NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Valentine Z]

Valentine’s Changelog 027

---

The best weapon in the Artillery Brigade - A Human Cannonball.

- Added 1 issue.
- Fixed some macros.
- Some validity fixes.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

[Drew Durrnil]

Valentine’s Changelog 027

---

The best weapon in the Artillery Brigade - A Human Cannonball.

- Added 1 issue.
- Fixed some macros.
- Some validity fixes.

Changes made to the threads can be seen here.

Its not @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ and @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, I got the issue and its just @@RANDOMNAME@@ for all of them.

[Valentine Z]

Its not @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ and @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, I got the issue and its just @@RANDOMNAME@@ for all of them.

Ahh, for which issue, specifically?

[Iguanarctica]

Issue 1438: Push Polling

The Issue
In the aftermath of a recent close election, your government has received a litany of complaints concerning the activities of ‘Bikers for Leader’, a grassroots organization whose intense mass demonstrations in front of polling locations and alleged harassment of opposition voters may have swung the election in your favor.

The Debate
“We’re just tryin’ ta’ help, is all,” says head biker Klaus Lane, placing a friendly arm around your shoulder and pinning one of your own party’s buttons to your chest. “Maybe we swung the election a bit. Who knows? We’re just exercisin’ our right ta’ express ourselves politically like any folks can do, and you should be supporting that. Otherwise, I can’t guarantee ma boys an’ I will keep bein’ so friendly in the future.”

“Can’t we all just get along?” asks your Director of Managerial Oversight, hanging an empty suit on your coat rack. “How about we set up special cordoned-off areas some distance away from voting locations specifically for these demonstrations? It’ll appease the more enthusiastic political types while alleviating any concerns about them interfering in the electoral process.”

“Such a nasty person. So nasty,” rambles TV celebrity Edward Rump, who claims that he is the nation’s elected leader, despite all evidence to the contrary. “People say it’s nasty, very many people, you’re hearing, they’re calling it everywhere. And we need to call — they give us a call, and they vote. And the vote won’t be nasty, because it’s fair, and we’re calling it. Bigtopia’s building a call center. They’re competing with us — the voters call and not the nasty people and it’ll be so fair. So fair.”

[Tinhampton]

Issue 1438: Push Polling

Author and editor please? I hate to be asking this of the legend that is PS2 buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

[Marxmeans]

Issue 1438: Push Polling

Author and editor please? I hate to be asking this of the legend that is PS2 buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

Author: Cretox State
Ed: Candlewhisper Archive

I can confirm that the name in 1 is random but Edward Rump is not.

[Pluvie]

Here's a third opinion on this one in case it's needed (I doubt it is but just in case ^-^)

Push Polling

The Issue
In the aftermath of a recent close election, your government has received a litany of complaints concerning the activities of ‘Bikers for Malcolm’, a grassroots organization whose intense mass demonstrations in front of polling locations and alleged harassment of opposition voters may have swung the election in your favor.

The Debate
“We’re just tryin’ ta’ help, is all,” says head biker Frank Picard, placing a friendly arm around your shoulder and pinning one of your own party’s buttons to your chest. “Maybe we swung the election a bit. Who knows? We’re just exercisin’ our right ta’ express ourselves politically like any folks can do, and you should be supporting that. Otherwise, I can’t guarantee ma boys an’ I will keep bein’ so friendly in the future.”

“Can’t we all just get along?” asks your Director of Managerial Oversight, hanging an empty suit on your coat rack. “How about we set up special cordoned-off areas some distance away from voting locations specifically for these demonstrations? It’ll appease the more enthusiastic political types while alleviating any concerns about them interfering in the electoral process.”

“Such a nasty person. So nasty,” rambles TV celebrity Edward Rump, who claims that he is the nation’s elected leader, despite all evidence to the contrary. “People say it’s nasty, very many people, you’re hearing, they’re calling it everywhere. And we need to call — they give us a call, and they vote. And the vote won’t be nasty, because it’s fair, and we’re calling it. Bigtopia’s building a call center. They’re competing with us — the voters call and not the nasty people and it’ll be so fair. So fair.”

[Drew Durrnil]

Its not @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ and @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, I got the issue and its just @@RANDOMNAME@@ for all of them.

Ahh, for which issue, specifically?

1437

[Probably Not Japan]

Issue#1438

Push Polling

The Issue
In the aftermath of a recent close election, your government has received a litany of complaints concerning the activities of ‘Bikers for Hitohiro’, a grassroots organization whose intense mass demonstrations in front of polling locations and alleged harassment of opposition voters may have swung the election in your favor.

The Debate
1. “We’re just tryin’ ta’ help, is all,” says head biker Louis Bannon, placing a friendly arm around your shoulder and pinning one of your own party’s buttons to your chest. “Maybe we swung the election a bit. Who knows? We’re just exercisin’ our right ta’ express ourselves politically like any folks can do, and you should be supporting that. Otherwise, I can’t guarantee ma boys an’ I will keep bein’ so friendly in the future.”



2. “Can’t we all just get along?” asks your Director of Managerial Oversight, hanging an empty suit on your coat rack. “How about we set up special cordoned-off areas some distance away from voting locations specifically for these demonstrations? It’ll appease the more enthusiastic political types while alleviating any concerns about them interfering in the electoral process.”



3. “Such a nasty person. So nasty,” rambles TV celebrity Edward Rump, who claims that he is the nation’s elected leader, despite all evidence to the contrary. “People say it’s nasty, very many people, you’re hearing, they’re calling it everywhere. And we need to call — they give us a call, and they vote. And the vote won’t be nasty, because it’s fair, and we’re calling it. Bigtopia’s building a call center. They’re competing with us — the voters call and not the nasty people and it’ll be so fair. So fair.”


Issue by The Lucky Endo Time of Cretox State

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Valentine Z]

Thanks for the reports, everyone! Even if they are duplicate, it's still okay, because we can then deduce what the macros are. So Edward Rump is obviously fixed, along with the Random Male Names for Option 1.

♥

[Cretox State]

Thanks for the reports, everyone! Even if they are duplicate, it's still okay, because we can then deduce what the macros are. So Edward Rump is obviously fixed, along with the Random Male Names for Option 1.

♥

Option 1 is just randomname. Edward Rump is fixed.

[Heliosphere]

The Issue
The Heliospheran Post Office reported an unexpected rise in the sale of stamps, which was oddly unaccompanied by any increase in mail deliveries. Further research has revealed that increasing numbers of Heliospherans are buying stamps to use in place of cash, with the value of the stamp acting as a promissory note for its monetary value.

The Debate
1. “I’ll admit, stamps aren’t ideal for this purpose,” concedes grocer Rochelle Glover, who recently started accepting stamps in lieu of payment for her lovely melons. “They’re a little fiddly, and if they get damp they stick together. Maybe you lot in government could make some bigger stamps, like something that would fit nicely in a good ol’ fashioned wallet, without any adhesive. You could watermark them to prevent forgery, and maybe produce them at a range of values, from 1 to 100 Novas. That’d be quite handy for day-to-day business, you know?”

2. “The whole point of digital money was to make transactions fully traceable!” splutters your Minister of Taxpayer Surveillance, thrusting a black market banana in your face somewhat aggressively. “We need to get rid of stamps, and make transactions of that sort occur purely digitally as well: a unique scannable code on mail can work just as well as a stamp. While we’re at it we’ll need to ban any other physical object that has a direct cash value: casino chips, book tokens, luncheon vouchers... they’ve all got to go!”

3. “It’s not the stamps that are the problem, it’s the illegal transactions,” growls your police chief, upsetting the grocer’s apple cart. “We need to fund sting operations to catch any trader who accepts payment in any form other than electronic credit transfer, and destroy their stock when they fail to comply.” He stamps all over the fallen produce to demonstrate. “How do you like them apples?”

4. “There’s always a simpler way,” suggests grumpy genius Tari Pratshet. “All you need to do is erode the public’s confidence in stamps - money only works as such if people accept its value. If you run a campaign of whispers reminding people that banks and credit companies don’t accept stamps, and talk about all the things they can only buy with proper electronic credit, then they will become less inclined to treat these things as money. The fad will pass.”

Issue by The AI See You of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Frieden-und Freudenland

[Rocain Founder]

One of my puppets (Cain G LoF Opp v0, should you care) just received issue #1334. The spoilers for this issue are not entirely correct. The spoilers show 3 options. What my puppet received shows there are 5 (and conceivably more). It got options 1, 2, 4 and 5. The text for option 4 is the text that the spoilers show as the option 3 text, with the following text appended: "Maybe we can do this for all our other citizens who go overseas, like tourists and students." The text for option 5 is as follows:

“Okay, the diplomats are important, but providing safe water for all of our citizens abroad would be a logistical nightmare!” asserts a jittery and paranoid government bureaucrat, twitching occasionally as she talks. “My commiserations to the students and tourists, but international travel has to be limited to official government business so we can make sure nobody leaves the country without adequate supplies.”

Since I did not receive option 3, I do not know whether the spoiler text for this option is correct, but it may well be. Trotterdam's web site shows options 3 and 4 as having the same talking point, so it would not be surprising if the two options had similar, or even identical, descriptions. If the spoiler's option 3 text is in fact correct, it suggests that option 3 is for nations which forbid emigration, while option 4 is for ones which allow it. Before it answered the issue, my puppet allowed emigration, but it chose option 5, which installed the No Emigration policy. So having option 4 depend on emigration being allowed is at least consistent with my puppet's experience.

[Heliosphere]

The Issue
Yesterday, a house in Heliosphere City caught fire while two young children were inside. Firefighters rescued the children, who were found hiding from the flames in a closet, before it was too late.

The Debate
1. “Children who are unfamiliar with fire instinctively hide from it,” says Fire Chief Rhodes, holding up a weighty fire safety manual titled Fires: They’re Not Lit. “We’ve even seen situations where kids have hidden from uniformed firefighters. You should add fire safety to the national curriculum and provide grants for fire departments to visit schools so that we can teach kids how to escape fires.”

2. “Wait, the parents left children ALONE at home?” cries Elmo Yeltsin, while ignoring his leashed-up toddlers who are sticking their slimy hands into your sweets jar. “If these kids were not left home alone, they would have never needed rescuing! Children should always be supervised by at least one adult guardian at all times who can rescue them from emergencies. It’s the only way to keep them safe. Also, parents should be charged with child neglect if their children are left unaccompanied.”

3. “You know, a fire can’t get out of control when nothing in the house can burn,” says pyrophobe Kimberly English, decked out in a fire proximity suit and wearing a fire extinguisher on her back like a diving tank. “Just mandate that all, yes all, household objects be fire resistant. That way fires can’t spread as quick, and children will be less likely to face life or death situations... at least, not ones related to fires. Here, I’ve brought a new fireproof suit for you. You look good in yellow fluoro. Very slimming.”

Issue by The Morning Peace of Apabeossie

Edited by Electrum

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

Congratulations to Refuge Isle on their first issue, joining a rare group of players to have authored an issue and a proposal in both assemblies. As far as I can tell, that number is fewer than ten (although, Omigodtheykilledkenny has no SC resolution but a UN resolution).

Hey! No fair! I do happen to have a couple failed SC resolutions to my name! (and a bunch of failed UN resolutions too, but who's counting?)

[Apabeossie]

snip

Hey! That's my issue! (although it's wrong to say "my" issue because it wouldn't have been possible without others like Verdant Haven and Editor Electrum. Thank you all!)

[Ruritane]

A lot of issues coming in.

#1443: Forage and Forget

The Issue

The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Botanical Society has reported a sharp decline in wild herb populations due to over-collection, resulting in a blossoming debate over foraging rules.

The Debate

1. “It’s thyme to root for our herbs!” reads the sign carried by botanist Rose Marie, who is brushing some thistles off her pants. “Our plants are cruelly uprooted to be gluttonously eaten, greedily sold, or even used by hikers as improvised toilet paper! We cannot afford to let our native species become extinct, just because they look appealing to wipe with! We should impose limits on foraging for all plant species to safeguard our flora and my - I mean our - botanical research.”

2. “Will my daughter need a flower picking permit?” snaps Basil Nettles, the host of the Cuisine Without Culture podcast. “And what’s next, a lawnmower ban? What a joke! Plenty depend on wild herbs for food security or to supplement their income, not to mention to spruce up their bland food, and extensive regulation would leave them eating dirt. Let me give you some sage advice: foragers should have the right to roam free and collect as many wild berries and herbs as they like.”

3. “Over-regulation is bad for the economy, but so is extinction,” reports Deputy Commerce Minister Al O’Vera. “Especially if, say, the exterminated herb has medicinal properties - @@NAME@@ would lose out on any health benefits, and the ability to profit off of it! So how about this? Let’s identify economically and medicinally important plants, then preserve them in national botanical gardens and herbaria. That way, even if foragers go wild, the nation still flowers.”

4. “Plants deserve to blossom freely, not be pent-up in a stuffy greenhouse,” interjects Cory Andrea Parsley, the chairwoman of the local neighborhood beautification council, dropping a bag of seeds on your desk. “We should give free seeds to all hikers and encourage them to spread them around while they are walking. Soon enough we will have a rampant vegetation to offset the loss from free foraging.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Frieden-und Freudenland

None of the names are random, since they all seem to be plant puns.

[Candensia]

My thanks to FuF for the excellent edit. It was very encouraging to see such an old draft finally join the hallowed halls of the issue base. (From submission to publication ~11 months!)

[Valentine Z]

Oh damn, we really do be seeing a large influx of issues.

I should get working on it soon, and congratulations to all the authors, co-authors, and editors! ♥

For 1443, I agree. I got exactly the same names and yeah, very nice play on words.

[Ssejekistan]

The issues just keep on coming, don't they? And it's another Candensia issue, like they go together!

#1442: A Green Bill of Health

The Issue

An outbreak of huanglongbing, a disease that causes citrus fruit to turn green and die, nearly wiped out all of @@NAME@@’s orange crop before it was contained. Investigators have determined that the outbreak originated from contaminated fruit brought by overseas travelers.

The Debate

1. “We’re at code blood orange here,” reports Minister of Agriculture Kendra Hicks from the ministry’s ‘citruation room’. “Our nation’s delicate ecosystem is constantly under threat from foreign diseases that can seriously harm our flora and fauna. Strict regulations must dictate which food products are allowed into @@NAME@@. If someone refuses to let customs officers confiscate prohibited items, they’ll have to make like a banana and split right back to where they came from.”

2. “A strategy like that sounds sensible, but our agriculture would still be susceptible to rot from within,” counters geneticist Quincy Payne, who recently grew flies with eyes on their wings. “It takes only one breach for there to be another outbreak. The government should sponsor a large-scale gene editing program so that the next generation of crops and livestock won’t even blink at exotic diseases. While we’re at it, we can improve them in other ways as well. You know, I’ve always wanted to make a chicken glow in the dark.”

3. “Woah... dude, aren’t plants supposed to be green?” asks hippy herbalist Virginia Warner, who imports the Sedji berry ‘superfood’. “Let’s encourage our plants and animals to build their natural immunity by exposing them to these diseases from abroad — just like a pox party. After all, it’s worked just fine in nature for millions of years and stuff.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Electrum

[Honeydewistania]

Congratulations to Refuge Isle on their first issue, joining a rare group of players to have authored an issue and a proposal in both assemblies. As far as I can tell, that number is fewer than ten (although, Omigodtheykilledkenny has no SC resolution but a UN resolution).

And congrats on the edit, Noah.

Look at me. I'm the elite now.

[Candensia]

The issues just keep on coming, don't they? And it's another Candensia issue, like they go together!

#1442: A Green Bill of Health

The Issue

An outbreak of huanglongbing, a disease that causes citrus fruit to turn green and die, nearly wiped out all of @@NAME@@’s orange crop before it was contained. Investigators have determined that the outbreak originated from contaminated fruit brought by overseas travelers.

The Debate

1. “We’re at code blood orange here,” reports Minister of Agriculture Kendra Hicks from the ministry’s ‘citruation room’. “Our nation’s delicate ecosystem is constantly under threat from foreign diseases that can seriously harm our flora and fauna. Strict regulations must dictate which food products are allowed into @@NAME@@. If someone refuses to let customs officers confiscate prohibited items, they’ll have to make like a banana and split right back to where they came from.”

2. “A strategy like that sounds sensible, but our agriculture would still be susceptible to rot from within,” counters geneticist Quincy Payne, who recently grew flies with eyes on their wings. “It takes only one breach for there to be another outbreak. The government should sponsor a large-scale gene editing program so that the next generation of crops and livestock won’t even blink at exotic diseases. While we’re at it, we can improve them in other ways as well. You know, I’ve always wanted to make a chicken glow in the dark.”

3. “Woah... dude, aren’t plants supposed to be green?” asks hippy herbalist Virginia Warner, who imports the Sedji berry ‘superfood’. “Let’s encourage our plants and animals to build their natural immunity by exposing them to these diseases from abroad — just like a pox party. After all, it’s worked just fine in nature for millions of years and stuff.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Electrum

My thanks to Electrum for their stellar work. It was *very* encouraging to see this *very* old draft finally finish its race to the issue base. (From submission to publication: 2 Years, 1 Month!)

[Disgraces]

The issues just keep on coming, don't they? And it's another Candensia issue, like they go together!

#1442: A Green Bill of Health

The Issue

An outbreak of huanglongbing, a disease that causes citrus fruit to turn green and die, nearly wiped out all of @@NAME@@’s orange crop before it was contained. Investigators have determined that the outbreak originated from contaminated fruit brought by overseas travelers.

The Debate

1. “We’re at code blood orange here,” reports Minister of Agriculture Kendra Hicks from the ministry’s ‘citruation room’. “Our nation’s delicate ecosystem is constantly under threat from foreign diseases that can seriously harm our flora and fauna. Strict regulations must dictate which food products are allowed into @@NAME@@. If someone refuses to let customs officers confiscate prohibited items, they’ll have to make like a banana and split right back to where they came from.”

2. “A strategy like that sounds sensible, but our agriculture would still be susceptible to rot from within,” counters geneticist Quincy Payne, who recently grew flies with eyes on their wings. “It takes only one breach for there to be another outbreak. The government should sponsor a large-scale gene editing program so that the next generation of crops and livestock won’t even blink at exotic diseases. While we’re at it, we can improve them in other ways as well. You know, I’ve always wanted to make a chicken glow in the dark.”

3. “Woah... dude, aren’t plants supposed to be green?” asks hippy herbalist Virginia Warner, who imports the Sedji berry ‘superfood’. “Let’s encourage our plants and animals to build their natural immunity by exposing them to these diseases from abroad — just like a pox party. After all, it’s worked just fine in nature for millions of years and stuff.”

Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Electrum

Just got that issue. The names I got were: Sashona Merkel, Anne-Marie Stromburg and Earl Burton.

[Trotterdam]

Yay, two plant-themed issues added at the same time! This totally didn't cause me any confusion whatsoever when trying to assign effect lines.

Also, here's one that isn't about plants:

#1440 Dungeons and Deaths

The Issue

Dustin Wiseau, the Prime Minister of Brancaland, recently gave a speech at the Nonviolent Objective Police Integrity Group Summit, where he encouraged the international community to investigate the "suspiciously high" rate of suicides and accidental deaths for detainees under @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ police custody.

The Debate

1. "Whaaat? Why do we get blamed for a couple of suicidal thugs and a few isolated accidents?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a police sergeant from @@CAPITAL@@. "Just yesterday a stupid teenage shoplifter threw himself out of a fourth floor window at our headquarters. Clearly, his guilt was too much to bear. These scoundrels would rather give up the ghost than the criminal life. We need to make our detention centers suicide-proof: ensure there aren't any ropes or belts lying around, remove sharp objects, and relocate cells to the ground floor so nobody can fall down the stairs. Increase our funding, and it shall be done."

2. "Well, the psychology of many offenders is clearly quite disturbed, so no wonder they are suicidal," pontificates @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Shrink, a self-employed psychiatrist. "We could easily solve this problem if the government hired psychiatrists to provide therapy to people in detention. We could talk them out of suicide and maybe even prevent recidivism."

3. "I'm sorry, but why don't you accept your shortcomings for once and seek improvement?" suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Brancalandian ambassador, while reviewing a stack of reports. "Our Prime Minister has made an acute observation. No sane person will believe that these people 'fell down five flights of stairs' or 'intentionally strangled themselves with a pair of handcuffs'. And what about this other fellow whose cause of death is listed as 'accidental ingestion of pen during interrogation'? Clearly, some of your officers tend to use incommensurate force on detainees. You should publicly apologize to the victims and put your officers in a comprehensive retraining program. We could even help you with the curriculum."

4. "What a shameless insult!" roars @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of War, crumpling up the newspaper containing Dustin Wiseau's statement. "This is obviously another Brancalandian conspiracy to meddle with our domestic affairs and make us look like barbarians on the international arena. I say it is time to make these mapleheads pay for their transgressions. Give me permission to lob a few missiles at them, and maybe they'll stop spreading baseless rumors about us!"

Issue by Frieden-und Freudenland
Edited by Pogaria

[Probably Not Japan]

Issue #1443

Forage and Forget


The Issue
The @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Botanical Society has reported a sharp decline in wild herb populations due to over-collection, resulting in a blossoming debate over foraging rules.

The Debate
“It’s thyme to root for our herbs!” reads the sign carried by botanist Rose Marie, who is brushing some thistles off her pants. “Our plants are cruelly uprooted to be gluttonously eaten, greedily sold, or even used by hikers as improvised toilet paper! We cannot afford to let our native species become extinct, just because they look appealing to wipe with! We should impose limits on foraging for all plant species to safeguard our flora and my - I mean our - botanical research.”



“Will my daughter need a flower picking permit?” snaps Basil Nettles, the host of the Cuisine Without Culture podcast. “And what’s next, a lawnmower ban? What a joke! Plenty depend on wild herbs for food security or to supplement their income, not to mention to spruce up their bland food, and extensive regulation would leave them eating dirt. Let me give you some sage advice: foragers should have the right to roam free and collect as many wild berries and herbs as they like.”



“Over-regulation is bad for the economy, but so is extinction,” reports Deputy Commerce Minister Al O’Vera. “Especially if, say, the exterminated herb has medicinal properties - @@NAME@@ would lose out on any health benefits, and the ability to profit off of it! So how about this? Let’s identify economically and medicinally important plants, then preserve them in national botanical gardens and herbaria. That way, even if foragers go wild, the nation still flowers.”



“Plants deserve to blossom freely, not be pent-up in a stuffy greenhouse,” interjects Cory Andrea Parsley, the chairwoman of the local neighborhood beautification council, dropping a bag of seeds on your desk. “We should give free seeds to all hikers and encourage them to spread them around while they are walking. Soon enough we will have a rampant vegetation to offset the loss from free foraging.”



Issue by The Royal Dominion of Candensia

Edited by Frieden-und Freudenland