PDOX Games VIII: Communism Will Win

[Danubian Peoples]

I did a thing

The above are some pics of my 769 Anushirvan of Esfahan run. Most of it was living under the Muhallabid yoke. The dynasty had somehow wriggled itself into North Africa, Persia, and a couple other places. I had managed to conquer a sizeable realm and had attempted to secede from the Muhallabids via plotting for a claim to Persia, and then starting a faction to put myself in power (thank you favors) a couple times, all of them ended in white peaces or realm peaces. The last one I attempted however coincided with the untimely destruction of the Arabian Empire. The tile went poof and the Abbasids became a non-factor. I'm guessing decadence but no notification came up. After that I had to white peace with the Muhallabids as I was out of money and in serious debt. I recovered a bit before pressing my claim to Persia again, and surprisingly my liege agreed. So I was now an independent polity. Mazdakite MA skyrocketed and I was able to convert counties faster than ever. Succession defaulted to Agnatic Gavelkind however, nothing last-minute murdering my eldest son couldn't fix. So now I'm here. Persia is de jure part of the Arabian Empire, but the Become Saoshyant decision still lists it as part of the Persian Empire. Not sure where to go, Manicheans are still the dominant Zoroastrian sect, apparently steppe nomads whose religion is only tangentially related to other Zoroastrian sects apparently are the dominant faith. Being Mazdaki has some implications, mainly the removal of divine marraige and concubinage (in comparison to normal Zoroastrian, coming from Christian Europe this is no biggie), and lax restrictions on characters of the fairer sex. Holding temples, Full Cognatic and being Chaplain are okay for women if Mazdaki. I guess I go out and become Saoshyant or something? Y'know, CK2 really 'reframes' the size of places. Coming from hundreds of hours of HOI4, Persia goes from 'meh' to 'absolute unit.' I know the Persian Empire of CK2 is a larger than modern-day Iran, but removing all the 'extra bits' (central Asia, Kurdistan) still yields a pretty magnificent blob. The same can be said for Hungary, Austria, Spain, France, and everywhere more or less.

[Bralia]

Probably the greatest ruler to ever exist.

[Danubian Peoples]

Probably the greatest ruler to ever exist.

i'm not familiar with EU4 (never played it or any of the games in the Europa Universalis series, boargames included), but isn't 6/6/6 a death sentence or something?

[Bralia]

Probably the greatest ruler to ever exist.

i'm not familiar with EU4 (never played it or any of the games in the Europa Universalis series, boargames included), but isn't 6/6/6 a death sentence or something?

If by death sentence you mean living for over 70 years and dying what I imagine was a natural death . . .

[Impaled Nazarene]

I'm having an amazing Catholic Game. It would be even better if my characters didn't spontaneously die pretty young (lost beautification roll of Aelfgar, now I'm playing Alfred II). RNG has been in my favor other than that, but now I rolled For Whom The Bell Tolls (death chess) at 29... I haven't had time yet to Benedict my heir into amazingness (He's already genius) and I fear a child heir might cause my empire to crumble.

EDIT: Got fucked even knowing how to play it, and lost only my secondary heir (the non genius)

I've never had the pleasure, as I never got around to picking up Reapers Due.

I feel like Catholicism in my game might be doing a bit better if the Pope were to Crusade for Aquitaine or Frisia though. For some reason he keeps periodically calling Crusades for Egypt, which the Catholics are in no position to actually win.

Yeah it's bugged for me too. Pope keeps callign Crusades for Egypt and I can't change the target to Jerusalem because it is not in the list. I can crusade for India but not Jerusalem.

[Danubian Peoples]

I did a thing

The above are some pics of my 769 Anushirvan of Esfahan run. Most of it was living under the Muhallabid yoke. The dynasty had somehow wriggled itself into North Africa, Persia, and a couple other places. I had managed to conquer a sizeable realm and had attempted to secede from the Muhallabids via plotting for a claim to Persia, and then starting a faction to put myself in power (thank you favors) a couple times, all of them ended in white peaces or realm peaces. The last one I attempted however coincided with the untimely destruction of the Arabian Empire. The tile went poof and the Abbasids became a non-factor. I'm guessing decadence but no notification came up. After that I had to white peace with the Muhallabids as I was out of money and in serious debt. I recovered a bit before pressing my claim to Persia again, and surprisingly my liege agreed. So I was now an independent polity. Mazdakite MA skyrocketed and I was able to convert counties faster than ever. Succession defaulted to Agnatic Gavelkind however, nothing last-minute murdering my eldest son couldn't fix. So now I'm here. Persia is de jure part of the Arabian Empire, but the Become Saoshyant decision still lists it as part of the Persian Empire. Not sure where to go, Manicheans are still the dominant Zoroastrian sect, apparently steppe nomads whose religion is only tangentially related to other Zoroastrian sects apparently are the dominant faith. Being Mazdaki has some implications, mainly the removal of divine marraige and concubinage (in comparison to normal Zoroastrian, coming from Christian Europe this is no biggie), and lax restrictions on characters of the fairer sex. Holding temples, Full Cognatic and being Chaplain are okay for women if Mazdaki. I guess I go out and become Saoshyant or something? Y'know, CK2 really 'reframes' the size of places. Coming from hundreds of hours of HOI4, Persia goes from 'meh' to 'absolute unit.' I know the Persian Empire of CK2 is a larger than modern-day Iran, but removing all the 'extra bits' (central Asia, Kurdistan) still yields a pretty magnificent blob. The same can be said for Hungary, Austria, Spain, France, and everywhere more or less.

A 'lil update to the above... Shia Egypt Holy Warr'd Kerman away... and now the Umaayads (with their 60k troops) have declared a Sunni Jihad.. on me. It's a conclusion I suppose. And a dramatic one at that. I mean what did I expect? The Muslims went deep into Catholic territory in this run. The Umaayads control all of France, Catholic MA is a nonfactor, and the even the Germans are Sunni. I thought I could change the world, but I guess it's the world that'll change you. And by change, I mean wipe of the face of the planet. By the looks of it the Rawandi dynasty and their Shahdom of Persia will go down as little experiments that ultimately failed. Think something that people only know about because an acheivement is attached to it in their favorite historical map game. I did score two acheivements in this run-Yes Men and Close Call. I also figured out the beauty of the Hermetic society. Boundless learning-and over the counter antidepressants. As well as handguns and horoscopes. I also now know the immense power of the Hospital. my demense has been rendered untouchable by the common epidemics-I can have Smallpox in the county next door and not bat an eyelid. Of course the Bubonic Plague made its way in anyway.

EDIT: Misread the war dec. As it turns out the Sunni Caliph and the Umaayad Emperor are two different people. The former is a vassal of the latter, which is why I was taken to the Umaayads when I followed the war declaration. There might still be hope.

EDIT: The Umaayads joined along with a bunch of other Sunnis. Sure the Umaayads got Price of Decadence'd but it didn't matter. Was promptly dogpiled and got game-over'd. So yeah, an experiment. it's really interesting. CK2 has this sort of allure to it, being that well, it's a history of sorts, and a lot of history tends to not make it to the present.. It's fun to play a single game from 769 all the way to 1453, but few institutions have a luxury of existing continusly throughout that entire timespan. And even if they do manage to perservere, they usually just get knocked over later. but it's fun to imagine the legacy of your savegames, and the more intricate goings-on inside them. Personally its my headcanon that when I conquered most of Europe as Scandinavia that one time, when the realm fractured stuff got crazy real fast and now Europe is a squabbling mess of successor states and even smaller Catholic fiefdoms. For this game, I'd imagine that the Shahdom (both pre and post independence) was a sort of Golden Age, with great philosopher-statesmen and riches and knowledge flowing nigh-endlessly from the Silk Road. A healthcare system that spared the lands from terrible sickness, and unparalleled represenation of the common person (this was Mazdaki after all, I had also set women's rights to max). With the fall of the Shahdom, the bright minds of this golden age would have to have gone somewhere, and their ideas would eventually take root in all corners of the known world, from the chaos that was Europe, to the rising Tilghemtids of Egypt and Anatolia, to the Indian Subcontinent, and even the greatest city on Earth-Byzantium. What follows is a renaissance of sorts, with bright minds and new ideas scattered across Europe and Asia and fermenting new movements across the lands. Maybe it's wish fulfillment, maybe it's sweetened grapes.

[The Olog-Hai]

My current run, I've found the beauty of the Benedictines. Although you don't get as insane artifacts or even learning, you get virtues and bonuses all around out the ass, and you still have a chance to steal some really bomb-ass stuff. I've got the crown of thorns, and I'd have a foreskin if I didn't die to death within 2 months of inheriting...

[Serrus]

-snip-

I must create a Mazdaki nation now
I will avenge your state

[Danubian Peoples]

-snip-

I must create a Mazdaki nation now
I will avenge your state

Good luck. Please post the goings-on of this nation soon. I'd love to hear it.
(No seriously, am geniuniely curious about how this will turn out)

[The Olog-Hai]

I must create a Mazdaki nation now
I will avenge your state

Good luck. Please post the goings-on of this nation soon. I'd love to hear it.
(No seriously, am geniuniely curious about how this will turn out)

I'm assuming this was Ironman - who'd you start as?

[North German Realm]

My current run, I've found the beauty of the Benedictines. Although you don't get as insane artifacts or even learning, you get virtues and bonuses all around out the ass, and you still have a chance to steal some really bomb-ass stuff. I've got the crown of thorns, and I'd have a foreskin if I didn't die to death within 2 months of inheriting...

I just wish Christianity had a fighters' guild like the pagans do tbh :/ What do I have to do to get an OP Warrior?

[The Olog-Hai]

My current run, I've found the beauty of the Benedictines. Although you don't get as insane artifacts or even learning, you get virtues and bonuses all around out the ass, and you still have a chance to steal some really bomb-ass stuff. I've got the crown of thorns, and I'd have a foreskin if I didn't die to death within 2 months of inheriting...

I just wish Christianity had a fighters' guild like the pagans do tbh :/ What do I have to do to get an OP Warrior?

Crusade the ever living fuck out of everything. Forge the white knight bloodline. Become a saint, get lucky, and get the +30% damage to religious enemies.
Essentially, get a little lucky, and you can murder non-Christians. Otherwise, it's pretty hard to get quite that OP... but you can get some holy foreskin and some pointy crown.
Also, update on the of Wessex dynasty - Alfred's great grandson is now the Sword of Jesus...
EDIT: Also, just crushed the shia in a crusade, and apparently the Mamluks are my vassals... oh boy.

[Serrus]

Good luck. Please post the goings-on of this nation soon. I'd love to hear it.
(No seriously, am geniuniely curious about how this will turn out)

I'm assuming this was Ironman - who'd you start as?

Well, I decided to go through my usual route of Viking invading my way to victory. I needed 2 conditions, 769 and feudalism. The county of Ostfriesland provided that, plus the necessary Germanic. Converting my heir was easy enough, now all I've gotta do is wait for invasion o-clock--
My heart subsequently melted from cuteness.

[The Olog-Hai]

I'm assuming this was Ironman - who'd you start as?

Well, I decided to go through my usual route of Viking invading my way to victory. I needed 2 conditions, 769 and feudalism. The county of Ostfriesland provided that, plus the necessary Germanic. Converting my heir was easy enough, now all I've gotta do is wait for invasion o-clock--
My heart subsequently melted from cuteness.

Sometimes it can end up a lot worse...
Also, about to form Outremer, and it seems like I've been keeping Catholicism strong, healthy, and pious because holy fuck that's a lot of blessed. I lost RNG on my last ruler, who would have surely been a saint otherwise (15k piety)

[Bralia]

My current run, I've found the beauty of the Benedictines. Although you don't get as insane artifacts or even learning, you get virtues and bonuses all around out the ass, and you still have a chance to steal some really bomb-ass stuff. I've got the crown of thorns, and I'd have a foreskin if I didn't die to death within 2 months of inheriting...

Dude . . . the crown of thorns and Jesus' foreskin are insane artifacts. Stuff like that are surely the most coveted artifacts in the game. Be glad and merry that you have Jesus' dingdong in your palace.

[The Olog-Hai]

My current run, I've found the beauty of the Benedictines. Although you don't get as insane artifacts or even learning, you get virtues and bonuses all around out the ass, and you still have a chance to steal some really bomb-ass stuff. I've got the crown of thorns, and I'd have a foreskin if I didn't die to death within 2 months of inheriting...

Dude . . . the crown of thorns and Jesus' foreskin are insane artifacts. Stuff like that are surely the most coveted artifacts in the game. Be glad and merry that you have Jesus' dingdong in your palace.

Oh, I didn't get the foreskin because that character died to death within months. That guy's great-grandson (?) managed to pick up the foreskin in a crusade. But yeah, I'm really luck Alfred successfully stole the crown early on (though I briefly went broke, I've been playing the game of making the pope love me enough to bail me out whenever I do go broke). Now, I've got Outremer and Catholicism is doing splendid (even if the karling are as fragmented as ever). I just noticed that the Umayyads converted after I necked the caliphates... but then Shia caliphate rising happened so I need to wreck that kingdom come next crusade.

[Danubian Peoples]

Y'know those '[Body Part] of a [Great Person] artifacts you find in CK2? I'm wondering if anyone has bothered to collect the full set. As in, your dynasty has a hodge-podge of ancient body parts from persons of similar character to each other assembled into a rough skeleton somwhere. Oh and Bralia, when I meant death sentence I meant 'guaranteed to die via hunting accident.' At least that's what I've heard. Does being smart get you killed in Paradox games or something?

[Myrensis]

Dude . . . the crown of thorns and Jesus' foreskin are insane artifacts. Stuff like that are surely the most coveted artifacts in the game. Be glad and merry that you have Jesus' dingdong in your palace.

Oh, I didn't get the foreskin because that character died to death within months. That guy's great-grandson (?) managed to pick up the foreskin in a crusade. But yeah, I'm really luck Alfred successfully stole the crown early on (though I briefly went broke, I've been playing the game of making the pope love me enough to bail me out whenever I do go broke). Now, I've got Outremer and Catholicism is doing splendid (even if the karling are as fragmented as ever). I just noticed that the Umayyads converted after I necked the caliphates... but then Shia caliphate rising happened so I need to wreck that kingdom come next crusade.

On a tangential note, I kind of hope CK3 allows 'Crusades' for Orthodox. I know they weren't a thing historically..but that's because Orthodoxy was pretty much involved in a centuries long losing siege anyway. Obviously things don't always go that way in CK, and when you have a bunch of powerful secure Orthodox nations they ought to be able to band together and go wreck heathens for fat loot and prestige and piety too.

[The Olog-Hai]

Y'know those '[Body Part] of a [Great Person] artifacts you find in CK2? I'm wondering if anyone has bothered to collect the full set. As in, your dynasty has a hodge-podge of ancient body parts from persons of similar character to each other assembled into a rough skeleton somwhere. Oh and Bralia, when I meant death sentence I meant 'guaranteed to die via hunting accident.' At least that's what I've heard. Does being smart get you killed in Paradox games or something?

I've got a tongue of St. Tarsus (super good, quality 4) and a finger or arm of the same. I've got two others fingers (one unnamed, one st. john), and a head. Probably the most I've got, I don't usually go Benedictine. Oh, also let me not forget my foreskin of Jesus.

Oh, I didn't get the foreskin because that character died to death within months. That guy's great-grandson (?) managed to pick up the foreskin in a crusade. But yeah, I'm really luck Alfred successfully stole the crown early on (though I briefly went broke, I've been playing the game of making the pope love me enough to bail me out whenever I do go broke). Now, I've got Outremer and Catholicism is doing splendid (even if the karling are as fragmented as ever). I just noticed that the Umayyads converted after I necked the caliphates... but then Shia caliphate rising happened so I need to wreck that kingdom come next crusade.

On a tangential note, I kind of hope CK3 allows 'Crusades' for Orthodox. I know they weren't a thing historically..but that's because Orthodoxy was pretty much involved in a centuries long losing siege anyway. Obviously things don't always go that way in CK, and when you have a bunch of powerful secure Orthodox nations they ought to be able to band together and go wreck heathens for fat loot and prestige and piety too.

Yeah, Orthodox are a little underpowered (more than a little). However, the issues as it stands with Crusades right now means that even if someone wanted to mod it for Ck2 (I'm sure an orthodox crusades fix exists), AFAIK only one religion can use the fancy shmancy loot and prestige out the ass version.

[North German Realm]

I just wish Christianity had a fighters' guild like the pagans do tbh :/ What do I have to do to get an OP Warrior?

Crusade the ever living fuck out of everything. Forge the white knight bloodline. Become a saint, get lucky, and get the +30% damage to religious enemies.
Essentially, get a little lucky, and you can murder non-Christians. Otherwise, it's pretty hard to get quite that OP... but you can get some holy foreskin and some pointy crown.
Also, update on the of Wessex dynasty - Alfred's great grandson is now the Sword of Jesus...
EDIT: Also, just crushed the shia in a crusade, and apparently the Mamluks are my vassals... oh boy.

Yeah, I wish. I probably will try to get a white knight bloodline at some point. Update on my own Wessex dynasty: Europe is still a karling hellhole divided between Lotharingia and Francia. And I think my characters no longer look even remotely Anglo-Saxon, thanks to all the breeding.

[The Olog-Hai]

Crusade the ever living fuck out of everything. Forge the white knight bloodline. Become a saint, get lucky, and get the +30% damage to religious enemies.
Essentially, get a little lucky, and you can murder non-Christians. Otherwise, it's pretty hard to get quite that OP... but you can get some holy foreskin and some pointy crown.
Also, update on the of Wessex dynasty - Alfred's great grandson is now the Sword of Jesus...
EDIT: Also, just crushed the shia in a crusade, and apparently the Mamluks are my vassals... oh boy.

Yeah, I wish. I probably will try to get a white knight bloodline at some point. Update on my own Wessex dynasty: Europe is still a karling hellhole divided between Lotharingia and Francia. And I think my characters no longer look even remotely Anglo-Saxon, thanks to all the breeding.

I've barely outbred, but my entire realm is Anglo-Saxon, more or less. I think I'm greek, ethnically, or maybe mongolian (did some marriages to chinese princesses). Europe is still a Karling hellhole, and one of those idiots managed to make the HRE. But the Middle East is nice...

[North German Realm]

Finally got this on coming. Can't wait to be the cause of Christianity's eventual collapse in Anatolia.

Now all I need is the "Latin Empire" bloodline and we're off

[Bralia]

The new Game Director for Imperator: Rome states his vision for the future, and one final patch will be out before the end of the year.

[Myrensis]

Finally got this on coming. Can't wait to be the cause of Christianity's eventual collapse in Anatolia.

Now all I need is the "Latin Empire" bloodline and we're off

I mean, I get that there's no real way within the games mechanics to actually have something like the 4th Crusade play out, but still kind of amusing to me how they worked around it by just letting Venice go , "Hey no, guys, instead of going after the Muslims or Pagans we should go wreck Eastern Christianity in the name of Christ instead, it'll be great!"

[The Olog-Hai]

Immortal blood of Alexander leads to five bloodlines, for a total of +29 personal combat (among other benefits). If I can get my ass Beautified, I can probably snag another sainthood.