NATION

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My novel

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Eleben
Secretary
 
Posts: 39
Founded: Dec 21, 2008
Democratic Socialists

My novel

Postby Eleben » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:26 pm

Ok, I know it's not great, but I would appreciate if you gave me your honest opinion about it and if you want to see more:

It's based in the land of Cambria, and it's a fantasy with Druids, Wizards and Knights. Enjoy ;)

STONES OF CAMBRIA

~Chapter One-Angelica and Dill~
The Wizard wore a long, white robe with a silver sash tied around his waist. He was deep in the bowels of the Forest searching for a patch of fresh Angelica, a carrot like herb that grew in this area of Eleben Forest. The sun shone down through the canopy of the trees, basking the Wizard with bright green light. The Wizard’s name was Akil Abano.
Akil was an Apprentice to the Village’s very own Gabriel Corring the Third. Akil had been assigned to collect a range of herbs in Eleben; he had a Vanilla pod, Cinnamon sticks, one clove of Garlic and a leaf of Oregano. He had only two more herbs left and he could leave the Forest at last. Akil didn’t like the Eleben Forest, the trees were very tall and he felt trapped. In addition, he kept imagining falling from the trees, he was afraid of heights.
Akil looked around again and saw nothing. He found a rock and sat down, not caring if he dirtied his silk robe. Akil leant against the trunk of a tree that the rock was propped against and sat there, thinking about his early life.
When Akil was two, Akil had unintentionally broken the roof of his hut. Wizards usually show signs of Magic at around four or five, but Akil was different. By the time he was eight, Akil went to ordinary magic lessons everyday. One day, Gabriel had discovered him and was impressed by his easy approach to Magic. Akil was Apprenticed to an actual, qualified Wizard.
Akil then allowed his mind to wander to when he first met his friends back in the Village. Benigno Xylander was his neighbour for a while, but both Akil and Benign (who everyone called Ben) were quite shy. One day, the first day of Akil’s Apprenticeship, Ben had been amazed by the scrolls he brought home. Akil knew that Ben could use Magic, but he didn’t take the idea of going to school everyday for eight years, there were holidays obviously.
When showing Ben the scrolls, Akil noticed he was interested in Nature related topics. After telling him that Wizards found it difficult to use Natural Spells, Ben decided to become a Druid. Ben was currently the only Apprentice Druid in the Village and under the Apprenticeship of Hella Vondover, only Druid Master in the Village.
After befriending Ben, the two were inseparable. Akil and Ben would show each other what they had learned, venture the Eleben Forest or just walk around the bustling village. One day, when buying vegetables, they had run into a boy on a horse who was buying carrots. Radu Cojocaru was his name. Radu was training to be a Knight, but he was friendly. Akil and Ben had taken an immediate like to him.
The three of them were quite contempt with the Village, the surrounding Forest, what they learned and trained for. Wizard, Druid and Knight. Nevertheless, they longed for more, to venture and see the rest of the land. What lay beyond the expanse of the trees was what Akil longed for.
Akil sat bolt upright, he had dozed off, but not for long, the sun still shone on the cloudless, blue winter sky. But Akil only woke when something woke him. He stood up warily, looking around and slowly walking around, looking for Angelica. Akil looked around bored, grass everywhere. He climbed over a fallen, rotting tree when he saw it. The Angelica was here.
They looked like carrots; the leaves were exactly as he had studied in the Study back in Gabriel’s. He walked over and pulled one out, he looked glad. Root of Angelica. All he needed now was Leaf of Dill and- snap!
Akil stood up in a shot. What was that snap, it sounded like a twig snapping. Snap! There it was again, whatever it was, it made Akil feel scared. So he quickened his pace. Then he heard a growl, a horrible bloodcurdling growl. Akil saw a flash of grey in the corner of his eye. He turned around and he saw wolves, four wolves behind him, trying to get over the log Akil had climbed not so long ago. Another wolf was beside him looking at him longingly, hungrily.
Raising a shaky hand, Akil whispered a Spell he had learned a few weeks ago. He looked around to see if there was water. There was none, excellent. The Spell was useless near water. Akil began to recite the Spell.
“Thank the heavens there is no rain, make my enemy feel fake pain,” he whispered, thinking who the enemy was. What sounded like a heavy sigh and then a flash of yellow, the wolves began wailing in pain. If there was water, its healing properties would cancel out the Spell, rejuvenating the enemy completely. Without a second thought, Akil ran at top speed. The feeling of fake pain would ware off eventually and the wolves would sniff him out.
Akil hopped over logs and jumped over small streams. He knew the way to the Village; he had left a trail of small spheres that let out small tufts of yellow smoke when he came near. The wolves howled behind him, the sound made the hairs on the back of Akil’s neck stand. At last, he reached the unmistakable trail that the Villagers had worn on their trips into the Forest. Akil followed the trail and all of a sudden, he felt safe. This was what was felt when entering the Village’s boundaries, the Safety Spell that was put up to protect the Villagers from dangers from the creatures of Eleben.
As the trail progressed, the trees thinned out. Eventually Akil reached the Village. The Village had only a few trees. It was a great spot for tourists. No cobblestone paths or stony buildings. The Villagers lived in wooden huts, paths were trails worn out by the Villagers feet and the Villagers regularly kept the grass cut, as it was everywhere, like living on a field.
He was now in the Village Square, where the Villagers shopped and traded items or food. The buildings were small and wooden like the huts. People were selling unwanted items and buying wanted items. Clothes, hats, food, animals, scrolls and books. Akil walked through and walked down the trail to the Magic Field. The Magic Field was an area that the Magic families lived in. Akil saw the huts with smoke coming from the chimneys and saw Ben talking to Radu in front of his house. When he caught sight of Akil, he waved brightly.
Ben was wearing a mud brown robe with a leaf green sash. Ben’s hair was short and brown, as were his eyes and his face was always in a kind expression. His skin was tanned and dotted with many freckles.
Radu was wearing a sky blue tunic with black cotton trousers. Radu had short, blond hair and crystal blue eyes. His face, like Ben’s, always took on an expression of kindness.
“Hey Akil,” he said cheerfully, Radu turned and smiled, “How was the trip into the Forest?”
“It was going alright, until the wolves,” Akil replied.
“Wolves? You were attacked by wolves in broad daylight?” Radu sounded incredulous.
“I used a False Pain Spell. I made it to the Village boundaries and I was safe,” Akil said quickly, “Anyway, I didn’t get one herb, leaf of Dill so I won’t get top marks,”
Ben took out a small burlap sack and untied the string on the top of it. He fished out about six flowers of Dill. He plucked a leaf from one and handed it to Akil.
“Ben, I can’t, you spent a long time getting them probably and-”
“Just take it, it’s just a leaf,” he laughed.
Akil took the leaf gratefully and put it in a pocket in his robe. Then he, Radu and Joseph went inside Akil’s house. Akil put the herbs in small jars with the names on them. Akil was efficient.

* * *
The sun was setting, casting long shadows of the surrounding trees onto the Village. Ben had finally stretched and decided he better head to bed. After all, he was learning the Art of Air at six in the morning. Akil waved goodnight and entered his hut. Ben and Akil’s huts were the same as all the huts. You entered an open doorway into a room that was neither kitchen nor sitting room. It was a crossover, bookshelves and fluffy armchairs with a kitchen table and a furnace for cooking. Then open doors led into a number of bedrooms and a bathroom.
The sun set behind the trees and the evening became twilight, when the sun shines through the trees giving the Village a green hue. Radu lived on the other side of the Village, in the Village Field, where non-Magical folk lived. Radu sat outside his house on a swing chair. He longed to have a friend next door like Akil and Ben. Mrs. Green the Librarian lived beside Radu.
Eventually, the soft green of twilight became the dark of night and Radu headed to bed. The moon rose high in the sky, in two days it would be full. Radu hated the full moon for one reason, Moon Day. Akil also had to suffer the night of Moon Day. Moon Day was when the Druids were at the height of Aquatic Power and the energy inside them was unbearable. Ben would stay up all night and Akil and Radu would naturally be woken to spend the night watching him release the Art of Water. Unfortunately, there was no water close to the Village, so Ben used the Art of Water on small glasses of water.
It was the shouting and the soft purple light shining on his face that woke him up. Radu rubbed his eyes and sat up in anger. Who was outside shouting and making that annoying purple glow?
He heard his mother and his sister walking outside and decided to follow. He walked through the front room and there was Akil and Ben.
“There you are! Wow, you’re a heavy sleeper, we were waiting for what was it Akil?” Ben blabbed.
“It was just five minutes Radu,” Akil said flatly.
“What exactly is going on beside my house!” Radu yelled angrily. He stormed pass the two and headed next door to what used to be an empty field. It was no longer empty.

User avatar
Tambaji
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jun 17, 2009
Ex-Nation

Re: My novel

Postby Tambaji » Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:42 pm

Hm, it's really good. Write more!


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