Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2022 11:48 pm
#1524: Built to Rule [Daarwyrth; ed: Pogaria] [Draft link]
The prince and princess of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ royal family have long been trying to conceive a child of their own, yet the effort hasn’t born any fruit. Thus, it came as a shock to the entire nation when they presented the newest addition to the royal family: not a child of flesh and bone, but bolts and circuitry.
1. “Well butter my bum and call me a biscuit!” exclaims Duchess [Miley/@@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@] von Schwurdlewaffentstein as her powdered wig falls off her head in unison with her bafflement. “And that... wired thing stands near the top of the line of succession? No, I will not have it! The purity of our nobility cannot be besmirched by oil and ensnared by circuits! Only those purely of flesh and blood should have the right to inherit crowns, titles, and royal estates. No exceptions!”
2. “Does it really matter whether someone came into this world by womb or assembly line?” questions famous technophile Noel Tusk while cradling his child Z-AE-O-VII, who glitches up a burp. “The royal family is fulfilling a crucial role here, as they’re normalising the conception of offspring via artificial means! In fact, we should move this child of silicon up the line of succession to heir apparent, to truly represent a society where the biological and artificial live hand-in... hang on, I need to feed my widdle cutie pie.” He plugs a charger cord into the robot’s posterior, and the little tyke’s face literally lights up.
Effect: The line of royal succession just experienced a hardware interrupt.
3. “By Violet, we had it all wrong with the lizard-people!” screams infamous conspiracy theorist Jonny Alexson into a microphone. “It’s Her Majesty Skynet the Annihilator that we should have feared all along! This is not a drill, people, this is not a drill! We need to act now; there’s no time to waste. Destroy all those rusting buckets of bolts trying to steal our great country from us, and enslave those too weak to defend themselves! Cut their cords, hack into their heads! We are at war, people, AT WAR!”
The prince and princess of the @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ royal family have long been trying to conceive a child of their own, yet the effort hasn’t born any fruit. Thus, it came as a shock to the entire nation when they presented the newest addition to the royal family: not a child of flesh and bone, but bolts and circuitry.
1. “Well butter my bum and call me a biscuit!” exclaims Duchess [Miley/@@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@] von Schwurdlewaffentstein as her powdered wig falls off her head in unison with her bafflement. “And that... wired thing stands near the top of the line of succession? No, I will not have it! The purity of our nobility cannot be besmirched by oil and ensnared by circuits! Only those purely of flesh and blood should have the right to inherit crowns, titles, and royal estates. No exceptions!”
2. “Does it really matter whether someone came into this world by womb or assembly line?” questions famous technophile Noel Tusk while cradling his child Z-AE-O-VII, who glitches up a burp. “The royal family is fulfilling a crucial role here, as they’re normalising the conception of offspring via artificial means! In fact, we should move this child of silicon up the line of succession to heir apparent, to truly represent a society where the biological and artificial live hand-in... hang on, I need to feed my widdle cutie pie.” He plugs a charger cord into the robot’s posterior, and the little tyke’s face literally lights up.
Effect: The line of royal succession just experienced a hardware interrupt.
3. “By Violet, we had it all wrong with the lizard-people!” screams infamous conspiracy theorist Jonny Alexson into a microphone. “It’s Her Majesty Skynet the Annihilator that we should have feared all along! This is not a drill, people, this is not a drill! We need to act now; there’s no time to waste. Destroy all those rusting buckets of bolts trying to steal our great country from us, and enslave those too weak to defend themselves! Cut their cords, hack into their heads! We are at war, people, AT WAR!”