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NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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User avatar
Kors
Envoy
 
Posts: 257
Founded: Dec 02, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Kors » Mon Oct 25, 2021 8:07 pm

Pogaria wrote:Yay, someone finally reported #1380!

Let's hope it won't take another year for someone to figure out what causes it... :p

Wait what?
Hello. I'm Kors. Welcome to my sig.It's a normal sig, a completely ordinary sig, an indifferent sig. You won't find anything different in this sig
So I might tell you a little bit about me.
I'm 15. I like to ignore low effort posts cause I can. I once overdosed on vitamin gummy bears. I'm a proud member of XKI and I'm also a proud f7er
news
Kors wins Eurovision by a mere 2 votes. Kors allows dog walkers free. Kors is kors. Kors is nearly 1% scientific advancement. Kors is a happy person. Kors does not like to give out snacks to conquered protectorates anymore, due to extended taxation cuts.

User avatar
SherpDaWerp
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1233
Founded: Mar 02, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby SherpDaWerp » Mon Oct 25, 2021 9:15 pm

Here's a thought - maybe there are other options in non-chain issues that can cause you to aggravate East Lebatuck?

User avatar
Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Tue Oct 26, 2021 5:07 am

Trotterdam wrote:
Rocain Founder wrote:If Bont did attempt to capture someone, in theory that might have raised tensions just a little bit more to where the socialist side got fed up.
More than simply shooting first and asking questions later?

Well, that was all just speculation on my part. But "dead men tell no tales". An attempted abduction would likely leave evidence as to the responsible party, especially if it was a failed attempt, while even a failed assassination might not leave any evidence beyond suspicion behind.

At any rate, it comes down to the thought processes of Pogaria and his comrades who put this puzzle together. Even if/when the mechanics of when #1380 is presented are brought to light, it might still remain unclear why the plot was designed that way.

User avatar
Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Tue Oct 26, 2021 5:41 am

SherpDaWerp wrote:Here's a thought - maybe there are other options in non-chain issues that can cause you to aggravate East Lebatuck?

Here's another off-the-wall idea. What if whether you get #1379 or #1380 is non-deterministic? After all, outside of a chain, what issue one gets next is quite non-deterministic. We know that, in a chain and a few other specialized situations, an issue option can determine what issue comes up next. Suppose it is possible for an issue option to impose a set of possible successors, one of which is chosen at random.

I don't think this explanation is likely, because, if so, how come it took so long for #1380 to show up? But I don't see how it can be ruled out (except by finding a deterministic way the decision is made, of course).

User avatar
Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Tue Oct 26, 2021 12:02 pm

SherpDaWerp wrote:Here's a thought - maybe there are other options in non-chain issues that can cause you to aggravate East Lebatuck?

I checked my puppet's previously answered issues to see if its Leader had ever humiliated the Premier of East Lebatuck in a chess match. Unfortunately not. That would have been a fairly plausible aggravation. :lol2:

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9559
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Tue Oct 26, 2021 10:08 pm

#1489 No Tern Left Unstoned

The Issue

Amongst bored youths — who seemingly have little else to do — an increasingly common pastime is stone-throwing. Teens and children have taken to lobbing pebbles at any available target, be it a glazed window, a passing seabird, or an innocently wandering politician. As you've had your hat knocked off for the third time this morning, it may be time to address the problem.

The Debate

1. "All those poor animals," mewls your Minister for the Environment, reverently laying onto the floor a dead seagull that was stoned to death five days ago, and which is starting to reek. "These children infest our streets like the maggots infesting the wings of this bird! We need to take decisive action: cops on the street, arresting any youth with a stone in hand."

2. "This is a social disease," counters your Welfare Minister, spraying the rotting carcass with a disinfectant. "The problem here is a lack of empathy, and the best way to solve that is with education outreach programs designed to teach youngsters about consequences and taking personal social responsibility." He nudges the dead bird out of your office door for someone else to clean up.

3. "Look, a little youthful high spirits never hurt anybody," consoles your Minister of Political Dismissiveness, as a stone sails in through your open window and hits the Welfare Minister directly on the nose. "As far as I'm concerned this is great for the glaziery industry, great for seaside pest control, and great for spirited political commentary. Let's just get some hard hats and a handful of stones, and return fire at the little tykes in a good-natured way. Fun and games for everyone."

4. "Actually, this is a great opportunity," notes your Minister of Defence. "Imagine all that hand-eye coordination put to use throwing knives or lobbing grenades. We should be encouraging this hobby with national stone-throwing leagues, and keeping recruiters on hand to convince the winners to sign up for military careers."

Issue by Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Sedgistan

User avatar
Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Wed Oct 27, 2021 2:45 pm

My puppet Cain BZ R08Au v0 has received issue #179 with the choice of options 1, 3, 4 and 5. The spoilers only show 4 options, but Trotterdam's website shows 5 options, with option 3 unknown, suggesting that the fact that there are 5 options is well-known, but somehow never made it into the spoilers.

At any rate, option 3 is a clone of option 2, as follows (difference from spoiled option 2 underlined):

“We’ve got to look at this in the long term,” says Thupten Fils-Aimé, a rustic farmer. “How will we farmers survive when we’ve got nothin’ to sell? I’d suggest puttin’ more tax @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ into the whatjamacallit... medical research thingy so we can finds a cure, ‘cos if we don’t it’ll just come around again and we’ll all be in the same sticky mess. In the meanwhile, we should just hold the fort if you know what I mean. Smuggle some @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ from abroad, no-one need know!”

Replacement of 'Import" with "Smuggle" suggests the difference between the two options is the absence or presence of Autarky. (I've confirmed that the puppet which got the issue has this policy.)

The new option 3 should of course be inserted in the spoilers after option 2, and the following options should be renumbered.

User avatar
Upper Michigania
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jan 25, 2019
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Upper Michigania » Mon Nov 01, 2021 8:46 am

Divine Cervine wrote:Issue #1488: First, Do No Harm [United Indian Nations; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

First, Do No Harm

The Issue


A recent army operation to secure a contested landing zone for medical evacuation of injured infantrymen saw military doctors and nurses being ordered to open fire on enemy soldiers, in order to clear a path to the helicopters. This has triggered a debate on the ethics of firearm use for battlefield medical personnel.

The Debate

1. “Our corpsmen have sidearms because they are soldiers, and soldiers kill people!” bellows your Rear-Echelon Marshall Fokker, pointing his index finger at a nervous aide and making ‘pew-pew’ noises. “This is war! Do you expect our doctors and nurses to stand by when there’s fighting to be done? No! A medic is just a soldier with additional skills. They must use their sidearms to kill the enemy at every opportunity. Hell, let’s give them flamethrowers!”


2. “I object, that goes against everything I believe in and everything I trained for,” argues military Staff Nurse Lieutenant Flora Slaava, dramatically standing on a chair. “Our job is to heal, not to kill! To sustain life for as long as humanly possible, not take it! In fact, we have an ethical duty to treat wounded enemy soldiers. Carrying a gun diminishes our status as non-combatants, and we should neither be expected or allowed to carry firearms.”


3. “I think I disagree partially with my colleague here,” states army gastroenterology consultant Major Pyles. “Some situations do warrant the use of firearms. You have to protect your patient with your life, your patient whose life is in your hands. Should we let him be taken prisoner or let the enemy deal him a deathblow? Of course not! That would be doing him harm! That, in my opinion, goes against the very oath we swore to hold sacred. We do need sidearms, but to defend ourselves and our patients. However, we should never participate in offensive actions.”


Issue by United Indian Nations
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive



It is possible that the names may not be random.

Can confirm, none of these names are random.

-Eshialand

User avatar
Minskiev
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1818
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:13 pm

Issue #1490 @@LEADER@@ Wins Massive Victory! [Cretox State; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
Following a particularly brutal election season, your party narrowly held onto power with you as its undisputed leader. Your closest advisors have met to congratulate you on the close victory... and to ensure that such a thing never happens again.

The Debate
1. “I hate the voters so much,” snarls Marina Jele, your campaign’s public relations director. “That election had no right to be as close as it was. I heard a rumor that opposition activists were undermining the integrity of the election and casting fraudulent ballots. We’ll have to start a comprehensive investigation of the election that just so happens to reveal dirt about the opposition, and pass draconian election security laws that coincidentally restrict our opponents’ access to the polls. Wink wink.”

2. “Who needs voters when you have the military’s support?” asks Supreme Generalissimo Simba Quinn, clapping you on the back and nearly causing you to choke on your lunch. “I say we declare martial law and start rounding up our political opponents. Oh sure, we can still have elections. They’ll be useful for rooting out dissent among the populace. But you’ll be the unquestioned power in @@NAME@@.”

3. “Now, I’m all for subverting the democratic process,” says Aristotle Wonka, a rising star in your government, as several advisors nod along in approval. “But these ideas all run the risk of backfiring. Not to mention the fact that they’d take resources away from actually implementing our agenda. We should focus on doing work that undeniably benefits people, like my public transportation overhaul. If we do a good job in the eyes of the voters, we won’t need to worry about staying in power.”

4. Suddenly, you hear a loud sigh from your Director of Election Directing, who pitched the idea of this meeting in the first place. “If we’re seriously considering keeping ourselves in power with underhanded laws or military force, I say we just abolish public elections altogether. We’ll restrict voting to an elite inner circle that’ll deliberate on your appointments and decisions — hey, we still need to have some checks — and it’ll help placate the people.”
Last edited by Minskiev on Mon Nov 01, 2021 5:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.
2x Officer of the Rejected Realms
Former Speaker of the Rejected Realms
Deputy Editor-in-Chief of the Rejected Times
Author of GA#565, GA#581, and SC#362


WA Ambassador: Wallace Russell
My views DO represent my regions in ALL capacities!

User avatar
Eshialand
Diplomat
 
Posts: 700
Founded: Apr 03, 2017
Anarchy

Postby Eshialand » Tue Nov 02, 2021 10:00 am

Minskiev wrote:
Issue #1490 @@LEADER@@ Wins Massive Victory! [Cretox State; ed: Pogaria]

The Issue
Following a particularly brutal election season, your party narrowly held onto power with you as its undisputed leader. Your closest advisors have met to congratulate you on the close victory... and to ensure that such a thing never happens again.

The Debate
1. “I hate the voters so much,” snarls Marina Jele, your campaign’s public relations director. “That election had no right to be as close as it was. I heard a rumor that opposition activists were undermining the integrity of the election and casting fraudulent ballots. We’ll have to start a comprehensive investigation of the election that just so happens to reveal dirt about the opposition, and pass draconian election security laws that coincidentally restrict our opponents’ access to the polls. Wink wink.”

2. “Who needs voters when you have the military’s support?” asks Supreme Generalissimo Simba Quinn, clapping you on the back and nearly causing you to choke on your lunch. “I say we declare martial law and start rounding up our political opponents. Oh sure, we can still have elections. They’ll be useful for rooting out dissent among the populace. But you’ll be the unquestioned power in @@NAME@@.”

3. “Now, I’m all for subverting the democratic process,” says Aristotle Wonka, a rising star in your government, as several advisors nod along in approval. “But these ideas all run the risk of backfiring. Not to mention the fact that they’d take resources away from actually implementing our agenda. We should focus on doing work that undeniably benefits people, like my public transportation overhaul. If we do a good job in the eyes of the voters, we won’t need to worry about staying in power.”

4. Suddenly, you hear a loud sigh from your Director of Election Directing, who pitched the idea of this meeting in the first place. “If we’re seriously considering keeping ourselves in power with underhanded laws or military force, I say we just abolish public elections altogether. We’ll restrict voting to an elite inner circle that’ll deliberate on your appointments and decisions — hey, we still need to have some checks — and it’ll help placate the people.”

Can confirm that all of the names in red are random.
Warden of The Order of the Grey Wardens since February 10th, 2021.
I allegedly did well in these tournaments:
1st: Baptism of Fire 75, World Junior Hockey Championship 17
2nd: World Cup of Masters 4, Elephant Chess Cup 2
3rd: Elephant Chess Cup 1
4th:
Quarterfinalist: Jenna Raven Cup 1, Quidditch World Cup 11, 5th International Cup of 7ball, International Baseball Slam 15
...I'll always be your friend!

User avatar
Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:14 am

My puppet Rocain Reaper has turned up option 2 of issue #1206. It is not a doppelganger of any other option. I can't tell whether it might be optional (other than by guessing that it might be because it is unspoiled), and I don't have an immediate clue what might cause it to be suppressed when the issue is asked. Conceivably, it might be present due to a very poor economy (Rocain Reaper's is "Weak"), but I'm just guessing. Here is the text of option 2 as received by my puppet:

“There is a hole in your plan,” coughs your Minister of Sanitation, holding a shovel. “Riverside residents defecate and dump their waste in the river because they have no toilets! Those luxuries aren’t accessible to these poor, rural people. Therefore, the government must subsidize the building and maintenance of pit latrines in riverside areas. Start digging!”


Here are Rocain Reaper's policies, in case something obvious is on the list.

Autocracy
Cannabis
Capital Punishment
Child Self-Rearing
Conscription
Corporal Punishment
Feudalism
Gun Control
ID Chips
No Automobiles
No Emigration
No Judiciary
No Prison
No Sports
Parental Licensing
Socialism
Space Program
Weapons of Mass Destruction

Conceivably Feudalism might be relevant.

The talking point for the option is "the government is digging a hole for itself".
Last edited by Rocain Founder on Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Republic of La Boca
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 433
Founded: Aug 13, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Republic of La Boca » Tue Nov 09, 2021 12:33 pm

Hello everybody, I have a question (please send me a telegram with the answer) I'm trying to answer issue 523 "A family affair" but what is the correct answer to avoid my agricultural sector to drop drastically? thank you

User avatar
TalAkMaChen
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 417
Founded: Sep 04, 2006
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby TalAkMaChen » Fri Nov 12, 2021 4:51 pm

Minor update: 1487,1 is confirmed to be a random name. :)

User avatar
Dexterra
Envoy
 
Posts: 223
Founded: May 05, 2021
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Dexterra » Sat Nov 13, 2021 8:36 am

Issue #1491: Press Gang

The Issue

Your Minister of the Interior recently held an invitation-only press conference: a three-hour parade of lowball questions such as "What's your favorite thing about interior design?" and "What color paint do you recommend for my son's bedroom?" Many of the media outlets that were not invited to the event are less than impressed.

The Debate
1. "This was the most blatant display of corruption I've ever seen!" screams the @@LEADER@@ Sucks reporter Sterling Cox, slipping your security guard a bribe to get into your office. "The media's job is to hold the government accountable, not to cozy up to them for favors! Any reporter who wants access to an official event should get it, and officials should be forced to take questions from everyone in the room!"

2. "The event was invitation-only due to limited seating and my very busy schedule," asserts your Minister of the Interior, taking a break from casually chatting with the chief editor of the @@LEADER@@ Times. "Who gets to attend press conferences and the like should be up to our discretion, since it's our decision to hold them in the first place. Maybe we could discuss this further over a drink?"

3. "You'd solve all these problems if you'd just put a little faith in technology," assures junior IT staffer Augustus Kiefaber, whose historic solution to every IT problem has been 'try turning it off and on again.' "You should set up a pre-moderated public online text feed for each government official, where only a cherry-picked selection of carefully edited questions get posted. It'll make these press conferences a thing of the past, and make sure we always have time to prepare our answers."

Authored by Cretox State, ed. Candlewhisper Archive


Names in red appear to be random
Last edited by Dexterra on Sat Nov 13, 2021 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Main

The United Peoples of Dexterra

The United Commonwealth of Kelleran

The Cultural Democracy of Schrack


Experiments in Rare NS Classifications

Benevolent Dictatorship: the Public Crown of Loysville

Mother Knows Best State: the United Queendom of New Westfields

Tyranny by Majority: the Citizen's District of Petworth


Parodies of Extremes - enter at own risk!

Anarchy: the Stateless Sovereignty of Entropyistan

Psychotic Dictatorship: the Murder-Suicide Cult of Hellscapia


Named After a Special Place

The Historic Union of Burkitts

29 November 2021: it is a lovely day today

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9559
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sat Nov 13, 2021 10:44 am

Uh, right, I can confirm that the names are random:
#1491 Press Gang

The Issue

Your Minister of the Interior recently held an invitation-only press conference: a three-hour parade of lowball questions such as "What's your favorite thing about interior design?" and "What color paint do you recommend for my son's bedroom?" Many of the media outlets that were not invited to the event are less than impressed.

The Debate

1. "This was the most blatant display of corruption I've ever seen!" screams @@LEADER@@ Sucks reporter Kalden Wolowitz, slipping your security guard a bribe to get into your office. "The media's job is to hold the government accountable, not to cozy up to them for favors! Any reporter who wants access to an official event should get it, and officials should be forced to take questions from everyone in the room!"

2. "The event was invitation-only due to limited seating and my very busy schedule," asserts your Minister of the Interior, taking a break from casually chatting with the chief editor of The @@LEADER@@ Times. "Who gets to attend press conferences and the like should be up to our discretion, since it's our decision to hold them in the first place. Maybe we could discuss this further over a drink?"

3. "You'd solve all these problems if you'd just put a little faith in technology," assures junior IT staffer Otohime Duras, whose historic solution to every IT problem has been 'try turning it off and on again'. "You should set up a pre-moderated public online text feed for each government official, where only a cherry-picked selection of carefully edited questions get posted. It'll make these press conferences a thing of the past, and make sure we always have time to prepare our answers."

Issue by Cretox State
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
I was going to post this before but my internet was lagging.

User avatar
The Candy Of Bottles
Diplomat
 
Posts: 614
Founded: Jan 01, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Candy Of Bottles » Sat Nov 13, 2021 3:26 pm

1492- Smoke on the Water

The Issue
Through careful water sample analyses and rigorous modelling, experts have detected a shockingly large quantity of recreational drugs in the river near the site of the recent Steelstock heavy metal rock festival. These substances are thought to have come from the urine of festival-goers who peed in the fields rather than in proper toilets. This has caused significant harm to local wildlife, including the deaths of several critically endangered rare eels.

The Debate
0.) “This is outrageous!” screams ecologist Beyonce Krugman, slamming a jar of yellow-tinted river water in which a tiny eel is looking surprisingly chilled out. “Not only did these weirdly-adorned freaks ruin the grass with their mishing or mushing or whatever you call it, now they’ve ruined the water with their urinary doping! You don’t see this sort of thing at classical music or opera festivals, you know! We must ban public performances of degenerate youth music, for the sake of the little fishies!”

Accept

1.) “Ban Metal? I can give you six hundred and sixty-six reasons not to!” exclaims rock singer Tori Kayla, who is wearing a boiler suit and a leatherface mask for reasons unknown. “The issue isn’t the music, nor the fans. It’s the damned drug dealers, pushing their products in the festival. I’ve battled addictions myself, almost died from them. You gotta ban drugs at music festivals. Put money into police to help keep drugs out of the festivals, with gate searches, random checks, and the rest.”

Accept

2.) “Look, have you ever tried listening to Stoned Sour or Slapnut WITHOUT taking drugs?” asks mildly intoxicated music fan Giuseppe Rose, waving around a bong that seems to be filling the room with an unusual floral odour. “The problem is that we need somewhere to go, and festival toilets... well, they stink! Force festivals to provide proper, adequate and clean facilities, then nobody will pee on the ground. Like this.” He turns to the corner of your room and demonstrates.

Accept

3.) “If I may make a suggestion?” sings the eel from the jar of water, as it floats into the air on a cloud of rainbows. “We fishes were the real victims here. My spawn have been muttering non-stop about amphibious bears coming to get them for the last week! What we need now is something to eat. Could you order a few thousand pizzas and dump them in the river, for me and my buds? Oh, and you should probably open a window in here. I think somebody might have started hallucinating.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Gatekeeper of Abacathea

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive


Likely some Random Names in there, but no nation-dependent macros at any rate.
Nation May also be called Ebsas Shomad.
WA Delegate: Tislam Timnärstëlmith (Tislam Taperedtresses)
Operates on EST/EDT
1.) Ignore them, they want attention. Giving it to them will only encourage them.
2.) Keep a backup region or two handy, with a password in place, in case you are raided. You can move there if needed.

User avatar
Valentine Z
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11060
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Valentine Z » Sat Nov 13, 2021 8:11 pm

I'll get around to making another changelog and adding/editing stuff soon, so yeah, thanks for all the valuable input and reporting! ❤️

(Guess who had to be in office on Sunday for software/server upgrade).


Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

The Sixty! Opinions Deposit! Valentian Stories! Gwen's Adventures! Cat Anthem! Valentian News.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! | F7 Etiquette

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 14
Valentijn Misgendered: 59
Valentijn now a She!

• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• As a wise man once said: 我等は砲兵 皇国の護り (We are Artillery Guardians of the Empire).
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

User avatar
Kors
Envoy
 
Posts: 257
Founded: Dec 02, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Kors » Sat Nov 13, 2021 10:00 pm

Valentine Z wrote:I'll get around to making another changelog and adding/editing stuff soon, so yeah, thanks for all the valuable input and reporting! ❤️

(Guess who had to be in office on Sunday for software/server upgrade).

Did you catch the guy who got 1380?
Hello. I'm Kors. Welcome to my sig.It's a normal sig, a completely ordinary sig, an indifferent sig. You won't find anything different in this sig
So I might tell you a little bit about me.
I'm 15. I like to ignore low effort posts cause I can. I once overdosed on vitamin gummy bears. I'm a proud member of XKI and I'm also a proud f7er
news
Kors wins Eurovision by a mere 2 votes. Kors allows dog walkers free. Kors is kors. Kors is nearly 1% scientific advancement. Kors is a happy person. Kors does not like to give out snacks to conquered protectorates anymore, due to extended taxation cuts.

User avatar
Valentine Z
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11060
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Valentine Z » Sat Nov 13, 2021 10:54 pm

Kors wrote:
Valentine Z wrote:I'll get around to making another changelog and adding/editing stuff soon, so yeah, thanks for all the valuable input and reporting! ❤️

(Guess who had to be in office on Sunday for software/server upgrade).

Did you catch the guy who got 1380?

Yeaup, it was on the previous page. I will read every posts carefully and do my edits as I go on.


Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

The Sixty! Opinions Deposit! Valentian Stories! Gwen's Adventures! Cat Anthem! Valentian News.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! | F7 Etiquette

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 14
Valentijn Misgendered: 59
Valentijn now a She!

• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• As a wise man once said: 我等は砲兵 皇国の護り (We are Artillery Guardians of the Empire).
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

User avatar
Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9559
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Nov 14, 2021 1:47 am

Tori Kayla is nonrandom. Everyone else is random.
#1492 Smoke on the Water

The Issue

Through careful water sample analyses and rigorous modelling, experts have detected a shockingly large quantity of recreational drugs in the river near the site of the recent Steelstock heavy metal rock festival. These substances are thought to have come from the urine of festival-goers who peed in the fields rather than in proper toilets. This has caused significant harm to local wildlife, including the deaths of several critically endangered rare eels.

The Debate

1. "This is outrageous!" screams ecologist @@RANDOMNAME@@, slamming a jar of yellow-tinted river water in which a tiny eel is looking surprisingly chilled out. "Not only did these weirdly-adorned freaks ruin the grass with their mishing or mushing or whatever you call it, now they've ruined the water with their urinary doping! You don't see this sort of thing at classical music or opera festivals, you know! We must ban public performances of degenerate youth music, for the sake of the little fishies!"

2. "Ban Metal? I can give you six hundred and sixty-six reasons not to!" exclaims rock singer Tori Kayla, who is wearing a boiler suit and a leatherface mask for reasons unknown. "The issue isn't the music, nor the fans. It's the damned drug dealers, pushing their products in the festival. I've battled addictions myself, almost died from them. You gotta ban drugs at music festivals. Put money into police to help keep drugs out of the festivals, with gate searches, random checks, and the rest."

3. "Look, have you ever tried listening to Stoned Sour or Slapnut WITHOUT taking drugs?" asks mildly intoxicated music fan @@RANDOMNAME@@, waving around a bong that seems to be filling the room with an unusual floral odour. "The problem is that we need somewhere to go, and festival toilets... well, they stink! Force festivals to provide proper, adequate and clean facilities, then nobody will pee on the ground. Like this." @@HE/SHE@@ turns to the corner of your room and demonstrates.

4. "If I may make a suggestion?" sings the eel from the jar of water, as it floats into the air on a cloud of rainbows. "We fishes were the real victims here. My spawn have been muttering non-stop about amphibious bears coming to get them for the last week! What we need now is something to eat. Could you order a few thousand pizzas and dump them in the river, for me and my buds? Oh, and you should probably open a window in here. I think somebody might have started hallucinating."

Issue by Abacathea
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Last edited by Trotterdam on Sun Nov 14, 2021 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Valentine Z
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11060
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Valentine Z » Sun Nov 14, 2021 2:11 am

Oh hey, nice! I just got that too, ahahah.

For 1, I got Angus Quinn. 3 is Elsa Wu.

2 is fixed!


Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

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Bears Armed
GA Secretariat
 
Posts: 20492
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Wed Nov 17, 2021 4:13 pm

NO. 1'493

Bully Beef



The Issue
Video footage has leaked from a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ livestock carrier bound for Tasmania, depicting distressed cattle suffering from extreme heat in overcrowded and unsanitary conditions. Pressure is now mounting from all corners to reform the live animal export industry.

The Debate
1. “I just got off the phone with Maxtopia,” grumbles your Minister for Foreign Affairs. “Actually, it’s the eighth call I’ve taken this morning. The world officially thinks we’re a bunch of sadistic, inhumane tormentors. It’s about time we beefed up our live export standards, with better conditions for animals, limits on the amount of livestock per boat and tough penalties for non-compliance. Unless you want to get grilled by the international community, we need to respond decisively here — our reputation is at stake!”

2. “Ahoy!” cheerfully bellows deckhand Waylon Serling, tearing at a delectable strip of jerky. “No need t’ worry matey — the cows on me boat are as cool and calm as the high seas! And haven’t ya heard? Cows are like penguins — they love huddlin’ up for warmth. Besides, ev’rybody knows that meat is more tender if the cows don’ move around. If anythin’, ya should be lettin’ us stack ‘em three high!”

3. “There’s a financial consideration to this too, you know,” interjects bespectacled customs official Chiri Bakker, barely glancing up from counting crates of borlottis. “We could do away with the whole distraction of ethical questions if we prohibited export of livestock. Instead, a focus on processing the goods domestically would provide a real opportunity to add value to the product. It’d require investment in infrastructure, but with a little seed funding, we could make a real killing.”


Issue by The Caspian Commonwealth of Dabarastan and The Benevolent Church of Jim the Baptist

I don't know whether either of the names is fixed.
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
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Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Thu Nov 18, 2021 2:08 pm

This post and several following reported that option 4 of issue #279 had the same text as the spoiled option 3. Puppet Cain A P-R Rd v1 has now received this issue with option 3 rather than option 4. The text of option 3, so far as I can tell, is also identical to the spoiled text of option 3. The previous posts indicated that the text of option 4 was also identical to the spoiled option 3. Since one must assume that option variants like this exist for some reason, then option 3 and option 4 must differ in their effects (or possibly in their talking points). As to what determines whether a particular nation gets option 3 or option 4, I have no theories at all. But here are the policies of Cain A P-R Rd v1. They can be compared with the policies of the puppet from the previous report (which received option 4), but I admit that the comparison did not trigger any theories for me. Perhaps someone else will be more insightful.

The puppet which got this issue chose to dismiss it, so I have no info on whether the talking point for option 3 might differ from that for option 4.

Cannabis
Gun Control
No Automobiles
No Computers
No Marriage
No Prison
Public Protest
Socialism
Sortition
Space Program
Vat-Produced Infants

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Eshialand
Diplomat
 
Posts: 700
Founded: Apr 03, 2017
Anarchy

Postby Eshialand » Thu Nov 18, 2021 7:13 pm

Bears Armed wrote:
NO. 1'493

Bully Beef



The Issue
Video footage has leaked from a @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ livestock carrier bound for Tasmania, depicting distressed cattle suffering from extreme heat in overcrowded and unsanitary conditions. Pressure is now mounting from all corners to reform the live animal export industry.

The Debate
1. “I just got off the phone with Maxtopia,” grumbles your Minister for Foreign Affairs. “Actually, it’s the eighth call I’ve taken this morning. The world officially thinks we’re a bunch of sadistic, inhumane tormentors. It’s about time we beefed up our live export standards, with better conditions for animals, limits on the amount of livestock per boat and tough penalties for non-compliance. Unless you want to get grilled by the international community, we need to respond decisively here — our reputation is at stake!”

2. “Ahoy!” cheerfully bellows deckhand Waylon Serling, tearing at a delectable strip of jerky. “No need t’ worry matey — the cows on me boat are as cool and calm as the high seas! And haven’t ya heard? Cows are like penguins — they love huddlin’ up for warmth. Besides, ev’rybody knows that meat is more tender if the cows don’ move around. If anythin’, ya should be lettin’ us stack ‘em three high!”

3. “There’s a financial consideration to this too, you know,” interjects bespectacled customs official Chiri Bakker, barely glancing up from counting crates of borlottis. “We could do away with the whole distraction of ethical questions if we prohibited export of livestock. Instead, a focus on processing the goods domestically would provide a real opportunity to add value to the product. It’d require investment in infrastructure, but with a little seed funding, we could make a real killing.”


Issue by The Caspian Commonwealth of Dabarastan and The Benevolent Church of Jim the Baptist

I don't know whether either of the names is fixed.

They're random: I got Elena Organa and Johann vanStraaten.
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Rocain Founder
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 113
Founded: Aug 01, 2020
Father Knows Best State

Postby Rocain Founder » Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:56 pm

A month ago, I made this post re issue #1406. I suggested that options 1 and 2 are alternatives, and that option 1 is for nations without Capital Punishment, and option 2 for nations with Capital Punishment. This theory has now been disproven. My puppet Cain A C-S Sc v1 just received this issue with option 2 but not option 1, despite not having Capital Punishment. This is in accordance with Trotterdam's opinion, stated right after the post cited above, that Capital Punishment has nothing to do with which option is presented to the user. It sure looks like, once again, he is right.

I also note that, according to Trotterdam's web site, option 2 never adds the Capital Punishment policy, which I find rather mysterious. Maybe the fact that this option proposes an extra-judicial killing means that it is not considered to introduce Capital Punishment.

I now have no theory about what distinguishes option 1 from option 2 for this issue. Here is the list of Policies for Cain A C-S Sc v1, in case this list will help someone with more insight than myself to determine what distinguishes these options:

Climate Treaty
Gun Control
Maternity Leave
No Aircraft
No Automobiles
No Contraception
No Drugs
No Gambling
No Internet
No Smoking
No Sports
Nudism
Parental Licensing
Pledge of Allegiance
Prohibition
Socialism
State Press

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