Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

[Genivaria]

You should be thankful for that; CK2 relatives are the worst.

"Brother, you have been so kind to me, giving me that duchy and several counties, preventing me from going bankrupt and helping me find a good bride. Truly, you have treated me well. After years of this kindness, I just wanted to say: fuck you! The throne shall be mine!"

My CKII families are comfy and loyal though. I've never had a relative in-game turn against me, and generally would be much happier with the life in-game than I live right now.

What is this sorcery!?
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

[United Muscovite Nations]

My CKII families are comfy and loyal though. I've never had a relative in-game turn against me, and generally would be much happier with the life in-game than I live right now.

What is this sorcery!?
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

Family focus and having you and your family members raise all of the children.

[Genivaria]

What is this sorcery!?
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

Family focus and having you and your family members raise all of the children.

.........Honey good news! We don't have to kill all my siblings anymore!
*Byzantine wife walks in with a bloody knife*
Oh shit.

[Wallenburg]

What is this sorcery!?
TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

Family focus and having you and your family members raise all of the children.

Or, alternatively, avoid family infighting by either siring or fucking every person that you can.

[Genivaria]

Family focus and having you and your family members raise all of the children.

Or, alternatively, avoid family infighting by either siring or fucking every person that you can.

And have nothing but bastard children and only legitimize the ones that are worthy.

[Wallenburg]

Or, alternatively, avoid family infighting by either siring or fucking every person that you can.

And have nothing but bastard children and only legitimize the ones that are worthy.

^^ Exactly. I honestly don't know why, but my wife was perfectly fine with me having sex with four of my cousins, my sister, and my niece. She even became my lover after I got tired of managing all those relations. Maybe she was joining in regularly during my extramarital exploits?

[Genivaria]

And have nothing but bastard children and only legitimize the ones that are worthy.

^^ Exactly. I honestly don't know why, but my wife was perfectly fine with me having sex with four of my cousins, my sister, and my niece. She even became my lover after I got tired of managing all those relations. Maybe she was joining in regularly during my extramarital exploits?

The depravity of the nobility, the Habsburgs would be proud.

[Wallenburg]

^^ Exactly. I honestly don't know why, but my wife was perfectly fine with me having sex with four of my cousins, my sister, and my niece. She even became my lover after I got tired of managing all those relations. Maybe she was joining in regularly during my extramarital exploits?

The depravity of the nobility, the Habsburgs would be proud.

We prefer the term "free love".

[Bralia]

A stable family is a terrible family. How can you expect to get your ideal heir without murdering the bad children? All of your children should be treated like the enemy that they are until one proves their worth to you.

[The Knockout Gun Gals]

Some of the Millenium Dawn's focuses are not terribly good.

[Ifreann]

A stable family is a terrible family. How can you expect to get your ideal heir without murdering the bad children? All of your children should be treated like the enemy that they are until one proves their worth to you.

Ye olde Les Enfants Terribles.

[Khornatenreich]

What happens when you forget you have a few VERY different mods on.

Enclave Versus the goddamn Martians?

It gets worse.

The Reich stands eternal, arming the Democracies & Fascist states of the Americas An Arsenal of Imperialism; because, y'know, Freedomland aint building much of an Arsenal right now, it's living off of surplus Enfields & using Kraut arty and tanks.

Turns out, the Kaizer's pretty chill with Americans.


I've also held off four Martian Invasion attempts on the Fatherland, Russia had an Invasion, Iran went Islamic-gommunist & UMN get's his Fashy-Iraqyreich dreams satiated by hilarious proxy.

[Bralia]

I love this. <3

[The Huskar Social Union]

I love this. <3

My current character in my Tibet game wrote a book about his aunt as a teenager because he had the hots for her.

[Ifreann]

I love this. <3

My current character in my Tibet game wrote a book about his aunt as a teenager because he had the hots for her.

"Oh how I'd love to ride my aunt,
But incest laws say that I can't.
That will change when I take the throne.
All day and night shall we bone"

It sounds better in the original Tibetan.

[Bralia]

I love this. <3

My current character in my Tibet game wrote a book about his aunt as a teenager because he had the hots for her.

You managed to finish a book while you were a teen? It seems like it takes about 5 - 10 years each time I write.

Also a fun other book I wrote, I actually gave one off to someone who needed it more than me.

[The Huskar Social Union]

My current character in my Tibet game wrote a book about his aunt as a teenager because he had the hots for her.

"Oh how I'd love to ride my aunt,
But incest laws say that I can't.
That will change when I take the throne.
All day and night shall we bone"

It sounds better in the original Tibetan.

Apparently it was more of an action/fictional tale inspired by her will or spirit.

Or.. something like that anyway, says historians are unclear which relative its based on, but the event that i made it was because he wanted to bang his aunt.

[Ifreann]

"Oh how I'd love to ride my aunt,
But incest laws say that I can't.
That will change when I take the throne.
All day and night shall we bone"

It sounds better in the original Tibetan.

Apparently it was more of an action/fictional tale inspired by her will or spirit.

Or.. something like that anyway, says historians are unclear which relative its based on, but the event that i made it was because he wanted to bang his aunt.

Die Hard in Tibet.

[Bralia]

Other fun things that have happened in today's session:

I've officially won and gain all the spoils of two Crusades now and effectively driven the Umayyads out of France, with the exception of the small kingdom of Brittany. Didn't grab a screenshot of the first crusade I won, but you can see how I've affected the lands down in Aquitania. 2/3rds of France are basically set up to be Irish.

Elsewhere, this is the third time at least that I've seen a dead Pope prosecuted for his crimes. Christianity really did have some troubled times in the first two centuries of the game, but we're getting better. In fact, I've never seen so many religions do so well. There aren't very many weak religions left in the world.

And the last screenshot I have to share is just silly: You know you've fucked up badly as a western European power when the Chinese Western Protectorate gets involved in a war against you.

[Bralia]

In official Paradox teaser news, the humanoid colony ship actually looks sexier than all of the warhsips we've see while the constructor ship is fat and chunky. Separately, coming in tomorrow's DD, a look at new combat mechanics. Individual ships can now break formation and go off to recuperate, then be put on trial and executed for fleeing a battle because death before dishonor you cowards!

[Alvecia]

In official Paradox teaser news, the humanoid colony ship actually looks sexier than all of the warships we've seen while the constructor ship is fat and chunky. Separately, coming in tomorrow's DD, a look at new combat mechanics. Individual ships can now break formation and go off to recuperate, then put on trial and executed for fleeing a battle before honor's due.

Mmm, I think the new ship designs are what I'm looking forward to the most.

[Anywhere Else But Here]

Bah, it's only most of Europe. What do they know about fighting? I'll take them with one army tied behind my back.

[The Batavia]

Bah, it's only most of Europe. What do they know about fighting? I'll take them with one army tied behind my back.

Meh, seen worse.

[Bralia]

Wanking the Tiger is going to be improving the depth of the trait system for leaders in HoI4.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Wanking the Tiger is going to be improving the depth of the trait system for leaders in HoI4.

....