NationStates

Issue #1444: Trouble in Deed

The Issue
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of Scott City, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the painfully grinning woman whose baby you’re kissing, the properties are still owned by Darmeni expats who emigrated to various other countries, often decades ago.

The Debate
1. “Are these decrepit buildings a blight on the place? You betcha!” remarks the ever-smiling woman, who happens to be a City Councilor, wrestling your Minister of Public Relations over the baby. “It’s not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across Darmen are dealing with this plague, and it’s getting in the way of the plans for our new megamall, dontcha know. Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize buildings that aren’t being used, so that they can be auctioned or demolished. Now can I have my baby back? I’ve got a hotdish in the oven.”

2. “You can’t do that!” screeches your rarely seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house. “Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn’t being used, especially if that property is owned by expats who might have dual citizenship! Do you want an international incident on our hands? The government needs to do things by the book, and not stir up any trouble. Instead, let’s try to contact every person that owns unused property here, and ask if they’d be willing to sell.”

3. “What happens in Darmen stays in Darmen!” declares vagrant Gertie du Pont, loading a bulging stack of boxes into a shopping cart. “As far as anyone’s concerned, the people owning these properties have ceased to exist. Us local folk could really use them houses for living, social gatherings, and steali- er, borrowing anything not nailed down. If the owners come back, you can just give the land back to them. What’ve you got to lose?”

Issue by The Lucky Endo Time of Cretox State
Edited by Pogaria

Darmen wrote:

Issue #1444: Trouble in Deed

The Issue
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of Scott City, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the painfully grinning woman whose baby you’re kissing, the properties are still owned by Darmeni expats who emigrated to various other countries, often decades ago.

The Debate
1. “Are these decrepit buildings a blight on the place? You betcha!” remarks the ever-smiling woman, who happens to be a City Councilor, wrestling your Minister of Public Relations over the baby. “It’s not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across Darmen are dealing with this plague, and it’s getting in the way of the plans for our new megamall, dontcha know. Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize buildings that aren’t being used, so that they can be auctioned or demolished. Now can I have my baby back? I’ve got a hotdish in the oven.”

2. “You can’t do that!” screeches your rarely seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house. “Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn’t being used, especially if that property is owned by expats who might have dual citizenship! Do you want an international incident on our hands? The government needs to do things by the book, and not stir up any trouble. Instead, let’s try to contact every person that owns unused property here, and ask if they’d be willing to sell.”

3. “What happens in Darmen stays in Darmen!” declares vagrant Gertie du Pont, loading a bulging stack of boxes into a shopping cart. “As far as anyone’s concerned, the people owning these properties have ceased to exist. Us local folk could really use them houses for living, social gatherings, and steali- er, borrowing anything not nailed down. If the owners come back, you can just give the land back to them. What’ve you got to lose?”

Issue by The Lucky Endo Time of Cretox State
Edited by Pogaria

Serica- wrote:I got Gretel Neumann for option 3.

Rocain Founder wrote:Issue #1442 has 4 options, not 3. My puppet Cain A C-G Gn v0 received this issue, and was offered options 1, 2 and 4. The text for option 4 was the same as the text given in the recent post disclosing this issue for option 3. Of course, I have no information on the actual option 3, which might be unique, or a near duplicate of option 2 or 4, as far as I know.

#1442 A Green Bill of Health

The Issue

An outbreak of huanglongbing, a disease that causes citrus fruit to turn green and die, nearly wiped out all of @@NAME@@'s orange crop before it was contained. Investigators have determined that the outbreak originated from contaminated fruit brought by overseas travelers.

The Debate

1. "We're at code blood orange here," reports Minister of Agriculture @@RANDOMNAME@@ from the ministry's 'citruation room'. "Our nation's delicate ecosystem is constantly under threat from foreign diseases that can seriously harm our flora and fauna. Strict regulations must dictate which food products are allowed into @@NAME@@. If someone refuses to let customs officers confiscate prohibited items, they'll have to make like a banana and split right back to where they came from."

3. "A strategy like that sounds sensible, but our agriculture would still be susceptible to rot from within," counters geneticist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who recently grew flies with eyes on their wings. "It takes only one breach for there to be another outbreak. The government should sponsor a large-scale gene editing program so that the next generation of crops won't even blink at exotic diseases. While we're at it, we can improve them in other ways as well. You know, I've always wanted to eat glow-in-the-dark cherries."

4. "Woah... dude, aren't plants supposed to be green?" asks hippy herbalist @@RANDOMNAME@@, who imports the Sedji berry 'superfood'. "Let's encourage our plants and animals to build their natural immunity by exposing them to these diseases from abroad — just like a pox party. After all, it's worked just fine in nature for millions of years and stuff."

Issue by Candensia
Edited by Electrum

#1446: Yet Another Issue About Periods

The Issue

Your niece has been berating your Secretary of State on her Twitcher account, accusing him of making her feel uneasy by his use of full stops in his text messages. She claims they indicate that the sender is annoyed at the recipient and that the full stop should no longer be considered as proper usage. Once a quiet chat has been had with the 55-year-old about why he’s texting your 16-year-old niece in the first place, a conversation begins about your niece’s ideas.

The Debate

1. Your niece DMs you, despite the fact that she’s only just across the room: smh, your messages are all so Formal And Proper... were basically having a conversation rn, so you should write like youre actually speaking out loud – add some *emphasis* and cut out those full stops, i mean, have you heard anyone speak every sentence with a flat inflection? while your at it, you should fr make everyone over 30 attend texting literacy class, yall gotta learn somehow

2. “I’ve never heard such nonsense,” proclaims Professor Phileas Ogaria, the nation’s foremost authority on punctuation. “Proper pedagogical procedures necessitate principles of punctuation, and every youth should be carefully considering how to conform correctly. If children cannot accurately use a semicolon by the time they leave kindergarten, then there’s no hope for them.”

3. “Ancient Maxtopia had a way around this problem,” states archaeologist Cindy Hanover, as she chisels away at your desk. “They used hieroglyphs to communicate the written word, and didn’t punctuate at all. Imagine if we adopted a similar pictorial script that portrays modern @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ life; there’d be no more arguments over whether the writing needs a semicolon or a colon, and the younger @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ will feel a lot less threatened.”

Issue by The Imperial Glorious Empire of Baggieland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

Tien Nemh wrote:Another issue. Seems too similar to that one about punctuation.

SherpDaWerp wrote:

Tien Nemh wrote:Another issue. Seems too similar to that one about punctuation.

The word "punctuation" only appears twice; both in #721.4. If there's another issue about punctuation, do you know the number? Knowing would be helpful in refining how I search.

Tien Nemh wrote:

SherpDaWerp wrote:The word "punctuation" only appears twice; both in #721.4. If there's another issue about punctuation, do you know the number? Knowing would be helpful in refining how I search.

That issue was the one I meant, sorry about that.

Alanis Star wrote:For 1445, of note that I got Molly Rose for Option 1, Vladimir Clarissa for Option 2, Bob Fields for Option 3.

I wonder if Vladimir Clarissa is just a huge coincidence, or that it is using the first word of my leader's field "Clarissa Alanis S Coraline Taissa Harumi".

The Issue
Your niece has been berating your Secretary of State on her Twitcher account, accusing him of making her feel uneasy by his use of full stops in his text messages. She claims they indicate that the sender is annoyed at the recipient and that the full stop should no longer be considered as proper usage. Once a quiet chat has been had with the 55-year-old about why he’s texting your 16-year-old niece in the first place, a conversation begins about your niece’s ideas.

The Debate
1. Your niece DMs you, despite the fact that she’s only just across the room: smh, your messages are all so Formal And Proper... were basically having a conversation rn, so you should write like youre actually speaking out loud – add some *emphasis* and cut out those full stops, i mean, have you heard anyone speak every sentence with a flat inflection? while your at it, you should fr make everyone over 30 attend texting literacy class, yall gotta learn somehow


2. “I’ve never heard such nonsense,” proclaims Professor Phileas Ogaria, the nation’s foremost authority on punctuation. “Proper pedagogical procedures necessitate principles of punctuation, and every youth should be carefully considering how to conform correctly. If children cannot accurately use a semicolon by the time they leave kindergarten, then there’s no hope for them.”

3. “Ancient Maxtopia had a way around this problem,” states archaeologist Ed Cox, as he chisels away at your desk. “They used hieroglyphs to communicate the written word, and didn’t punctuate at all. Imagine if we adopted a similar pictorial script that portrays modern Comps life; there’d be no more arguments over whether the writing needs a semicolon or a colon, and the younger Comps will feel a lot less threatened.”

Trotterdam wrote:I think the difference between options 2 and 3 is compulsory vegetarianism (though I don't see why vegetarian nations couldn't have glow-in-the-dark chickens...).

EDIT: Then again, it might also be the No Zoos policy.

Frieden-und Freudenland wrote:I was just trying to add a link to #1440 to a dispatch of mine ("My Issues") and realized that the link does not lead to the issue in the Spoiler Alert. It takes one to page 3, but #1440 is the first issue on page 4.

#1447: The Lowest Form of Wit

The Issue

Rosalia Fallon, your Minister of Health, became a target of criticism when she responded to a political opponent’s colorful insults by saying “Maybe you should consider rinsing your dirty mouth with bleach. It might even help you get rid of that bad breath.” Unfortunately, some citizens took this as actual advice that this would work as a treatment for their own stinky exhalations, and have been hospitalized with painful injuries.

The Debate

1. “Look, it is not my problem that some people in this country aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer,” sneers Fallon, throwing her arms up in exasperation. “Sarcasm, people! It shouldn’t be so hard to understand. Even my 5-year-old niece got the joke. I guess the proles must be so adept at comprehending rhetorical devices because of our robustly funded education system, and you DON’T need to spend more on that. That was me being sarcastic again, in case you missed it. Yeesh.”

2. “Nonsense, people holding public office need to have full accountability for their statements,” says Agnes Mann, popping a handful of breath mints. “If the Health Minister herself comes up and says ‘use bleach for bad breath’, who am I to doubt her authority? I mean, can you imagine if a world leader was to suggest injecting bleach? Not that anyone but a blithering baby-brained wibbling idiot would ever suggest such a thing, but still, can you imagine the potential harm? We need to ban sarcasm and all forms of linguistic ambiguity from political discourse and censure this minister for jeopardizing our lives!”

3. “Banning sarcasm? No way! This actually gives me a great idea!” exclaims Dave Skinner, your Minister of Alternative Solutions, rubbing his hands excitedly. “If anything, we should encourage our party members to employ as much equivocation in their speeches as possible, so they have plausible deniability if a statement of theirs falls flat. Did you make an unfortunate remark about Bigtopians? Just say it was sarcasm, problem solved!”

Issue by The Unapologetic Feminists of Frieden-und Freudenland

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

#1448: A Seat Quite Vacant Is a Seat Distressed

The Issue

Just yesterday, Imogen Brooks — the elected representative for Upper @@ANIMAL@@ville — tragically died while giving a speech at a hospital construction site when an entire wall collapsed on top of her. Unfortunately, various laws passed in different eras have conflicting instructions in the event of a politician’s death, causing trepidation amongst the local voters.

The Debate

1. “The easiest solution would be for you to personally appoint an ‘interim representative’, someone to act in her stead — just until the next election,” posits Matt Hawkins, a devoted supporter of your party. “It wouldn’t be long — our elections are pretty regular, right? — and it would save the hassle and cost of holding a special election. As it happens, I know just the right candidate...”

2. “It seems to me that the person who was elected should have the right to pick their successor, if they are unable to finish their term,” declares Hiro Brooks, the son of the deceased representative. “Presumably, they would choose someone who was of like mind, and could be counted on to continue supporting their predecessor’s agenda. If the new person turns out to be a dud, they would surely be voted out at the next election. Just require all elected officials to write down their preferred replacement on some sort of notarized form, and the problem would be solved.”

3. “HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!” melodramatically screams Dennis Venkman, an independent candidate famously opposed to the formation of political parties. “Strange coroners sitting in offices distributing death certificates is no basis for a system of government! Just have a by-election, the same as any other proper democratic country. No one knows who’s the next candidate the people might want, so we’ll have to put it to the people to find out!”

4. “Actually, I know exactly who the people want,” states Engelbert Conway, the most recent opposition candidate for the seat. “Me! I had the next most votes, and in the event of an elected official’s untimely passing, the runner-up should be given the job. Surely, that’s the best way to respect the will of the people — or at least 37% of them.”

5. “Pffft. So she’s dead. That doesn’t affect me!” derides Kristy Kettering, who lives in a nearby district. “You always forget about us Lower @@ANIMAL@@ville folks. Those toffs from Upper @@ANIMAL@@ville get all the funding, and we get squat! They can do without an elected representative for a little while. That’ll teach them.”

Issue by The Player By The Name of SherpDaWerp

Edited by Pogaria

Darmen wrote:

Issue #1444: Trouble in Deed

The Issue
During a photo op in a fairly upscale neighborhood of Scott City, you notice a surprising number of abandoned houses dotting nearly every street. According to the painfully grinning woman whose baby you’re kissing, the properties are still owned by Darmeni expats who emigrated to various other countries, often decades ago.

The Debate
1. “Are these decrepit buildings a blight on the place? You betcha!” remarks the ever-smiling woman, who happens to be a City Councilor, wrestling your Minister of Public Relations over the baby. “It’s not just here, either. My colleagues tell me that cities across Darmen are dealing with this plague, and it’s getting in the way of the plans for our new megamall, dontcha know. Local governments need broad authority to step in and seize buildings that aren’t being used, so that they can be auctioned or demolished. Now can I have my baby back? I’ve got a hotdish in the oven.”

2. “You can’t do that!” screeches your rarely seen Minister of Sanity, crawling out of the woodwork of a nearby house. “Imagine what would happen if we let some mayor seize property just because it isn’t being used, especially if that property is owned by expats who might have dual citizenship! Do you want an international incident on our hands? The government needs to do things by the book, and not stir up any trouble. Instead, let’s try to contact every person that owns unused property here, and ask if they’d be willing to sell.”

3. “What happens in Darmen stays in Darmen!” declares vagrant Gertie du Pont, loading a bulging stack of boxes into a shopping cart. “As far as anyone’s concerned, the people owning these properties have ceased to exist. Us local folk could really use them houses for living, social gatherings, and steali- er, borrowing anything not nailed down. If the owners come back, you can just give the land back to them. What’ve you got to lose?”

Issue by The Lucky Endo Time of Cretox State
Edited by Pogaria

Issue#1448

A Seat Quite Vacant Is a Seat Distressed
The Issue

Just yesterday, Bianca Matsenjwa — the elected representative for Upper @@NATIONALANIMAL@@ville — tragically died while giving a speech at a hospital construction site when an entire wall collapsed on top of her. Unfortunately, various laws passed in different eras have conflicting instructions in the event of a politician’s death, causing trepidation amongst the local voters.
The Debate

“The easiest solution would be for you to personally appoint an ‘interim representative’, someone to act in her stead — just until the next election,” posits Gabriel Snape, a devoted supporter of your party. “It wouldn’t be long — our elections are pretty regular, right? — and it would save the hassle and cost of holding a special election. As it happens, I know just the right candidate...”

“It seems to me that the person who was elected should have the right to pick their successor, if they are unable to finish their term,” declares Ebenezer Matsenjwa, the son of the deceased representative. “Presumably, they would choose someone who was of like mind, and could be counted on to continue supporting their predecessor’s agenda. If the new person turns out to be a dud, they would surely be voted out at the next election. Just require all elected officials to write down their preferred replacement on some sort of notarized form, and the problem would be solved.”

“HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!” melodramatically screams Dennis Han, an independent candidate famously opposed to the formation of political parties. “Strange coroners sitting in offices distributing death certificates is no basis for a system of government! Just have a by-election, the same as any other proper democratic country. No one knows who’s the next candidate the people might want, so we’ll have to put it to the people to find out!”

“Actually, I know exactly who the people want,” states Alejandro Nygma, the most recent opposition candidate for the seat. “Me! I had the next most votes, and in the event of an elected official’s untimely passing, the runner-up should be given the job. Surely, that’s the best way to respect the will of the people — or at least 37% of them.”

“Pffft. So she’s dead. That doesn’t affect me!” derides Elena Underwood, who lives in a nearby district. “You always forget about us Lower Catville folks. Those toffs from Upper Catville get all the funding, and we get squat! They can do without an elected representative for a little while. That’ll teach them.”

Issue by The Player By The Name of SherpDaWerp

Edited by Pogaria