PDX Games IX: Western Pre-Turkic Empire

[Impaled Nazarene]

So what is the verdict on la resistance?

Too expensive to buy.

[The Huskar Social Union]

I think im getting a bit carried away with this ruler challenge. But i cant figure out the last two counties it wants me to capture so fuck it, i shall conquer all the lands.

So what is the verdict on la resistance?

Too expensive to buy.

So what is the verdict on la resistance?

Is good.

Mixed Signals, yet not unsurprising signals from the responders.

[Renoa]

Hungarian Catholic Mecca, just like the history books said.

[The Imperial Reach]

This Tanukh game is taking a really interesting and unprecedented turn.

So it started off simple enough, I am but a wee Monothelite Levantine Count in Beirut. I figured I probably wouldn't last long but I guess fortune was bored and wanted to see what would happen if they just didn't try to fuck me over early on. I was only a few years into the game before the Caliph handed me the Duchy of Galilee out of nowhere. He didn't even like me, which just made this random act of kindness all the more confusing. Unfortunately it came with the drawback of having two Muslim vassals, one of which had two counties. Surprise, surprise the little asshat had the balls to demand he be the new Emir. Naturally I told him to piss off and as luck would have it I managed to secure an alliance with the Kingdom of Georgia, which was a regional powerhouse at the time and helped me immensely in that little scuffle. I was then able to revoke the counties and convert my other vassal to Monothelitism. Fortune seemed to stick with me even longer and decided to ensure said converted vassal had no sons; only daughters. Naturally I married one of these girls to my heir, unfortunately she was disqualified from inheritance for being a bastard despite being older. I figured the county wouldn't fall into my hands but, somehow, God must've really been on my side for the beginning of this game because as luck would have it the new Countess never took a husband - allowing me to assassinate her sister and marry her to my heir instead.

All this luck is making me want to warm up a game of Fallout: New Vegas to try my hand at the tables...

Anyway, after that I started conquering bits of my neighboring Emir(s) in order to get as much of Jerusalem as possible which wasn't easy because the Caliphs kept trying to revoke my titles because I wouldn't let them turn my kids into Muslims. Luckily they were too dumb to shift the revocation law to "Religious" so it always came up as "Tyranny" which drove their other vassals right into my arms. Byzantium - which has been experiencing a rather odd trend of stability this game - was also exploiting the frequent chaos to wreck their shit, too. More vassals started rebelling with some even going fully independent, weakening Abbasid power substantially while the Byzantines kept seizing duchies and the Georgians kept repelling invasions. By the time the Abbasids finally figured out what the "Revocation: Religious" law does, I had already taken all of Jerusalem and crown myself Sultan. Once a rebellion kicked off I gave the Caliph an ultimatum: let me go free or I rebel too. He refused, but was so preoccupied by the Rebels and a Byzantine invasion I didn't even have to do much. Once I was free I began investing in my realm's defenses - both martial and medical - because for some reason diseases were popping up unusually frequent and I was getting tired of having to go into seclusion every 16 months.

Since then I've maintained my de jure borders more or less. Converted to Orthodoxy to ensure better cooperation with Byzantium, who are no an unstoppable juggernaut that is wrecking everybody's shit. Built up my hospitals so now disease doesn't hit me as hard. Built up my holdings and changed a few levy laws so I get enough troops to repel all invaders. I've beaten back about 4 Sunni Jihads and even a Shia Jihad, as well as two Egyptian invasions and about 4-5 Syrian invasions. NGL, I was almost toast on the Third Sunni Jihad. But Byzantium came in and saved my ass just in the nick of time.

Seriously, Byzantium is fucking unstoppable. They're wrecking Muslims and Pagans left and right without even breaking a sweat. It's incredible. I've never seen the Byzantine A.I. maintain stability long enough to begin turning the tide on their enemies all by themselves. It's mesmerizing.

[Washington Resistance Army]

So what is the verdict on la resistance?

It's worth about $5 max.

[Danubian Peoples]

This Tanukh game is taking a really interesting and unprecedented turn.

So it started off simple enough, I am but a wee Monothelite Levantine Count in Beirut. I figured I probably wouldn't last long but I guess fortune was bored and wanted to see what would happen if they just didn't try to fuck me over early on. I was only a few years into the game before the Caliph handed me the Duchy of Galilee out of nowhere. He didn't even like me, which just made this random act of kindness all the more confusing. Unfortunately it came with the drawback of having two Muslim vassals, one of which had two counties. Surprise, surprise the little asshat had the balls to demand he be the new Emir. Naturally I told him to piss off and as luck would have it I managed to secure an alliance with the Kingdom of Georgia, which was a regional powerhouse at the time and helped me immensely in that little scuffle. I was then able to revoke the counties and convert my other vassal to Monothelitism. Fortune seemed to stick with me even longer and decided to ensure said converted vassal had no sons; only daughters. Naturally I married one of these girls to my heir, unfortunately she was disqualified from inheritance for being a bastard despite being older. I figured the county wouldn't fall into my hands but, somehow, God must've really been on my side for the beginning of this game because as luck would have it the new Countess never took a husband - allowing me to assassinate her sister and marry her to my heir instead.

All this luck is making me want to warm up a game of Fallout: New Vegas to try my hand at the tables...

Anyway, after that I started conquering bits of my neighboring Emir(s) in order to get as much of Jerusalem as possible which wasn't easy because the Caliphs kept trying to revoke my titles because I wouldn't let them turn my kids into Muslims. Luckily they were too dumb to shift the revocation law to "Religious" so it always came up as "Tyranny" which drove their other vassals right into my arms. Byzantium - which has been experiencing a rather odd trend of stability this game - was also exploiting the frequent chaos to wreck their shit, too. More vassals started rebelling with some even going fully independent, weakening Abbasid power substantially while the Byzantines kept seizing duchies and the Georgians kept repelling invasions. By the time the Abbasids finally figured out what the "Revocation: Religious" law does, I had already taken all of Jerusalem and crown myself Sultan. Once a rebellion kicked off I gave the Caliph an ultimatum: let me go free or I rebel too. He refused, but was so preoccupied by the Rebels and a Byzantine invasion I didn't even have to do much. Once I was free I began investing in my realm's defenses - both martial and medical - because for some reason diseases were popping up unusually frequent and I was getting tired of having to go into seclusion every 16 months.

Since then I've maintained my de jure borders more or less. Converted to Orthodoxy to ensure better cooperation with Byzantium, who are no an unstoppable juggernaut that is wrecking everybody's shit. Built up my hospitals so now disease doesn't hit me as hard. Built up my holdings and changed a few levy laws so I get enough troops to repel all invaders. I've beaten back about 4 Sunni Jihads and even a Shia Jihad, as well as two Egyptian invasions and about 4-5 Syrian invasions. NGL, I was almost toast on the Third Sunni Jihad. But Byzantium came in and saved my ass just in the nick of time.

Seriously, Byzantium is fucking unstoppable. They're wrecking Muslims and Pagans left and right without even breaking a sweat. It's incredible. I've never seen the Byzantine A.I. maintain stability long enough to begin turning the tide on their enemies all by themselves. It's mesmerizing.

Well isn't that a story! Although I would like some screenshots as always, of your character, his realm, and the world around him. I'm assuming you've yet to get tolerance tech to the point where him can be her and vice versa with ease. And while I do have my quaims about abandoning your heresy (that's always been part of the fun of these runs for me), it is still a smart move, as a resurgent Rome is never something to get bad blood with. Also, nice work with the Georgia alliance. While that isn't very significant I don't really bother with that side of the game, as it is frequently more useful to wrangle good genetics and bloodlines with my marriages than it is securing alliances. So what if I don't get a claim on a kingdom? Alexander can take care of that. At least IMO. You do you, since you've probably known this game for far longer than I have.

[North German Realm]

Am I just the only one who gets bored of a dynasty around the year 1000-1100 in CK2? I mean, sure the actual fun stuff (the Black Death, Aztec Invasion, Mongol Invasion, Northern Crusades, etc.) aren't really even there yet, but given world conquest just doesn't entice me, what's there to do? (And yes, this is the fourth time I've given up on a dynasty between 1030-1250 in the last 3 days)

[Bralia]

This Dev Diary was clearly funded and built by Pericles, thoroughly bankrupting Paradox in the process. At least the DD is majestic and large.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

So turns out, if you are at war with someone you were trying to sway, you can try and use this to reach out to them about not using underhanded tactics during the conflict,and if you have a high enough diplomacy even try and reach an armistice with them?


I never knew that, fuck you really do learn something new every day.

Geneva conventions when?

With all those youtubers putting 'I COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN X' you'd think they would have been implemented by now.

[The Imperial Reach]

I think I jinxed the Byzantines. Right after I wrote how kickass they were I loaded up my game and suddenly, out of nowhere, they just imploded. No idea what happened but they lost about 70% of their territory as most of their vassals are now independent. They're still a major power, but before they were rocking a 50k man army and now it's a mere 20k. They've pretty much lost everything except most of Greece and Anatolia, with a few exceptions.

Guess I need to expand now or risk getting overwhelmed by warmongering Sunnis. Can't rely on Byzantine protection anymore.

[Dome Artan]

I think I jinxed the Byzantines. Right after I wrote how kickass they were I loaded up my game and suddenly, out of nowhere, they just imploded. No idea what happened but they lost about 70% of their territory as most of their vassals are now independent. They're still a major power, but before they were rocking a 50k man army and now it's a mere 20k. They've pretty much lost everything except most of Greece and Anatolia, with a few exceptions.

Guess I need to expand now or risk getting overwhelmed by warmongering Sunnis. Can't rely on Byzantine protection anymore.

Oh man and I was just about to comment how happy I was to hear of a strong AI Byzantium.

In other news I love nomadic cavalry.

[Danubian Peoples]

I think I jinxed the Byzantines. Right after I wrote how kickass they were I loaded up my game and suddenly, out of nowhere, they just imploded. No idea what happened but they lost about 70% of their territory as most of their vassals are now independent. They're still a major power, but before they were rocking a 50k man army and now it's a mere 20k. They've pretty much lost everything except most of Greece and Anatolia, with a few exceptions.

Guess I need to expand now or risk getting overwhelmed by warmongering Sunnis. Can't rely on Byzantine protection anymore.

There are a couple'o ways that could have happened. Some nomads might've strolled in and taken over Byzantium, like Balanjar did in my Bashmur game. Perhaps an independence revolt fired and declared victory over the emperor, anything really. Also my condolences for the inevitable wars with Byzantine successor states and Muslim Jihad. At least you can make a ploy for the emperorship by strolling north into Anatolia and declaring the empire anew there.

[Bralia]

When the College of Cardinals declare their realm the Kingdom of God, they will no longer yeet themselves into an abyss.

Also, they'll be announcing the new expansion at 15:00 CET.

[Bralia]

L'Empereur is the name of the major EUIV DLC, here are its features.

Also, in a Paradox first, they're giving CK3 an in-game tutorial.

[Grenartia]

Honestly can't wait for Federations. But my wallet can.

[Ifreann]

Honestly can't wait for Federations. But my wallet can.

Money is transitory, videosgame are forever.

[Grenartia]

Honestly can't wait for Federations. But my wallet can.

Money is transitory, videosgame are forever.

So is death from starvation.

[North German Realm]

L'Empereur is the name of the major EUIV DLC, here are its features.

Also, in a Paradox first, they're giving CK3 an in-game tutorial.

I really like how the new GUI looks, but to be honest the old game wasn't that bad imo.

[The Imperial Reach]

I think I jinxed the Byzantines. Right after I wrote how kickass they were I loaded up my game and suddenly, out of nowhere, they just imploded. No idea what happened but they lost about 70% of their territory as most of their vassals are now independent. They're still a major power, but before they were rocking a 50k man army and now it's a mere 20k. They've pretty much lost everything except most of Greece and Anatolia, with a few exceptions.

Guess I need to expand now or risk getting overwhelmed by warmongering Sunnis. Can't rely on Byzantine protection anymore.

There are a couple'o ways that could have happened. Some nomads might've strolled in and taken over Byzantium, like Balanjar did in my Bashmur game. Perhaps an independence revolt fired and declared victory over the emperor, anything really. Also my condolences for the inevitable wars with Byzantine successor states and Muslim Jihad. At least you can make a ploy for the emperorship by strolling north into Anatolia and declaring the empire anew there.

Wasn't Nomads. My Uncle has been on the Byzantine throne for a while now. It might have been an Independence Revolt but I don't remember seeing anything happen before the empire just up and broke. I've definitely never seen a revolt break up a realm to such a degree. Only time I've seen anything remotely similar was when in my Russian game I took over China and had my daughter shatter the Empire of Bengal.

[North German Realm]

There are a couple'o ways that could have happened. Some nomads might've strolled in and taken over Byzantium, like Balanjar did in my Bashmur game. Perhaps an independence revolt fired and declared victory over the emperor, anything really. Also my condolences for the inevitable wars with Byzantine successor states and Muslim Jihad. At least you can make a ploy for the emperorship by strolling north into Anatolia and declaring the empire anew there.

Wasn't Nomads. My Uncle has been on the Byzantine throne for a while now. It might have been an Independence Revolt but I don't remember seeing anything happen before the empire just up and broke. I've definitely never seen a revolt break up a realm to such a degree. Only time I've seen anything remotely similar was when in my Russian game I took over China and had my daughter shatter the Empire of Bengal.

I'm not actually sure if it's possible for multiple independence revolts to trigger at the same time. Byzantine Empire probably is the only state that may see that happen to it in nearly any start of the game (the HRE is also a good candidate, as is Francia).

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Wasn't Nomads. My Uncle has been on the Byzantine throne for a while now. It might have been an Independence Revolt but I don't remember seeing anything happen before the empire just up and broke. I've definitely never seen a revolt break up a realm to such a degree. Only time I've seen anything remotely similar was when in my Russian game I took over China and had my daughter shatter the Empire of Bengal.

I'm not actually sure if it's possible for multiple independence revolts to trigger at the same time. Byzantine Empire probably is the only state that may see that happen to it in nearly any start of the game (the HRE is also a good candidate, as is Francia).

If there are multiple members to an independence faction, they will each get independence separately, so that's how it might have happened.

EDIT: The emperor might just have relinquished after the faction demanded independence.

[North German Realm]

I'm not actually sure if it's possible for multiple independence revolts to trigger at the same time. Byzantine Empire probably is the only state that may see that happen to it in nearly any start of the game (the HRE is also a good candidate, as is Francia).

If there are multiple members to an independence faction, they will each get independence separately, so that's how it might have happened.

EDIT: The emperor might just have relinquished after the faction demanded independence.

I know that. What I'm asking is if you can have two different factions asking for independence. Like, the second one forms during the first on's revolt or something.

[North German Realm]

Starting yet another 867 Scania run. I'm hoping that this time I can have three bloodlines with one character: Duelist, Sea King, Ambition (hoping to hit a 15 foreign wars bloodline, but idk yet). Won't get the Legend Bloodline until like, my 5th or 7th character so I can form my own bloodlines first.

[The Imperial Reach]

I'm really not sure that it was an independence revolt. I've never seen one give independent to so many vassals. Granted I'm sure my Uncle being a Levantine upset a lot of bigoted vassals and I'm sure a faction of such a size could definitely get away with getting independence, but it's still so baffling. I've never seen it happen before - ever. Weirdest part is how big Serbia is. They literally rule most of Italy & Romagna. What's even weirder is it's not even Serbia that directly owns that stuff, but their own vassal - Ragusa - that makes up probably 80% of their territory.

At any rate, I've been gobbling up parts of Syria while Byzantium continues to lose pieces of Anatolia. I'm worried Constantinople will soon fall and there isn't much I can do to actually stop it.

[Danubian Peoples]

Aw geez... Y'know what, these dev diaries for Screw Me 3 are really getting my hopes up. Screw Me 2 is already great at making you feel terrible, Screw Me 3 is going to up the ante insn't it?

In case it isn't obvious which game I'm talking about, I'm talking about Crusader Kings 2. And boy did I drop the ball last game. You don't need to know the specifics, just that I played, Iron Century Georgia and was having a nice time, only for a whack to the head, adventurers and Abbasids to f'ing penetrate me wherever. And that's not a sexual euphemism. Now the game is where it belongs, with me, in the garbage. Becasue only garbage people fail at something that bad. And the worst part is it wasn't even my fault. That's the stupidest darned thing about this game. Nothing is ever your fault. One day your fabricating claims for 7 or so years and the next you've RNG'd yourself Alexander's bloodline, rolled a nat20 on your eugenics program, and the local hostile blob has embroiled itself in civil war. CK2 feels, to be frank, out of control. I mean I got clobbered in the head so hard it gave me permanent brain damage in this one game-twice. Not to mention the brain-dead Byzantine AI going as limp as limp can get whenever the Abbasids come a knocking, but when I do the reverse, all of Persia comes pouring down. Not to mention the ludicrous amounts of raiders that come pouring out of the steppe. It is just stupid. There is at least 1 army of random Khazars seiging down my lands at any given time. And then of them come out of the mountains, while your head is sunken and then the Abbasids take Azerbajan. Maybe I should just clobber myself IRL too. And actually, no, that is not even the worst part. The worst part is this feels like I'm coming off as a whiny b***, and as such I'm just supposed to 'git gud.' Otherwise I'm being an entitled brat. Now I know that ain't true but it feels like this. Ranting about my less than favored experiences in games is cathartic, but it also feels kinda, humiliating I guess.

TL:DR, I'm the biggest retard in all the land.

I'd like to ask you guys how you keep yourselves sane playing PDX games. Many of them feel like 'tear-your-hair-out' experiences sometimes. And while that is one thing, another thing is doing awesome stuff. Conquering the map, getting an absurdly high number of something, surmounting challenges as dirt-poor playables, you know what I mean. Because right now I feel far from that ideal.