Summer 2016 Nationstates Short Story Contest

[USS Monitor]

The problem is that the previous contest died hard (but ultimately wrapped up okay-ish, albeit a year late), and then someone with no previous experience hosting these contests started a new one immediately, in a different format than usual, without taking any steps whatsoever to avoid the problems of the previous contest (i.e. lack of judges).

I broadly agree, with the qualification that the problem last time was more or less that even though we had back-up judges, the back-ups fell through too. The problems, to some extent, started with the one I judged (from the start anyway) where two of the three judges were very slow (myself included), but the difference then was that the slow judges finished what they started.

To some extent, it is possible these contests became victims of their own success and ended up with too many entries to be able to find a replacement judge (task too daunting) as we used to do prior to the last three (this one included), and we always managed because we always needed one.

I think the only way to fix things is a culture shift -- judgements and entries each coming in at the same time, with a say 30 day entry period and a target for contest end another 30 days after that. Deadlines work. Even when social guilt is the only harm of failure.

The first one I hosted I deliberately made a long deadline to make sure we got a good crop of entries, because the one Jenrak hosted the deadline had to be extended due to a lack of entries. When judging got unmanageable, I tried making the deadlines a bit shorter, but maybe should have been more aggressive about shortening it. It's hard to find the right balance.

[The Grene Knyght]

You know, since some of us still care, can't we just try rating each other's stories?

sounds good to me. Maybe we could set up a ballot?

[The first Galactic Republic]

You know, since some of us still care, can't we just try rating each other's stories?

sounds good to me. Maybe we could set up a ballot?

We don't even need judges. Just have everyone rate one or more stories? Maybe a few people? Just stick to the guide in the OP and there you have it.

Better than what's happening now.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

sounds good to me. Maybe we could set up a ballot?

We don't even need judges. Just have everyone rate one or more stories? Maybe a few people? Just stick to the guide in the OP and there you have it.

Better than what's happening now.

That would be a reasonable way to get some feedback, but it's not a great way to determine a winner.

We could give it a try, though.

[The first Galactic Republic]

We don't even need judges. Just have everyone rate one or more stories? Maybe a few people? Just stick to the guide in the OP and there you have it.

Better than what's happening now.

That would be a reasonable way to get some feedback, but it's not a great way to determine a winner.

We could give it a try, though.

Some feedback is better than nothing, and the OP probably would have accepted anyone who volunteered as a judge anyway.

[USS Monitor]

That would be a reasonable way to get some feedback, but it's not a great way to determine a winner.

We could give it a try, though.

Some feedback is better than nothing, and the OP probably would have accepted anyone who volunteered as a judge anyway.

The point of having separate judges is to have people that don't have a horse in the race, so they are impartial, and for everyone to have their stories scored by the same judges. That way if one judge is just harsher than another, nobody is at a disadvantage because they got the harsher judge.

It's not about getting any special expertise, just making it as fair as possible to all the contestants.

[The first Galactic Republic]

Some feedback is better than nothing, and the OP probably would have accepted anyone who volunteered as a judge anyway.

The point of having separate judges is to have people that don't have a horse in the race, so they are impartial, and for everyone to have their stories scored by the same judges. That way if one judge is just harsher than another, nobody is at a disadvantage because they got the harsher judge.

It's not about getting any special expertise, just making it as fair as possible to all the contestants.

Look if this was the intended idea here, it failed. There is no judging or critiquing going on.

All I want now is for the people who worked hard on their stories to get some of the feedback they were expecting. I think my plan is the only thing that might actually happen. If we couldn't get judges weeks ago what's going to change now.

Let's just admit that this contest was a failure so was can stop treating it as a contest. Anyone can be objective and impartial in their reviews of the posted stories if they're not thinking about "winning".

[USS Monitor]

The point of having separate judges is to have people that don't have a horse in the race, so they are impartial, and for everyone to have their stories scored by the same judges. That way if one judge is just harsher than another, nobody is at a disadvantage because they got the harsher judge.

It's not about getting any special expertise, just making it as fair as possible to all the contestants.

Look if this was the intended idea here, it failed. There is no judging or critiquing going on.

All I want now is for the people who worked hard on their stories to get some of the feedback they were expecting. I think my plan is the only thing that might actually happen. If we couldn't get judges weeks ago what's going to change now.

Let's just admit that this contest was a failure so was can stop treating it as a contest. Anyone can be objective and impartial in their reviews of the posted stories if they're not thinking about "winning".

I'm not the OP, and I am not in charge. I'm just explaining the reasoning of why past contests were set up the way they were, and why "they would have accepted anyone who volunteered" is missing the point. You can do whatever you want.

If you just want feedback and not a contest, you can always use the writing discussion thread. You might have to dig a few pages down to find it cos it's been quiet lately, but I'd be happy to see it dug up.

[The first Galactic Republic]

Look if this was the intended idea here, it failed. There is no judging or critiquing going on.

All I want now is for the people who worked hard on their stories to get some of the feedback they were expecting. I think my plan is the only thing that might actually happen. If we couldn't get judges weeks ago what's going to change now.

Let's just admit that this contest was a failure so was can stop treating it as a contest. Anyone can be objective and impartial in their reviews of the posted stories if they're not thinking about "winning".

I'm not the OP, and I am not in charge. I'm just explaining the reasoning of why past contests were set up the way they were, and why "they would have accepted anyone who volunteered" is missing the point. You can do whatever you want.

If you just want feedback and not a contest, you can always use the writing discussion thread. You might have to dig a few pages down to find it cos it's been quiet lately, but I'd be happy to see it dug up.

This thread can also be used for the stories that have been submitted yes?

[Free Swiss States]

I am willing to withdraw my entry and act as judge, since I have read all the other stories. I think a ballot system would be fine too... I mean yeah it's not as impartial, but there's really not anything at stake here.

[Free Swiss States]

Since no one countered my offer I went ahead and assigned scores and gave feedback for all the stories entered in the contest. I hope no one takes the scores too seriously, as I really didn't put all that much thought in to them... I was mostly concerned with trying to give solid feedback to what were some fantastic stories! Hopefully this contest will be better organized in the future.

Best Story: OMEGA.exe by The Grene Knyght

---

Footprints by Evilland of Evil Business
Genre: Abstract

Characters: 50
Plot: 30
Setting: 60
Creativity: 60
Style and Mechanics: 90

Score: 58/100

This is an interesting, atmospheric story, though it suffers from an ill fit with the contest rubric. The main character’s voice comes through clearly, and I do think there is a sense of progression and character growth – but not enough to warrant a higher score. There is no real plot in the conventional sense of the term (that said, there is a narrative and I think it is executed well). There is no defined setting for the story, but there is a smartly crafted atmosphere or “mood.” Overall, I think the main strength of this story comes from an excellent use of sentence rhythm. The author uses a variety of stylistic tools such as repetition of sound, sentence length, and variation of syntax, in order to create a gentle but pressing rhythm which is pleasing to the inner ear. There is not much which “occurs” in this story, but it was a joy to read.

---

OMEGA.exe by The Grene Knyght
Genre: Science Fiction

Characters: 80
Plot: 90
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 100

Score: 88/100

I adored this story. The unique way in which it is told is both interesting and totally functional – I could not give less than a perfect score in Style and Mechanics for what is, in my opinion, a perfectly executed stylistic technique. The writing, which resembles lines of code in a computer, is a great way to introduce the the setting and characters without delving into unnecessary description. Phrases such as “Loading…” and “Downloading…” lend themselves well to the story’s pacing. In terms of creativity and characters, I could not give higher scores simply because I’ve seen so many variations of this theme in science fiction. That said, I’ve never seen this done with such panache. Overall: strong premise, perfect execution.

---

Penelope by Anollasia
Genre: Literary Fiction

Characters: 90
Plot: 80
Setting: 40
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 30

Score: 64/100

An intriguing story which I think could serve well as the start for a larger work. I felt that the author developed a strong cast of characters with an economy of words, so I gave high marks for that. The plot moved quickly and held my attention easily – the escalating ridiculousness of the situation gave the story a pleasant, humorous tone. Overall I think the story’s main drawbacks were a lack of well-developed setting, and some grammar and syntax mistakes (which could be ironed out through editing). Would love to see this continued.

---

Kiros by Ruclax
Genre: Fantasy

Characters: 70
Plot: 40
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 20

Score: 60/100

I found this story intriguing, although it was a little difficult to follow. I think this might be because of the presentation format – just a block of text in the forum post. The strengths of this story are clear – the author has an eye for description, and I got the sense of a lush, fantastical world with plenty of lore behind it. The setting felt vibrant and colorful, and benefited from rich description, though at times the author may have went a bit purple. In terms of plot, I feel bad that I gave a low score, but quite simply I found it a little hard to follow the story and to decipher what exactly was happening. I think a good edit for clarity could really make this story much stronger. Overall, a very intriguing premise, evoking a sense of mysticism and mysteriousness.

---

All Stars Fade by The first Galactic Republic
Genre: Fantasy

Characters: 80
Plot: 100
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 60

Score: 82/100

Really fun story and I could definitely see this being spun off into a larger work. The narrative is fast-paced with plenty of action, as well as some interesting character revelations. The setting is smartly implied and there is definitely the sense of larger world. The main characters in the story have understandable and relatable motives – although I would have liked to see greater exploration of minor characters such as the bandit leader (who seems to just be moustache-twirling evil). I do feel like the ending came rather abruptly, but I’m guessing that was a consequence of the word limit. The only area I felt was weak was in style and mechanics, as the story could use some grammar fixing and general polishing. Overall, great story, and perhaps the start of something even better!

---

Untitled by The Arabian Knights
Genre: Absurdist

Characters: 0
Plot: 10
Setting: 0
Creativity: 30
Style and Mechanics: 80

Score: 24/100

If this was a contest for micro-fiction, then the entry would have been far more successful. As it is, this entry cannot satisfy the criteria of the rubric – which calls for a well-developed setting, plot, and cast of characters. In terms of creativity, it is worth a chuckle but I have seen variations of this work before in other micro-fiction, so I gave it relatively low marks. The entry scored highest on the Style and Mechanics section of the rubric, as the bold font and larger text served well in emphasizing the humorous intention of the post.

---

The Garden by Respubliko de Libereco
Genre: Fantasy/Horror

Characters: 50
Plot: 60
Setting: 100
Creativity: 100
Style and Mechanics: 70

Score: 76/100

An exotic story with a lot of interesting things happening. The author has a well-developed use of description which creates an unsettling, almost Lovecraftian feel for the story. The garden itself feels alien and bizarre – I think the story deserves a perfect score in setting for the way in which it renders not just the look but the general feel of the place. In terms of creativity, I loved the way in which the story appealed to the reader’s senses of smell and taste, which are so often neglected in writing. The only real weakness, I feel, is that the author may have been too overzealous in the use of vocabulary – things are rarely described in simple terms, the moon is “naked and barren,” the night sky a “sepulchral arch.” As it is, there is not much sense of contrast (in terms of word usage) between the unfathomable garden and its more mundane surroundings. I personally feel a stronger story could be crafted by using simpler descriptions, initially, to highlight a greater contrast between the trudging desert and the mysterious, exotic, garden. That said, this suggestion may simple be a matter of preference. Overall, well worth the read.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

The Garden by Respubliko de Libereco
Genre: Fantasy/Horror

Characters: 50
Plot: 60
Setting: 100
Creativity: 100
Style and Mechanics: 70

Score: 76/100

An exotic story with a lot of interesting things happening. The author has a well-developed use of description which creates an unsettling, almost Lovecraftian feel for the story. The garden itself feels alien and bizarre – I think the story deserves a perfect score in setting for the way in which it renders not just the look but the general feel of the place. In terms of creativity, I loved the way in which the story appealed to the reader’s senses of smell and taste, which are so often neglected in writing. The only real weakness, I feel, is that the author may have been too overzealous in the use of vocabulary – things are rarely described in simple terms, the moon is “naked and barren,” the night sky a “sepulchral arch.” As it is, there is not much sense of contrast (in terms of word usage) between the unfathomable garden and its more mundane surroundings. I personally feel a stronger story could be crafted by using simpler descriptions, initially, to highlight a greater contrast between the trudging desert and the mysterious, exotic, garden. That said, this suggestion may simple be a matter of preference. Overall, well worth the read.

Thanks for the feedback. I should write up some feedback as well, if I can find time. I did kinda volunteer to be a backup judge, after all.

EDIT: I think you're right about the writing being a bit overwrought - I do generally tend to wobble dangerously between "slightly excessive language" and "purple prose," and this work in particular was experimental and partly about seeing what I could get away with.

[Equestria and Griffon]

Since no one countered my offer I went ahead and assigned scores and gave feedback for all the stories entered in the contest. I hope no one takes the scores too seriously, as I really didn't put all that much thought in to them... I was mostly concerned with trying to give solid feedback to what were some fantastic stories! Hopefully this contest will be better organized in the future.

Best Story: OMEGA.exe by The Grene Knyght

---

Footprints by Evilland of Evil Business
Genre: Abstract

Characters: 50
Plot: 30
Setting: 60
Creativity: 60
Style and Mechanics: 90

Score: 58/100

This is an interesting, atmospheric story, though it suffers from an ill fit with the contest rubric. The main character’s voice comes through clearly, and I do think there is a sense of progression and character growth – but not enough to warrant a higher score. There is no real plot in the conventional sense of the term (that said, there is a narrative and I think it is executed well). There is no defined setting for the story, but there is a smartly crafted atmosphere or “mood.” Overall, I think the main strength of this story comes from an excellent use of sentence rhythm. The author uses a variety of stylistic tools such as repetition of sound, sentence length, and variation of syntax, in order to create a gentle but pressing rhythm which is pleasing to the inner ear. There is not much which “occurs” in this story, but it was a joy to read.

---

OMEGA.exe by The Grene Knyght
Genre: Science Fiction

Characters: 80
Plot: 90
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 100

Score: 88/100

I adored this story. The unique way in which it is told is both interesting and totally functional – I could not give less than a perfect score in Style and Mechanics for what is, in my opinion, a perfectly executed stylistic technique. The writing, which resembles lines of code in a computer, is a great way to introduce the the setting and characters without delving into unnecessary description. Phrases such as “Loading…” and “Downloading…” lend themselves well to the story’s pacing. In terms of creativity and characters, I could not give higher scores simply because I’ve seen so many variations of this theme in science fiction. That said, I’ve never seen this done with such panache. Overall: strong premise, perfect execution.

---

Penelope by Anollasia
Genre: Literary Fiction

Characters: 90
Plot: 80
Setting: 40
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 30

Score: 64/100

An intriguing story which I think could serve well as the start for a larger work. I felt that the author developed a strong cast of characters with an economy of words, so I gave high marks for that. The plot moved quickly and held my attention easily – the escalating ridiculousness of the situation gave the story a pleasant, humorous tone. Overall I think the story’s main drawbacks were a lack of well-developed setting, and some grammar and syntax mistakes (which could be ironed out through editing). Would love to see this continued.

---

Kiros by Ruclax
Genre: Fantasy

Characters: 70
Plot: 40
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 20

Score: 60/100

I found this story intriguing, although it was a little difficult to follow. I think this might be because of the presentation format – just a block of text in the forum post. The strengths of this story are clear – the author has an eye for description, and I got the sense of a lush, fantastical world with plenty of lore behind it. The setting felt vibrant and colorful, and benefited from rich description, though at times the author may have went a bit purple. In terms of plot, I feel bad that I gave a low score, but quite simply I found it a little hard to follow the story and to decipher what exactly was happening. I think a good edit for clarity could really make this story much stronger. Overall, a very intriguing premise, evoking a sense of mysticism and mysteriousness.

---

All Stars Fade by The first Galactic Republic
Genre: Fantasy

Characters: 80
Plot: 100
Setting: 90
Creativity: 80
Style and Mechanics: 60

Score: 82/100

Really fun story and I could definitely see this being spun off into a larger work. The narrative is fast-paced with plenty of action, as well as some interesting character revelations. The setting is smartly implied and there is definitely the sense of larger world. The main characters in the story have understandable and relatable motives – although I would have liked to see greater exploration of minor characters such as the bandit leader (who seems to just be moustache-twirling evil). I do feel like the ending came rather abruptly, but I’m guessing that was a consequence of the word limit. The only area I felt was weak was in style and mechanics, as the story could use some grammar fixing and general polishing. Overall, great story, and perhaps the start of something even better!

---

Untitled by The Arabian Knights
Genre: Absurdist

Characters: 0
Plot: 10
Setting: 0
Creativity: 30
Style and Mechanics: 80

Score: 24/100

If this was a contest for micro-fiction, then the entry would have been far more successful. As it is, this entry cannot satisfy the criteria of the rubric – which calls for a well-developed setting, plot, and cast of characters. In terms of creativity, it is worth a chuckle but I have seen variations of this work before in other micro-fiction, so I gave it relatively low marks. The entry scored highest on the Style and Mechanics section of the rubric, as the bold font and larger text served well in emphasizing the humorous intention of the post.

---

The Garden by Respubliko de Libereco
Genre: Fantasy/Horror

Characters: 50
Plot: 60
Setting: 100
Creativity: 100
Style and Mechanics: 70

Score: 76/100

An exotic story with a lot of interesting things happening. The author has a well-developed use of description which creates an unsettling, almost Lovecraftian feel for the story. The garden itself feels alien and bizarre – I think the story deserves a perfect score in setting for the way in which it renders not just the look but the general feel of the place. In terms of creativity, I loved the way in which the story appealed to the reader’s senses of smell and taste, which are so often neglected in writing. The only real weakness, I feel, is that the author may have been too overzealous in the use of vocabulary – things are rarely described in simple terms, the moon is “naked and barren,” the night sky a “sepulchral arch.” As it is, there is not much sense of contrast (in terms of word usage) between the unfathomable garden and its more mundane surroundings. I personally feel a stronger story could be crafted by using simpler descriptions, initially, to highlight a greater contrast between the trudging desert and the mysterious, exotic, garden. That said, this suggestion may simple be a matter of preference. Overall, well worth the read.

Thanks for scoring.

[The first Galactic Republic]

Yeah I really appreciate the effort. It's pretty much what I was talking about earlier, about how even if the contest kind of went defunct people could still get feedback.

Thank you very much.

[Anollasia]

Thank you for stepping up and judging, Free Swiss States. I agree with your feedback, after writing my story I noticed it would work better as a novel/novella.