Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

[Deutsch-Afrika]

hi

Guten tag.

Ja, commadant

[Nature-Spirits]

I'm just bad at EU4. Maybe I just have to accept this.

Then again, I've only ever played as the Papal States, Ayutthaya, and the fucking Haida, so maybe I'm just choosing shitty starts idk.

[Wallenburg]

I'll be honest and this might be an unpopular opinion but I think that Victoria 2 is my least favorite among the PDX historical strategy games.

Crusader Kings 2 is my least favorite PDX. Victoria II fared better, despite older than CK2.

*grabs broadsword*

Listen here, peasant...

[Genivaria]

Crusader Kings 2 is my least favorite PDX. Victoria II fared better, despite older than CK2.

*grabs broadsword*

Listen here, peasant...

*grabs pistol*
You listen here, blueblood.

[Impaled Nazarene]

*grabs broadsword*

Listen here, peasant...

*grabs pistol*
You listen here, blueblood.

*grabs T-34*
You listen here, liberal.

[Genivaria]

*grabs pistol*
You listen here, blueblood.

*grabs T-34*
You listen here, liberal.

Who the fuck is the Emperor here?

[Ism]

*grabs T-34*
You listen here, liberal.

Who the fuck is the Emperor here?

Me: you stole my joke, now I shall steal your throne!

*Ism has declared the Ism's Claim on the Empire of the Paradox Games VII: In Tsarist Russia, kebab skewers you. war on Emperor Genivaria*

[Wallenburg]

Who the fuck is the Emperor here?

Me: you stole my joke, now I shall steal your throne!

*Ism has declared the Ism's Claim on the Empire of the Paradox Games VII: In Tsarist Russia, kebab skewers you. war on Emperor Genivaria*

You won't be getting any vassal levies from me in this one, Geni.

[Genivaria]

Who the fuck is the Emperor here?

Me: you stole my joke, now I shall steal your throne!

*Ism has declared the Ism's Claim on the Empire of the Paradox Games VII: In Tsarist Russia, kebab skewers you. war on Emperor Genivaria*

Do not disrupt the line of succession, Impaled Nazarene is the named heir and power shall be passed to him.
Likely with me being put in front of a firing squad with red banners everywhere but who cares about the details.

[Genivaria]

Me: you stole my joke, now I shall steal your throne!

*Ism has declared the Ism's Claim on the Empire of the Paradox Games VII: In Tsarist Russia, kebab skewers you. war on Emperor Genivaria*

You won't be getting any vassal levies from me in this one, Geni.

'Vassal levies'
This is why I invest so much money into my demense.
So I can afford mercenaries!
*raises Irish Band*

[Genivaria]

Okay so my English game is going alright so far, let's see who my French rival has for alli-

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Bralia]

Absolutely stole this idea from Bralia, I decided the first proper eu4 game I play in a while will be Muscovy > Russia. I'd say it's going pretty well, but my troops have this weird habit of completely melting when losing one battle, so i have to rebuild stacks quite often.

Rossiya v poryadke, ya dumayu ...?

>implying glorious Greater German unity is ever below 90%

Well meme'd

We'll see about that unity after a few A-Bombs are dropped.

What did I do?

I'm just bad at EU4. Maybe I just have to accept this.

Then again, I've only ever played as the Papal States, Ayutthaya, and the fucking Haida, so maybe I'm just choosing shitty starts idk.

Those are definitely less than ideal starts for a newb. Haida is only for playing who enjoy pain and suffering, Ayutthaya is for people who need to kiss ass to the Chinese Emperor for 2/3rds of the game, and the Papal States . . . not the worst choice, but you're still fighting an uphill battle because other major nations love to stick their fingers in Italy.

I highly recommend playing an Iberian power. Portugal if you want to play a peaceful-ish game, Castile if you want to play a powerful colonizer game, Aragon if you want to stay involved in Mediterranean politics.

[Ism]

Okay so my English game is going alright so far, let's see who my French rival has for alli-

(Image)

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You sir, are cursed.

[Polar Svalbard]

Okay so my English game is going alright so far, let's see who my French rival has for alli-

(Image)

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You need to pillage and rape the Ottomans. For all they've done to you. I don't care how many games, hours, or men it takes. Finish them. Raze all their provinces and genocide their people to another culture. Break their will upon the bayonet and let the cry of victory ring out across all your campaigns.

[Ism]

Okay so my English game is going alright so far, let's see who my French rival has for alli-

(Image)

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You need to pillage and rape the Ottomans. For all they've done to you. I don't care how many games, hours, or men it takes. Finish them. Raze all their provinces and genocide their people to another culture. Break their will upon the bayonet and let the cry of victory ring out across all your campaigns.

Not a bad idea really. If only for the cathartic value.

[Genivaria]

You need to pillage and rape the Ottomans. For all they've done to you. I don't care how many games, hours, or men it takes. Finish them. Raze all their provinces and genocide their people to another culture. Break their will upon the bayonet and let the cry of victory ring out across all your campaigns.

Not a bad idea really. If only for the cathartic value.

Ottomans: We're going to conquer another province in Allah's name!
*suddenly massive armada of galleys appears*
Tally ho motherfucker.

Oh and hey ya'll remember that 6/6/6 heir I had?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
WHY Random Number God? WHY?

[Ism]

Not a bad idea really. If only for the cathartic value.

Ottomans: We're going to conquer another province in Allah's name!
*suddenly massive armada of galleys appears*
Tally ho motherfucker.

Oh and hey ya'll remember that 6/6/6 heir I had?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
WHY Random Number God? WHY?

Like I said, cursed. It's the only rational explanation.

*-1 Stability*

[Dakran]

K so Russian theocratic tyranny game failed.
Let's try England again.

Does this make me Russia Prime?

[Genivaria]

K so Russian theocratic tyranny game failed.
Let's try England again.

Does this make me Russia Prime?

You fucking go for it, and kill Kebab while you're at it.
I will cheer you on.

[Dakran]

Does this make me Russia Prime?

You fucking go for it, and kill Kebab while you're at it.
I will cheer you on.

I will marshal my troops, call the banners, and purge the Ottoman scum from the face of the world. I swear it.

[Herador]

I left instantconstruction on too long and Germany ended up with 1000 ships.

I can't even cheat at this game, holy balls

[Wallenburg]

Not a bad idea really. If only for the cathartic value.

Ottomans: We're going to conquer another province in Allah's name!
*suddenly massive armada of galleys appears*
Tally ho motherfucker.

Oh and hey ya'll remember that 6/6/6 heir I had?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
WHY Random Number God? WHY?

This is why CK2 > all. You can murder/lawyer/fuck/bribe your way out of a succession crisis.

[Genivaria]

Ottomans: We're going to conquer another province in Allah's name!
*suddenly massive armada of galleys appears*
Tally ho motherfucker.

Oh and hey ya'll remember that 6/6/6 heir I had?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
WHY Random Number God? WHY?

This is why CK2 > all. You can murder/lawyer/fuck/bribe your way out of a succession crisis.

And get cucked by everyone in the empire in the meantime.

[Dakran]

-86 relations for Mogilev.
-86 Relations for Mogilev.
-86 RELATIONS FOR MOGILEV.
HUNGARY WHAT THE FUCK

[Wallenburg]

This is why CK2 > all. You can murder/lawyer/fuck/bribe your way out of a succession crisis.

And get cucked by everyone in the empire in the meantime.

Did I mention murder? Can't get cucked if your wife dies before childbirth!