Metal Thread 2: In Metal There Is No Law

[NeuPolska]

I've been neglecting folk metal.

MAN THE OARS.

IT'S TIME TO LISTEN TO NEHALENNIA!

VOORWAARTS! VOORWAARTS!
OVER DE ZEEËN!
VOORWAARTS! VOORWAARTS!
NEHALENNIA!

Arkona is so good.

Arkona?

I'm talking about Heidevolk.

[Kiaculta]

OH KURWA YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT HEADBANGING GOODNESS!!!

[Impaled Nazarene]

You can emulate good Metallica...

There has to be good Metallica first.

Get out. It's clear you really aren't going to enjoy anything unless you get rid of your harsh vocal ban. So either listen to that album in whole or give me more options.

I was discovering girls bodies for the first time,

did you report them to the police?

[Nirvash Type TheEND]

Arkona is so good.

Arkona?

I'm talking about Heidevolk.

I was talking about Folk metal in general.

[NeuPolska]

OH KURWA YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT HEADBANGING GOODNESS!!!

FUCK YEAH HE GETS IT!!!

[Kar-Esseria]

Let's look at some of the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism from my point of view.

THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS
1. "Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence." Okay this isn't the best. I don't drink or drug and never got the appeal of one night stands so those sorts of excesses are out. Um...I love food?
2. "Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams." Quite agreeable there. I believe in self-preservation and survival. A god or spiritual thingy doesn't make good things happen to you, YOU make them happen by putting effort into it.
3. "Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit." Once again, I believe in realism.
4. "Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates." White knights aren't necessary all the time. Douchebags aren't worth my time.
5. "Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek." If someone's a dick to me, they shouldn't expect anything else in return.
6. "Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires." I can interpret this as not helping people who refuse to help themselves. Freeloaders: Get the fuck out of here.
7. "Satan represents man as just another animal (sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours), who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development", has become the most vicious animal of all." Hey, we can be pretty big douchebags at times. And religion has probably caused more violence and inhumanity than many other elements of our history and culture as a species.
8. "Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification." Ties in with #1, I can't really agree with it. Some things aren't worth fucking yourself over for a temporary high.
9. "Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." To be fair, villains are always more interesting than heroes.

WILL LOOK OVER THE ELEVEN SATANIC RULES OF THE EARTH LATER

1. "Get fat and fucked up on every drug and alcoholic beverage known to man! Who cares about 'health'!?"
2. "Congrats! You're Satan! Now let me complain about Gods while I believe in *MAGIC*!"
3. "Being religious makes you stupid by default! Don't be stupid, be an edgy Atheist instead!"
4. "Just be a dick to anyone who hasn't done anything nice to/for you before!"
5. "You know that guy who kicked your dog? Murder him!"
6. "Fuck the poor!"
7. "This is really just an excuse to act like an animal! Go ahead, go wild, beat up that go who sneered at you and put him in a coma!"
8. "Be the most selfish, envious, fattest, laziest, angriest, sluttiest, self-absorbed asshole in the world!"
9. "This is basically some Theistic Satanist bullshit where Satan is the good guy!"

That's basically what I got from all that.

[Kiaculta]

Oh kurwa.

You're in the wrong thread.

I bet I've sacrificed more virgins on sex alters than your entire immediate family, kiddo. : p

That must make you soooo special. Sounds like the frat douchebags I had to share living space with for 2 years.

[Nirvash Type TheEND]

did you report them to the police?

Not my business what my neighbors do with their weekends.

Let's look at some of the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism from my point of view.

THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS
1. "Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence." Okay this isn't the best. I don't drink or drug and never got the appeal of one night stands so those sorts of excesses are out. Um...I love food?
2. "Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams." Quite agreeable there. I believe in self-preservation and survival. A god or spiritual thingy doesn't make good things happen to you, YOU make them happen by putting effort into it.
3. "Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit." Once again, I believe in realism.
4. "Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates." White knights aren't necessary all the time. Douchebags aren't worth my time.
5. "Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek." If someone's a dick to me, they shouldn't expect anything else in return.
6. "Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires." I can interpret this as not helping people who refuse to help themselves. Freeloaders: Get the fuck out of here.
7. "Satan represents man as just another animal (sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours), who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development", has become the most vicious animal of all." Hey, we can be pretty big douchebags at times. And religion has probably caused more violence and inhumanity than many other elements of our history and culture as a species.
8. "Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification." Ties in with #1, I can't really agree with it. Some things aren't worth fucking yourself over for a temporary high.
9. "Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." To be fair, villains are always more interesting than heroes.

WILL LOOK OVER THE ELEVEN SATANIC RULES OF THE EARTH LATER

1. "Get fat and fucked up on every drug and alcoholic beverage known to man! Who cares about 'health'!?"
2. "Congrats! You're Satan! Now let me complain about Gods while I believe in *MAGIC*!"
3. "Being religious makes you stupid by default! Don't be stupid, be an edgy Atheist instead!"
4. "Just be a dick to anyone who hasn't done anything nice to/for you before!"
5. "You know that guy who kicked your dog? Murder him!"
6. "Fuck the poor!"
7. "This is really just an excuse to act like an animal! Go ahead, go wild, beat up that go who sneered at you and put him in a coma!"
8. "Be the most selfish, envious, fattest, laziest, angriest, sluttiest, self-absorbed asshole in the world!"
9. "This is basically some Theistic Satanist bullshit where Satan is the good guy!"

That's basically what I got from all that.

You're trying too hard.

[Kiaculta]

Let's look at some of the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism from my point of view.

THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS
1. "Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence." Okay this isn't the best. I don't drink or drug and never got the appeal of one night stands so those sorts of excesses are out. Um...I love food?
2. "Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams." Quite agreeable there. I believe in self-preservation and survival. A god or spiritual thingy doesn't make good things happen to you, YOU make them happen by putting effort into it.
3. "Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit." Once again, I believe in realism.
4. "Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates." White knights aren't necessary all the time. Douchebags aren't worth my time.
5. "Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek." If someone's a dick to me, they shouldn't expect anything else in return.
6. "Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires." I can interpret this as not helping people who refuse to help themselves. Freeloaders: Get the fuck out of here.
7. "Satan represents man as just another animal (sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours), who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development", has become the most vicious animal of all." Hey, we can be pretty big douchebags at times. And religion has probably caused more violence and inhumanity than many other elements of our history and culture as a species.
8. "Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification." Ties in with #1, I can't really agree with it. Some things aren't worth fucking yourself over for a temporary high.
9. "Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." To be fair, villains are always more interesting than heroes.

WILL LOOK OVER THE ELEVEN SATANIC RULES OF THE EARTH LATER

1. "Get fat and fucked up on every drug and alcoholic beverage known to man! Who cares about 'health'!?"
2. "Congrats! You're Satan! Now let me complain about Gods while I believe in *MAGIC*!"
3. "Being religious makes you stupid by default! Don't be stupid, be an edgy Atheist instead!"
4. "Just be a dick to anyone who hasn't done anything nice to/for you before!"
5. "You know that guy who kicked your dog? Murder him!"
6. "Fuck the poor!"
7. "This is really just an excuse to act like an animal! Go ahead, go wild, beat up that go who sneered at you and put him in a coma!"
8. "Be the most selfish, envious, fattest, laziest, angriest, sluttiest, self-absorbed asshole in the world!"
9. "This is basically some Theistic Satanist bullshit where Satan is the good guy!"

That's basically what I got from all that.

Wow, you really twisted words...this is exactly what the average religious individual perceives those "rules" to be.

[NeuPolska]

Oh kurwa.

You're in the wrong thread.

I bet I've sacrificed more virgins on sex alters than your entire immediate family, kiddo. : p

>Wants to find more bands like Slipknot
>Brags about sex

Yep. Sounds like a cunt.

[Nirvash Type TheEND]

I bet I've sacrificed more virgins on sex alters than your entire immediate family, kiddo. : p

>Wants to find more bands like Slipknot
>Brags about sex

Yep. Sounds like a cunt.

I don't understand how you guys just completely missed the 'sacrifice' in that sentence but w/e

[NeuPolska]

>Wants to find more bands like Slipknot
>Brags about sex

Yep. Sounds like a cunt.

I don't understand how you guys just completely missed the 'sacrifice' in that sentence but w/e

"Sacrificed more virgins on sex alters"

If that doesn't imply sex I don't know what does, especially given how you were just talking about banging girls in the first place.

[Revanchism]

Temnozor is best folk metal
Incidentally they have a song titled Arkona

[Impaled Nazarene]

>Wants to find more bands like Slipknot
>Brags about sex

Yep. Sounds like a cunt.

I don't understand how you guys just completely missed the 'sacrifice' in that sentence but w/e

We get it you kill small animals and cishet males. Could you be anymore vanilla?

[Kar-Esseria]

Get the (Slip)knot out of your panties, I was being satirical.

[NeuPolska]

Temnozor is best folk metal
Incidentally they have a song titled Arkona

What's a good album by them?

[NeuPolska]

Get the (Slip)knot out of your panties, I was being satirical.

Kar I guess you're no longer the whipping boy of this thread.

[Nirvash Type TheEND]

I don't understand how you guys just completely missed the 'sacrifice' in that sentence but w/e

"Sacrificed more virgins on sex alters"

If that doesn't imply sex I don't know what does, especially given how you were just talking about banging girls in the first place.

I was going for more Metalocalypse imagery but okay.

I don't understand how you guys just completely missed the 'sacrifice' in that sentence but w/e

We get it you kill small animals and cishet males. Could you be anymore vanilla?

I'm sorry I'm not extreme enough to anally rape aborted fetuses on stage. I don't have enough blackness in my veins. :<<<

[NeuPolska]

I'm sorry I'm not extreme enough to anally rape aborted fetuses on stage. I don't have enough blackness in my veins. :<<<

You wish you did.

[Kiaculta]

1. "Get fat and fucked up on every drug and alcoholic beverage known to man! Who cares about 'health'!?"
2. "Congrats! You're Satan! Now let me complain about Gods while I believe in *MAGIC*!"
3. "Being religious makes you stupid by default! Don't be stupid, be an edgy Atheist instead!"
4. "Just be a dick to anyone who hasn't done anything nice to/for you before!"
5. "You know that guy who kicked your dog? Murder him!"
6. "Fuck the poor!"
7. "This is really just an excuse to act like an animal! Go ahead, go wild, beat up that go who sneered at you and put him in a coma!"
8. "Be the most selfish, envious, fattest, laziest, angriest, sluttiest, self-absorbed asshole in the world!"
9. "This is basically some Theistic Satanist bullshit where Satan is the good guy!"

That's basically what I got from all that.

Let's correct you.

1. Okay fair enough, but you really went to extremes.
2. Read what I said in response to that.
3. That rule said nothing about religion.
4. NO. Again, it's basically saying "don't be nice to people who aren't nice to you." I highly doubt it's saying be a dick to EVERYONE. Grow up.
5. That was idiotic, even for you. A real stretch.
6. No, fuck the people that don't want to help themselves and fix their problems, and instead take advantage of you!
7. HOW the FUCK did you even come to that conclusion??? The rule encourages RESISTING such behavior that goes too far!
8. Again, I didn't like this rule but you leave more stretch marks than a 50 year old's boobs.
9. Uh-uh. Again. Every religion has something to be afraid of, and Satan is just that. That's what makes him so interesting to metal, the fact that he's scary!

[Kar-Esseria]

Get the (Slip)knot out of your panties, I was being satirical.

Kar I guess you're no longer the whipping boy of this thread.

Still, LaVeyan Satanism just sounds like a club of hypocritical, contradictory, edgy Atheists who believe in magic.

At least Theistic Satanists have common decency, even if they really don't worship who they claim to.

[Revanchism]

Temnozor is best folk metal
Incidentally they have a song titled Arkona

What's a good album by them?

Folkstorm of the Azure Nights and Eastern Hammer are good.

Also, I'll have you all know I killed a dog once and I only cried with blood on my hands for two hours

[Corrian]

The hell, this thread moves ridiculously fast now. Wish the general music discussion thread was more active, too

[Kiaculta]

Kar I guess you're no longer the whipping boy of this thread.

Still, LaVeyan Satanism just sounds like a club of hypocritical, contradictory, edgy Atheists who believe in magic.

At least Theistic Satanists have common decency, even if they really don't worship who they claim to.

You didn't even read it, did you? You came up with all the stereotypes that people have about metalheads in general...

[NeuPolska]

Kar I guess you're no longer the whipping boy of this thread.

Still, LaVeyan Satanism just sounds like a club of hypocritical, contradictory, edgy Atheists who believe in magic.

At least Theistic Satanists have common decency, even if they really don't worship who they claim to.

No, no, sorry, you mentioned Slipknot, I wasn't referring to your conversation with Kia.