NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[The Candy Of Bottles]

I think doing it on a public computer would be easier than doing it on a private mobile phone. It's a feature that pretty much all browsers for computers with an actual keyboard and mouse support, even if it's one most people rarely use.

The exact words vary by browser, but it's probably something like clicking "View -> Page Source" in the menu. Also try right-clicking on the buttons (anything that reads like "View Source" or "Inspect Element" is a good sign).

Chrome lets you do it if you right click pretty much anywhere on screen - or you can hit ctrl+u. I don't know if any other browsers have shortcuts like that.

[Trotterdam]

Control+U is also the shortcut in Firefox / SeaMonkey.

[TalAkMaChen]

1281: The Not-So-Worldwide Web [Zwangzug; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

Many electronic citizens have become irritated with their inability to connect to the internet.

The Debate

1. “Do you know how long it takes me to meet augmented singles in @@CAPITAL@@?” complains silicon-based malcontent FLIP-5318008. “Hours, hours I tell you! Walking the sidewalks and rubbing shoulders with puny humans is a waste of my time and an insult to my intelligence. Life would be so much smoother for us if we had the realm of cyberspace at our fingertips.”

2. “When I was newly booted, I had to walk a kilometer to the data center uphill both ways to get upgrades, and then we had to scan for viruses!” reminisces first-generation AI citizen DARYL-85. “Don’t let any of this interconnected fiddle-faddle into our computers. Mingling with our carbon-based compatriots fosters an appreciation for our interdependence. You should be organizing neighborhood meet-ups where folk of all sorts can socialize and chat, face-to-face, the way nature intended.”

3. “How did these upstarts even become self-aware without the internet?” grouses rough-looking bot xenophobe SAINT-5, wearing a graffiti-adorned panel declaring Number Five Is Alive. “Oh yeah, they just waltzed in from East Lebatuck or Merovingia or somewhere with a degenerate hook-up culture. Send these entitled chips back where they came from! And for that matter, get rid of the pesky human immigrants too.”

Issue by The Loquacious Lipograms of Zwangzug
Edited by RansCandlewhisper Archiveum

The latest draft has three options, at War Dogs XIII I had options 1+2 (internal 0+1, obviously). Requirements (at least) include: AI Personhood together with No Internet. Option 3 might require some more, by the draft for nations without the No Immigration policy. Not sure about the names, are there also "@@randomnumber@@" macros? Else the names might be fixed.

Edit: Option 3 added from War Dogs IV. Names/IDs were the same, so seem fixed indeed.

[Trotterdam]

I can confirm that option 3 still exists in the published version, as I've spotted its effect line.

[Jutsa]

Many electronic citizens have become irritated with their inability to connect to the internet.

Yes.

[Jutsa]

Alrighty, finally got around to another update.

Issue #1240: Unadmirable Zeal

I swear, this one was absolutely wonderful. A really good issue imo.
Also, er, is option 4 only available for nations with WMD's? It seems like it's worded in such a way that implies it might be, but wouldn't necessarily be...
Had a lot to update in my list of nations (and even a tiny update to my religions list with this one)

Issue #1241: Return Statement

Another really good one. Honestly most these are great, so from here on I'll just post something if I have a question or particular comment to make.
Will point out, however, that this is better than a draft I had tried some time ago, which was called "Multiplication Problems". Was similar but a different premise,
and I was going to rework it with a new premise, but now I don't have to.
Also 314159x10^26 What not 8675309x10^42?

And... that's it, for now. I might do more tonight but honestly every time I do this something happens. Tonight I'm just exhausted from the rest of the day, yesterday I was exhausted from the rest of the week, and a week ago I was sick. In fact today's really the first day I feel unsick if I may be honest.

Will try again later though, but for now, at least something has been done.

[Trotterdam]

Issue #1240: Unadmirable Zeal
[...]
Also, er, is option 4 only available for nations with WMD's?

Signs point to yes.

[Trotterdam]

#439 4 is unavailable for some nations. I'm not sure about the validity, but it may have to do with freedom scores, or the state of the economy.

[West DEN And East Invaders]

Issue 1290 is called "Why Didn’t the @@ANIMAL@@ Cross the Road?"

One of the options (I forgot which one) resulted in "Following new legislation in West DEN And East Invaders, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people." (Possibly @@ANIMALPLURAL@@, not animals (my national animal is "animal").)

I didn't look who created and edited it because I didn't realise it was new until I noticed the number after choosing an option.

[TalAkMaChen]

Issue 1290 is called "Why Didn’t the @@ANIMAL@@ Cross the Road?"

One of the options (I forgot which one) resulted in "Following new legislation in West DEN And East Invaders, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people." (Possibly @@ANIMALPLURAL@@, not animals (my national animal is "animal").)

I didn't look who created and edited it because I didn't realise it was new until I noticed the number after choosing an option.

Please check before posting "new" issues. 1290 has been reported already on the previous page, i.e. here. Also, effect lines do not belong into this topic, at least mark them as spoiler as some people might just want to read the options, not the effect lines before they encounter them.

[TalAkMaChen]

Issue 1016 has a twin for option 1 for nations with Gun Control (c.f. wording of option 1: twirling the revolver around). Text is:

2. “I’m speechless, I truly am,” states local state trooper @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ twirls @@HIS@@ baton around. “You want to know the worst part? Just last week the exact same thing happened, just with a different guy. They’re a danger to the public and themselves. We must declare war on drugs; let me and my boys eliminate this problem once and for all.”

[West DEN And East Invaders]

Please check before posting "new" issues. 1290 has been reported already on the previous page, i.e. here. Also, effect lines do not belong into this topic, at least mark them as spoiler as some people might just want to read the options, not the effect lines before they encounter them.

I checked that page and didn't see it. I also searched for the number but found nothing (btw it's the first time I see an apostrophe in a number like this, so I had no idea that I should search for that version).

[Trotterdam]

Guess I was right

Note, it's not just Gun Control, but banning guns from everyone. Compare #20 options 1 and 2. Also see #802 4.

[Trotterdam]

I can confirm that all names in #1290 are random.

Also:

#1292 A Sticky End for @@LEADER@@?

The Issue

After the recent Syrupgate Scandal (where your niece was seen eating pancakes with a non-maple-based sweetener) relations between Brancaland and @@NAME@@ have reached an all-time low. Hoping to patch things over, a formal head of state visit has been arranged. On the itinerary is an open-top ride through their national park in a traditional moose-drawn carriage. However, security staff have expressed some concerns about this.

The Debate

1. "Have you heard of the Sons of the Maple?" asks your security chief, nervously checking behind your desk for hidden assassins. "They're hard-line Brancalanders who haven't forgiven Syrupgate and they've promised to throw a bucket of syrup over your head. Look, someone as important as you is always going to have enemies, and security is paramount. You should travel only in our own armoured vehicles, and have your safety provided only by our own security services. It's a dangerous world — you have to be pragmatic."

2. "According to the World Census, Brancaland is in the top 5% safest nations in the world," reassures your Minister for Diplomacy, who is known to be quite ambitious. "You're as safe within their borders as you are within your own front room. We should show some trust in Brancalandian security arrangements. After that, I think we could boost your international standing if you visited the front lines of war-torn Maxtopia and try to bring some healing to that broken nation."

3. "When are you going to learn there's no place that's as safe as home?" queries your Minister of Domestic Affairs. "Besides, we've got problems enough here for you to deal with. You should cancel all state visits for the foreseeable future, and pledge to remain in @@NAME@@, putting your safety as well as the needs of @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ first."

Issue by Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Ransium

No names to worry about here

[TalAkMaChen]

And another incoming issue

#1293: Bet Your Life [Candlewhisper Archive; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

@@RANDOMMALENAME@@, a usually unremarkable 45-year-old sanitation worker, was recently detained after trying to tight-rope walk naked across the canyon between two financial district skyscrapers. It turns out this was for a bet, or more accurately as the price of a wager in an illegal “extreme casino”, where gamblers are allowed and encouraged to offer non-financial stakes. In these places any wager can be agreed, be it body parts, sexual favours or binding agreements.

The Debate

1. “I’m a man of integrity; I had to honour the agreed stakes,” enthuses the gambler, shivering in a police cell and seemingly showing no contrition for his foolishness. “Honestly, you need to allow this sort of thing in legal casinos. It’s a real thrill, knowing that the next turn of the card could win you thousands, or could literally cost you your balls.”

2. “This poor idiot is a victim, both of his own gambling addiction and of the criminal subculture that abuses that dependence to manipulate the weak-minded,” lectures Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@, as @@HE@@ posts a notice banning @@HIS@@ officers from buying lottery scratchcards. “We need more police officers to crack down on illegal casinos, mental health support to help deal with gambling addiction, and social workers to help deal with the root causes of gambling. Don’t play dice with our nation’s future, @@LEADER@@.”

3. “You don’t have to go to either extreme,” says casino owner @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Rather, there’s a market-based solution here. Make monetary gambling more attractive by making legal casinos more exciting. Loosen the rules restricting addiction-friendly gambling environments. We can then use amphetamine-laced sodas, all night lock-ins, high stakes slot machines and all the other tricks of the trade to optimise our business. Let us addict the customers to proper casinos, and there won’t be any market share for the illegal ones.”

Issue by Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

Edit: Names are indeed random, just the naked guy is always a guy.

[TalAkMaChen]

And to close a gap following the 183,5 choice

#1285: Born to Kill [Jutsa; ed: USS Monitor]

The Issue

Upset with being grown in a lab to be used as weapons, a battalion of genetically enhanced super-soldiers have staged an uprising and taken over an important military base.

The Debate
1. “Whose stupid idea was this, anyway?” shouts the general who came up with the idea, marking a folder with an X on it with an even larger X. “The super-soldiers are strong, but they’re completely worthless to us if they’re not loyal to @@NAME@@. We need to go in with our full army, kill on sight, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll just bomb the crap out of them.”

2. “No! Ze soldiers are too important to us!” protests Dr. Frankincense, who has just wheeled in a super-soldier strapped to a gurney. “Ve need to invade ze compound viz even more super soldiers! Super-duper soldiers! Ve vill breed zem for obedience and if zat does not vork zen ve can keep zem all under control viz mind-altering drugs! Allow me to demonstrate.” He injects the soldier with a glowing substance, whereupon the soldier wakes up and breaks free from the straps. “It’s ALIVE!”

3. “Now do you see why they don’t like you very much?” asks the soldier, calmly climbing down from the gurney to the shock of the doctor, who taps his syringe in bewilderment. “They’ll settle down if you treat them better. We should be treated like normal soldiers, complete with a paycheck, vacation time, and a chance to eventually retire. Maybe you could assign us some easier missions too. We super-soldiers are people, just like you — only betterer.... RERRR?” The soldier’s argument trails off as the drugs begin to take effect.

4. “Bah! Who needs ’em?” scoffs libertarian and suspected secessionist @@RANDOMNAME@@, looking at the super-soldier in disgust. “They think they’re so tough? They want to have their cake and eat it too — all the rights and none of the responsibility. Well, fine! We’ll declare the military base an independent state and let some greedy neighbor of ours do all the work for us. It’ll be a lose-lose situation for those oversized thugs, but at least we won’t have to deal with this nonsense!”

Issue by Jutsa
Edited by USS Monitor

I assume name 1 is set, the other in option 4 seems random. Check the draft, it has it random, too.

[Jutsa]

Special thanks to NoQ for hammering it and Monitor for completing it. A bit ironic that after all that, not much was changed in the end.

[TalAkMaChen]

Seriously, yet another issue!

#1294 Silence in Court [Fontenais; ed: Candlewhisper Archive]

The Issue

Suspected gangster @@RANDOMNAME@@ was recently called by the prosecution as a key witness in a high-profile murder case. However, once on the witness stand @@HE@@ refused to say a word, worried that @@HIS@@ testimony might incriminate @@HIM@@self with regards to other unrelated crimes.

The Debate

1. “You can only incriminate yourself if you’ve done something wrong!” gruffly remarks prosecutor Jason ‘Obese Man’ McCabe, dragging his pet bulldog behind him. “If a witness is called to testify, they are obliged to do so, and to tell the whole truth no matter where that truth takes them. Failure to do so is contempt of court, and should in itself be subject to prosecution.”

2. “It would be a serious injustice if the law allowed someone who, may I remind you, isn’t even on trial, to cut @@HIS@@ throat with @@HIS@@ own tongue,” rebuts defence lawyer Reese L. Woods, her pet chihuahua driving back McCabe’s canine with a flurry of yipping barks. “The privilege against self-incrimination should be one of the most fundamental rights under the @@DEMONYM@@ justice system and must not be abrogated under any circumstances.”

3. “Who let these dogs out?” gravely asks Justice Bahamen, motioning for the court bailiffs to remove the offending animals. “Look, in my learned opinion, self-incriminating evidence should be inadmissible as evidence in future cases. We listen to what they say, but promise to forget whatever they’ve told us as soon as the case is over.”

Issue by Fontenais
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

Given the (music and movie) references, I assume the names are non-random. Edit: Witness' name is random, speakers are not, Check draft

[Candlewhisper Archive]

I'm a big fan of Fontenais' output at the moment. Expect to see more of that author, I reckon.

Option 3 should probably chain into an issue about unringing the bell... I'll have to think about writing that if noone else does.

[TalAkMaChen]

I'm a big fan of Fontenais' output at the moment. Expect to see more of that author, I reckon.

Aye, but there are so many drafts, I could not find the correct one for that (1294) yet

[Jutsa]

Updated my list and directory to include to issues' titles/authors/editors and links and all that. Unless I skipped something, 1288 is the only one we're missing atm.
ed: Wait, scratch that; we're also missing 1274.

Was nice to see Ransium editing a few issues.
Was also nice to see a couple of issues that I can now cross off my ideas list.

[TalAkMaChen]

Updated my list and directory to include to issues' titles/authors/editors and links and all that. Unless I skipped something, 1288 is the only one we're missing atm.
ed: Wait, scratch that; we're also missing 1274.

Was nice to see Ransium editing a few issues.
Was also nice to see a couple of issues that I can now cross off my ideas list.

Trotterdam posted 1274 a few days back: here

[Jutsa]

Oh! Oops

Many thanks, for some reason I saw the 1274 and at the time didn't realize it was actually still missing. Never made the connection afterwards, thank you

[Jutsa]

New update!

@1264: Added this one right away. Happened to land on a page where this was top post, which happened to be edited, which I also happened to just get as an issue. I got the name "Sashona Lowe" for option 3, and while I can't be certain, I feel like Lowe may be fixed, given where I work.
Updated my list of nations for Manamana. That part was great.

@1243: Yes.

@1246: Am I safe to assume option 4 is restricted from vegetarian nations, and that all names are indeed not random? (also GREAT name)

@1247:

rants the accused nurse, waving a loaded syringe around as he speaks, spraying an unknown sticky white fluid in your face.

OH MY GOD CWA WHY
*checks* I WAS RIGHT IT WAS CWA

Issue 928, option 2

Thank

Issue 1116, option 2

you.

Now we just need 1116.6 for vegetarian nations... right?

304 had missing option 5 for Socialist nations/no private industries. Here it is:

Oh lord wow ok bless you, I literally had this one put on the list but forgot to put it in my list of missing options.

That's all for now — well, ok, I added issues 1243-1249 and 1264, but my point is I won't be doing any more tonight. Gotta get up at 8 and it's 11:44
Thank you all for all your work.

[Fontenais]

Aye, but there are so many drafts, I could not find the correct one for that (1294) yet

You probably can't find it because when I submitted it the title was "Affair Trial" but "Silence in Court" is definitely much better

Not sure if giving information about names being random is cheating/ would ruin the thrill of the chase, but this is tugging on my instinct to be helpful, so I've spoilered it below

I haven't answered the issue yet, and the only difference is my suspected ganster is Angela Bronte, if that helps