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by Valentine Z » Mon Sep 28, 2020 4:44 am
by Honeydewistania » Mon Sep 28, 2020 5:37 am
Trotterdam wrote:Huh. Outer Sparta is a regular here and has lots of drafts in the forum, but this one appears to have never been publicly drafted.
Alger wrote:if you have egoquotes in your signature, touch grass
by Outer Sparta » Mon Sep 28, 2020 2:41 pm
Honeydewistania wrote:Trotterdam wrote:Huh. Outer Sparta is a regular here and has lots of drafts in the forum, but this one appears to have never been publicly drafted.
I’m pretty sure it was drafted on the whim, as he didn’t even have a plaintext copy of the issue, and he sent me screenshots of the issue submission page
by Valentine Z » Mon Sep 28, 2020 9:31 pm
by Honeydewistania » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:17 am
Alger wrote:if you have egoquotes in your signature, touch grass
by Mathematik » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:24 am
by Honeydewistania » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:19 am
Candensia wrote:Many thanks to TMI for the excellent edit.
Alger wrote:if you have egoquotes in your signature, touch grass
by Jewspont » Wed Sep 30, 2020 1:43 pm
#1373: You Should Have (Copy)Left My Software Alone!
The Issue
For once, a government program has been a hit, with the new YourGov app giving citizens unified access to all their important government services. But some @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, concerned with the storage of their personal data on government servers, have decompiled the app. These privacy advocates have discovered that large portions of the code rely on restrictive “copyleft” software libraries written in the United Federation.
The Debate
1. “I created those libraries for the good of the world, and you selfish @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ jerks used them without following the terms!” yells Ganondorf Ungar, sniffling his nose as he tries to wipe boogers on your table surreptitiously. “It says right here in the software license: all derivative works must be released under the same open-source license, so you’re committing a copyright violation by not giving out your code! Release your code and comply with the license, then maybe, just maybe, I won’t take your government to some international court and sue for everything you’ve got!”
2. “Whoa, now hold on there,” interjects lead YourGov developer Lucina Claus, who likes to go with the integer overflow. “Yeah... okay, we might possibly have used, ah, just a couple of those libraries that the kid wrote. But for us to comply with this “Wildebeest” license he’s talking about, we would have to make our code open source! Imagine the security risk if Dàguó hackers were able to access our systems by using the publicly available source code! It’s unreasonable to expect us to comply with these terms — you need to exempt the government from overreaching copyleft licenses in the name of security!”
3. “The problem here isn’t the license or the code, it’s that people found out!” whispers a shady looking individual, the brim of whose black hat is tilted to obscure his face. “@@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ who decompile the code are a security risk themselves — just like any malicious hacker. We need to obfuscate all of the code, only allow trusted developers access, and forbid members of the public from tinkering with it. Anyone who tries to probe government infrastructure obviously has hostile intentions, and we need to treat them that way!”
4. “Pretty sure that’s an unconscionable breach of our civil rights,” responds Sancho Jones, who found the copied code, as he desperately tries to conceal a Guy Fawkes mask. “We have a right to know what we’re installing on our computers — any software that you want us to download should always be open source, including the ones that you code in house! Just think how much better these applications would be if all of @@NAME@@ could provide input? True @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ programs, made by the people, for the people!”
Issue by The Player By The Name of SherpDaWerp
Edited by Electrum
by Valentine Z » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:58 pm
by Valentine Z » Thu Oct 01, 2020 6:53 am
by Valentine Z » Sat Oct 03, 2020 12:12 pm
by Authoritaria-Imperia » Sun Oct 04, 2020 5:32 pm
Colouring mine — I think that should be "@@LEADER@@", since that's what I saw when I got it.2. “It’s too late, your magnum opus has been ruined,” sighs @@RANDOMNAME@@, while offering a comforting shoulder to the previous speaker. “Jorge Shaft, it seems we need to have another song. One that would be impossible for them to corrupt, like a song showcasing how much we love sparkly rainbows!”
by Voxija » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:04 pm
by Trotterdam » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:15 pm
Just copy+paste the issue text here, and try to identify macros (particularly ones based on your nation's custom fields).Voxija wrote:I just found the first issue of MADness on my puppet! How do I report the first issue of a new issue chain?
by Lame Country » Tue Oct 06, 2020 2:26 pm
#1,375
MADNESS
Never Say Yes to a Conference Again
Issue Series
“MADness”
The Issue
Once again, the cruel hand of obligation has dragged you to the G20,000 Summit, an annual gathering of nations great and small. You are currently stuck in the evening social mixer, where one wrong word to a rival nation’s representatives can quickly escalate to hostilities. Unfortunately, several dignitaries appear keen on talking to you.
The Debate
1. “There you are! We haven’t spoken in ages,” enthuses “Doc” Moreno, the President for Life of the socialist island nation of San Vitenzo. “I hate to ask for your help, but I have a bit of a conundrum. I’m sure you have heard that the United Federation, our closest neighbor, has become rather menacing and hostile recently. Their navy has been conducting frequent ‘training exercises’ in our own territorial waters. The next thing you know, they’ll be landing on our shores with their tanks! To be blunt, we need protection from these fascist pigs. Would it be possible to station some of your nuclear weapons in our country?”
2. Before you can respond, you hear a shout from the nearby bar. “Hey, it’s the Head Honcho of @@NAME@@! How’s it going?” exclaims San Vitenzo’s Air Chief Marshall Steve Fufu, who seems to see this sort of gathering as an excuse to get uproariously drunk. “Did the Boss Man tell you about our proposal to borrow some of your nukes? You know, if you really wanted to protect us, why don’t you just give us the launch codes after sending over your missiles? That way, we’d both be able to unleash destruction upon anyone who threatened us... including those vulgar Maxtopians.”
3. “Yeah... we’re not giving out our nuclear launch codes,” declares your Defense Minister, Rolan Malinovich, who has been glaring at the Merovingian delegation with a look of disgust. “However, President Moreno has a point. The imperialist parasites need to be kept in check. Tell San Vitenzo that we will agree to their request, but only if we can set up a military base on their land — and doing it correctly is going to require a lot of tax @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@.”
4. “Seriously? You still have weapons of mass destruction?” calls Prime Minister Anders Anderson of Skandilund, who was eavesdropping from a nearby table. “I strongly urge you to dismantle them. I know they make you feel powerful and can lead to a variety of entertaining dilemmas, but the world would be so much safer without them. And more boring, but I suppose some people like that.”
Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria
Edited by Pogaria
by Lame Country » Wed Oct 07, 2020 4:01 am
#1391
MADNESS
The World Is Not Radioactive Enough
Issue Series
“MADness”
The Story So Far
A few months have passed since the G20,000 Summit, where you agreed to station some of your nuclear weapons in San Vitenzo to aid in their defense against the forces of capitalist imperialism.
The Issue
Today was supposed to be a calm day. The issues on your desk this morning were even more trivial than usual. Of course, that’s how it always goes. Defense Minister Rolan Malinovich suddenly bursts into your office, closely followed by two other ministers who are engaged in a spirited debate. Malinovich quickly marches over to your desk and motions for the others to be silent. “Good morning, Comrade Leader. As per our agreement with San Vitenzo, we are in the process of installing a nuclear missile shield as a bulwark against the United Federation’s aggressions. Unfortunately, the capitalist pigs have spotted the missiles and are now demanding that we remove them.”
The Debate
1. Malinovich hands you a transcribed copy of the enemy’s demands before continuing. “You know as well as I do that the United Federation’s leadership are a bunch of spineless weasels who will back down when confronted with a superior fighting force like our own. Tell them to quit interfering, or face our wrath.”
2. “There’s no need to provoke them unnecessarily,” replies Minister of International Diplomacy Andrea Gramyki, who is tuning the guitar that she is infamous for carrying around at all times. “What if we were to propose some sort of negotiation between our government, the United Federation, and San Vitenzo? We don’t have to actually agree on anything; we just want to delay them long enough to install the missiles before the imperialists realize what’s really going on!”
3. “Maybe we should offer a metaphorical carrot instead of a stick?” suggests Warwick Wampeter, one of your Co-Ministers of Totally Legal and Creative Solutions. “I’ve heard that the United Federation’s leader, President Ken J. Finnedy, is worried about his main opponent in their upcoming elections. If we were to discover some embarrassing revelations about this other candidate, and then offer the evidence to Finnedy, I think he would be more willing to turn a blind eye. Of course, all of this quid pro quo will require a few quid — as they say in Albionia — to help us find the most useful information.”
Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria
Edited by Pogaria
by Trotterdam » Wed Oct 07, 2020 8:31 am
by Valentine Z » Wed Oct 07, 2020 9:58 am
by 9003 » Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:57 am
Once again, the cruel hand of obligation has dragged you to the G20,000 Summit, an annual gathering of nations great and small. You are currently stuck in the evening social mixer, where one wrong word to a rival nation’s representatives can quickly escalate to hostilities. Unfortunately, several dignitaries appear keen on talking to you.
The Debate
“There you are! We haven’t spoken in ages,” enthuses Chancellor Kurt Zahmahkibo of Smalltopia. “I hate to ask for your help, but I have a bit of a conundrum. I’m sure you have heard that East Lebatuck, our largest neighbor, has become rather menacing and hostile recently. Their military has been conducting frequent ‘training exercises’ right next to the border. The next thing you know, they’ll be storming our cities with their tanks! To be blunt, we need protection from these communist warmongers. Would it be possible to station some of your nuclear weapons in our country?”
Accept
Before you can respond, you hear a shout from the nearby bar. “Hey, it’s the Head Honcho of 9003! How’s it going?” exclaims Smalltopia’s Air Chief Marshall Diego Fufu, who seems to see this sort of gathering as an excuse to get uproariously drunk. “Did the Boss Man tell you about our proposal to borrow some of your nukes? You know, if you really wanted to protect us, why don’t you just give us the launch codes after sending over your missiles? That way, we’d both be able to unleash destruction upon anyone who threatened us... including those vulgar Maxtopians.”
Accept
“Yeah... we’re not giving out our nuclear launch codes,” declares your Defense Minister, Mack Rimera, who has been glaring at the Merovingian delegation with a look of disgust. “However, Chancellor Zahmahkibo has a point. The commie parasites need to be kept in check. Tell Smalltopia that we will agree to their request, but only if we can set up a military base on their land — and doing it correctly is going to require a lot of tax gold bars.”
Accept
“Seriously? You still have weapons of mass destruction?” calls Prime Minister Anders Anderson of Skandilund, who was eavesdropping from a nearby table. “I strongly urge you to dismantle them. I know they make you feel powerful and can lead to a variety of entertaining dilemmas, but the world would be so much safer without them. And more boring, but I suppose some people like that.”
by The First Congratulatory Union » Wed Oct 07, 2020 12:04 pm
The Issue
Once again, the cruel hand of obligation has dragged you to the G20,000 Summit, an annual gathering of nations great and small. You are currently stuck in the evening social mixer, where one wrong word to a rival nation’s representatives can quickly escalate to hostilities. Unfortunately, several dignitaries appear keen on talking to you.
The Debate
1. “There you are! We haven’t spoken in ages,” enthuses Chancellor Kurt Zahmahkibo of Smalltopia. “I hate to ask for your help, but I have a bit of a conundrum. I’m sure you have heard that East Lebatuck, our largest neighbor, has become rather menacing and hostile recently. Their military has been conducting frequent ‘training exercises’ right next to the border. The next thing you know, they’ll be storming our cities with their tanks! To be blunt, we need protection from these communist warmongers. Would it be possible to station some of your nuclear weapons in our country?”
3. Before you can respond, you hear a shout from the nearby bar. “Hey, it’s the Head Honcho of The First Congratulatory Union! How’s it going?” exclaims Smalltopia’s Air Chief Marshall Ludwig Fufu, who seems to see this sort of gathering as an excuse to get uproariously drunk. “Did the Boss Man tell you about our proposal to borrow some of your nukes? You know, if you really wanted to protect us, why don’t you just give us the launch codes after sending over your missiles? That way, we’d both be able to unleash destruction upon anyone who threatened us... including those vulgar Maxtopians.”
5. “Yeah... we’re not giving out our nuclear launch codes,” declares your Defense Minister, Mack Rimera, who has been glaring at the Merovingian delegation with a look of disgust. “However, Chancellor Zahmahkibo has a point. The commie parasites need to be kept in check. Tell Smalltopia that we will agree to their request, but only if we can set up a military base on their land — and doing it correctly is going to require a lot of tax Rogmules.”
7. “Seriously? You still have weapons of mass destruction?” calls Prime Minister Anders Anderson of Skandilund, who was eavesdropping from a nearby table. “I strongly urge you to dismantle them. I know they make you feel powerful and can lead to a variety of entertaining dilemmas, but the world would be so much safer without them. And more boring, but I suppose some people like that.”
by Trotterdam » Wed Oct 07, 2020 12:59 pm
by New Saflon » Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:38 pm
by Lame Country » Wed Oct 07, 2020 2:36 pm
#1392
MADNESS
No Crime to Spy
Issue Series
“MADness”
The Story So Far
The United Federation is challenging your right to place missiles on an island nation that is near their borders.
The Issue
After your other advisors have gathered their “world’s best apparatchik” mugs and left the room, your Minister of Intelligence, known only as “N”, approaches you to take advantage of the opportunity for a private conversation.
The Debate
1. “If you have a few spare minutes, Comrade Leader, I’d like to remind you that we have a secret agent in the United Federation. Natasha Milanova is highly skilled in the delicate arts of infiltration, espionage, and making people disappear without a trace. She’s currently operating under the alias of ‘Charlotte Johnson’, a low-level officer at the Libertyville naval base. If you’d like, we can instruct her to focus on intercepting classified information on ship deployments and troop movements, and send us all of the details.”
2. N pauses, picks up a briefcase labeled ‘In Case of Emergency’, and tips it towards an unused mug, dispensing an ample measure of steaming-hot tea. “Ah, that’s much better than that awful People’s EqualiTea they serve in the cafeteria. Anyway, we also have the option of ordering Agent Milanova to directly sabotage the enemy’s naval operations. The downside of this is that she’s much more likely to be caught compared to a simple intelligence-gathering operation — and we have very few agents in the United Federation, so she’s much more valuable than those other incompetent zasranets that work for us. Of course, if things get out of hand and the imperialists try to invade San Vitenzo, they’re going to have a much more difficult time if their ships were to suddenly become coral reef habitats at the bottom of their harbor. So, which is it going to be?”
Issue by The Holy Empire of Pogaria
Edited by Pogaria
by New Saflon » Wed Oct 07, 2020 5:38 pm
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