Writing Discussion II

[Nordengrund]

I haven't written anything in awhile, so to get some inspiration, I try to come with something absurd (either a character or a premise), and write a story about it.

Not as absurd as I want it to be, but I think I will write about pirates and ninjas have war IN SPACE. Pirates invade the ninja world and they must defend it.

[Nariterrr]

I haven't written anything in awhile, so to get some inspiration, I try to come with something absurd (either a character or a premise), and write a story about it.

Not as absurd as I want it to be, but I think I will write about pirates and ninjas have war IN SPACE. Pirates invade the ninja world and they must defend it.

A pirate-ninja war seems pretty absurd if you ask me.

[Nordengrund]

I haven't written anything in awhile, so to get some inspiration, I try to come with something absurd (either a character or a premise), and write a story about it.

Not as absurd as I want it to be, but I think I will write about pirates and ninjas have war IN SPACE. Pirates invade the ninja world and they must defend it.

A pirate-ninja war seems pretty absurd if you ask me.

It's even more absurd that they are IN SPACE!

[Napkiraly]

I haven't written anything in awhile, so to get some inspiration, I try to come with something absurd (either a character or a premise), and write a story about it.

Not as absurd as I want it to be, but I think I will write about pirates and ninjas have war IN SPACE. Pirates invade the ninja world and they must defend it.

A pirate-ninja war seems pretty absurd if you ask me.

Absurdly awesome. Some of the best books are the cheesy pulp ones.

[Zeinbrad]

I haven't written anything in awhile, so to get some inspiration, I try to come with something absurd (either a character or a premise), and write a story about it.

Not as absurd as I want it to be, but I think I will write about pirates and ninjas have war IN SPACE. Pirates invade the ninja world and they must defend it.

A pirate-ninja war seems pretty absurd if you ask me.

Nothing wrong with absurd. We're writing fiction not...realtion.

[Shaggai]

A pirate-ninja war seems pretty absurd if you ask me.

Nothing wrong with absurd. We're writing fiction not...realtion.

Depends on the effect you're going for. Cheesy pulp is all good in its own way, but it's not everything.

[USS Monitor]

Nothing wrong with absurd. We're writing fiction not...realtion.

Depends on the effect you're going for. Cheesy pulp is all good in its own way, but it's not everything.

Nord's just using it to get his creative juices flowing. Seems fine for that.

[Shaggai]

Depends on the effect you're going for. Cheesy pulp is all good in its own way, but it's not everything.

Nord's just using it to get his creative juices flowing. Seems fine for that.

Sure. But it's not applicable to all fiction. Not that anybody was saying it was, but Zeinbrad's quote could be interpreted that way.

[Anywhere Else But Here]

God, I hate the present tense. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I'm a thousand words into a story in the first person present and already I want to slit my wrists.

[Respubliko de Libereco]

God, I hate the present tense. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I'm a thousand words into a story in the first person present and already I want to slit my wrists.

Choose a different tense, then? I assume no one's making you use the present tense.

[Anywhere Else But Here]

God, I hate the present tense. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I'm a thousand words into a story in the first person present and already I want to slit my wrists.

Choose a different tense, then? I assume no one's making you use the present tense.

Unfortunately, I have an idea I really like, but I can't see it working in the past tense. I'm hoping I'll hit some kind of stride at some point and just get used to it. Though I'm finding it difficult to write, it reads better than I expected. Which isn't saying much, but still.

[The first Galactic Republic]

Any thoughts on the story on the previous page?

Here's what I thought.

In general, your writing is very straightforward and matter-of-fact, and generally lacking in the sort of atmospheric touches that really make the story worth experiencing. It feels like you're telling me about a scene in a movie that you saw yesterday, but failing to convey the actual essence of the scene. For example, consider this bit:

The hologram flickered away, in its place a giant walker like robot approached. Weapons flared up from its body.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this. Is it an "oh shit, we might actually die this time" moment? More of a tense standoff? Just business as usual, to set up an action scene? As is, all I know is that there's a "giant walker like robot" with "weapons".

Remember, the goal of a story is not to tell the reader about some things that happened. The goal is to write something that's worth reading.

Since you said you may look at it I'll post the next three chapters of the story. They're not long. Again I apologize if you aren't familiar with the characters. I would appreciate feedback on the writing style anyone who wants to provide it.

"Chrom we have to do something..."

"What do you propose we do?"

"I... I dunno..."

Daredevil groaned. He stirred awake.

Chrom and his sister Lissa looked at the man. "I see you're you're awake now."

Lissa looked down to the man. "Hey there."

"There are better places to take a nap than on the ground you know."

"What the hell?" Daredevil began to rise to his feet. Chrom extended his hand but Daredevil ignored it.

"I'm fine on my own thanks."

"You all right?"

Daredevil looked around. He could tell he was in a remote location. He couldn't hear even a faint sound of traffic. It must have been the countryside.

"Tell me, what's your name? What brings you here?" Chrom eyed Daredevil. "Where did you get that outfit?"

"Daredevil. Call me Daredevil."

Lissa frowned. "What did you do to get that title?"

"Maybe it was wearing that in public." Chrom said playfully. "What are you doing here?"

Daredevil continued to try and figure out where he was. "You really haven't heard of me before?"

"No. I'm sorry. What are you doing here?"

"Where am I?"

"Milord asked you a question first. You would be wise to answer it."

Daredevil could tell a large armored figure was approaching. From the sound of it he was wearing full plate armor. Was this some kind of fair?

"You don't need to be so direct Frederick. Daredevil and I are getting along quite well. But I do need to know why you're here stranger. As the heir to the Halidom of Ylisse I have to know if you would be a threat to Ylisse or not."

"Is that where we are? Ylisse? I've never heard of that."

"Ha! Someone pay this actor. He's quite a fool."

"Hee hee. So you're an actor Mr. Daredevil? That would explain the costume."

Daredevil was growing annoyed. "I'm sorry, Lissa is it? I'm not."

Chrom frowned. Just when he was starting to make sense of everything. He also noticed Daredevil's weapons. "This is weird. You're not making this easy on us stranger."

"This is a load of Pegasus dung. This man is clearly dangerous milord. We need to question him immediately. He could be a spy from Plegia."

Daredevil put his hand on his weapon. Chrom noticed.

"Frederick please. We don't mean you any harm friend, but it is my duty to Ylisse to find out who you are, and it is my duty as a Shepherd to take you in when you are clearly troubled."

"Do I have a choice in this?"

"We mean you no harm. Come with us to the nearest town and we'll explain everything."

Daredevil listened closely. He blocked out all ambient noises, and soon he could hear the heartbeat of the man in front of him. It wasn't elevated. This man wasn't lying.

"Alright I'll come with you."

Chrom smiled warmly.

----

Lucina walked down the asphalt of a highway, far from any civilization. Not that she'd recognize any of this civilization. She was far from home, even more than she thought she'd be. The last thing she remembered, the Fell Dragon had attacked. She remembered closing her eyes and screaming, and when she opened them again she was here. The middle of a field. Grass blowing in a calm wind. The blue sky contained a few clouds that lazily drifted by. This wasn't the hellish landscape she'd known her whole adult life. This was the kind of land she saw in her dreams. Before the war. Before the Grimleal. Her mother and father were in those dreams. With her. Alive. Those dreams were happy. Peaceful.

She felt no peace here though. The land was off. She could feel it.

"Naga where am I? Did the spell work?"

Lucina took out her butterfly mask, remembering Gerome's words that she may need to conceal her identity. As she thought about it she struggled with the memories of the attack. Gerome lying there. That hooded figure.

"I'm sorry. Everyone. I couldn't save you all, but I'll save our future. I'll save our families."

As she prepared to don it a semi-truck barreled down the highway, its weary driver paying little attention to the strange woman walking down the side of the highway. Lucina drew her sword in terror at what sounded like some kind of horrible beast, more confused than afraid when she saw what it was. She had never seen so much metal on an object, and she had never seen anything move so quickly. She could only stare in disbelief as it roared down the road, the calm natural serenity it disrupted continuing on like nothing had happened. Lucina was the only alien thing here, and when she realized this she became more afraid then she had ever been in her future. She was not where she was supposed to be.

As she put her mask on a metallic figure darted from behind one tree to another. Keeping its glowing visor trained at her, it watched silently as she nervously continued her walk.

Lucina eventually made her way into a forest away from the highway. She could never get used to the cars that passed her by. At least in the forest she was surrounded by life. Maybe she could stumble upon a hunter or a soldier. She didn't seem to be anywhere near a city, so she thought to her basic understanding of military tactics. Where would border guards be posted in Ylisse? Surely this kingdom would be somewhat similar. She couldn't have known that going into the forest only gave the drone more cover as it followed her. Waiting for command from its master. The command never came yet the drone continued to follow the human. The anomalous human who represented an unacceptable flaw in Ultron's world. The master would never allow this to exist. Even without the command, the drone knew what had to happen eventually.

Lucina stopped to admire a tree, alien to anything she had seen back in Ylisse, when the metal arm of the Ultron drone almost struck her in the back. She only narrowly dodged it, dashing behind the drone.

Lucina readied her blade, her long blue hair tied back and donning her signature butterfly mask. The drone pressed forward. "Stay back monster!" The Ultron Drone struggled to mutter something, though it's voice was damaged.

"Your end is here human."

Lucina was somewhat surprised this thing could speak. The beasts she was used to fighting couldn't. But she would defend herself none the less.

"I say when it ends!"

She rushed forward. Her blade dragging on ground sliced through the dirt, and when she reached the drone she cut upwards with an impressive slash. Her legendary blade Falchion, capable of slaying dragons, simply bounced off the drone's armor. Lucina would have a lot to learn about Adamantium. The drone struck back and knocked the blade from her hands.

Far above the battle below in another tree Deadpool sat working on a Spider-Man coloring book.

"I'm going to make Venom blue because no one tells me what to do."

Suddenly he looked around. "Wait a minute. Somethings not right here." He furiously looked around before finally looking up.

"The story started! What the hell! Why wasn't I informed? You mean all this time I could have been out there kicking ass and no one told me!"

Deadpool looked down to see Lucina struggling against the Ultron drone.

"Oh well. No time like the present."

He stood up and rubbed his hands together. "Let's see if I can stick the landing. *jumps* Hup!"

As Lucina furiously struggled to block the drone's attacks a figure in a bright red suit fell on the drone. The drone was staggered somewhat but the figure bounced off and hit the dirt.
"AAHHH! OOH AHHH! Shit! BISCUIT THRUSTING CUNT MUFFIN! UUGGH... AHH BALLS OF WOLVERINE! Right down Main Street!"

He turned his head to Lucina, popping his neck as he did so. "It's okay! I'm okay!"

Lucina's mask did little to hide her horrified expression.

"Alright now what are we fighting. Skrulls? Spider-Man clones?"

He twisted his head again to see the drone. "Oh Ultron drones. Yeah great fun. The consolation prize of superhero enemies."

His body began to reform and his limbs began to crack back to their normal positions.

"Hey robot, so uhh was your mother the power tool or was she doing the power tool. Either of it sounds pretty painful."

The Ultron drone pressed towards Lucina.

"Oh Prime's not here is he? Well my taunts are just wasted then. Hey blue haired chick! If you can hold out until my ankles come back we can do some real ass kicking!"

Lucina backed away as the drone approached her. As it charged she sprinted forward and ducked underneath it. She struck at it as she passed under it and by sheer chance hit an exposed spot. The Ultron drone collapsed somewhat.

"Hey! This thing has weak points! If we hit it there maybe we can damage it!"

"Oh you're going to make me do it aren't you. Ugh." Deadpool's ankles snapped back together. "Well I'm running low, but I guess this thing is worth a few shots."

Deadpool wedged a branch off of a nearby tree and tossed it at the back of the drone's head.

"Hey Chappie! Over here."

The drone turned.

"Alright let's get out there and make a difference." Deadpool sprinted towards the drone, as he reached it he jumped on top of it and flipped backwards. In mid air he took out his two pistols and fired at the drone.

"Twenty four, twenty three, twenty two, twenty one!"

Four bullets hit the drone in exposed parts of its body, sending it staggering backwards with electricity coming out of it. Deadpool landed and twisted around. He pointed the gun at the drone and fired again.

"Twenty!"

The bullet hit the drone in the neck causing it to violently explode. Deadpool turned away so that his back was facing the explosion, holding his guns to the side of his head.

"Oh yeah... I am so hot right now."

He turned to Lucina.

"I mean, hi my names Wade Wilson!"

Lucina approached warily. "Wade Wilson?"

"But you can call me Deadpool?"

"Deadpool?"

"Yeah! You see it's a parody of a DC character. You do the Deathstroke in the Deadpool? It's not important right now. Anyways since I rescued you and all I think I deserve some kind of gratification. Please no flash photography it damages the suit."

Lucina tried to wipe some kind of liquid off of her face that splattered from the explosion.

"Ohh-hoh you got money shotted baby!"

The liquid slid off her face leaving not even a drop behind as it reached the ground and self-destructed. A basic security protocol to keep any kind of technology from the Ultron drones from falling into enemy hands.

"What are you?"

"What am I? I'm everybody's favorite murdericous gluten-free Deadpool! But what the hell are you?"

Deadpool swiped the mask from Lucina's face.

"Hey!"

She struck at him, but it hardly did anything.

"So do you wear that mask because of some horribly disfigured face or- oh you're a teenage girl. You'd rather be anywhere else than here. Ohh life is so below you."

"I haven't been a girl since my father died."

"Ooh a tragic backstory! I love those. Tell me all about it, don't skip on any details."

Lucina thought she was prepared for whatever she would see as a result of Naga's ritual. She had to admit to herself sooner or later than she was wrong. Why not now? "Deadpool? I, my-my name is Marth. I'll tell you everything you want to know, if you'll take my to the nearest city."

"Pff easy. It's already contrived coincidence I happened to be in the exact tree you were fighting under. It's only a bit more of a stretch that there's a city nearby. Superhero stories are built on this!"

----

"What's happening here. Where are you taking me."

"You'll be free to go once we establish that you're no enemy to Ylisse."

"Yeah so I'm your prisoner. You really need to butter it up." Daredevil could tell that his statement actually upset Chrom however, as the subtle changes in his heartbeat and breathing were detected by his enhanced hearing.

"Please Daredevil... I'm sorry is that really your name? Is there nothing else we can call you?"

"Please just Daredevil."

"We're only doing our jobs as Shepherds. We have to protect Ylisse."

"You're border guards. I'll admit I don't know much about wherever we are, but where I'm from border guards aren't representative of personal liberty."

"Please Mr Daredevil." Lissa said as she ran up. "You owe us one, you should be thanking us even! You're lucky brigands didn't find you."

"Why do you call yourselves Shepherds anyways? I'm guessing you don't tend sheep in full armor."

Chrom chuckled. Daredevil couldn't help but note how genuinely friendly and cheery he was. He still didn't trust these people, but Chrom didn't have any malice in mind.

"It's a dangerous job. Just ask Frederick here."

"I'd rather not talk to the... Daredevil milord."

"Frederick."

"One of us has to express caution. I have every wish to trust you stranger but my station mandates otherwise."

"If you'd prefer I leave I'd be happy to oblige."

Chrom stopped walking. "Please Daredevil you have to see this from our point of view."

"Chrom!"

"Lissa we're talking here-"

"CHROM!"

Chrom turned to see what his sister was pointing at. In the distance, the clear signs of a fire. Chrom knew there was a village nearby.

"We have to do something! Frederick! Lissa! Quickly!"

"Milord what about Daredevil?"

"When Daredevil is on fire we'll focus on him. Until then we have people to protect. Move Shepherds!"

"Yes milord!"

"Let's go already."

Daredevil stared at the three as they ran off. Anyone else might have at least entertained the idea of escaping, but Daredevil was already taking off after the fire.

The Shepherds arrived at the village, blazing from fires. "Milord these fires don't look accidental!"

Lissa clutched her healing staff, hoping to heal any injured villagers.

"You can't just assume that Frederick. Maybe-"

Suddenly bandits burst out of the few buildings not on fire. A trap.

"Damnit! We always could use a tactician."

Frederick readied his weapon and moved to protect Lissa. "I'll stand with you milord. Behind me milady."

Lissa stepped behind Frederick, but perked up when she saw a familiar figure approaching. "Daredevil! He came for us!"

Daredevil approached the group of bandits who turned to face him. Wasting no time they immediately sprang to attack. After all how could one figure oppose them?

Daredevil was unfazed. "You wanted to know why they call me Daredevil?"

Chrom was initially horrified when he saw the bandits charge Daredevil, but he soon became horrified for another reason. Daredevil was inhuman. His movements were almost too fast for Chrom to track. He was just a blur of red, his chain weapon striking bandits too quickly for Chrom to follow. The bandits fell so quickly that all their screams and shouting seemed to blur together, yet none were seriously injured. Daredevil's fighting style was brutal, but he didn't seriously injure any of the bandits. Chrom couldn't help but be amazed underneath his primal fear of the unknown.

Suddenly it was over. The bandits were down. An entire group cleared by one man, in minutes. Daredevil stood breathing heavily, silently waiting for the Shepherd's reaction.

"That was, INCREDIBLE!" Lissa tried to run up to Daredevil but Frederick's armored hand reached out to stop her. "Frederick stop! This man has done nothing but help us!"

"Milady this man just wiped out an entire army and you're not even a little afraid?"

Chrom stepped forward. "Milord!"

"Daredevil that was incredible. I'm not just talking about your powers, you risked your life to help innocent people. Without any of us asking. Without any provocation. I know you have no reason to trust us, but you have out trust. You're free to go and if you leave now know that you have our full trust in you. But I can also offer you something else. We're not different. You risked your life to help innocent people, and that's what we do. The Shepherds could use you, not because of your power. But because you genuinely care about helping the people."

Chrom extended his hand. He looked to Daredevil with a smile on his face, and his sister also looked approvingly. Daredevil couldn't see this, but he could hear them. Their heartbeats. Their breathing. Even the subtle differences in body temperature. He could tell they were sincere.

This time Daredevil took Chrom's hand.

"Here we are! The Shepherds ' garrison. Go on, Make yourself at home." Lissa walked into a large building. Daredevil followed behind. He could immediately tell there were multiple people in the room, and a few seconds later he had heard enough to tell that many were armored.

"Lissa, my treasure! Are you all right? I've been on pins and needles!" A woman who was definitely not armored ran up to Lissa. Daredevil could tell from the noises she made she was likely wearing a dress. Was she also a soldier?

"Oh, hey, Maribelle!"

"Oh hey" yourself! I've sprouted 14 grey hairs fretting over you!"

"Aw, you worry too much. I can handle a battle or two!"

A much larger man approached.

"Hey, squirt! Where's Chrom? I bet he had a rough time out there without ol' Teach and his trusty axe!"

"Oh, so you're "Teach" now, Vaike, is that it? Hee hee! And here I thought people were just born lacking wits. It can be taught?"

"Ha! Never doubt the Vaike! ...Wait, was that an insult?"

Another woman walked up. "Beg pardon, but when might we see the captain?"

"Poor Sumia. She's simply been beside herself with concern... Her eyes were scanning the horizon all day during training. ...She might have earned fewer bruises fighting blindfolded." Maribelle said.

Lissa smiled. "Aw, Sumia, that's so sweet of you to worry about Chrom."

"Worry? Well, I... He's our captain and our prince- of course I'd worry!"

"So, who's the stranger?"

"No one's stranger that you Vaike... But allow me to introduce Daredevil! He just joined the Shepherds. Chrom's made him our newest soldier. You should see all the tricks he's got up his sleeve!"

Daredevil looked everyone in the eye, his senses more than enough to hide his blindness. "Hello everyone."

"Oh yeah? Can he do this? *buuuuuurp*"

Daredevil frowned at Vaike. "Uh, I don't have much experience in the belching arts. I'm sure you'll all find use of me for... serious problems."

"Ugh, Vaike! That was abhorrent! Must you baseborn oafs pollute even the air with your buffoonery? And you, Daredevil! Don't encourage him! I'd hope you were cut from finer cloth. Hmph!"

Maribelle turned to leave the room.

"Don't take it to heart, Daredevil. Maribelle warms to people slowly." Sumia said.

"Or burns too quickly! Hee hee! But yeah, just give her time."

Chrom walked into the room, Sumia being the first to notice.

"Ah! Captain! You've returned! I was- I mean, we were so-"

Daredevil immediately could tell she was about to trip. When her foot hit the ground he could immediately tell from the sound that she was stepping on papers, not the floor, and also that she wasn't putting her weight on her foot right. He rushed forward and caught her right as she was losing her balance.

"Ahh-uhh. Uh? You caught me? Daredevil?"

Daredevil helped her right herself. "I'm just... perceptive is all. Very perceptive. "

Lissa had a big smile on her face. "That's nothing. You should have seen what he did to some bandits earlier! Isn't that right Chrom?"

"Lissa's right. Daredevil's quite the fighter."

"Where did you get a name like Daredevil anyways?" Vaike wondered.

Chrom looked to Daredevil for a split second as if he was hoping Daredevil would say more than he said to Chrom, but he didn't. "It's just a title. Anyways in the morning, we'll be marching to Regna Ferox."

Daredevil was annoyed. Another name he hadn't heard of. It wasn't going to be easy to figure out exactly where he was. "Regna Ferox?"

"A unified kingdom to Ylisse's north inhabited by barbarians, or so it's said." Sumia responded.

"Warriors are what they are, and we'll need their strength to quell this new menace. Typically, the exalt would request such aid in person. But given recent events... Well, the people might worry should my sisiter suddenly leave the capital. So the task has been passed to us. Now, this mission is strictly voluntary. So if, for any-"

All the Shepherds volunteered. "I... I, um..."

"Yes, Sumia?"

"It's just that... I'm not sure I'm quite ready for a proper mission just yet. I'd probably just get in the way."

"Well, you could stay behind the main group, and if a battle is met, just watch and learn? Your choice, of course. But some lessons can only be learned on the battlefield."

"W-well, if you think it wise, Captain."

Chrom smiled. "Just stay by me and you'll be fine."

"Oh, yes! I mean- Yes, sir, I'll do that!"

----

"Can you account for your whereabouts on the last few days sir?"

The man said nothing. He continued to sit with his hat obscuring his face, ignoring the Pegasus Knight in front of him. Cordelia was tired of this. She had spent the whole day trying to track down one man, just one man, who had apparently been responsible for multiple murders across several towns. Many of the people he killed were bandits though, and the ones that weren't were hated by the townspeople. None the less she had been ordered to find this man. It was difficult. How was she supposed to find one man who traveled from village to village? Especially notable was that the townspeople seemed to be helping him, sometimes even hindering Cordelia's search. She wasn't going to give up though. She had gotten some useful information. This "Punisher" had to be found.

"Sir it would be wise to respond to a direct order from a Pegasus Knight of Ylisse. Where have you been in the last few days sir?"

The man rose to his feet, still obscuring his face. "I've been traveling from town to town. Taking care of personal business. Nothing important."

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Charles Fort."

"Could you come with me sir?"

"Where are we going?"

"It won't be long. We just need to talk to some eyewitnesses, and we'd like you to provide an account of your own."

The man still didn't look up. "An account of what?"

"A murderer. Travels across town, calls himself the Punisher."

The man finally looked up, his grizzled face staring down Cordelia. She was unnerved slightly, but she had an idea.

"Those are odd clothes to be wearing this time of year. Pretty thick for the Ylissean sun. Do you want to remove a layer to two for the trip?"

"I'm fine."

"Please it wouldn't be a concern at all."

Charles Fort kept staring at her. "I'm shy." he said in the most monotone voice.

"Honestly sir it wouldn't be right of me to risk a citizen of Ylisse being injured from heatstroke. I insist, make yourself more comfortable." Cordelia tried to give a fake reassuring smile.

The man kept staring, but Cordelia met his gaze. The two looked at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally without breaking his gaze he unbuttoned the very top of his shirt. "If you insist."

But underneath Cordelia could make out that he was wearing very dark clothing. The Punisher had been reported to be wearing dark clothing. She had all she needed to at least take this man in for questioning.

"Sir if you could just step forward. I need to make sure you're not carrying any dangerous weapons of any kind."

The man knew what was coming, but so did Cordelia. She expected him to throw a punch or draw a sword. How was she supposed to know what a flashbang grenade was? So when the man reached into his pocket and threw a small device on the ground, Cordelia didn't know to turn away before a blinding light and horrible noises suddenly crippled her. As she fell to the ground in agony the man sprinted away.

"Charles Fort" wasn't able to get far though before Cordelia's horse charged him. Frank Castle quickly pulled out a pistol, but as he took aim he saw what was charging him. A horse with wings was running at him. Frank's analytical mind quickly realized that this was a Pegasus, but that just confused him further. Those weren't real? The confusion prevented him from firing before the horse tackled him. It jumped in top of him and started bashing him with its hoofs. Frank struggled against the beast, losing his gun in the struggle. In desperation he took out another flashbang grande and threw it to the side. He tried to turn his head but still took the blunt of the blast.

Punisher staggered forward in pain, only his Marine training, combat experience, and pain tolerance giving him the strength to not cover his ears and eyes and curl up into a ball. When his senses came back to him, he noticed that he was closer to the edge of a cliff than he needed to be and that the Pegasus Knight was coming back. Punisher tried to reach into his pocket for non-lethal rounds. She seemed to be just doing her job as a soldier and Punisher didn't want to kill the woman. She didn't live outside of the law. He couldn't load the ammo though before she was on top of him, Punisher narrowly dodging a thrust from her spear. He grabbed the weapon and wrenched it out of her hands, striking her with the tip. He shoved the spear forward and then tried to deliver a quick kick to the woman's knee. She dodged and stuck back, delivering a kick to his shin and then groin. Good thing her legs weren't armored. The two wrestled for the spear, their feet constantly shifting to strike at each other and gain better footing. Punisher let go of the spear as the woman pulled for it, staggering her briefly and letting him punch her in the stomach. She fell back and Punisher seized the spear from her. He quickly snapped it in half over his knee and then struck the woman in the side of the head with the blunt half. He then wheeled around and stabbed at her with the other end, but she raised her armored shoulder and blocked it. She struck the spear to send it to the side and then hit the Punisher square in the jaw, but the man's response was to headbutt her right in the face. As Cordelia staggered Punisher grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to throw her to the ground, but she twisted around to land on her back and was able to kick the Punisher with both legs before he could correct himself. Cordelia's Pegasus Knight training made her quite flexible, even when not connected to the ground. She tried to reach for the discarded spear but Punisher also grabbed it and once again both struggled over the spear. Punisher could hear Cordelia's "horse" approaching from behind, so he shoved her closer to the cliff edge. She was able to get behind him though and struggled with him on the side of the edge. As the two struggled Punisher subtlety began to give ground.

"We're on the same side. So I'm not going to hurt you."

Cordelia was taken by surprise. Was the man trying to talk to her?

"But don't try to stop me."

Punisher suddenly fell to his back and used Cordelia's own strength against her. Having been struggling against him she fell over him and as she went over Punisher was able to kick her off of him. She went towards the cliff edge, having been thrown forward just enough to stagger a bit before going over the edge.

Punisher looked up. Just as he expected the woman's horse flew after her and he made his escape. Cordelia's horse caught her as she fell and she quickly flew up to get a view on the situation. The man was gone. Cordelia's spear was still there but the man had just disappeared.

Cordelia spent hours flying around looking for the man, but there was no trace of him. He had just disappeared. She looked down at the one thing she did manage to find. A small metal object of some kind. It vaguely resembled some kind of club, but there were odd switches on it. Cordelia shrugged. Her superiors wouldn't be happy to learn that he had escaped from her, but at least she had something to go by.

----

"Lucina! Hello? LUCINA! Where are you?"

Inigo wandered around an open field, having been there ever since he appeared in this strange world. "Come on I can't have appeared here by myself. LUCINA!"

Inigo had been searching for her for the past thirty minutes. She didn't seem to be anywhere nearby, but where could she be? Inigo didn't see any traces of civilization, not even a farmer's daughter or a milkmaid. Any pretty face really was all he was asking for. At least then he'd have some comfort.

"Gods, I didn't think time travel was going to be simple but come on. Where is anything around here?"

Inigo stared down at the fields of wheat. Golden as far as he could see. Crops in Ylisse rarely did this well. "Somebody's got to be here maintaining this. I can't be alone out here. LUCINA! Can you hear me?"

Inigo swore he heard something in a group of nearby trees. "Hello?" There was no response, but it was more to go off of than he had. He approached the trees slowly.

"Is anyone there? Don't be afraid of me." Inigo wondered if perhaps a woman was hiding from him. "You may not know me but I assure you my intentions are fair. There is nothing to fear from me, especially not from a fair lass."

A blast of energy emerged from the trees, narrowly missing Inigo. Suddenly a horrible metal figure emerged from the trees. If only Inigo knew a similar figure had attacked Lucina earlier.

"No of course not. Nothing's ever that simple for me." Inigo wasted no time in drawing his sword and charging the figure. Unlike Lucina Inigo was able to damage the figure. As the two fought an armored figure approached from behind. Just as the drone gained the upper hand it was obliterated by green energy. Inigo turned to see an armored figure with green energy arcing off of its hands.

"Are you alright?"

Inigo kept his sword raised. "Who are you."

"An ally. Tell me did that thing hurt you?"

"Why should I talk to you?"

"I saved you didn't I?"

Inigo sheathed his sword. "I guess that's true. My name is Inigo. Do you know anything about this place? I'm uh, new."

"Come with me. I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Inigo didn't know what Ultron was, but if only he knew that the Ultron drone he had just fought was actually a doombot. A simple ploy to get the ruler of Latveria another minion.

"I'm not going to ask again kid. Come with us now and we won't hurt ya."

Donnel backed away nervously from the bandit. He clutched the bucket on his head nervously, his only source of comfort.

"You're trying my patience kid. Come with us and no one will get hurt. Your ma will have to pay up, but so long as she does you'll be at home safe and sound by sundown."

Donnel was running out of room. He was too far from the village, he could never make it back before they caught him. In desperation he tried to flee anyways, stumbling through thick trees to get away. The bandits got him anyways, and struck him in the back for the effort. The leader drew his sword and put the blade on the back of Donnel's neck. "I'm through asking."

"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone who'll fight back!"

The other bandits turned their heads, but the leader already knew who he was talking to. "Logan. You have a tendency to show up in the most unlikely places. Big man like you caring after this runt? Yeah I'd call that unlikely." The bandit stepped off Donnel. "I mean that's sad, even for you."

"People like you just like to hear themselves talk, so why don't we just skip to what we both know is coming."

The bandit readied his sword, his associates behind him. He turned back to one, and he went over to Donnel grabbing him. The bandit approached Logan, sword ready. "We're both men Logan. We can talk this out. You want a cut? A share? We can do that. We could make it a regular business deal. We could definitely use someone like you."

"Not happening bub."

"Then no witnesses!" The bandit sprung forward and sliced at Logan with his sword. Logan raised his arm to block, and the sword cut clean through. At least at first. The sword stopped in the middle of Logan's arm. There was a spray of blood and Logan winced in pain, but the sword hit something solid. Very solid. Before the bandit could react Logan hit him right in the face. As if struck by a mace, the bandit fell straight down unconscious. Logan looked up to the other bandits who charged at him. With two punches he brought down the two bandits, his fists hitting as if they were made of metal. He turned to the third who held a knife to Donnel's throat.

"You think you can do better than your boss?"

The other bandit turned and fled. Logan went up to Donnel and helped him to his feet. He didn't seem injured. "You alright?"

"You saved me Logan."

"Don't mention it."

"You attacked those men. You destroyed them."

"I was just protecting you Donnel."

Donnel nervously adjusted the pot on his head. "Now I know why Ma doesn't want me hanging around ya."

"She doesn't huh."

"Na. You seem like a nice man Mr Logan, but Ma says if you fight back against bandits with violence you're no better than them."

"That's bullshit Donnel. Bullies like that'd chase you to the ends of the world because they could. At some point you have to stand up for yourself. The only way you're going to get them to leave you alone."

Donnel was upset by the language. He became more withdrawn around Logan and he noticed. Logan had to remember to be more careful around Donnel. The boy had been through a lot, but nothing like what he had seen. He had to remember that other people were more "gentle" than him. "Well I don't know about that, but I didn't agree with Ma about seeing you. You're a nice man Mr Logan, and thank you for saving me. You could've gotten hurt."

Logan stood over the body of the bandit leader, still breathing. "Oh I don't know about that. The fuc- what were you doing out here by yourself?"

"I was, well. I was looking for another rock for the collection."

Logan turned to Donnel. "You were out here by yourself because of a rock!"

"You don't understand! I was out here earlier and I saw a rock that looked just like my father's rock! I've been looking for rocks like his ever since... ever since he died!"

"You've had experience with these bandits before Donnel. The whole village did. They kidnapped everyone and held you for ransom for days. Ever since other bandits have come thinking the same thing, and still you wander off by yourself! If you're not going to protect yourself you can at least be careful!"

"I know, I know. I just-" Donnel's face began to scrunch up. "My father collected rocks. When the bandits killed him... look this is all I have of him. His rock collection. This rock was his favorite, and ever since I've looked for rocks just like it. I wouldn't come out here for just any rock! This one's a special rock! It would have been special to my father, and it's special to me."

Logan paused for a bit. He took a deep breath in. "Alright Donnel. I'm sorry for raising my voice like that. If you want I'll help you look for this rock." Logan thought about what he just said for a second. Yes he was going to spend his time helping a boy look for a rock. Not his most impressive moment.

"Really I- it's right over here somewhere."

"We can't be out too long Donnel. We'll need to get back to the village soon."

"That's fine Logan. Ma would get suspicious if I was out too long anyways. If we don't find it today there's always tomorrow. It's a rock. It won't be going anywhere."

"That's right Donnel." Logan thought about that for a second. He remembered his own past, and tried to remember how he had come to this strange world so long ago. "There's always tomorrow."

----

"Prince Chrom, please wait here while I summon the khan." The guard that brought the Shepherds into the fortress left.

"Of course."

"So the Khan is away?"

"Out training, I'd wager. The khans of Ferox prefer battle to politics. Or rather, battle IS their politics."

Daredevil thought about that. "A warrior ruler, eh? Those aren't exactly uncommon where I'm from."

"Where exactly are you from Daredevil?"

"Umm, it's not important right now."

Chrom squinted at Daredevil. "Right."

"I'm sorry am I interrupting something? Please do go on!"

"You're the—?! Er, that is to say... The khan, I presume?"

"One of them, yes—the East-Khan. My name is Flavia. I apologize for the troubles at the border, Prince Chrom. You are welcome in Regna Ferox."

"Thank you and I apologize for not addressing you when you entered the room. It's just I heard you were a great warrior. I didn't expect a lady. Err what I meant was that I didn't expect someone so ladylike-though that doesn't mean I think someone can't be ladylike and a warrior! Umm, let's move on. Is it true bandits posing as Ylisseans have been ransacking your border villages?"

"Yes. Those Plegian dogs! We found documents proving as much on the corpse of one of their captains. Plegia must see some benefit in raising tensions between your kingdom and ours."

"Plegians? When you first found me Chrom Frederick mentioned Plegians. Are they a threat to Ylisse?"

"Yes. The Plegians have been trying to provoke us into war for some time now." Chrom spoke to both Daredevil and Flavia. Damn them! I... Forgive me, Your Grace. That was...indelicately put."

"Ha! Damn them and damn delicacy! Here in Ferox, we appreciate plain speech."

"In that case, you should have a word with your damn border guards…"

"...Ha ha! Now that's Feroxi diplomacy! Yes, I like you already. I know why you have come, Prince. But regrettably, I cannot provide any Feroxi troops for Ylisse."

Lissa ran up. "What?! Why not?!"

"I lack the authority."

"Forgive me, but I don't understand. Aren't you the khan?"

"As I said, I am ONE of the khans. In Ferox, the khans of east and west hold a tournament every few years. The victor acquires total sovereignty over both kingdoms. And that means they have the final say when it comes to forging alliances. The West-Khan won the last tournament, you see, and so…"

"So we are to receive no aid at all?"

Daredevil turned to Chrom. "So she's looking for champions for the next contest. If she wins she'll be able to grant Ylisse assistance."

"Ha! Your friend here is very observant. The next tournament is nigh, you see, and I am in need of champions."

"How do you know that Daredevil?"

Daredevil smiled. "Like I said, this stuff isn't uncommon where I'm from."

Daredevil tried to be reassuring but it only further reminded Chrom about how mysterious he was. The man truly didn't seem to be from around here, and Chrom was bothered that he didn't seem to trust him or any of the Shepherds with more information about him. "What does that have to do with us?"

"The captain of my border guard informs me your Shepherds are quite capable. Perhaps you would consider representing the East in the upcoming tournament? If you win and I become ruling khan, I will grant your alliance."

"I would have assumed Ylisseans had no place in such Feroxi traditions."

"Ha! On the contrary. The khans themselves do not fight—they choose champions to represent them. Otherwise our land would be rife with blood feuds and dead khans! We don't involve comrades or kin for the same reason. Over time, it was decided the tournament should be fought by outsiders. Although the outsiders have never included foreign royalty. ...That I know of! Ha! Regardless, it is your choice to make."

"There is no choice, East-Khan. My people are desperate. We face not only bandits but also aggression from Plegia. If fighting for you is the quickest way to an alliance, then we will take up our steel."

"Ha ha! Oh, I like you, Prince Chrom. I do hope you survive the tournament! Come, I'll show you the arena where the tournament is held. But be wary! I hear an equally able swordsman champions the West-Khan."

"He shall be defeated by Ylisse’s necessity!"

"Well spoken again—I look forward to seeing if you're equally skilled with a blade!"

Flavia turned to leave and Frederick walked up to Chrom. "Milord is this a wise idea?"

"Of course Frederick. This is the fastest way to secure an alliance, and we need assistance."

"No that milord. You fighting. There are other capable Shepherds that could fight instead. If you were wounded the Shepherds would be without a leader, and we would have a hard time conducting diplomacy."

"Who do you propose fight in my place Frederick?"

Yeah Frederick!" Lissa said. "You don't think my brother can handle it?"

"I have the utmost faith in milord's abilities, I'm simply trying to exercise safety. There is another who could fight for us." Frederick turned to Daredevil.

Lissa immediately perked up. "Yeah! You saw what Daredevil did to those bandits Chrom! He's a great fighter. The other champion doesn't stand a chance."

"But! It's my duty-" Chrom thought for a second. He realized he was reacting to his frustrations at Daredevil's unwillingness to trust him. "You're right. Daredevil would make an excellent champion. If it's okay."

Chrom turned to Daredevil.

Daredevil nodded. "It's fine. I'll do my best."

Before long the Shepherds were on the sidelines of a large circular arena, all except Daredevil. The arena was open with sunlight illuminating the floor, but the sides were illuminated only by the faint light of torches. Hundreds of spectators were gathered in the enclosed stands, but those in the arena could hardly tell. In the center of the arena, standing on an elaborately decorated stone floor, was Daredevil.

"Look!"

"I see him Lissa." Daredevil focused. The shadows meant nothing to him. That's not how he perceived the world. He could hear the man in front of him. Though obscured by shadow it did little to hide the sound of his heartbeat, or even the body temperature of his body. Daredevil could detect all of these things. Daredevil stepped forward. He kept his hand on his weapon, listening for the man's moves.

"Well? Are we going to fight?"

The man stepped forward, but it was all off. The sound of his footsteps, the way he moved his weight around. It didn't sound normal. Suddenly Daredevil made the realization. There was only one man he knew who sounded like that, but it couldn't be?

"Murdock! I knew I couldn't have been the only one to show up here! Fascinating!"

"No. No- it can't be. Reed Richards?"

[USS Monitor]

I'm making slow progress on my political fantasy novel, but slow progress is better than no progress. Still don't have a title, and still working out some plot details.

Choose a different tense, then? I assume no one's making you use the present tense.

Unfortunately, I have an idea I really like, but I can't see it working in the past tense. I'm hoping I'll hit some kind of stride at some point and just get used to it. Though I'm finding it difficult to write, it reads better than I expected. Which isn't saying much, but still.

Sometimes struggling to write means you're doing it wrong, but not always. There was one of my dad's books -- and I don't remember which one -- where he had to write it cos it was under contract, but he just HATED writing it and spent several months grumbling about how he was sick of it. It didn't come out bad when it was done, just was a pain in the ass to write.

[Soviet Haaregrad]

I'm making slow progress on my political fantasy novel, but slow progress is better than no progress. Still don't have a title, and still working out some plot details.

A Song of Smoke and Backrooms?
Game of Seats?
Crime and Criminality?
The Honourable Member From (city): Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace Corruption?
A Wizard Did It: A Guide To Understanding (location) Politics

[USS Monitor]

I'm making slow progress on my political fantasy novel, but slow progress is better than no progress. Still don't have a title, and still working out some plot details.

A Song of Smoke and Backrooms?
Game of Seats?
Crime and Criminality?
The Honourable Member From (city): Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace Corruption?
A Wizard Did It: A Guide To Understanding (location) Politics

None of them fit, but thanks anyway. 

[The first Galactic Republic]

I have a writing question. I'm thinking about a story that will have extensive flashbacks, each one would be about a third of the length of a normal chapter. How should I incorporate them into chapters? Is at the very end alright? Would it be obnoxious to say have the text of the flashback be in italics?

Or should flashbacks just be their own chapter?

[USS Monitor]

I have a writing question. I'm thinking about a story that will have extensive flashbacks, each one would be about a third of the length of a normal chapter. How should I incorporate them into chapters? Is at the very end alright? Would it be obnoxious to say have the text of the flashback be in italics?

Or should flashbacks just be their own chapter?

You can put them anywhere in the chapter -- beginning, middle, or end -- or make them separate chapters. They don't all have to be done the same way. You can have some at the beginning of chapters, some at the end, some set apart as their own chapters. Putting them in italics is acceptable if you like the effect, but certainly not necessary.

[Hindia Belanda]

I have a writing question. I'm thinking about a story that will have extensive flashbacks, each one would be about a third of the length of a normal chapter. How should I incorporate them into chapters? Is at the very end alright? Would it be obnoxious to say have the text of the flashback be in italics?

Or should flashbacks just be their own chapter?

One of my favourite books called A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara has very extensive and detailed flashbacks, and they are their own chapters placed in between the present tensed-chapters. To me personally, it's more interesting to separate them that way, but if it's a third of the length of a normal chapter, putting them in the beginning of a chapter sounds appropriate too

[The first Galactic Republic]

I have a writing question. I'm thinking about a story that will have extensive flashbacks, each one would be about a third of the length of a normal chapter. How should I incorporate them into chapters? Is at the very end alright? Would it be obnoxious to say have the text of the flashback be in italics?

Or should flashbacks just be their own chapter?

One of my favourite books called A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara has very extensive and detailed flashbacks, and they are their own chapters placed in between the present tensed-chapters. To me personally, it's more interesting to separate them that way, but if it's a third of the length of a normal chapter, putting them in the beginning of a chapter sounds appropriate too

I like the idea of having them at the beginning.

[Conserative Morality]

You can put them anywhere in the chapter -- beginning, middle, or end -- or make them separate chapters. They don't all have to be done the same way. You can have some at the beginning of chapters, some at the end, some set apart as their own chapters. Putting them in italics is acceptable if you like the effect, but certainly not necessary.

I disagree. Whatever method you decide on, keep it consistent for flashbacks.

[Trotskylvania]

Besides sporking some really, really bad fiction written by a Nazi furry, I've mostly been writing a little bit in fanfic lately.

I need to find a way to be more productive.

[Conserative Morality]

Besides sporking some really, really bad fiction written by a Nazi furry, I've mostly been writing a little bit in fanfic lately.

I need to find a way to be more productive.

*Eric Clapton's 'Cocaine' plays in background*

[USS Monitor]

You can put them anywhere in the chapter -- beginning, middle, or end -- or make them separate chapters. They don't all have to be done the same way. You can have some at the beginning of chapters, some at the end, some set apart as their own chapters. Putting them in italics is acceptable if you like the effect, but certainly not necessary.

I disagree. Whatever method you decide on, keep it consistent for flashbacks.

Putting them at different places in a chapter is not using different methods. It's just putting them in different places. Saying you can't put them different places in the chapter is like saying you can't have fight scenes at different places in the chapter. It's completely arbitrary.

But I would recommend being consistent about whether they are italicized or not, unless there is a specific reason to make them different.

[Conserative Morality]

Putting them at different places in a chapter is not using different methods. It's just putting them in different places. Saying you can't put them different places in the chapter is like saying you can't have fight scenes at different places in the chapter. It's completely arbitrary.

But I would recommend being consistent about whether they are italicized or not, unless there is a specific reason to make them different.

I think there's something to be said for making all flashbacks at the beginning or end of a chapter, or chapters in and of themselves. It has a certain appeal to it. But I suppose I'm trying to say something more along the lines of "Don't start a pattern and break it".

[USS Monitor]

Putting them at different places in a chapter is not using different methods. It's just putting them in different places. Saying you can't put them different places in the chapter is like saying you can't have fight scenes at different places in the chapter. It's completely arbitrary.

But I would recommend being consistent about whether they are italicized or not, unless there is a specific reason to make them different.

I think there's something to be said for making all flashbacks at the beginning or end of a chapter, or chapters in and of themselves. It has a certain appeal to it. But I suppose I'm trying to say something more along the lines of "Don't start a pattern and break it".

You certainly can have a consistent pattern, and it can be effective that way, and it might be the right approach for what FGR is doing.

It's just not essential that it has to be that way. I would say, "Don't start a pattern and break it unless you have a good reason for the break," but I was thinking you don't need to have any pattern at all.