The Issue
Last week, rowdy schoolchildren toppled and broke a priceless ancient Maxtopian statue in the National Museum, then took selfies with the statue’s cracked head. Now, many curators across Sapnu puas are demanding that anyone under the age of 13 be banned from museums.
The Debate
“Why do parents want to bring their kids to our museums?” weeps curator Kirby Singh, mournfully cradling the head of the decapitated statue. “Inevitably, the little hooligans run around yelling and touching everything. What’s more, having children about inevitably results in museums being dumbed-down, with shiny interactive displays and silly flashing lights. One museum I went to had a ball pit in the basement! A ball pit! Young children should be excluded, and we should be refocusing museums on preserving and celebrating our culture and history.”
“Oh, get off your high horse,” retorts Heidi Benteen, mother of three self-proclaimed ‘dinosaur hunters’ who are currently jumping up and down on your desk. “It’s unconscionable that we are even debating shutting the museum door on kids. Denying children entry will only hurt Sapnu puas in the long run. In fact, all children should have free entry guaranteed, and museums must be made to be more kid-friendly!”
“I, like, can’t see why museums are even still a thing,” complains teenager Zeus Guilliman, in a bland monotone. “Just last week my school, like, made my class go on a field trip to a museum or something. It was like the most boring thing ever. We were there for so long that I was beginning to fossilize, and only thing I liked was walking out the front door. You should just, like, tear down all museums. Soooooo boring.”
