a standard machine empire, and the first empire I meet, after the Keepers of Knowledge, is fanatic materialist/xenophile, and they start with a positive opinion of me. Naturally, they're immediately unfriendly and close their borders. This alone wouldn't be too bad, all I have to do is wait for that stupid "new contact" modifier to go away and they might reconsider. Then they declare rivalry. If they weren't literally on my doorstep, and the whole thing wasn't so ridiculous, I probably would have just powered through it, but I guess I just have a low bullshit threshold.when it comes to this game. I'll give it another go but I'm not really hopeful.

I recommend waiting 9 days before getting back into the game. Things are going to be changing fairly dramatically, soon enough.

That being said, I completely agree with that being nonsense. I had almost the EXACT situation you did once upon a time, except I was playing a normal organic Fanatic Materialist + Egalitarian game. In addition to the other empire being Fan-Mat/Philia, they had no other knowledge of ANY other empires in the galaxy. And yet, I got the exact same outcome as you.

[Bralia]

Because I was checking up old screenshots to double-check things, I stumbled upon something funny that I'd forgot about. Was just designing an empire normally without thinking about the acronym I was making until I went to go fill in the prompt. Needless to say, I kept it.

[Ism]

Tried to get back into Stellaris, but not going great. I was playing a standard machine empire, and the first empire I meet, after the Keepers of Knowledge, is fanatic materialist/xenophile, and they start with a positive opinion of me. Naturally, they're immediately unfriendly and close their borders. This alone wouldn't be too bad, all I have to do is wait for that stupid "new contact" modifier to go away and they might reconsider. Then they declare rivalry. If they weren't literally on my doorstep, and the whole thing wasn't so ridiculous, I probably would have just powered through it, but I guess I just have a low bullshit threshold.when it comes to this game. I'll give it another go but I'm not really hopeful.

I recommend waiting 9 days before getting back into the game. Things are going to be changing fairly dramatically, soon enough.

That being said, I completely agree with that being nonsense. I had almost the EXACT situation you did once upon a time, except I was playing a normal organic Fanatic Materialist + Egalitarian game. In addition to the other empire being Fan-Mat/Philia, they had no other knowledge of ANY other empires in the galaxy. And yet, I got the exact same outcome as you.

That's actually why I was trying to get back into it now, so it'd still be familiar before they change the entire fucking game again update the game. And it's nice to know I don't suffer alone, thanks for that.

[Ism]

So, I started a new game, and I ran into the Thimoid High Kingdom, or as they should be called, space tsunderes. Let me tell you a little abut these fuckers. So, as you can see, they're Fanatic Authoritarian/Materialists. My empire, of course, is Fanatic Egalitarian/Spiritualist. Not a great first contact, but at least it made sense that they despised me. So, after some time of closed borders, but no rivalry for some reasons, all of the sudden they went from Unfriendly to Receptive, opened their borders and wanted a research agreement. Now I, being more comfortable with pacifistic playthroughs, jumped at the opportunity to befriend them. Boy was that a mistake. Not a week after the research agreement went into affect, they switched back to Unfriendly, canceled the agreement, shut their borders, and then declared me their rival. This fucking game.

[Danubian Peoples]

But I can go into rivers if I play Germanic... Clearly, the solution is Germanic Berbers.

*Eyes light up*

Yeeeesss...

Perhaps African Berbers could be cool. You can reform the religion and use the 'sea-bound' option I believe, and your holy sites aren't on the other side of Europe. And since they're the only tribals in Africa with some weight to throw around (all the others are assorted Muslims in Morocco and the Miaphystie randoms next to Ethiopia), I'm pretty sure you could try to form a merchant republic.

[North German Realm]

Planning on starting a "North Seas Empire" run. Unite Denmark, Prussia, Coastal Pomerania, Norway, Frisia and England under the rule of a custom dynasty in 867 that rules Scania. Reformed Germanic Pagan, of course.

[Danubian Peoples]

How to keep this from happening]
Hey, just a heads-up. Since I am planning to play Muslim, how do I stave off megablob HREs like this one in my Maghreb game? I had disabled defensive pacts for convenience's sake when I started, I think that is why the HRE got so big. Do I just stomach defensive pacts? Do I play in 769 in let Europe descend into gavelkind-fueled bordgergore?

[Renoa]

Time for an update on my Lombard "Iron Crown" achivement run game!

This is my current character. He's nothing special, but he hasn't me any titles or limbs yet so I guess he's good enough. He's the great grandson of the Saint Gregorius I posted a while back, should you remember him.
Realm map. Peep the thiccboi crusader kingdoms of Egypt and Jerusalem.
Religion map. Catholicism has kicked ass and taken names. It's hard too see, but most of the Orthodox lands in Russia are held by Catholic rulers from either the HRE or various Cuman nomads. Mazdan religions have made a bit of a comeback in Persia as Islam keeps getting punched in the mouth.
Culture club map. Other than Anglo-Saxon mostly resisting English proliferation I don't think anything is too special.

Notable realms:
Anglo-Saxon empire of Britannia. Due to William the Conqueror's sons being a bunch of smoothbrains, the de Gael dynasty, which converted to Anglo-Saxon culture at some point in the past, usurped England and then went on the warpath from there. William's direct bloodline went extinct long ago.
Andalucian-cultured Catholic Crusader kingdom of Badajoz. The British de Gaels installed this guy's grandpappy in a crusade and he instantly adopted Andalucian culture. He almost single-handedly kicked the Muslims out of Iberia from there. Sultan Abu is second in line to the British throne and first in line is a sickly 5 year old, so if something happens Britain better start learning to speak Arabic.
Hungarian Crusader kingdom of Jerusalem. This one is a result of a successful Children's crusade by a kid from the Arpad dynasty, which I largely bankrolled. I didn't actually expect them to succeed and didn't pay attention until I got the popup that they won. This kingdom has weathered a few jihads, and even went on the offensive to take Mecca and Medina, which you might imagine the Muslims are none too pleased about.

[Danubian Peoples]

I'm really going to need that defensive pact question answered.. the HRE in my Maghreb game has come down on me with an embargo war and I did not like it one bit. Sure I did not lose all that much but I saw first hand multiple 20K stacks in Sardinia. Are there mods that make defensive pacts useful in a sense? Marriage alliances have failed in my game due to the enormous 'political concerns' bulls***. Like, there's this fucking HRE, Byzantium, aren't you going to do something other than stand there? And it does not help that the HRE's government is extremely conducive to realm stability. The elective system they use produces next to no civil wars by the looks of it, very different from the Byzantine house fire southeast, and for some reason anyone on the throne is guaranteed to be popular as fuck. This what I am concerened about since I am gonna be playing as a Muslim. I do not want an empire stretching from Spain to Hungary crusading my saracen ass. Please help. Should I just swallow the defensive pact pill and pray to Allah that it'll be enough to hold down the Christians? I mean even if I'm trying to knock them down pegs, by seizing their holy sites, unlanding the pope, beating them to Jerusalem they still find a way to be so absurdly powerful. I think Catholicism needs a nerf. Any mods on Steam that do that?Oh and a pic of the thing Voltaire has nightmares about.