Summer Short Story Contest! (2013)

[Unitaristic Regions]

Hey, you just became my favorite nazi! Although that's not a very long list...

I think I am a lot of people's favorite Nazi. Being insincere in my Nazism probably helps a lot, especially with the Jewish posters.

It's hard to be angry at someone when his name is nazi flower power

[Conserative Morality]

Judgement for NFP:

Characters - 14/25

Plot - 23/25

Setting - 12/15

Creativity - 14/15

Style - 10/15

Grammar/spelling - 5/5

Overall - 78/100

Judgement for Occupied Deutschland

Characters - 15/25
I couldn't pinpoint anyone's voice, really, which was a major problem. Characterization is formed in large part by voice - the attitude and the details were there, but not a distinctive and consistent mode of speaking (Not thinking, mind you - the narrative through Tiffany's eyes was much better; it was her speech patterns that were wonky), which is major.

Plot - 22/25

Setting - 12/15

Creativity - 10/15
I don't watch/read much in the way of crime fiction, but I feel like there wasn't much new done here.

Style - 9/15
Although I'm sure there were plenty of movie references I missed due to... different taste in cinema from Tiffany, overall I felt like the constant calls to other works of fiction helped lend it a certain je ne sais pas to the story that I quite enjoyed.

While the narrative avoided the aforementioned voice problem, it had plenty of problems in its own right.

Grammar/spelling - 3/5
Grammar was a more significant problem than spelling, and not in the 'casual speech' sort of way, in the 'that doesn't even sound correct' sort of way. Mostly punctuation, but there were instances in which tense and such were a problem.

Overall - 70/100

Judgement for Bodobol

Overall - Occupied Deutschland had the truth of it - mere numbers cannot judge this story. Three drunken Brazilians/100

Judgement for Xoriet

Characters - 14/25
I feel like the characters started to develop independent voices near the end of the story, but by then... well... the end is a little late for that.

Plot - 15/25

Setting - 8/15
I didn't feel a strong connection to the time period, despite knowing and understanding both time and place - not a good sign. A lack of immersion picks away at all other aspects of a story, and can completely topple an otherwise excellent, or even perfect piece. Points for some decent scenery, though.

Creativity - 10/15
I'm not certain that there's much in the way of new (Or rather, unusual, as there is very little new under the sun) ground being tread here, nor a particularly interesting take on the subject matter. Nevertheless, it's not derivative either, to my knowledge.

Style - 12/15
Not necessarily bad, but somewhat flowery for my tastes. I would suggest, purely as a matter of personal opinion, that you restrict such flowery prose for more important events that either a specific character finds to evoke particularly strong feelings, or else the narrative wishes to portray it as having particular significance. However, despite my personal feelings that it is somewhat overused in the story, when there is a matter of importance to focus on the style really shines. It's difficult, I understand, to strike a balance between a consistent tone and poetic emphasis, but I feel that there is certainly potential here.

Grammar/spelling - 5/5
I didn't notice anything.

Overall - 64/100

Judgement for Pinkville

Characters - 5/25
No one really had any serious characterization.

Plot - 7/25
Soldiers fighting horse-people burn down their village.

Setting - 5/15
I had trouble following any of the details of the setting.

Creativity - 7/15

Style - 5/15

"I hate fucking horses..."

I too strongly dislike copulating with horses. Overall, the writing was choppy and unfocused.

Grammar/spelling - 5/5

Overall - 34/100

Judgement for Jello Biafra

Characters - 10/25

Plot - 7?/25

Setting - 6/15

Creativity - 5/15

Style - 4/15
Suffers strongly from talking head syndrome. The 'humor' seems to have run off of the idea that random things happening, well, randomly, is funny. I didn't find that to be true at all.

Grammar/spelling - 5/5
No mistakes that I saw.

Overall - 37/100

Judgement for Page

Characters - 22/25

Plot - 23/25

Setting - 14/15

Creativity - 15/15

Style - 12/15

Grammar/spelling - 5/5

Overall - 88/100

Judgement for Mkuki

Characters - 22/25

Plot - 23/25

Setting - 13/15

Creativity - 15/15

Style - 11/15
Overall, not bad, but a little stunted in spots and engaged in overuse of the German language. When there is a phrase that can be directly translated into the language you're writing in, don't bother with keeping the native word for it. It just makes things sound awkward. If there isn't a specific reason (Lack of understanding, limited understanding, etc), just keep to the language of the rest of the story.

Grammar/spelling - 5/5

Overall - 89/100

Judgement for Unitaristic Regions

Characters - 19/25

Plot - 20/25

Setting - 12/15

Creativity - 12/15

Style - 5/15

Grammar/spelling - 3/5

Overall - 61/100

Judgement for Forsher

Characters - 17/25

Plot - 20/25

Setting - 15/15

Creativity - 12/15

Style - 12/15

Grammar/spelling - 2/5

Overall - 78/100

Sorry about the lack of comments, I got burnt out here.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Style - 5/15

"I hate fucking horses..."

I too strongly dislike copulating with horses.

That's reassuring.

Sorry about the lack of comments, I got burnt out here.

No worries. At least none of the judges disappeared for once.

[Shaggai]

There will be a fall contest, right? And if so, when will it start?

[Nazi Flower Power]

There will be a fall contest, right? And if so, when will it start?

There should be a fall contest. A couple people have expressed interest in it and I have an idea for a story.

[Forsher]

There will be a fall contest, right? And if so, when will it start?

There should be a fall contest. A couple people have expressed interest in it and I have an idea for a story.

Definitely, unthemed though.

[Nazi Flower Power]

There should be a fall contest. A couple people have expressed interest in it and I have an idea for a story.

Definitely, unthemed though.

Yeah, that Halloween one did not work as well as the regular unthemed contests.

[Jello Biafra]

I presume the winner is the person who got the highest (average) score, but it should be formally announced anyway.
Unless there is no winner and we all get trophies.

[Forsher]

Definitely, unthemed though.

Yeah, that Halloween one did not work as well as the regular unthemed contests.

I quite liked my story though. I think it was reasonably middle of the road in terms of its reception when compared to my other ones (i.e. near the bottom when compared to those who aren't Forsher).

I presume the winner is the person who got the highest (average) score, but it should be formally announced anyway.
Unless there is no winner and we all get trophies.

Normally, CM edits the thread to post the winner having averaged the scores but I think he's a bit short of time so hasn't got around to it yet. I suppose it doesn't matter who does the averaging though so maybe you're volunteering?