NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Jutsa]

Here's #1518 option 2: It's very similar to option three

“Don’t fall for his bait,” smiles Jessica Primrose Bézeaux, the energetic owner of many of the nearby facilities, who carries a pair of giant scissors to cut the ceremonial ribbon at yet another data center down the road. “Using water for cooling is the industrial standard, it works, and it is much cheaper! Leave us alone, and I promise we’ll get some guys to look at utilizing the water more efficiently, and maybe throw a few Iots towards local conservation and replenishment projects.”

[Rocain Founder]

Here's #1518 option 2: It's the same text, probably just a different effect line.

It's not the same text: It replaces "one of the party functionaries overseeing the nearby facilities" in option 3 with "the energetic owner of many of the nearby facilities" as the speaker.

[Jutsa]

Oh my! So it does! Shows where my eyeballs aren't!

Updated my post, thank you

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 045

---

You can never truly leave NationStates. A good part of you stays with this site. Forever.

- Added 10 new issues.
- More changes to older issues - fixing formatting, adding options, etc.
- Fixes Issue 766 where a lack of a closing tag blue-ified the whole post.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 046

---

Under_The_Seaaaaaa.

- Changed ALL of the posts to change the Macros. Now most macro should have underscores.
- Changed Issue 488's misplaced tags.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

As a general disclaimer, some non-standard macros may still not have their underscores. Will need to root them out... another day.

[Darmen]

#1501: Diamond in the Rough

4. “Those gophers are what drove the golf course out of business in the first place,” rants Inder Holst, the golf course’s former groundskeeper, while playing with a strange-smelling modeling clay. “And I couldn’t kill ‘em cause I couldn’t use any of the good poisons because of stupid @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ environmental regulations. If those regulations were loosened a bit, maybe I wouldn’t be out of a job and back living with my mother. But she does give me pancakes in the morning, so I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”

While I don't have any conclusive proof as I've yet to receive this issue, the name Inder Holst of option four, Issue #1501, is most likely NOT random, but rather a reference to Bill Murray's character in Caddyshack and this specific line.

[Aegeonia]

I don’t know where else to put this but today I got this issue:

VOL. 32 NO. 226CITY FINAL
SUNDAY JUNE 12, 2022
Expats Plea for Help in War-Torn Country

Experts is Spelled Wrong, just thought I would tell someone so the Developers can Fix It

[Saint Tomas and the Northern Ice Islands]

I don’t know where else to put this but today I got this issue:

VOL. 32 NO. 226CITY FINAL
SUNDAY JUNE 12, 2022
Expats Plea for Help in War-Torn Country

Experts is Spelled Wrong, just thought I would tell someone so the Developers can Fix It

This is the wrong thread - go to the Help us fix old issues one. Also, that’s not a typo. Expats refers to expatriates, which are the people pleading for help. Not experts.

[Malanasia]

#1519
Remittances Running Rampant

The Issue
As @@NAME@@'s economy has boomed, both the quantity and value of remittances sent home by migrant workers have been steadily climbing. Nervous nationalists claim that not only is money being sucked out of the economy, but that it is also directly fueling the growth of your rivals, particularly Bigtopia.

The Debate
“It’s all in the numbers, dear Leader,” suggests Dorothy Barnes, your Director of Economic Simplification, as she frantically types on her calculator. “The increase in remittances directly correlates with a decrease in domestic spending. If we put an additional tax on overseas remittances, we could make up some of our losses, plus it will encourage more people to use their money here rather than over in that awful Bigtopia place. More money for you, more money for the @@DEMONYM_ADJECTIVE@@ people!”

“Where did you study economics, ye olde Isolationist University?” snarks bank CEO Jean-Paul Gorbachev, sauntering into the room in a suit worth more than the average Bigtopian makes in a year. “The economy these days is global, not local! A tax on remittances would undermine our interconnected banking system, and weaken us in the global community. Basic economics says we should open up our physical and financial borders even more, to encourage our neighbours to expatriate and join our workforce. With no artificial limits, the potential for wealth and economic growth is endless!”

After a brief awkward silence, ardent nationalist Naomi Mulcair emerges from behind a flagpole in your office. “I have three words for you: Ban. All. Foreigners! Immigrants are more trouble than they’re worth. It’s not just the remit-ya-doodles you talk of, but those people steal local jobs from the poor, hungry, native @@DEMONYM_NOUN@@! I bet most of these foreign workers are undocumented overstayers too, so none of this is getting declared properly for tax purposes either. We need to take care of our own people first!”

“I have a... less drastic solution,” interjects your Foreign Minister hurriedly. “I propose a revamp of our immigration system to include a skilled worker policy, where we only accept the crème de la crème of immigrants. By carefully targeting highly skilled professionals, we’ll cut down on the remittances while still ensuring vital workers fill shortages in our job market. We get more high-earning professionals who pay their taxes, and fewer of these Bigtopian push-cart operators sending their wages back home to fuel their corrupt government. It’s win-win!”

Author: Jim the Baptist
Editor: Verdant Haven

[The Candy Of Bottles]

#1519
Remittances Running Rampant

The Issue
As @@NAME@@'s economy has boomed, both the quantity and value of remittances sent home by migrant workers have been steadily climbing. Nervous nationalists claim that not only is money being sucked out of the economy, but that it is also directly fueling the growth of your rivals, particularly Bigtopia.

The Debate
“It’s all in the numbers, dear Leader,” suggests Dorothy Barnes, your Director of Economic Simplification, as she frantically types on her calculator. “The increase in remittances directly correlates with a decrease in domestic spending. If we put an additional tax on overseas remittances, we could make up some of our losses, plus it will encourage more people to use their money here rather than over in that awful Bigtopia place. More money for you, more money for the @@DEMONYM_ADJECTIVE@@ people!”

“Where did you study economics, ye olde Isolationist University?” snarks bank CEO Jean-Paul Gorbachev, sauntering into the room in a suit worth more than the average Bigtopian makes in a year. “The economy these days is global, not local! A tax on remittances would undermine our interconnected banking system, and weaken us in the global community. Basic economics says we should open up our physical and financial borders even more, to encourage our neighbours to expatriate and join our workforce. With no artificial limits, the potential for wealth and economic growth is endless!”

After a brief awkward silence, ardent nationalist Naomi Mulcair emerges from behind a flagpole in your office. “I have three words for you: Ban. All. Foreigners! Immigrants are more trouble than they’re worth. It’s not just the remit-ya-doodles you talk of, but those people steal local jobs from the poor, hungry, native @@DEMONYM_NOUN@@! I bet most of these foreign workers are undocumented overstayers too, so none of this is getting declared properly for tax purposes either. We need to take care of our own people first!”

“I have a... less drastic solution,” interjects your Foreign Minister hurriedly. “I propose a revamp of our immigration system to include a skilled worker policy, where we only accept the crème de la crème of immigrants. By carefully targeting highly skilled professionals, we’ll cut down on the remittances while still ensuring vital workers fill shortages in our job market. We get more high-earning professionals who pay their taxes, and fewer of these Bigtopian push-cart operators sending their wages back home to fuel their corrupt government. It’s win-win!”

Author: Jim the Baptist
Editor: Verdant Haven

Not seeing any hidden options, unless their at the end. Received Yasmin Hyde/She, Cortana Pond, and Inder Wheeler.

[Rocain Founder]

This has been previously reported (do a search for #460 to find relevant posts), but since the spoilers haven't taken those posts into account, I'll report it again. My puppet Cain O-N At v1 has received issue #460 with options 1, 2 and 4. The text of option 4 is identical to the spoiled text for option 3. The search history relating to this issue makes me wonder whether anyone has ever reported the actual text for option 3 (which I cannot do since my puppet didn't get that option).

If one assumes that the text of option 3 is in fact identical to that of option 4 (as the spoiler seems to indicate), then there is no information there to help determine when a nation gets option 3 or option 4. Cain O-N At v1 has a long list of unpleasant Policies, but the only things I notice in the Policy list that seem possibly relevant are Socialism, and the absence of Vegetarianism.

For whatever it's worth, my puppet chose option 4, and the talking point was the same as indicated by Trotterdam's issue results website. If that site is correct in showing that option 3 has the same talking point (and if indeed 3 and 4 are doppelgangers), we may never figure out what the distinction is.

[Bears Armed]

NEW: #1'521

The Bells! The Bells!


The Issue
@@CAPITAL@@ media personality Augustus Kimmel recently bought a holiday cottage in the rustic village of Hambridge, but after actually spending his first weekend there, he is publicly complaining that the “din” of bell-ringing from the village’s famous belfry is spoiling the peace and quiet to which he feels legally entitled.

The Debate

1. “It’s simple, daahling,” intones Kimmel, turning on the charm that made him famous. “When I invested in that little refuge away from the hustle and bustle of the city, nothing was said about the scenic belfry being still in use, so why should I have to put up with that racket? Honestly, bells at 7:00 am on a Saturday? The nuisance laws need to be tightened up... and then maybe we can get a few other problems with the village fixed, too.”

2. “Tis proper preposterous,” argues villager Giles Bowyer, whose family has farmed near Hambridge for generations. “Us everyday farming folk have been ringing Changes on our bells here regular since time afore memory. Why should we have to stop now, just-a-cause some danged newcomer doesn’t like the sweet sound? Make a law that protects local traditions from these kind o’ people, or they’ll be after us to stop spreading muck on the fields nextly, rot my turnips if they isn’t!”
(Effect: families must live in a village for a century before they get any say in how it runs)

3. “The real problem here isn’t just a town-and-country clash of expectations,” your decidedly blue-collar Communities Minister Kristian Golden interjects angrily. “It’s a clash of rich versus poor! This whole business of wealthy people buying extra homes for themselves in places where working-class folks live just smacks of class warfare! You must forbid that, and make those rich pigs stay in their own neighborhoods. They have enough without taking what’s ours!”

Issue by The Free Bears of Bears Armed
Edited by Verdant Haven

[Rocain Founder]

Is this possibly issue #1520? #1512 is The Door's Unlocked, Let Yourself In..., or, at least, that's how it was spoiled.

[Trotterdam]

And for that matter, the effect line you gave just makes no sense. The option for ruling in favor the new resident who's only lived here for a week results in snubbing people who haven't lived there for a century?

I suppose there's no point to even asking about hidden options, which I'm pretty sure there's one of...

[Bears Armed]

Is this possibly issue #1520? #1512 is The Door's Unlocked, Let Yourself In..., or, at least, that's how it was spoiled.

Oops! Accidentally transposed two numbers: It's #1'521.

And for that matter, the effect line you gave just makes no sense. The option for ruling in favor the new resident who's only lived here for a week results in snubbing people who haven't lived there for a century?

I suppose there's no point to even asking about hidden options, which I'm pretty sure there's one of...

Oops! No, that' the Effect line for the second option, I somehow put it in the wrong place when making that post: Fixed, now.

No hidden options that I know of for sure, but the draft also included an option for higher-tech nations that I perhaps might not have been given...

EDIT: I can now confirm that Giles Bowyer is the only speaker with a fixed name.

[The Candy Of Bottles]

#1522 Scry Babies

The Issue

A home for abandoned children has invited you to attend the biggest birthday party in The Candy Of Bottles! 122 abandoned babies are turning one year old. After a craze for astrology swept the nation, many parents have been attempting to time their child’s birth so that it happens at the most auspicious moment. However, according to the same beliefs, children accidentally born on today’s date are considered extremely unfortunate, and as you arrive at the orphanage, cardboard boxes full of newborns are already surrounding the door.

The Debate

“This little one’s mommy wouldn’t have even had him if she knew he’d be born today,” coos Piers Longbottom, feeding a bottle of chocolate milk to a baby wearing a party hat. “Parents shouldn’t be allowed to toss out their tots just because their signs aren’t perfect. Those who try should be taught better — by force if you have to. I wouldn’t let the kids here believe something so silly and adults shouldn’t be allowed to either. As for what should happen to the astrologists that filled their minds with this rubbish... well, I can’t say it in front of the children.”

Accept

“I had to leave my own baby out on the street because her star sign just wouldn’t have been compatible with our dog’s,” confides your spiritual advisor Wendy Shatner, inspecting the aura of a toddler with a vaguely familiar face. “Anyway, according to her horoscope, she’s self-sufficient and thrives on independence, so I’m sure she’s fine. If I’d had more advice on planning, I’d have waited until Pluto was no longer in retrograde, and then I’d have been able to keep her. Parents aren’t going to stop believing, so we should subsidize astrological family planners. That way every baby will be perfect for its family.”

Accept

“No one ever came to my birthday parties when I was young,” mumbles a glum bureaucrat of yours. “People either forgot or ignored my invitations. Well, I think no one deserves to have a special birthday anymore. They’re such a hassle and a pain. Everyone should turn a year older on the same day, as is the custom in Dàguó. It’s efficient, inclusive, and rational. No person will ever feel sad or ignored on their birthday ever again. And children will no longer be abandoned due to bogus mumbo jumbo.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Red Plain of Sammuramat

Edited by The Marsupial Illuminati

Couldn’t get at the page source on my phone, so I just looked up the thread for the issue. No additional options unless the editors added a doppelgänger. I haven’t touched the names. And apparently this one has been sitting in the pile for a while- all the posts were made in 2017.

[Trotterdam]

"I had to leave my own baby out on the street because her star sign just wouldn't have been compatible with our dog's,"

"I'd have waited until Pluto was no longer in retrograde,"

...So is that the planet or the dog?

We already had Fido for the (dwarf) planet...

[Valentine Z]

Maybe the NSverse has a Fido right behind and away from Pluto.

[Rocain Founder]

No hidden options that I know of for sure, but the draft also included an option for higher-tech nations that I perhaps might not have been given...

My puppet Cain A R-C Cs v1 has received this issue. It got options 1, 2 and 4 (0, 1 and 3 in the HTML). The texts of these options all seemed identical to the ones shown in the original announcement post. So the text for option 3 (alias 2) is unknown at this time, as well as the conditions under which a nation receives it.

No doubt more will be revealed when more nations receive it and and bother to report what they have received.

[Rocain Founder]

My puppet Cain G HiT Rfj v0 has received an issue #603 with an extra option inserted between the spoiled option 1 and the spoiled option 2 (thereby changing the number of the spoiled options following option 1). It is a doppelganger of option 1 for nations which have banned alcohol. See this post. The new option 2 differs from option 1 in a single word, underlined in the text of the new option shown below.

“This is just... uurrggghh!” slurs @@RANDOM_NAME@@, author of The Demon-Wizards of D’haw’e’na’wor, holding an empty bottle of illegal scotch. “I work, nnhh, slave my whole life, put my soul into this... Only to be overshadowed by some, some half-brained teenager who... who... stole my ideas! We need copyright laws back to protect... uh... the dignity of authors!” Finishing his rant, he vomits into a nearby bucket.

[Rocain Founder]

Here is issue #1523, as received by puppet Cain M Ca0 v1. I have left proper name unchanged, but have changed names relating to the recipient nation to the appropriate macros. Inspection of the HTML revealed no hidden options (though of course there could be some after the apparent final option).

#1523 Don't Tread on My Money

The Issue

Aria Stromburg, one of @@NAME@@’s richest people, passed away last week after a brief illness. To the shock and dismay of her two children, it has emerged that she changed her will at the last minute, leaving her vast fortune almost entirely to the Order of Violet.

The Debate

1. “It’s utterly absurd to believe that she didn’t make provision for her kids,” exclaims Esher, one of Stromburg’s children. “Why would she put that so-called religion over us? Those Violetists descended on her when she was at her most vulnerable, and she probably didn’t even know what she was doing! Imagine the plight of poor children left with nothing but a few luxury cars and a yacht! @@LEADER@@, you must rule that the majority of a person’s estate goes to their family, so we can live in her mansion... I mean, live in dignity, like she always wanted.”

2. “Aria’s money was her own, and she chose of her own free will to give it to us,” counters senior Violetist Kim Herrelko with a smirk. “Our visit to her bedside was made entirely out of a desire to save her from eternal damnation. It was a deathbed conversion! The change of beneficiary forms we helped her sign are standard for all our true believers. Who are these heathen brats to demand a share? @@LEADER@@, you must ensure all wills are carried out to the letter!”

3. “You know, @@LEADER@@, I have the perfect solution,” muses your Minister for Finding Extra Cash, Piers Pasteur. “What if we just took charge of everyone’s estate when they died, and allocated it fairly as we see fit? Of course, we could exclude any undesirable heirs, and sometimes the fairest distribution might be to the poor needy coffers of our dear government. At the very least we’ll need to charge a fee for providing such a necessary and impartial service!”

Issue by The Democracy of Merni

Edited by Verdant Haven

[TalAkMaChen]

My latest findings of minor stuff:

1360.3: "should be proud if one of them passes" in italics
1482, all have random names (+his/her in opt 3)
1511, description: "Alright! magazine" in italics

[Australian rePublic]

Canbrra media personality Adele McGuffin recently bought a holiday cottage in the rustic village of Hambridge, but after actually spending her first weekend there, she is publicly complaining that the “din” of bell-ringing from the village’s famous belfry is spoiling the peace and quiet to which she feels legally entitled.

The Debate
“It’s simple, daahling,” intones McGuffin, turning on the charm that made her famous. “When I invested in that little refuge away from the hustle and bustle of the city, nothing was said about the scenic belfry being still in use, so why should I have to put up with that racket? Honestly, bells at 7:00 am on a Saturday? The nuisance laws need to be tightened up... and then maybe we can get a few other problems with the village fixed, too.”

Confirm Wait, no!

“Tis proper preposterous,” argues villager Giles Bowyer, whose family has farmed near Hambridge for generations. “Us everyday farming folk have been ringing Changes on our bells here regular since time afore memory. Why should we have to stop now, just-a-cause some danged newcomer doesn’t like the sweet sound? Make a law that protects local traditions from these kind o’ people, or they’ll be after us to stop spreading muck on the fields nextly, rot my turnips if they isn’t!”

“The real problem here isn’t just a town-and-country clash of expectations,” your decidedly blue-collar Communities Minister Judi Brooks interjects angrily. “It’s a clash of rich versus poor! This whole business of wealthy people buying extra homes for themselves in places where working-class folks live just smacks of class warfare! You must forbid that, and make those rich pigs stay in their own neighborhoods. They have enough without taking what’s ours!”

Issue by The Free Bears of Bears Armed

Edited by Verdant Haven

[Racoda]

#1520: @@LEADER@@’s Big Unicameral Bash [Untecna; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

A combination of absolute majority, unicameral government and an unexpected level of party unity has left you and your government in a position to pass new legislation with almost no opposition. A gathering of parliamentarians from minority parties has come to you, caps in hand, hoping you’ll loosen your grip on power.


1. “@@LEADER@@, we can no longer be silent about being silenced,” declares @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, the currently detoothed Leader of the Opposition. “Tyranny of the majority is not the same thing as functioning democracy, and even an elected leader can effectively become an autocrat. That won’t do! The Upper House provided checks and balances for situations like this, and it would be a great demonstration of your own humility and respect for democratic freedom if you could see your way to reinstating it. I mean, it’s not like we could make that change without your permission. That’s kind of the point, heh...”

2. “Actually, returning to a bicameral system is good, but maybe not enough,” adds @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, the leader of the much smaller @@PRETITLE_INITIALS@@@@NAME_INITIALS@@ Reform Party, while looking over to the Opposition Leader. “Parliamentary reform into a tricameral system would provide even more checks and balances, with a third elected house formed via proportional representation. Minority voices could be heard, and smaller parties better represented. Or maybe even a tetracameral system, with a People’s Committee of special interests as well. Or pentacameral with... look, what I’m saying is that more government means more democracy!”

3. “We did it, @@LEADER@@!” bellows your party’s rather rotund campaign manager, as @@HE_2@@ shoves past your political opponents. “Hahaha, all the power is finally, rightfully yours! Don’t stand here listening to these deadbeats. Now’s the time to consolidate power, not give it away. While we’ve got control of parliament, why don’t we make some moves that will guarantee the next election? We can redraw some constituency borders, allow more campaign funding for the incumbents at election time, limit speaking time in parliament proportional to share of the vote... I have dozens of laws we can pass to make life easier for us and there’s absolutely nothing those losers can do about it!”

Effects:
1: If the best leaders are those who don't want to lead then @@LEADER@@'s lack of leadership must be a great leadership quality.
2: You can please all of the people some of the time if you don't mind getting nothing done most of the time.
3: Most voters struggle to name the Leader of the Opposition.

[Jutsa]

Very nice.