Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

[The Batavia]

"This continent ain't big enough for both of us." First time I've done that. 300k manpower for one achievement.

Portugal, demonym: Portuguese, capital: Sydney.

It's cool how quickly people blob in central Europe when you dismantle the HRE. Within a few years Ulm has six provinces,
Brandenburg is belatedly going for Germany, and everything on the Franco-German border keeps changing hands.
Batavia may appreciate this too.

The Mamlukes are trying to do all the things a nation can do in this one game, including being destroyed, declaring independence through separatist rebels, and converting to Christianity.

Hilarious.

Oh my... It's beautiful!

[Anywhere Else But Here]

"This continent ain't big enough for both of us." First time I've done that. 300k manpower for one achievement.

Portugal, demonym: Portuguese, capital: Sydney.

It's cool how quickly people blob in central Europe when you dismantle the HRE. Within a few years Ulm has six provinces,
Brandenburg is belatedly going for Germany, and everything on the Franco-German border keeps changing hands.
Batavia may appreciate this too.

The Mamlukes are trying to do all the things a nation can do in this one game, including being destroyed, declaring independence through separatist rebels, and converting to Christianity.

Hilarious.

YOU NO PLAY WITH CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION DLC?!
HOW DARE YOU?

I've only just picked up the Cossacks and Rights of Man (and I'm finishing this game before switching them on). I've no time or money for Cradling my Civilisations.

[Bralia]

Something fairly big that wasn't actually mentioned in the Stellaris DD itself, all basic weapon types will be available to you at the start of the game. No more choosing during the species customization. No more waiting for the tech to come around.

[Herador]

Something fairly big that wasn't actually mentioned in the Stellaris DD itself, all basic weapon types will be available to you at the start of the game. No more choosing during the species customization. No more waiting for the tech to come around.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I get why, but I kind of liked the idea that your species would have chosen a big one to go with. Always kind of made sense to me from a fluff point of view.

[Genivaria]

Wait what?

BOOM!

I LOVE IT!

I wonder what each of them gives the player, what they change

Well we know what one of them does.

[Ism]

Knights of Santiago just formed. The Infidels will tremble.

How?

Well they're not free per say. But, they only cost me 6.5 piety. So that's nice.

I mean, holy orders are always free when defending against infidels, just not when attacking. Which I forget way too often so I only take advantage of it half the time, but hey.

Also what the fuck is the HRE doing with two provinces in Spain.

They formed and I checked to see if I could vassalize them, not really expecting to be able to. Truly, their formation was a godsend. As for the HRE, I think they won a couple of holy wars against the Moors awhile back, before my vassals and I pushed back the minor Moorish lords.

How?


I mean, holy orders are always free when defending against infidels, just not when attacking. Which I forget way too often so I only take advantage of it half the time, but hey.

Also what the fuck is the HRE doing with two provinces in Spain.

He's two ranks higher and their de jure liege with I assume the same culture and religion so they'll accept a vassalization offer.

I'm actually not their de jure liege. I think they accept because of "power: +++++" modifier mostly. I'm not questioning it though. I might finally be able to finish the Reconquista. At least as far as the Moors are concerned.

Knights of Santiago just formed. The Infidels will tremble.

Directly vassalizing a holy order is the greatest thing. I had a Fatimid game where I vassalized the Assassins and their strength made a big difference.

Well the Knights of Santiago aren't too powerful, they only have 2100 troops. But 2100 soldiers I don't have to pay upkeep for is nothing to sneeze at.

[Bralia]

Little did Grenartia know that their dick had already been chopped off and replaced with a rubber chicken so he they wouldn't notice. Soon . . . very soon . . . he they will be taking a trip to China.

Little did the Queen know that wasn't me, that was my lookalike, and that I'll still go to China, and cuck everyone there. And that I'll be on constant guard for any dick-snipping attempts.

Shit. I knew enough to fix the first pronoun, but I totally forgot about the others. That was some serious sleep deprived mind-fuckery what happened to me there, my apologies.

[The Batavia]

I wonder what each of them gives the player, what they change

Well we know what one of them does.

*Stalin intensifes*

[Ifreann]

I wonder what each of them gives the player, what they change

Well we know what one of them does.

Death before retreat!

[The Huskar Social Union]

Well we know what one of them does.

Death before retreat!

Fight on warriors!

[Ifreann]

Death before retreat!

Fight on warriors!

Qapla', gentlemen! Qapla'!

[Ism]

This is almost too easy.

[Wallenburg]

The Pope just declared war on me because I declared war on heretics.

WTF.

[Ism]

The Pope just declared war on me because I declared war on heretics.

WTF.

Defensive pact shenanigans?

[Nature-Spirits]

The Pope just declared war on me because I declared war on heretics.

WTF.

Defensive pact shenanigans?

Honestly I think the idea of defensive pacts is good but the execution is fucking terrible.

Are there any mods that rework it, actually?

[Genivaria]

The Pope just declared war on me because I declared war on heretics.

WTF.

Time to make an Anti-Pope.

[Ism]

So, there is a very real chance I'll be able to have 3 holy orders vassalized in the near future. Hispania might be overpowered, at least as far as Catholic empires go.

[Genivaria]

K so I find the EU4 battle mechanics to be very frustrating.
I had 3 15k stacks descend on an enemy army that was only 10k that was besieging a fort which gave the enemy a terrain disadvantage.
I have higher discipline, professionalism, and morale than the enemy nation.

My 45k enter battle and my morale drops by a quarter for some reason and by the end of the battle the enemy lost about 3k and I lost a whopping 10k despite having no disadvantages.

What the actual fuck.

This one battle just lost me the war as my forces dropped from 37k infantry to a measly 9k after the enemy army chased me down and stack-wiped me.

There is no reason this should've happened.

[Ism]

K so I find the EU4 battle mechanics to be very frustrating.
I had 3 15k stacks descend on an enemy army that was only 10k that was besieging a fort which gave the enemy a terrain disadvantage.
I have higher discipline, professionalism, and morale than the enemy nation.

My 45k enter battle and my morale drops by a quarter for some reason and by the end of the battle the enemy lost about 3k and I lost a whopping 10k despite having no disadvantages.

What the actual fuck.

Do they have better tech than you?

[Wallenburg]

The Pope just declared war on me because I declared war on heretics.

WTF.

Defensive pact shenanigans?

Yep. I thought he would refuse under the circumstances, but apparently he felt it was better to have my troops occupy Rome while I kicked his friend's ass.

Time to make an Anti-Pope.

Even better. The only explanation for his alliance with heretics is that he too is secretly a heretic! It's time for regime change.

[Genivaria]

K so I find the EU4 battle mechanics to be very frustrating.
I had 3 15k stacks descend on an enemy army that was only 10k that was besieging a fort which gave the enemy a terrain disadvantage.
I have higher discipline, professionalism, and morale than the enemy nation.

My 45k enter battle and my morale drops by a quarter for some reason and by the end of the battle the enemy lost about 3k and I lost a whopping 10k despite having no disadvantages.

What the actual fuck.

Do they have better tech than you?

They have 7 and I have 5 apparently.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Kill the Pope Jon snow, and let the Patriarchate be born.


Seriously though Wallen, kill the pope.

[Ism]

Do they have better tech than you?

They have 7 and I have 5 apparently.

That might be it. Bear in mind I'm no expert in EU4 combat mechanics. Or EU4 in general really. But, military tech level 7 is when cannons show up so that might explain it.

[Ithalian Empire]

They have 7 and I have 5 apparently.

That might be it. Bear in mind I'm no expert in EU4 combat mechanics. Or EU4 in general really. But, military tech level 7 is when cannons show up so that might explain it.

Seeing cannons fir the first time had to be a shit in pants sort of moment. Explains the morale drop.

[Ifreann]

Do they have better tech than you?

They have 7 and I have 5 apparently.

Combat mechanics are basically witchcraft, but in my experience a two tech advantage means near guaranteed victory with even numbers, and possible victory even with a numbers disadvantage.

You were fielding bows and pikes against handguns and cannons.