Writing Discussion II

[The New World Oceania]

It's Bloomsday motherfuckers.

[Bezombia]

So now that I'm actually getting serious about writing a novella (expanding on a storyline I've been turning about in my head for years), I suppose it's also time I started contributing actual writing to this thread.

I posted screenshots of some of this earlier, but never the whole thing. This is the introduction/prologue to the novella as of now. It doesn't directly tie into the story, but thematically it sets the stage for what the rest of it will try to say.

The first thing a man knows upon birth is darkness. He hears, he smells, he feels, but he does not see. He finds, quickly, that he is safe -- he comes to love the sound of his mother's voice, the feel of his father's arms, long before he sees them at all. It is in this initial darkness that his brain takes its first step into true existence. Because of this, he learns to love the darkness. He sees it as offering the same comfort and peace that his mother's reassuring voice offered first.

Then the time comes in every man's life when he must first open his eyes. His brain tells him that he must, his instincts tell him that he must, for he cannot survive if he cannot see. The first thing the primordial man will see is light -- and this light scares him. He is not accustomed to the light, and seeks to return yet again to the comforting darkness. But he cannot, for it is no longer just his brain that says his eyes must be open. Soon, other people, larger people, will wish to see into his eyes, to find what they may contain. Soon he will realize that he will never again return to the pure darkness that he loved so much, and must remain forever in the foreign light.

But all is not lost. He will realize very soon that although he cannot permanently leave the light, he can shy away from it every now and then. He asks his brain, he asks the people outside, and they understand. Although his eyes will remain open for the world to see, he will never forget to close them between days, as a fleeting but necessary return to the darkness that he once knew so well.

Throughout his life, he will forget the brief peace he had with the darkness, and will begin to fear it as he once did the light. He will learn to love the light, spending every waking hour in it, and soon he will hate the darkness. He still returns to it nightly, but for sustenance, not peace. He will learn that he cannot spend too long within the darkness, or the world of the light will begin to move on without him. In fear of this, he will abandon all hope of ever truly returning to the dark, as he immerses himself within the light.

He will live the rest of his life like this. He will spend the majority of his time either enjoying the light or pretending to. But then yet again he will find, near the end of his life, a chance to return to the darkness. He will recall how he loved the darkness so many years ago, and he will yearn to return to it. His peers will not understand how he could so easily abandon the light, and he will not understand why they have abandoned the dark. And he will submit himself to the darkness, one last time.

This is the lie that every man believes when he is born, and this is the lie that every man believes until he dies.

I'm not really going for subtlety in the prologue (as opposed to the actual book, which will be far more subdued), but I not trying to be too overt either. More than anything, though, I'm trying to ensure that the point the story is making isn't lost within the mechanics and writing style, which is something that I couldn't really tell on my own (considering the mechanics and writing style will always seem 'normal' to me when reading it).

[Nazi Flower Power]

So now that I'm actually getting serious about writing a novella (expanding on a storyline I've been turning about in my head for years), I suppose it's also time I started contributing actual writing to this thread.

I posted screenshots of some of this earlier, but never the whole thing. This is the introduction/prologue to the novella as of now. It doesn't directly tie into the story, but thematically it sets the stage for what the rest of it will try to say.

The first thing a man knows upon birth is darkness. He hears, he smells, he feels, but he does not see. He finds, quickly, that he is safe -- he comes to love the sound of his mother's voice, the feel of his father's arms, long before he sees them at all. It is in this initial darkness that his brain takes its first step into true existence. Because of this, he learns to love the darkness. He sees it as offering the same comfort and peace that his mother's reassuring voice offered first.

Then the time comes in every man's life when he must first open his eyes. His brain tells him that he must, his instincts tell him that he must, for he cannot survive if he cannot see. The first thing the primordial man will see is light -- and this light scares him. He is not accustomed to the light, and seeks to return yet again to the comforting darkness. But he cannot, for it is no longer just his brain that says his eyes must be open. Soon, other people, larger people, will wish to see into his eyes, to find what they may contain. Soon he will realize that he will never again return to the pure darkness that he loved so much, and must remain forever in the foreign light.

But all is not lost. He will realize very soon that although he cannot permanently leave the light, he can shy away from it every now and then. He asks his brain, he asks the people outside, and they understand. Although his eyes will remain open for the world to see, he will never forget to close them between days, as a fleeting but necessary return to the darkness that he once knew so well.

Throughout his life, he will forget the brief peace he had with the darkness, and will begin to fear it as he once did the light. He will learn to love the light, spending every waking hour in it, and soon he will hate the darkness. He still returns to it nightly, but for sustenance, not peace. He will learn that he cannot spend too long within the darkness, or the world of the light will begin to move on without him. In fear of this, he will abandon all hope of ever truly returning to the dark, as he immerses himself within the light.

He will live the rest of his life like this. He will spend the majority of his time either enjoying the light or pretending to. But then yet again he will find, near the end of his life, a chance to return to the darkness. He will recall how he loved the darkness so many years ago, and he will yearn to return to it. His peers will not understand how he could so easily abandon the light, and he will not understand why they have abandoned the dark. And he will submit himself to the darkness, one last time.

This is the lie that every man believes when he is born, and this is the lie that every man believes until he dies.

I'm not really going for subtlety in the prologue (as opposed to the actual book, which will be far more subdued), but I not trying to be too overt either. More than anything, though, I'm trying to ensure that the point the story is making isn't lost within the mechanics and writing style, which is something that I couldn't really tell on my own (considering the mechanics and writing style will always seem 'normal' to me when reading it).

The style and mechanics aren't an issue. In fact, they're pretty good. But I did find myself questioning what this is going to add to the story and why you were telling us this stuff.

You know better than I do where you are going to go with the rest of the novella and what you want to accomplish with this project, so, as with all advice, feel free to ignore it and go your own way. I just think, "Do I really need to tell my readers this?" might be a better question than, "Is the style OK?"

[Bezombia]

So now that I'm actually getting serious about writing a novella (expanding on a storyline I've been turning about in my head for years), I suppose it's also time I started contributing actual writing to this thread.

I posted screenshots of some of this earlier, but never the whole thing. This is the introduction/prologue to the novella as of now. It doesn't directly tie into the story, but thematically it sets the stage for what the rest of it will try to say.

The first thing a man knows upon birth is darkness. He hears, he smells, he feels, but he does not see. He finds, quickly, that he is safe -- he comes to love the sound of his mother's voice, the feel of his father's arms, long before he sees them at all. It is in this initial darkness that his brain takes its first step into true existence. Because of this, he learns to love the darkness. He sees it as offering the same comfort and peace that his mother's reassuring voice offered first.

Then the time comes in every man's life when he must first open his eyes. His brain tells him that he must, his instincts tell him that he must, for he cannot survive if he cannot see. The first thing the primordial man will see is light -- and this light scares him. He is not accustomed to the light, and seeks to return yet again to the comforting darkness. But he cannot, for it is no longer just his brain that says his eyes must be open. Soon, other people, larger people, will wish to see into his eyes, to find what they may contain. Soon he will realize that he will never again return to the pure darkness that he loved so much, and must remain forever in the foreign light.

But all is not lost. He will realize very soon that although he cannot permanently leave the light, he can shy away from it every now and then. He asks his brain, he asks the people outside, and they understand. Although his eyes will remain open for the world to see, he will never forget to close them between days, as a fleeting but necessary return to the darkness that he once knew so well.

Throughout his life, he will forget the brief peace he had with the darkness, and will begin to fear it as he once did the light. He will learn to love the light, spending every waking hour in it, and soon he will hate the darkness. He still returns to it nightly, but for sustenance, not peace. He will learn that he cannot spend too long within the darkness, or the world of the light will begin to move on without him. In fear of this, he will abandon all hope of ever truly returning to the dark, as he immerses himself within the light.

He will live the rest of his life like this. He will spend the majority of his time either enjoying the light or pretending to. But then yet again he will find, near the end of his life, a chance to return to the darkness. He will recall how he loved the darkness so many years ago, and he will yearn to return to it. His peers will not understand how he could so easily abandon the light, and he will not understand why they have abandoned the dark. And he will submit himself to the darkness, one last time.

This is the lie that every man believes when he is born, and this is the lie that every man believes until he dies.

I'm not really going for subtlety in the prologue (as opposed to the actual book, which will be far more subdued), but I not trying to be too overt either. More than anything, though, I'm trying to ensure that the point the story is making isn't lost within the mechanics and writing style, which is something that I couldn't really tell on my own (considering the mechanics and writing style will always seem 'normal' to me when reading it).

The style and mechanics aren't an issue. In fact, they're pretty good. But I did find myself questioning what this is going to add to the story and why you were telling us this stuff.

You know better than I do where you are going to go with the rest of the novella and what you want to accomplish with this project, so, as with all advice, feel free to ignore it and go your own way. I just think, "Do I really need to tell my readers this?" might be a better question than, "Is the style OK?"

Well a story is only as good as its opening (and middle and closing and...), and considering the first quarter of the story itself is more or less build-up for the second half I needed some sort of opener that was interesting.

I'm planning on ending the story with a similarly-structured epilogue that's more closely relevant to the actual plot, but still thematically complete.

[Nazi Flower Power]

The style and mechanics aren't an issue. In fact, they're pretty good. But I did find myself questioning what this is going to add to the story and why you were telling us this stuff.

You know better than I do where you are going to go with the rest of the novella and what you want to accomplish with this project, so, as with all advice, feel free to ignore it and go your own way. I just think, "Do I really need to tell my readers this?" might be a better question than, "Is the style OK?"

Well a story is only as good as its opening (and middle and closing and...), and considering the first quarter of the story itself is more or less build-up for the second half I needed some sort of opener that was interesting.

I'm planning on ending the story with a similarly-structured epilogue that's more closely relevant to the actual plot, but still thematically complete.

Having a prologue is basically just adding more build-up.

[Zeinbrad]

So I'm trying to start a story, but I can't get myself to write it (I already have the entire chapter outlined in my head). I just keep on getting distracted.

Suggestions?

[Nazi Flower Power]

So I'm trying to start a story, but I can't get myself to write it (I already have the entire chapter outlined in my head). I just keep on getting distracted.

Suggestions?

Force yourself to start writing even if it feels awkward. If you really can't get yourself to write, even awkwardly, just set it aside and do other stuff until your brain gets unstuck.

[Bezombia]

Well a story is only as good as its opening (and middle and closing and...), and considering the first quarter of the story itself is more or less build-up for the second half I needed some sort of opener that was interesting.

I'm planning on ending the story with a similarly-structured epilogue that's more closely relevant to the actual plot, but still thematically complete.

Having a prologue is basically just adding more build-up.

Yes but it's thematic build-up versus plot build up.

Only one of those is necessary, sure, but the other is a helluva lot more interesting.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

Having a prologue is basically just adding more build-up.

Yes but it's thematic build-up versus plot build up.

Only one of those is necessary, sure, but the other is a helluva lot more interesting.

You really ought to do both at the same time. If you want the final product to seem united, there shouldn't be separate "plot" sections and "theme" sections.

[Bezombia]

Yes but it's thematic build-up versus plot build up.

Only one of those is necessary, sure, but the other is a helluva lot more interesting.

You really ought to do both at the same time. If you want the final product to seem united, there shouldn't be separate "plot" sections and "theme" sections.

There isn't, and of course everything in the actual story is both plot-heavy and theme-heavy, but the speed and weight of the latter has to take a backseat to the former or else the story will seem nonsensical - at least, for the first half.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

You really ought to do both at the same time. If you want the final product to seem united, there shouldn't be separate "plot" sections and "theme" sections.

There isn't, and of course everything in the actual story is both plot-heavy and theme-heavy, but the speed and weight of the latter has to take a backseat to the former or else the story will seem nonsensical - at least, for the first half.

That prologue certainly seems like a separate "theme" section.

[Bezombia]

There isn't, and of course everything in the actual story is both plot-heavy and theme-heavy, but the speed and weight of the latter has to take a backseat to the former or else the story will seem nonsensical - at least, for the first half.

That prologue certainly seems like a separate "theme" section.

Well yeah, as it's separate from the actual story. I've read similar layouts (prologues that provide either only thematic groundwork or only a plotty backstory, but not both) in many books.

[Italios]

I need your feedback, people. Is this NSG short story a good copy or does is need improvement?

[Bezombia]

I need your feedback, people. Is this NSG short story a good copy or does is need improvement?

Only thing I'll say is that it seems a little short. You're only at ~840 words and the limit is 6000.

[Italios]

I need your feedback, people. Is this NSG short story a good copy or does is need improvement?

Only thing I'll say is that it seems a little short. You're only at ~840 words and the limit is 6000.

Unfortunately, I've had trouble adding new things for it because it's pretty much modeled around an NSG year and I've gone through the cycle ~ any ideas on how to lengthen it?

[Respubliko de Libereco]

Only thing I'll say is that it seems a little short. You're only at ~840 words and the limit is 6000.

Unfortunately, I've had trouble adding new things for it because it's pretty much modeled around an NSG year and I've gone through the cycle ~ any ideas on how to lengthen it?

I didn't read the story, because I'm judging, but I'd like to point out that I have no expectation that the entries come anywhere close to the limit. Combined, my three entries in past contests total to 4178 words, which is still well under the limit.

If the story lacks substance, improve on it, but don't feel the need to make it longer purely for the sake of length.

[Nordengrund]

They say you should write what you like to read and what interests you.

A lot of what I like to read I do not like to write.

I like sci-fi books and movies, but when I try to write it I get bored with it pretty quickly.

I haven't read much gothic literature aside from Edgar Allan Poe and some Southern Gothic short stories in Creative Writing. I tried reading Frankenstein, but it could not keep my interest.

I have been told that I always preferred to write stuff that I particularly did not like because I felt I could do it better.

[Nazi Flower Power]

They say you should write what you like to read and what interests you.

A lot of what I like to read I do not like to write.

I like sci-fi books and movies, but when I try to write it I get bored with it pretty quickly.

I haven't read much gothic literature aside from Edgar Allan Poe and some Southern Gothic short stories in Creative Writing. I tried reading Frankenstein, but it could not keep my interest.

I have been told that I always preferred to write stuff that I particularly did not like because I felt I could do it better.

"Write what you like to read," and, "write what interests you," could be taken as separate pieces of advice.

[Saigonias]

May I ask for some criticism of my characters?

[Nazi Flower Power]

May I ask for some criticism of my characters?

You may.

Tell us about the characters.

[Bontavation]

May I ask for some criticism of my characters?

In this vein, anyone else got any character issues they wanna talk about? Most of this thread is about meta stuff - motivating yourself to write, being in writing contests, that sort of anything.

[The New World Oceania]

May I ask for some criticism of my characters?

In this vein, anyone else got any character issues they wanna talk about?

None for me. I have very few principles, but I stick to them.

[Conserative Morality]

In this vein, anyone else got any character issues they wanna talk about? Most of this thread is about meta stuff - motivating yourself to write, being in writing contests, that sort of anything.

I can't write innocence, I'm finding out. All of my characters seem to have a kind of cynicism that they either work to deny or embrace.

I think I have trouble conceiving the world in a purely idealist fashion. All I can think about are the logistics of everything. How, not why.

[Luminesa]

So I'm trying to start a story, but I can't get myself to write it (I already have the entire chapter outlined in my head). I just keep on getting distracted.

Suggestions?

Just sit down and start writing. It'll come out, and soon enough you'll be so caught in the groove you won't wanna stop.

What's your story about, by the way?

[Nazi Flower Power]

May I ask for some criticism of my characters?

In this vein, anyone else got any character issues they wanna talk about? Most of this thread is about meta stuff - motivating yourself to write, being in writing contests, that sort of anything.

Well, the CSS Virginia certainly has issues in the story I am working on now, but that's probably not what you meant.