NationStates

This is, without a doubt, a ridiculously stupid question. Nevertheless, we're all n00bs once. Anyway, I have been looking at other nations and I noticed that they all had founders. Whale-Loving John, King Somebody, etc. How do I get myself one of those?

I'm guessing you mean region, rather than nation.

The way to become a founder is to, well, found a region. This can be done by:
1) Go to your region page.
2) Click the link (under the World Factbook Entry) saying 'Move to a new region!'
3) Click the link marked 'Create a New Region'

Hope this helps.

Edit: Reading back over what you said, I'm not sure if that's what you were asking. Did you mean how you get a national Leader? If that's the case, you need to wait until you get a specific Issue (for which I think you need to get a population of about 750 million, if memory serves me correctly).

Founders... I suppose you mean nation leaders. You have to wait until you receive the appropriate issues. The leader issue is only valid for nations with a population of 750 million, so you'll have to play for about 4 and a half months more.