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Something I wrote a while ago.

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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Tue May 26, 2009 8:01 am

Obssession!

Scare me, you do, great Thief, like dusty cathedrals;
Claim me, you do, like harpsichords; our cursed chests,
rooms of eternal mourning and mortality,
To your guitar chords they respond with their howling.

Ocean, I loathe you! Your tremors and tumults,
I find these in my spirit! That wicked laughter
of the defeated, plagued of moans and insults,
I hear these in the enormous cackle of the sea.

Oh, how much would you please me, Night, if tissue-less
and starless, of whose light, he speaks a known language
were I to find you!
Alas, I search for the Nothingness, the darkness, your nakedness!

But the very shadows are a cloudy curtain,
where millions of beings pour forth,
vanishing beings, of familiar visages!

He's more real than those I can touch...

July 16, 2008
Slava Ukraini
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Supposedly heartless, & a d*ck.||Is maith an t-earra an tsíocháin.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Brutland and Norden
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Brutland and Norden » Tue May 26, 2009 11:44 am

Psst... It's "obsession". Single, then double S. Otherwise, very nice. I think I know your inspiration. ;)
Last edited by Brutland and Norden on Tue May 26, 2009 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Tue May 26, 2009 6:31 pm

Brutland and Norden wrote:Psst... It's "obsession". Single, then double S. Otherwise, very nice. I think I know your inspiration. ;)


Thanks for the correction. And I would agree, only that was written way before the person you're thinking of came into my life. ;)
Slava Ukraini
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Supposedly heartless, & a d*ck.||Is maith an t-earra an tsíocháin.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Rutenberg
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Founded: Jun 02, 2009
Ex-Nation

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Rutenberg » Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:25 am

Kewl :clap: :clap: :clap:

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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:19 am

Rutenberg wrote:Kewl :clap: :clap: :clap:


Thankies. :)
Slava Ukraini
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Supposedly heartless, & a d*ck.||Is maith an t-earra an tsíocháin.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Buffett and Colbert
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Founded: Oct 05, 2008
Ex-Nation

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Buffett and Colbert » Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:09 pm

I quite like what the poems mention, but it seems rather scattered at random. The stanzas could flow into each other better. The structure and sentence fluency is fine, perhaps the organization could be tweaked a bit.
If the knowledge isn't useful, you haven't found the lesson yet. ~Iniika
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Buffett and Colbert wrote:Clever, but your Jedi mind tricks don't work on me.

His Jedi mind tricks are insignificant compared to the power of Buffy's sex appeal.
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I accuse your precious law class of statutory rape.

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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:53 pm

Buffett and Colbert wrote:I quite like what the poems mention, but it seems rather scattered at random. The stanzas could flow into each other better. The structure and sentence fluency is fine, perhaps the organization could be tweaked a bit.


My English writing has declined in the past few months. I think I should've stopped myself before posting these poems here.
Slava Ukraini
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Supposedly heartless, & a d*ck.||Is maith an t-earra an tsíocháin.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

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Iron Chariots
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Founded: Jun 08, 2009
Ex-Nation

Re: Something I wrote a while ago.

Postby Iron Chariots » Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:17 am

Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Buffett and Colbert wrote:I quite like what the poems mention, but it seems rather scattered at random. The stanzas could flow into each other better. The structure and sentence fluency is fine, perhaps the organization could be tweaked a bit.


My English writing has declined in the past few months. I think I should've stopped myself before posting these poems here.

I disagree!
If you're conflicted over whether or not to post any more, I very much hope that you do. :)
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