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Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

A coffee shop for those who like to discuss art, music, books, movies, TV, each other's own works, and existential angst.

Should Impaled Nazarene be declared eternal ruler and god-emperor of the paradox thread?

1. Yes master! HAIL NAZ!
11
9%
2. Remove me like you remove your kebabs daddy!
29
23%
3. In Huskar's Ice Picked Skull we trust!
36
29%
4. Bralia is a witch! BURN HER!!!
13
10%
5. Impaled Nazarene for General Secretary of the Global Communist Party!
11
9%
6. We are 'men of Science we'll let (Rigged) RNStalin decide! (obligatory joke option)
26
21%
 
Total votes : 126

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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Paradox Games VII: Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg

Postby Genivaria » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:03 pm

"Greetings to the esteemed people of the Paradox Thread and all the forum who can hear my voice.
I am Genivaria, newly risen of the Emperor PDX Thread.

As I am sure all of you know, a large number of puppets with foreign backing tried to launch a syndicalist revolt two weeks ago.
To defend this wonderful community and thread, I was forced to take extreme measures.

However, had I not done so, the result would be red flags flying in the PDX Thread and every other Arts & FIction Thread in the Forum.
Innocent (Mostly) posters would've been banned from their own accounts.
Unarmed and disarmed Mods lined up against walls and trolled for all to see!
It was only by fighting with every weapon available, and every ounce of our strength, that we were able to stop the filthy Bolshe-I mean puppet spammers from coming to power!"

He paused to gather himself and continue.

"We are still fighting with puppets all across the forum!
Until the danger is well and truly crushed we will have to make even more sacrifices!
I spoke to the previous leaders, asking for their support.
They gave it to me without reservation, they voted unanimously to put the fight in my hands, and to let me do whatever is necessary to save our country from the horrors of a puppet takeover!
As a veteran of the last war I know, as so many of you do, just how terrible war is!
None of you who hear my voice could hate it more than I! But I also understand that if you must fight, you must fight as hard as you can, with nothing held back. To protect my people and my fatherland I am ready to do whatever I must! This is my sacred duty, not only as your supreme leader, but as a soldier!
And I will not let some damn Constitution, some scrap of paper, keep me from doing whatever I have to protect you and keep you safe!"

"But some say that obeying what was written down in that treaty is more important than the lives of my people! They say we must treat it like holy writ or else God will make us to suffer, or the Mods will.

I am sure that in General those are one and the same! I have received an ultimatum from Wallenburg, the self-appointed 'leader' of the aristocracy.
He demands that I resign my office, that we disarm all our soldiers, and throw away all our weapons.
He wants me to abandon my country and my people to the REDS, to let them win and murder us!
The Huskar Constitution is his God, and his God demands that all of the PDX Thread be his sacrifice!
He asks for me to run away, to save myself and let the reds win!
Well, this broadcast is being sent all over the Forum, maybe it is even being heard in their decadent Palace. If you are listening Monsieur Wallenburg, let me give you my answer."

He brought down his fist with a loud bang that could be heard clearly through the microphone.

"Never! That's my answer to you! You can stab me in the back while your puppet friends attacks me, but I won't abandon my duty!
I fought in the PDX WARS from the first shot to the last! I fought against Abbasids, Karlings, Aztecs, Ottomans, the Soviet Union, the Commonwealth, Austria, France, Japan, and a hundred other places besides.

And I never ran away! I never abandoned my soldiers! And may I burn in Hell for all of time if I do that now!

My people have a right to defend themselves!
We have a right to fight back against those who want to take everything from us! If your soldiers come here then we'll fight you!
We will fight on to the end.
We will fight you on the border, in the air and on the sea, we will fight in the fields and in the streets, we will fight in the hills and the forests; we shall never surrender!"

"And so we ask you, are you ready for a war?"

From the last iteration, a list of the community's favourite mods, paradox forum and support links and other assorted goodies such as past thread titles which are a joy to read through and more shall be added as this thread goes on, both titles, links etc :
Thread III:
Rise of Sexy Poland
Fusang is best Ang
I present to you - Squidcest
One Word - Genocide
Don't Check for Sex
Strongest argument for incest I've seen
Castrate the bugger
This game hates Jews
Square Memel will live on
THEOCRATIC BEAR DLC CONFIRMED
The Sheepbuggers have risen
Watch Huskar Love The French Navy
Conquer Scandinavia. Kill God.
Only Polan can save us from landing bears
Our allies are Colombia, Japan and ISIL.
Happy birthday, master castrator.
Rage crying intensifies.
>Error. Out of Quotes.
Jews are friends with benefits
Can we at least castrate him?
Do Jews get the castration option?
Is being evil a valid cacus belli?

Thread IV:
You dont vote for Kings
Now with 200% more xenocide
Altito Asmoro does not understand EU4
Pants simultaneously hitting the floor
Fair and unbiased Polling
Just wana have fun, murder the Duke of Leon
Thou Scullion of Babylon
All's Wales that ends Wales
Covertly infiltrating Reatra
The Lesbarchy rises
Eat him for Éire!

Thread V:
The HREmperor Strikes Back
Order Gore
Quivering Pile of Heresy
Make Space Great Again
A Truly Milky Way
Operation Overlord
Our Finest Hour
Smother Them In Their Cribs
Embrace The Potato
Copt A Feel
Can't Kill These Children Fast Enough
Who Murdered The Pope?
Spectre of Space Trotskyism
A Paradox Message: Go Vote. Don't Elect A 0/0/0 Leader
Sometimes, Evil Wins
Let's Talk About Sects
Cousins Were Sexier Back Then
Help! They're Coming For Me!
My Wine Tastes Funny . . .
This balcony doesn't see-----WAAAAGH
Oh baby! I love you so---*heart attack*

Thread VI:
Return of the Huskar
Filleting Children with a Spoon
Ulm, Ulm all the time
THREE FRIES SHORT OF A HAPPY MEAL WACKO!
Pure Vinegar of a Hungarian persuasion
Pure Glory of a Hungarian persuasion
Absolutely Celtic
Bordergore, bordergore never changes
Satanic decadence doesn't sound so bad now
Accidentally castrated my brother in a duel
Only Poland can save us from the Patriarchy
Fifty Shades of Huskar?
Let the Monocles hit the floor
Does this Unit have a soul?
The liberal agenda intensifies thusly
He who controls Riga controls the Universe!
THE ICE MUST FLOW
#ERROR#<CONTINGENCY PROTOCOL NOW IN EFFECT>
Arise, Sir Cancer, Lord of salt and smoke
That's what incest gets you
Real women like genocide and Death Stars


Thread VII: JINGO JUNGLE! LOS! LOS! LOS!
The Hour Of Yemen is at Hand
Naval Tactics Are Useless
Help Wanted: Nubile Virgins for bad heir
For the Emperor!!!
EU4: Missions. Just Missions.
Imperator Victoria III Confirmed!
No San Marino Marines?
Vicky III - Vicky Meets The Blorg



Last edited by Genivaria on Thu Jul 19, 2018 10:05 am, edited 56 times in total.

User avatar
Ism
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6152
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ism » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:12 pm

I suppose I'll repost this.

Bordergore: Origins

Oh, and uh, Hail Emperor Genivaria, long may he reign, etcetera etcetera.

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Bralia
Post Czar
 
Posts: 31517
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:12 pm

Ifreann wrote:
Genivaria wrote:I have never seen that message before, what is?

I have spies lurking behind every curtain in Konstantineyye.

Not that they're any fucking help.


Well fuck this, imma go play Tannenberg.

Damn. I wonder what made our games so different. I know for a fact that you're better than me at this game, so I must have gotten lucky.
Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

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The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59282
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:13 pm

You should ask mods to lock the other one, just link to me saying you were the next op if you need to as well

If spelling bad this post bleh kindle hands
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


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Falangian Europe
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 58
Founded: Jan 18, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Falangian Europe » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:16 pm

Huzzah! PD part VII has arrived!
*dies from assassination first week in the thread*

Internet cookie for those who get the reference
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Bralia
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Posts: 31517
Founded: Mar 07, 2010
Democratic Socialists

Postby Bralia » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:22 pm

The Huskar Social Union wrote:You should ask mods to lock the other one, just link to me saying you were the next op if you need to as well

If spelling bad this post bleh kindle hands

I already got it.
Romantic slut. Self-deprecating egotist. Benevolent communist.

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Versail
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5246
Founded: May 21, 2012
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Versail » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:25 pm

Heil dem neuen Führerin Genivaria!
Edit: Congratulations on the new thread geni.
Last edited by Versail on Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, Whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty or democracy?~ Gandhi.
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Ism
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6152
Founded: Oct 14, 2011
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Ism » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:29 pm

And so the old thread is locked. Sic transit gloria mundi.

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Wallenburg
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Posts: 22866
Founded: Jan 30, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Wallenburg » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:31 pm

"Wait, what?" says Wallenburg from the back of the room. "Since when was I French? Or the leader of some simultaneously aristocratic, pacifist, and revolutionary movement? Fear the words of this new Emperor, for he is quick to violence and illegitimate in claim! He has overturned the laws of succession to suit his own interests, out of fear that he cannot muster the support he needs from his fellow noblemen. He is a heretic and a charlatan, and the last person to trust in the darkest hours! You are not my liege lord. I know no king but the king by your side, whose name is Huskar. Now, excuse me, your Highness, as I run for the mountains of Generaillesemblie."

*scatters out of the hall*
While she had no regrets about throwing the lever to douse her husband's mistress in molten gold, Blanche did feel a pang of conscience for the innocent bystanders whose proximity had caused them to suffer gilt by association.

King of Snark, Real Piece of Work, Metabolizer of Oxygen, Old Man from The East Pacific, by the Malevolence of Her Infinite Terribleness Catherine Gratwick the Sole and True Claimant to the Bears Armed Vacancy, Protector of the Realm

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The Huskar Social Union
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 59282
Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:37 pm

Bralia wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:You should ask mods to lock the other one, just link to me saying you were the next op if you need to as well

If spelling bad this post bleh kindle hands

I already got it.

Cheers lass.
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


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Ifreann
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 163844
Founded: Aug 07, 2005
Iron Fist Socialists

Postby Ifreann » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:48 pm

Bralia wrote:
Ifreann wrote:I have spies lurking behind every curtain in Konstantineyye.

Not that they're any fucking help.


Well fuck this, imma go play Tannenberg.

Damn. I wonder what made our games so different. I know for a fact that you're better than me at this game, so I must have gotten lucky.

I never had a very good opportunity to attack the Ottomans until they got too strong. At least, not that I noticed.
He/Him

beating the devil
we never run from the devil
we never summon the devil
we never hide from from the devil
we never

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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:57 pm

Wallenburg wrote:"Wait, what?" says Wallenburg from the back of the room. "Since when was I French? Or the leader of some simultaneously aristocratic, pacifist, and revolutionary movement? Fear the words of this new Emperor, for he is quick to violence and illegitimate in claim! He has overturned the laws of succession to suit his own interests, out of fear that he cannot muster the support he needs from his fellow noblemen. He is a heretic and a charlatan, and the last person to trust in the darkest hours! You are not my liege lord. I know no king but the king by your side, whose name is Huskar. Now, excuse me, your Highness, as I run for the mountains of Generaillesemblie."

*scatters out of the hall*

I have eyes everywhere, no matter where you go I will be watching.

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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:58 pm

Bralia wrote:
The Huskar Social Union wrote:You should ask mods to lock the other one, just link to me saying you were the next op if you need to as well

If spelling bad this post bleh kindle hands

I already got it.

I appreciate that, I'm at work and restricted to a phone right now.

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Kernan
Minister
 
Posts: 3128
Founded: Mar 29, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Kernan » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:28 pm

I am waiting to play EU4 again until I get the new expansion. Then im gonna kick some Otto butt.
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Minister of Armed Forces: Gregori Stocker
Minister of Intelligence: Peskov Portfifiry
Minister of Internal Affairs: Vicktor Yakovich
Foreign Affairs: Tratzyav Ulanzo
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Socialism 100
Tenderness 25

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Ifreann
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 163844
Founded: Aug 07, 2005
Iron Fist Socialists

Postby Ifreann » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:28 pm

Kernan wrote:I am waiting to play EU4 again until I get the new expansion. Then im gonna kick some Otto butt.

Yes, if we all gang up on the Ottomans we can take them!
He/Him

beating the devil
we never run from the devil
we never summon the devil
we never hide from from the devil
we never

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Wisconsin9
Post Czar
 
Posts: 35753
Founded: May 18, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Wisconsin9 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:39 pm

The thread is locked! Long live the thread!
~~~~~~~~
We are currently 33% through the Trump administration.
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Renoa
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Founded: Apr 19, 2013
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Renoa » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:27 pm

I don't like this new OP. It's... unwieldy.

Genivaria wrote:He paused to gather herself and continue.

He ground her teeth down.

Wot u playin at m8.
It's been several years and I'm still the Paradox Thread's Self-Appointed Court Chaplain. No one's ever asked but I thought you should know.

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The Huskar Social Union
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Founded: Apr 04, 2012
Left-wing Utopia

Postby The Huskar Social Union » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:30 pm

Renoa wrote:I don't like this new OP. It's... unwieldy.

Genivaria wrote:He paused to gather herself and continue.

He ground her teeth down.

Wot u playin at m8.

Yeah geni you should probably refine it when you can.

Some parts are... odd. Maybe shorten it a bit, add a bit more ooc stuff
Irish Nationalist from Belfast / Leftwing / Atheist / Alliance Party voter
"I never thought in terms of being a leader, i thought very simply in terms of helping people" - John Hume 1937 - 2020



I like Miniature painting, Tanks, English Gals, Video games and most importantly Cheese.


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Lunas Legion
Post Czar
 
Posts: 31056
Founded: Jan 21, 2013
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Lunas Legion » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:32 pm

So, in new news, I now despise nomads. Ffffffucking raiders.

Also trying to make Mini China is hard.
Last edited by William Slim Wed Dec 14 1970 10:35 pm, edited 35 times in total.

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Harbertia
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Founded: Apr 30, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Harbertia » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:54 pm

I played Victoria II for the first time today.

I couldn't decide between the great powers, so I choose Mexico.

I didn't know how to raise an army and it took me a few turns to realize how to occupy lands.

I tried to keep the US out of the war, and it worked for a time till Great Britian got involved and the US was like "Monroe Doctrine" and insisted I make peace with Texas (via a Status Quo peace treaty).

----

My second national attempt was better.

I choose The Kingdom of Hawaii.

I made it to 1853 after various failed attempts at balancing the budget. How did the game end? I was annexed by the USA which had yet to go into a civil war nor take California from Mexico.

My game ended with me being annexed. Still I was meeting all needs of my citizens, had no national debt, and in fact the Ottoman Empire owed a debt to the Kingdom of Hawaii. The only thing in the way of being a Civilized Nation was the lack of enough prestige and military points. I had the technology.

But spent most of my diplomatic points trying to impress Great Britain, when I should have been saving them to get out of America's sphere of influence (which I should have seen coming).

----

Present attempt: Papal States (Prussia proved too complex for my newbie experience)

Edit: I have Windows XP and could not play Europa Universalist IV or Hearts of Iron IV because those games require Windows 7 or newer.
Last edited by Harbertia on Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Tomorrow is made today.
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Paketo
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 12281
Founded: Jul 31, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Paketo » Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:59 pm

Last edited by Paketo on Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Emilio Aguinaldo wrote:
Paketo wrote:
Oh god, the universe will explode, everyone to your bunkers

Yep, this is the type of "discussion" we have over here. Serious people beware, this place is filled with these things.

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Polar Svalbard
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Posts: 3642
Founded: Mar 28, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Polar Svalbard » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:06 pm

*bows head*
My new liege
Member of The Western Isles
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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 69943
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Genivaria » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:40 pm

The Huskar Social Union wrote:
Renoa wrote:I don't like this new OP. It's... unwieldy.


Wot u playin at m8.

Yeah geni you should probably refine it when you can.

Some parts are... odd. Maybe shorten it a bit, add a bit more ooc stuff

Will edit when I get home.

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Great Nepal
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Posts: 28677
Founded: Jan 11, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Great Nepal » Sat Nov 18, 2017 5:56 pm

"There is no poll to celebrate the succession!? Clearly an omen that gods don't look favourably upon the new King"
*starts gifting China concubines for an invasion*
Last edited by Great Nepal on Sun Nov 29, 1995 7:02 am, edited 1 time in total.


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Bojikami
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Posts: 11276
Founded: Jul 24, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Bojikami » Sat Nov 18, 2017 6:21 pm

A new thread? I should probably start being active in these again.
Be gay, do crime.
23 year old nonbinary trans woman(She/They), also I'm a Marxist-Leninist.
Economic Left/Right: -10.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 2.33

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