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Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

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Should Impaled Nazarene be declared eternal ruler and god-emperor of the paradox thread?

1. Yes master! HAIL NAZ!
11
9%
2. Remove me like you remove your kebabs daddy!
29
23%
3. In Huskar's Ice Picked Skull we trust!
36
29%
4. Bralia is a witch! BURN HER!!!
13
10%
5. Impaled Nazarene for General Secretary of the Global Communist Party!
11
9%
6. We are 'men of Science we'll let (Rigged) RNStalin decide! (obligatory joke option)
26
21%
 
Total votes : 126

User avatar
Impaled Nazarene
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10311
Founded: Aug 09, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Impaled Nazarene » Wed Jun 20, 2018 6:03 pm

The Holy Cee wrote:China successfully invaded

So... I decided to try and invade China and managed to succeed after suffering an initial defeat with the huge, attritionless Chinese horde. Plus points because the whole world allied with China when I declared war on them. I had to deal with everyone because of my threat.

I initially recruited a rogue Chinese general (before declaring war) to teach me the ways of the Dragon. I then had to pacify the Slavic tribes to the north-west while waiting for the Chinese hordes. Lo' and behold, there were hundreds of thousands of them. They descended upon the steppes of Khazaria besieging holding after holding. My Roman armies rallied behind the River Volga waiting for the Chinese assault. After beating the first wave, a second wave of Chinese troops arrived. I had to sacrifice the whole of my retinues just to beat back the Chinese. They never recovered after that. My brave Roman soldiers managed to chase them, again and again, until the Chinese armies were decimated. I got a 100% warscore just by winning the battles with the Chinese troops but the Chinese had -50% occupation warscore against me so I had to reclaim back my captured territory before the third wave arrived, in the form of the Chinese Treasure Fleet. They never got to see battle before the mighty Song Empire bowed before the Roman Empire.

After 10 years, my sister, Empresss Gaozu Alachisling, still sits on the Dragon Throne.

Interesting fact: The name "Gaozu" is an imperial temple name typically used for Chinese emperors who founded a particular dynasty.

Most impressive
Anarchist
Kiaculta wrote:Oh, Kar, you silly sack of shit.
Soviet Haaregrad wrote:Bickering ist krieg.
Infected Mushroom wrote:isn't this a bit extreme?
Finland SSR wrote:"Many dictatorships are oligarchies.
Many democracies are oligarchies.
Therefore, many dictatorships are democracies."

-said no one ever. I made these words up.
Genivaria wrote:"WHY!? Why do this!? Thousands of planets and trillions of innocent lives gone! For what!?"
"It seemed like fun at the time."

User avatar
Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 22872
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Wallenburg » Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:06 pm

The Holy Cee wrote:China successfully invaded

So... I decided to try and invade China and managed to succeed after suffering an initial defeat with the huge, attritionless Chinese horde. Plus points because the whole world allied with China when I declared war on them. I had to deal with everyone because of my threat.

I initially recruited a rogue Chinese general (before declaring war) to teach me the ways of the Dragon. I then had to pacify the Slavic tribes to the north-west while waiting for the Chinese hordes. Lo' and behold, there were hundreds of thousands of them. They descended upon the steppes of Khazaria besieging holding after holding. My Roman armies rallied behind the River Volga waiting for the Chinese assault. After beating the first wave, a second wave of Chinese troops arrived. I had to sacrifice the whole of my retinues just to beat back the Chinese. They never recovered after that. My brave Roman soldiers managed to chase them, again and again, until the Chinese armies were decimated. I got a 100% warscore just by winning the battles with the Chinese troops but the Chinese had -50% occupation warscore against me so I had to reclaim back my captured territory before the third wave arrived, in the form of the Chinese Treasure Fleet. They never got to see battle before the mighty Song Empire bowed before the Roman Empire.

After 10 years, my sister, Empresss Gaozu Alachisling, still sits on the Dragon Throne.

Interesting fact: The name "Gaozu" is an imperial temple name typically used for Chinese emperors who founded a particular dynasty.

I see non-purple counties in that screemshot. You know what to do.
While she had no regrets about throwing the lever to douse her husband's mistress in molten gold, Blanche did feel a pang of conscience for the innocent bystanders whose proximity had caused them to suffer gilt by association.

King of Snark, Real Piece of Work, Metabolizer of Oxygen, Old Man from The East Pacific, by the Malevolence of Her Infinite Terribleness Catherine Gratwick the Sole and True Claimant to the Bears Armed Vacancy, Protector of the Realm

User avatar
Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 22872
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Wallenburg » Thu Jun 21, 2018 3:43 am

Just survived my first Black Death: DLC EditionTM. Lost two of my sons, including the best one that was going to lead conquest after conquest of the British Isles. Nevertheless, it was not a total loss, as over 65% of my entire dynasty is now tall. I just created a family of supersoldiers accidentally.
https://i.imgur.com/Z7vDPwz.png
While she had no regrets about throwing the lever to douse her husband's mistress in molten gold, Blanche did feel a pang of conscience for the innocent bystanders whose proximity had caused them to suffer gilt by association.

King of Snark, Real Piece of Work, Metabolizer of Oxygen, Old Man from The East Pacific, by the Malevolence of Her Infinite Terribleness Catherine Gratwick the Sole and True Claimant to the Bears Armed Vacancy, Protector of the Realm

User avatar
The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59287
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Thu Jun 21, 2018 3:56 am

Wallenburg wrote:Just survived my first Black Death: DLC EditionTM. Lost two of my sons, including the best one that was going to lead conquest after conquest of the British Isles. Nevertheless, it was not a total loss, as over 65% of my entire dynasty is now tall. I just created a family of supersoldiers accidentally.
https://i.imgur.com/Z7vDPwz.png

I remember once in a mod i was playing, i got hit by the black death two times in the space of like thirty years.


It was fucking mental.
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


User avatar
Bralia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 31517
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:16 am

Stellaris team is more or less officially going on vacation. Minimal activity expected until August.
Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

User avatar
Frievolk
Minister
 
Posts: 3368
Founded: Jun 14, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Frievolk » Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:46 am

OK but whatever else you say about Vicky2, its economy and population mechanics were awesome.
OOC
Libertarian Constitutionalist
Part-time Anarchist
Anti-Monotheist
Iranian Nationalist
Templates
♔ The Frievolker Empire || Frievolker Kaiserreik
♔ The Realm in the Sun || De Reik in de Sonne
♔ Led by Kaiser Johann, Part of the Erstwelt
Never forget that the Muslims literally made up a new meaningless name for him when they forgot the name of Adam's Firstborn.

User avatar
The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59287
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:50 am

Frievolk wrote:OK but whatever else you say about Vicky2, its economy and population mechanics were awesome.

All i know is socialism plus factory spam = Millions each month and allows you to beat the utter fuck out of the germans and brits.
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


User avatar
Bralia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 31517
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Thu Jun 21, 2018 7:54 am

Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

User avatar
Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:14 am


"Our Father, who wields an axe, hallowed be thy name..."
But really SO MUCH HYPE.
Last edited by Genivaria on Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Ism
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6152
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ism » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:18 am


User avatar
Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:19 am


Cosmopolitan Norse Merchant Republic who's medieval navy rules the waves.

User avatar
Ism
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6152
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ism » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:21 am

Genivaria wrote:
Ism wrote:
(Image)

Cosmopolitan Norse Merchant Republic who's medieval navy rules the waves.


“By Thor’s Hammer, what a savings.”

You know, I wonder if anyone will get that reference.
Last edited by Ism on Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:39 am

Ism wrote:
Genivaria wrote:Cosmopolitan Norse Merchant Republic who's medieval navy rules the waves.


“By Thor’s Hammer, what a savings.”

You know, I wonder if anyone will get that reference.

Warmongering, bloodthirsty gods, Slavs?

User avatar
The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59287
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:15 am

Ism wrote:
Genivaria wrote:Cosmopolitan Norse Merchant Republic who's medieval navy rules the waves.


“By Thor’s Hammer, what a savings.”

You know, I wonder if anyone will get that reference.

hmmm

hmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmm



OHHHHHHHHHH
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


User avatar
The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59287
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:27 am

Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


User avatar
Ithalian Empire
Senator
 
Posts: 3795
Founded: Jan 19, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Ithalian Empire » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:30 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2


Wow.


Thats fucking disgusting. If I did that I would a a Joffrey MK2 on my hands.
Eat ,Drink, and be mary, for tomorrow we die.
PRAISE THE FOUNDERS

The poster licks five public door handles a day to compare there taste.

User avatar
Ism
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6152
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ism » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:38 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:
Ism wrote:
“By Thor’s Hammer, what a savings.”

You know, I wonder if anyone will get that reference.

hmmm

hmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmm



OHHHHHHHHHH


Maybe I should have saved that for a Stellaris joke.

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2


Incestion.

User avatar
The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59287
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:42 am

Ism wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:hmmm

hmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmm



OHHHHHHHHHH


Maybe I should have saved that for a Stellaris joke.

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2


Incestion.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


User avatar
Frievolk
Minister
 
Posts: 3368
Founded: Jun 14, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Frievolk » Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:16 am

Today, I learned never to help my allies. While I was helping my ally beat back an invasion on them, I got my infamy up to 40 and didn't pay attention to it. And then, right after I force-annexed two of the states involved in the war (and forced the rest to a white peace), I got Four Containment wars... which Russia intervened in... only to agree to their full demands without fighting AT ALL.
Dammit, no fighting until 1872, and no colonization either. :/
OOC
Libertarian Constitutionalist
Part-time Anarchist
Anti-Monotheist
Iranian Nationalist
Templates
♔ The Frievolker Empire || Frievolker Kaiserreik
♔ The Realm in the Sun || De Reik in de Sonne
♔ Led by Kaiser Johann, Part of the Erstwelt
Never forget that the Muslims literally made up a new meaningless name for him when they forgot the name of Adam's Firstborn.

User avatar
Wallenburg
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 22872
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Wallenburg » Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:21 am

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2

Horrifying and mesmerizing, disgusting yet beautiful, good stats but dangerously short life span.
While she had no regrets about throwing the lever to douse her husband's mistress in molten gold, Blanche did feel a pang of conscience for the innocent bystanders whose proximity had caused them to suffer gilt by association.

King of Snark, Real Piece of Work, Metabolizer of Oxygen, Old Man from The East Pacific, by the Malevolence of Her Infinite Terribleness Catherine Gratwick the Sole and True Claimant to the Bears Armed Vacancy, Protector of the Realm

User avatar
Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:37 pm

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2

The most degenerate of degernacies.
Last edited by Genivaria on Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Harbertia
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 26689
Founded: Apr 30, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Harbertia » Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:08 pm

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2

I... have feeling she's going to be a Lunatic in the future- a Mad Genius.
Last edited by Harbertia on Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

User avatar
Frievolk
Minister
 
Posts: 3368
Founded: Jun 14, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Frievolk » Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:24 pm

Image

The Great War just doesn't make any sense
(FYI, here are the Sides:







The Allied PowersThe Central Powers
The UKThe German Empire
The Russian EmpireDemnark
FranceBelgium
MontenegroNetherlands
SerbiaSpain
MongoliaThe Ottoman Empire
Xinjiang
Last edited by Frievolk on Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
OOC
Libertarian Constitutionalist
Part-time Anarchist
Anti-Monotheist
Iranian Nationalist
Templates
♔ The Frievolker Empire || Frievolker Kaiserreik
♔ The Realm in the Sun || De Reik in de Sonne
♔ Led by Kaiser Johann, Part of the Erstwelt
Never forget that the Muslims literally made up a new meaningless name for him when they forgot the name of Adam's Firstborn.

User avatar
Harbertia
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 26689
Founded: Apr 30, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Harbertia » Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:28 pm

Frievolk wrote:
The Great War just doesn't make any sense
(FYI, here are the Sides:







The Allied PowersThe Central Powers
The UKThe German Empire
The Russian EmpireDemnark
FranceBelgium
MontenegroNetherlands
SerbiaSpain
MongoliaThe Ottoman Empire
Xinjiang


Netherlands is Dutch; Dutch is German- DUTCHELAND!

Denmark is Nordic- German is Nordic.

MOntenegro and the Ottomans have strife... I don't see any issue with these sides at all.
A light in casing is still a light.
Tomorrow is made today.
You can't stop progress, but you can direct it's course.

User avatar
Renoa
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1837
Founded: Apr 19, 2013
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Renoa » Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:39 pm

The Huskar Social Union wrote:Peak CK2

I know I've already said it, but I want to say again how much I hate the CK2 subreddit. The people there are essentially living parodies of Paradox gamers. You would think that incest and Glitterhoof would lose their luster sometime in the last two years or so, but no, r/CrusaderKings still find them hysterical.
It's been several years and I'm still the Paradox Thread's Self-Appointed Court Chaplain. No one's ever asked but I thought you should know.

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