HALLOWEEN/Fall Short Story Contest! (2012) Winners Announced

[Ende]

snip

I'm honestly rather unsurprised, seeing as I wrote this at three in the morning about two years ago.

but qazox's entry was worse

[Nazi Flower Power]

but qazox's entry was worse

How so?

[Nazi Flower Power]

PARTIALLY BLIND PEOPLE

Characters - 9/25

The narrator has a backstory and some interesting gadgetry, but not a lot of personality or emotions. You need to get more into what he experiences emotionally, not just physically. The girl doesn't really need to be in the story at all if she is going to have no personality, drop out of sight at the end of the first scene, and not come back. I liked the narrator's boss yelling at him on the neural implants.

Plot - 13/25

The set up is not bad, but the end is really weak. It might work better if the scenes in the jungle were expanded.

Setting - 13/15

It's an interesting setting, but I was sometimes confused. When you are writing about a real place like Siberia or Morocco or whatever, you can rely on what your readers already know about it, but when the setting is unfamiliar we get confused more easily.

It was not clear if the opening takes place on a boat on a river or spacecraft traveling between planets. There are places where it sounds like "downriver" is being used as slang for "to the next planet," but the reference to the girl not being used to Lalonde's climate kind of threw me off. If she is not on Lalonde yet because that scene is on a spacecraft between planets, then why comment on adjusting to the climate?

There was also a place where the words "savannah" and "jungle" were used to describe what I thought was supposed to be the same area. Savannah and jungle are not the same type of terrain.

Creativity - 10/10

You have some interesting stuff going on, so points for creativity.

Style - 4/10

There is some flowery imagery that seemed out of place and there were some places that the sentence structure was confusing. For example:

She had a petite nose and small curved lips with rosy cheeks that made her look like a fairy or an elf.

Does she have rosy cheeks or do her lips have rosy cheeks?

Theme - 4/10

Most of the story reads like sci-fi adventure more than horror. It might have worked better as a horror story if you expanded the part between getting off the boat and the big fight scene and used that space to build up more suspense.

Grammar/spelling - 3/5

There are some typos, and I's confoozed about this sentence:

Dungarees and a tight vest I discovered I had put on where common on Lalonde.

There is also this (emphasis mine):

my sour view towards colonists surely means I'm wasn't one.

I'm was intelligence agency operative

Where you did this twice in a row, I was not sure if it was a mistake or an attempt at creating a futuristic dialect. It kind of reminded me of Mondi Sendlinger, my character from the story I entered in the summer short story contest, who speaks English with screwy grammar. Unfortunately, it looks like it was accidental.

Overall - 56/100

FORSHER

Characters - 5/25

They have no personality. Their origin stories are not bad, but you need to do more with them on-stage after introducing them. The Demon Warlord sounds like he might be fun if he actually appeared rather than just being referred to in the explanation of Twelve's background. Basically, we need to see these characters in action.

Plot - 6/25

It might work in a novel where we get to follow Vincent and Twelve through all their adventures leading up to this scene. It doesn't work as a short story. You have too much background and not enough action.

Setting - 4/15

Obviously a plot device designed to set up this showdown. You did describe the scene so that it was easy to visualize, but it was unfortunately a boring scene.

Creativity - 6/10

It sounds like there is some interesting mystical stuff going on in the background, but a duel to the death is not too original. The bit about Merlin letting his qualifications lapse was amusing.

Style - 3/10

I'm not sure if it's thesaurus abuse or just overthinking, but the writing feels kind of forced. Also, it gets a bit infodumpy in some places.

Theme - 2/10

Sorry, but it looks like it's been pieced together from parts of an epic fantasy novel.

Grammar/spelling - 4.5/5

You missed a comma or two, but overall the grammar and spelling were good.

Overall - 25.5/100

COMMUNIST QUINNTOPIA

Characters - 15/25

Albert Holloway is a pretty good villain. Jack is OK as a protagonist, but you could have done a little more to get into his head and help the reader identify with him. I am less impressed with Jack's friends. Some of the dialog is clunky and they must not be very bright to keep going into the mansion after Robert gets hurt. Robert and Michael are kind of interchangeable, and having the token girl be the most panicky character is a tired cliche.

Plot - 20/25

It mostly works, but it has some cliches and it is not very realistic for them to keep going into the mansion instead of taking Robert back to civilization to get medical help.

Setting - 14/15

The setting is a little stereotypical, but it fits the story.

Creativity - 6/10

Even though there are a lot of cliches, you have enough detail to keep it from being too boring. I like the thing about the natural gas.

Style - 3/10

The biggest problem with this story is the clunky writing, though it does improve toward the end.

I don't know if you're familiar with the term "Said Book-isms," but you have a lot of them. The Said Book is like a specialized thesaurus with words you can use instead of "said," and Said Book-isms are when you overuse words like "retorted," "replied," "snapped," etc. Sometimes, you are better off just using "said."

Theme - 10/10

You nailed this. It would have been creepier without the distraction of the clunky dialog and if you didn't have your protagonist doing anything braindead to arrange his meeting with the ghost. However, those issues are covered under "style," "plot," and "characters."

Grammar/spelling - 4/5

In dialog, when a new character starts speaking, you should start a new paragraph. This should be 2 sentences:

It smashed, and an array of swords, axes and other weapons spilled out - they pierced his legs and severed his left hand.

Other than that, it seems OK.


Overall - 72/100

[Forsher]

Just some thoughts of mine of the judging which is, so far, very good.

FORSHER

Characters - 5/25

They have no personality. Their origin stories are not bad, but you need to do more with them on-stage after introducing them. The Demon Warlord sounds like he might be fun if he actually appeared rather than just being referred to in the explanation of Twelve's background. Basically, we need to see these characters in action.

A fair criticism. There's some dialogue and that was really everything that happened.

Plot - 6/25

It might work in a novel where we get to follow Vincent and Twelve through all their adventures leading up to this scene. It doesn't work as a short story. You have too much background and not enough action.

It may have, if it was a longer short story.

Setting - 4/15

Obviously a plot device designed to set up this showdown. You did describe the scene so that it was easy to visualize, but it was unfortunately a boring scene.

I'm an accountant. Not really, but I believe they are stereotypically boring.

Creativity - 6/10

It sounds like there is some interesting mystical stuff going on in the background, but a duel to the death is not too original. The bit about Merlin letting his qualifications lapse was amusing.

Oh dear... humour in a horror story, that's going to hurt me.

Style - 3/10

I'm not sure if it's thesaurus abuse or just overthinking, but the writing feels kind of forced. Also, it gets a bit infodumpy in some places.

I can assure you no thesaurus ever got near it. The writing was quite forced, I said I would enter and then I woke up and realised I had no story and then there was this.

Theme - 2/10

Sorry, but it looks like it's been pieced together from parts of an epic fantasy novel.

But it had demons! And death! Well, sort of death... undead?

Grammar/spelling - 4.5/5

You missed a comma or two, but overall the grammar and spelling were good.

Yes! A half point.

Overall - 25.5/100

Above my average score (with Johz's marking excluded as in the official record) for the most hastily written piece of the lot. I must continue this trend.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Just some thoughts of mine of the judging which is, so far, very good.

FORSHER



A fair criticism. There's some dialogue and that was really everything that happened.



It may have, if it was a longer short story.



I'm an accountant. Not really, but I believe they are stereotypically boring.



Oh dear... humour in a horror story, that's going to hurt me.



I can assure you no thesaurus ever got near it. The writing was quite forced, I said I would enter and then I woke up and realised I had no story and then there was this.



But it had demons! And death! Well, sort of death... undead?



Yes! A half point.

Above my average score (with Johz's marking excluded as in the official record) for the most hastily written piece of the lot. I must continue this trend.

I actually feel a little bad about giving you such a low score, so I am glad you are taking it in stride. Writing in a hurry does explain some of the issues with plot and character development.

[Communist Quinntopia]

redacted

[Conserative Morality]

Well, I wasn't expecting it to do extremely well. I just hastily threw it together as soon as I entered. I originally planned to have it without dialogue. However, 72 overall is pretty good.

P.S. Will there be a Christmas short story contest?

Themeless, I believe, but yes, these are seasonal.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Well, I wasn't expecting it to do extremely well. I just hastily threw it together as soon as I entered. I originally planned to have it without dialogue. However, 72 overall is pretty good.

P.S. Will there be a Christmas short story contest?

Themeless, I believe, but yes, these are seasonal.

I kind of like having a theme.

Also, I finished my judgement for your story...

CONSERATIVE MORALITY

Characters - 23/25

Overall the characterization is good. The cigarettes were a nice way to illustrate that George is in over his head and losing it, and you did a good job of getting into his head and showing us his point of view.

It might have been nice to have a little more about the history between George and Clara before he got lured into the cultists' house. This is maybe more of a plot issue, but I'm also a little confused about who Paul was before he got possessed and what he was doing in the house. Was he originally George's partner? He doesn't need a ton of character-development since he's possessed and gets killed in the first scene, but it would be nice to know why he was there. The bit about Frank and George serving in the army together doesn't really add anything to the story.

Plot - 20/25

Similar to what I said about characterization: It's good, but some additional background about how the characters know each other and ended up at this house would be nice. The way you jump straight into the action means that it takes a while to figure out what is going on -- though the opening itself was well-written.

Setting - 13/15

You do a good job of establishing the ambience, but you never said where the house is and there is not any description of the asylum other than "They put me in an asylum."

Creativity - 8/10

Haunted houses and evil cults have been done, but you did it with style and put in enough detail to make it your own.

Style - 8/10

You used the first person viewpoint effectively, and in general it's quite readable; but the sentence fragments and ellipses sometimes get a little choppy. I realize that some of that is deliberate, but sometimes it was too much.

Theme - 10/10

Excellent.

Grammar/spelling - 4/5

I know some of the sentence fragments are part of the conversational tone, but they got a little out of hand, and there was some weird punctuation. And...

I would turn corners that would bend the other way as soon as my eyes were off of them; doors that disappeared whenever I tried to leave the room.

I know how to turn a corner, but how does one turn a door?

Overall - 86/100

[Conserative Morality]

I kind of like having a theme.

Also, I finished my judgement for your story...

CONSERATIVE MORALITY

Characters - 23/25

Overall the characterization is good. The cigarettes were a nice way to illustrate that George is in over his head and losing it, and you did a good job of getting into his head and showing us his point of view.

It might have been nice to have a little more about the history between George and Clara before he got lured into the cultists' house. This is maybe more of a plot issue, but I'm also a little confused about who Paul was before he got possessed and what he was doing in the house. Was he originally George's partner? He doesn't need a ton of character-development since he's possessed and gets killed in the first scene, but it would be nice to know why he was there. The bit about Frank and George serving in the army together doesn't really add anything to the story.

Plot - 20/25

Similar to what I said about characterization: It's good, but some additional background about how the characters know each other and ended up at this house would be nice. The way you jump straight into the action means that it takes a while to figure out what is going on -- though the opening itself was well-written.

Setting - 13/15

You do a good job of establishing the ambience, but you never said where the house is and there is not any description of the asylum other than "They put me in an asylum."

Creativity - 8/10

Haunted houses and evil cults have been done, but you did it with style and put in enough detail to make it your own.

Style - 8/10

You used the first person viewpoint effectively, and in general it's quite readable; but the sentence fragments and ellipses sometimes get a little choppy. I realize that some of that is deliberate, but sometimes it was too much.

Theme - 10/10

Excellent.

Grammar/spelling - 4/5

I know some of the sentence fragments are part of the conversational tone, but they got a little out of hand, and there was some weird punctuation. And...

I would turn corners that would bend the other way as soon as my eyes were off of them; doors that disappeared whenever I tried to leave the room.

I know how to turn a corner, but how does one turn a door?

Overall - 86/100

Originally, I had a significant amount of backstory written in, but I thought leaving it in detracted from the feel of the story itself, so I just removed it. I felt the atmosphere was more important than the details of the history of the characters.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I kind of like having a theme.

Also, I finished my judgement for your story...

CONSERATIVE MORALITY

Characters - 23/25

Overall the characterization is good. The cigarettes were a nice way to illustrate that George is in over his head and losing it, and you did a good job of getting into his head and showing us his point of view.

It might have been nice to have a little more about the history between George and Clara before he got lured into the cultists' house. This is maybe more of a plot issue, but I'm also a little confused about who Paul was before he got possessed and what he was doing in the house. Was he originally George's partner? He doesn't need a ton of character-development since he's possessed and gets killed in the first scene, but it would be nice to know why he was there. The bit about Frank and George serving in the army together doesn't really add anything to the story.

Plot - 20/25

Similar to what I said about characterization: It's good, but some additional background about how the characters know each other and ended up at this house would be nice. The way you jump straight into the action means that it takes a while to figure out what is going on -- though the opening itself was well-written.

Setting - 13/15

You do a good job of establishing the ambience, but you never said where the house is and there is not any description of the asylum other than "They put me in an asylum."

Creativity - 8/10

Haunted houses and evil cults have been done, but you did it with style and put in enough detail to make it your own.

Style - 8/10

You used the first person viewpoint effectively, and in general it's quite readable; but the sentence fragments and ellipses sometimes get a little choppy. I realize that some of that is deliberate, but sometimes it was too much.

Theme - 10/10

Excellent.

Grammar/spelling - 4/5

I know some of the sentence fragments are part of the conversational tone, but they got a little out of hand, and there was some weird punctuation. And...



I know how to turn a corner, but how does one turn a door?

Overall - 86/100

Originally, I had a significant amount of backstory written in, but I thought leaving it in detracted from the feel of the story itself, so I just removed it. I felt the atmosphere was more important than the details of the history of the characters.

It is possible to overdo it with backstory, but I think you cut a little too much. The atmosphere was good, though.

[Nazi Flower Power]

RAMENASIA

Characters - 20/25

You do a good job of introducing the characters, but I would have liked to have a little more about what goes through Chris' head from the point where the police show up through the end of the story.

Plot - 22/25

It's a good plot, but the pacing is not quite perfect. Some scenes feel a little rushed.

Setting - 14/15

The setting is a little generic, but it still works pretty well. As someone who lives in the city, I can relate to it.

Creativity - 9/10

Cursed artifacts have been done before, but you did it in a way that doesn't feel stale or cliche.

Style - 8/10

It's easy to read, but not the most distinctive. As long as you keep having good story ideas, you can keep writing this way, and it will be worth reading; but I think your plots are more interesting than your style. Some of the dialog is not quite as smooth as it could be, but it is still not bad.

Theme - 10/10

If you made it any more horrific, you'd be disqualified for breaking the site rules on gore. Seriously, yuck.

Grammar/spelling - 4.5/5

Good overall, but I can't give you 5/5 because:

He’d keep this guy on his list of potential suspects list, though.

Overall - 87.5/100

[Nazi Flower Power]

MERESHKA

Characters - 18/25

Rhodri is a pretty good viewpoint character, but the other characters are a bit weak. The elf-witch sounds like somebody out of a really bad fantasy novel, and "my love...join me" is kind of cheesy dialog. Why an elf-witch instead of just a normal human character? Unless you need fantasy races, it's usually best to leave them out.

Plot - 19/25

The concept works, but I wish you had started the story a little earlier to include some of the events that led up to Rhodri being in the room with the coffin.

Setting - 3/15

This is actually one of my least favorite things about the story. Normally, setting isn't a big issue, but in this case it was a distraction because you had fantasy elements that added nothing to the story. The Strega is necessary, but I could do without the elf-witch or the vague references to Rhodri's childhood, which appears to have taken place in a rather bland Middle Earth knock-off. Either develop the setting enough to make it interesting or just leave out the extraneous Tolkienian fantasy stuff.

Creativity - 5/10

The idea of having Rhodri find Anna in the coffin instead of the monster he was hunting is good, but the rest of the story suffers from a severe excess of fantasy cliches.

Style - 6/10

It's pretty easy to read, but the dialog is cheesy and some of the imagery is a little hackneyed.

Theme - 9/10

The irrelevant fantasy elements and the implications that Rhodri is some kind of D&D-style adventurer are distracting. Otherwise it works.

Grammar/spelling - 4/5

A few typos and instances of wonky punctuation, but not a major issue. Double quotes or single quotes are both acceptable, but you should not switch back and forth between them in the same story. Double quotes are the standard in American English, single quotes in British, and I am not sure about other countries.

Overall - 64/100

[Forsher]

A few typos and instances of wonky punctuation, but not a major issue. Double quotes or single quotes are both acceptable, but you should not switch back and forth between them in the same story. Double quotes are the standard in American English, single quotes in British, and I am not sure about other countries.

Well, we learnt about a thing called 'speech marks' which look like this " and this ". 66 and 99.

So, it really come downs to whether or not I feel like talking about 'the darkness of man's heart' or "I saw your fire".

[Nazi Flower Power]

A few typos and instances of wonky punctuation, but not a major issue. Double quotes or single quotes are both acceptable, but you should not switch back and forth between them in the same story. Double quotes are the standard in American English, single quotes in British, and I am not sure about other countries.

Well, we learnt about a thing called 'speech marks' which look like this " and this ". 66 and 99.

So, it really come downs to whether or not I feel like talking about 'the darkness of man's heart' or "I saw your fire".

There was at least a typo or two besides the quote thing, so I'm not going to change the score even if the quotes are some kind of local usage thing.

[Qazox]

72/100? I just got burned out towards the end w/ my story. (all too common with most of my stories) But I'll take a tie for 3rd place (so far).

[Forsher]

72/100? I just got burned out towards the end w/ my story. (all too common with most of my stories) But I'll take a tie for 3rd place (so far).

I think I've got the hearts victory all wrapped up.

Well, we learnt about a thing called 'speech marks' which look like this " and this ". 66 and 99.

So, it really come downs to whether or not I feel like talking about 'the darkness of man's heart' or "I saw your fire".

There was at least a typo or two besides the quote thing, so I'm not going to change the score even if the quotes are some kind of local usage thing.

Everything I've ever read on the matter says either or is fine but not both. That post was just more about providing what happens in other countries as you said you weren't so sure (and to be frank, my primary school seems to have been somewhat isolated).

[Ramenasia]

Theme - 10/10

If you made it any more horrific, you'd be disqualified for breaking the site rules on gore. Seriously, yuck.

I tried not to go crazy with it, but I imagine that human sacrifices in general are messy affairs. Especially those conducted by malevolent Aztec spirits.

Good overall, but I can't give you 5/5 because:

He’d keep this guy on his list of potential suspects list, though.

I winced. Can't believe I missed that.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Theme - 10/10

If you made it any more horrific, you'd be disqualified for breaking the site rules on gore. Seriously, yuck.

I tried not to go crazy with it, but I imagine that human sacrifices in general are messy affairs. Especially those conducted by malevolent Aztec spirits.

It was a pretty well-written scene, just yucky.

Good overall, but I can't give you 5/5 because:

I winced. Can't believe I missed that.

I know the feeling, but everybody misses stuff once in a while when they're proofreading.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Everything I've ever read on the matter says either or is fine but not both. That post was just more about providing what happens in other countries as you said you weren't so sure (and to be frank, my primary school seems to have been somewhat isolated).

OK. I was specifically taught to use double quotes, but that's because I went to school in the US.

I tried not to dock points for people who are in other countries and were just writing their local dialect, but it is a bit confusing to judge something like this where we have people from all over the world.

[Forsher]

Everything I've ever read on the matter says either or is fine but not both. That post was just more about providing what happens in other countries as you said you weren't so sure (and to be frank, my primary school seems to have been somewhat isolated).

OK. I was specifically taught to use double quotes, but that's because I went to school in the US.

I tried not to dock points for people who are in other countries and were just writing their local dialect, but it is a bit confusing to judge something like this where we have people from all over the world.

I suppose that is true. I don't think that helped my previous entry... Johz (who's a Brit) scored it much higher than the other three judges so...

[Nazi Flower Power]

OK. I was specifically taught to use double quotes, but that's because I went to school in the US.

I tried not to dock points for people who are in other countries and were just writing their local dialect, but it is a bit confusing to judge something like this where we have people from all over the world.

I suppose that is true. I don't think that helped my previous entry... Johz (who's a Brit) scored it much higher than the other three judges so...

I wouldn't put too much stock in Johz's judging given his ranking of Occupied Deutschland and Ramenasia's stories. That said, I am sure it did not help you when the other judges completely missed the Roland thing.

[Unidox]

Characters - 12.5/25
Plot - 12.5/25
Setting - 7.5/15
Creativity - 8/10
Style - 5/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 54.5/100

Qazox' Entry

Characters - 20/25
Plot - 23/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 10/10
Theme - 7/10
Grammar/spelling - 3/5
Overall - 84/100

Partially Blind People's Entry

Characters - 21/25
Plot - 18/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 2/5
Overall - 74/100

Forsher's Entry

Characters - 24/25
Plot - 15/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 9/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 81/100

Characters - 10/25
Plot - 13/25
Setting - 8/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 3/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 49/100

Conserative Morality's Entry

Characters - 23/25
Plot - 25/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 6/10
Style - 8/10
Theme - 9/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 91/100

Ramenasia's Entry

Characters - 18/25
Plot - 20/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 6/10
Theme - 6/10
Grammar/spelling - 4/5
Overall - 72/100

Characters - 19/25
Plot - 24/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 8/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 85/100

[Qazox]

Characters - 12.5/25
Plot - 12.5/25
Setting - 7.5/15
Creativity - 8/10
Style - 5/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 54.5/100

Qazox' Entry

Characters - 20/25
Plot - 23/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 10/10
Theme - 7/10
Grammar/spelling - 3/5
Overall - 84/100

Partially Blind People's Entry

Characters - 21/25
Plot - 18/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 2/5
Overall - 74/100

Forsher's Entry

Characters - 24/25
Plot - 15/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 9/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 81/100

Characters - 10/25
Plot - 13/25
Setting - 8/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 3/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 49/100

Conserative Morality's Entry

Characters - 23/25
Plot - 25/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 6/10
Style - 8/10
Theme - 9/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 91/100

Ramenasia's Entry

Characters - 18/25
Plot - 20/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 6/10
Theme - 6/10
Grammar/spelling - 4/5
Overall - 72/100

Characters - 19/25
Plot - 24/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 8/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 85/100

Thanks!

[Nazi Flower Power]

Characters - 12.5/25
Plot - 12.5/25
Setting - 7.5/15
Creativity - 8/10
Style - 5/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 54.5/100

Qazox' Entry

Characters - 20/25
Plot - 23/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 10/10
Theme - 7/10
Grammar/spelling - 3/5
Overall - 84/100

Partially Blind People's Entry

Characters - 21/25
Plot - 18/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 4/10
Grammar/spelling - 2/5
Overall - 74/100

Forsher's Entry

Characters - 24/25
Plot - 15/25
Setting - 14/15
Creativity - 9/10
Style - 9/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 81/100

Characters - 10/25
Plot - 13/25
Setting - 8/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 3/10
Theme - 5/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 49/100

Conserative Morality's Entry

Characters - 23/25
Plot - 25/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 6/10
Style - 8/10
Theme - 9/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 91/100

Ramenasia's Entry

Characters - 18/25
Plot - 20/25
Setting - 13/15
Creativity - 5/10
Style - 6/10
Theme - 6/10
Grammar/spelling - 4/5
Overall - 72/100

Characters - 19/25
Plot - 24/25
Setting - 15/15
Creativity - 7/10
Style - 7/10
Theme - 8/10
Grammar/spelling - 5/5
Overall - 85/100

Thanks!

I was expecting the other judges to break the tie between you and Commie Quinn, but I wasn't expecting anyone to do it by such a wide margin.

[Forsher]

Thanks!

I was expecting the other judges to break the tie between you and Commie Quinn, but I wasn't expecting anyone to do it by such a wide margin.

I'm wondering if that is meant for me. After all mine is the one above and it's not far off four times what you judged mine so... whereas 49 is only about twice as high...