PDOX Games VIII: Communism Will Win

[Ifreann]

So my grandmother is dying and it could be anywhere from tonight to weeks from now, and I've been preparing for this for about 5 years so let me say this:

Love the people you love, make sure they know how much you appreciate them because no matter how many cliches you read throughout your life it still hurts when it happens.

She has passed away

If you wish to make a paradox tribute for her play a native american tribe from the northeast.

[Impaled Nazarene]

Thank you all.

[Serrus]

So I swooped in on the French over Toulouse, as I had before-- when those morons went to war over something stupid and didn't keep an eye on me (in this instance, Brittany). So I march right in and sit on Toulouse...and then 5K guys move in against my 3K, but they did a stupid. They went across a river. Into hills. Yeah, they got smashed. Two years later, while my army is doing the exact same thing, they move in again across the same river, into the same place, while still in the circumstances that led to the independence war in the first place! These Frenchies never learn, do they?
This was the end result. Toulouse also gave me a +6ish ducats, so I think I just castrated the French, metaphorically speaking.
And just in time for the Crusades, too! Perfect timing!
So with all that summed up, can I call my kingdom the Big Purple Blob?

[The Imperial Reach]

Recently started a play as Makuria. Formed Nubia quickly with a custom ruler, but I had switched the status for Aztecs, Mongols, and Plague from the standard 13th century I always have it at to random instead.

Holy fuck was that a mistake.

Aztecs popped up not even a hundred years after the game started and absolutely slaughtered Western, Southern, and Central Europe. Charlemagne never even got to take Saxony. When the Catholics finally got Crusades they launched two... against pagan Saxony. They won both, meanwhile the Aztecs took Rome. They now hold everything in Italia, Francia, and Hispania. They hold most of Britannia save for a few bits of Scotland and a united Kingdom of Ireland (dammit Huskar), and they also hold most of Germania and are expanding rapidly into Byzantium, Carpathia, and Scandinavia. Surprisingly they've left North Africa alone.

Mongols appeared sometime around 867, not sure exactly when but Temujin naturally walloped fucking everybody. The Mongols currently control most of Siberia, all of Central Asia, all of Persia (Empire), a good chunk of Tibet, Iraq, and are quickly expanding into Russia and India as we speak.

It was a little after 900 that the Black Death popped up and I was totally unprepared for it as I was only just starting to get a real income going so I had no time to upgrade all my hospitals. Lost a queen I was playing to it, but she was like 85 (!!!) so she was going to go soon anyway. I've completely conquered de jure Egypt by wrestling it from the Caliphate, though. I plan to form the Kingdom of Egypt, then switch to Coptic culture over time. Already formed the Order of Saint Anthony and gave the Bishopric of Alexandria to the Miaphysite Pope. It's been absolute fucking Hell trying to keep Monophysites in check, but I have a saintly bloodline now which is helping with that issue. Plus moral authority is at an all-time high with 60%. I've managed to keep Ethiopia alive and intact, too. Got lucky and had a "Religious Liberation" casus belli I got from the Abbasids but I used it to save Ethiopia from the Monophysites instead. Also my dynasty is on the throne of Ethiopia, which is a bit difficult as now I have to be careful they don't inherit any of my holdings by accident.

Of course the plague only recently ended so I'm still weak from that, and the Caliph is already trouble with his mighty 40k army - which doesn't even scratch the surface of the fuckmongusly large armies the Aztecs and Mongols have. Still, at least the Caliph is dumb. Dude launched his only Jihad (which succeeded, btw) against Catholic Africa and didn't even get the whole kingdom lmao. Meanwhile the Mongols are tearing him a new one. Unfortunately the Aztecs are also tearing the Byzantines a new one and they're the last large Christian realm outside of me and Ethiopia so... fun.

Aztecs to the left of me, Mongols to the right - here I am; stuck in the middle a Nub(ian).

Safe to say I'll be reverting those three settings back to the 13th century marks because, holy shit, all this before 1000? That's just way too much.

[Serrus]

So here's the results of the first crusade and a Fatimid Revolt. Not pictured: my nail of the true cross. Not bad, not great, but the Fatimids got wrecked.

[Cisairse]

Man it is really hard to get your vassals to elect a member of your own dynasty in Byzantium when you aren't their religion.

[Bralia]

I declare this thread to be a holy place, dedicated to the ancient Hellenic god, Eros. Only erotic things may now be spoken of in this thread.

[Purpelia]

Here is a thought that I got traveling home from work today. As far as I understand in HOI4 troops being cut off / surrounded is not a function of you literally having a wall of your troops / territory around them but of there not being a clear line from them to their capital for supplies to go through. So in theory if you were to surround a foreign capital but NOT actually capture it that would mean the capital is still the center of supply but no units have a line to it. And in theory that would render their entire military out of supply.

Now sadly I have no way of testing this because I can't turn the AI off and I don't play multiplayer. But if anyone feels like testing it out in MP to see what happens do tell me.

[Danubian Peoples]

Here is a thought that I got traveling home from work today. As far as I understand in HOI4 troops being cut off / surrounded is not a function of you literally having a wall of your troops / territory around them but of there not being a clear line from them to their capital for supplies to go through. So in theory if you were to surround a foreign capital but NOT actually capture it that would mean the capital is still the center of supply but no units have a line to it. And in theory that would render their entire military out of supply.

Now sadly I have no way of testing this because I can't turn the AI off and I don't play multiplayer. But if anyone feels like testing it out in MP to see what happens do tell me.

I've heard tales of people cheesing the Sino-Japanese war by encircling Nanjing and watching millions attrition to death afterwards. Not sure what version of HOI4 they used but it was a while back, so I assume that HOI4's rules have been changed enough since then to bar that from happening. Also I'm pretty sure there is an AI off command in the console.

[Dome Artan]

Man it is really hard to get your vassals to elect a member of your own dynasty in Byzantium when you aren't their religion.

Just strip all the threats to your dynasty members of their commander titles. If I remember correctly you either have to be a relative of the dynasty or a commander to be eligible due to the military empire nature of Byzantium and Rome.

[Cisairse]

Man it is really hard to get your vassals to elect a member of your own dynasty in Byzantium when you aren't their religion.

Just strip all the threats to your dynasty members of their commander titles. If I remember correctly you either have to be a relative of the dynasty or a commander to be eligible due to the military empire nature of Byzantium and Rome.

Wait, seriously? Holy shit.

[Dome Artan]

Just strip all the threats to your dynasty members of their commander titles. If I remember correctly you either have to be a relative of the dynasty or a commander to be eligible due to the military empire nature of Byzantium and Rome.

Wait, seriously? Holy shit.

Yup just have to worry about your Marshal if you do that. "The emperor’s close family members (spouse included), any claimants to the title, the current Marshal , and any commander under the emperor, can all be nominated as successors."

[Bralia]

The second feature in today's EUIV is something I've wanted for SO LONG. Actually love it.

[Bralia]

If you want to be strong, like Putin, become Medicine man!

Holy prepuce, I just actually got to that point in the diary, the Medicine tree seems stupidly strong and awesome.

[The Huskar Social Union]

[Impaled Nazarene]

If you want to be strong, like Putin, become Medicine man!

Holy prepuce, I just actually got to that point in the diary, the Medicine tree seems stupidly strong and awesome.

Looks advanced but maybe I'm just old school and like the weird yet simple systems of CK2 and older PDOX games.
Still, I am hype for now. Hope the EU4 and IR taint doesn't spread to this.

[Serrus]

If you want to be strong, like Putin, become Medicine man!

Holy prepuce, I just actually got to that point in the diary, the Medicine tree seems stupidly strong and awesome.

I'm personally more excited for Prophet, me being my religion-nerd self

[Holy Marsh]

The Equestrian Liberation Front is intensely difficult.

[Genivaria]

What is this sorcery!?

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

If you want to be strong, like Putin, become Medicine man!

Holy prepuce, I just actually got to that point in the diary, the Medicine tree seems stupidly strong and awesome.

The 'Know Thyself' trait seems particularly useful. I can't wait for the other trees to see how that will be balanced.

[The Huskar Social Union]

What is this sorcery!?
(Image)

Washing hands? Hands? Washing?

Ive seen it, its the future!

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

What is this sorcery!?
(Image)

Washing hands? Hands? Washing?

Ive seen it, its the future!

Away with you, and your Turnip Act!

[Bralia]

Kinda defeats the purpose of espionage to read someone perform it. Nevertheless, it's just a Dev Diary, the devs themselves clearly make for very poor spies.

[Purpelia]

Kinda defeats the purpose of espionage to read someone perform it. Nevertheless, it's just a Dev Diary, the devs themselves clearly make for very poor spies.

So it's confirmed. The AI does not know what to do with the new mechanics and is easily overrun.

[The Imperial Reach]

Okay so I don't know if anyone remembers this but a while back I was having a problem in a Zoroastrian play I was doing where I kept trying to marry my kids to each other (because Zoroastrian) but I kept getting this event trigger where one of them would complain that they hated their new spouse and wanted the marriage annulled and refusing to do so risked having them pick a secret lover, go celibate, or some other bad thing I can't remember and most of them became celibate and it was fucking with my dynasty because it's already hard enough for incestuous couples to procreate like the game actively inhibits their ability to do so at a normal rate and I couldn't figure out why it was happening.

Well in my recent Nubia came I encountered that event again, only this time it wasn't an incestuous marriage. That got me thinking that it had nothing to do with inbreeding so I started thinking about what could be causing this event to fire because outside of that one Zoroastrian game this is the only time I've ever seen it happen and it only happened once and I think I might've figured out why it happens and more importantly why it happened so often in my Zoroastrian play.

They hate each other. I mean, it's pretty straight forward now that I think about it. Obvious they're unhappy if they're married to someone they hate, say a rival or someone of entirely different culture and religion with polar opposite traits. They hate each other, so the event fires. But then that just begs the question: why did it happen so often in my Zoroastrian game?

Simple: they're all title claimants. All your children are born with claims on your titles - they have these even before you die. Title claimants fucking hate each other no matter what. Add that to any existing opinion modifiers such as polar opposite traits, rivalries developed during childhood, or even just temporary modifiers from random events and you have two people who hate each other's guts. I figure the more they hate each other, the more likely the event is to trigger. And it's not just limited to your kids either, because you're automatically the de facto head of your dynasty so any dynasty member in your court who you marry to someone they don't like without them leaving your court may have a chance of triggering this event, thus potentially ensuring a good chunk of your relatives may not produce any offspring unless you annul the marriage.

Or at least, that's my current theory. I suppose I could test it to see for sure.