NationStates

Issue 1149 - The Goriest Advertisement

The world was shocked by videos of a Bigtopian rebel army massacring a village... using weapons with “Made in @@NATION@@” proudly branded on them.

The Debate
“Another happy customer!” declares Harry Gonzalez (@@RANDOMNAME@@?), the manager of a large firearm factory, beaming with pride. “Look how pleased that gentleman is at his DXP-7631 (First letter in abreviation = first letter in nation name) battle rifle’s stopping power. Just as advertised, it is making mincemeat of that mother and baby! Hey, speaking of advertisement, can we use this footage please? I think videos like these are fantastic at showcasing the quality of our awesome products.”

“Hm... perhaps too good an advertisement,” says the factory’s assistant manager, while watching a video of a tank rolling over a man’s head. “While the rebels’ choice of a Model 5 @@ANIMAL@@ tank was an excellent one, maybe we should have our name... well, you know, not written onto the vehicle’s hull that boldly. We should have a regulation to scrape off our weapons’ origins when selling them abroad. That way, only gun nuts will know about our role in these... um... occurrences.”

“Oh come on, you idiot!” screams infuriated weapons designer Koch Winchester (fixed name) at the screen. “Do you want to get blood jamming your pristine shotgun? Because beating an old woman to death with one is how you get that! Guns are for shooting, not... ugh. Hey, @@LEADER@@, it’s clear that these foreigners don’t know how to use our goods properly. You should ban all sales abroad and only sell our weapons to the fine people of @@NATION@@. Be sure to loosen up those gun laws first!”

“That’s ridiculous!” cries the Bigtopian ambassador. “If anything, these atrocities are proof that our great country needs more aid in crushing these rebel scum. You should mandate that only legitimate governments can purchase your arms. We certainly don’t get involved in such gratuitous violence in more than 30% of the towns we liberate. That way, you will instead see your nation’s name being used for good, not this disgusting stuff. Mostly.”

“Wait just a minute!” shouts Matilda Mozart (@@RANDOMNAME@@?), your Minister of Non-Violent Solutions, who appears to have just smashed her way out of a storage room after being locked inside by your Defense Minister. “Why do we even have a weapons industry? Look at the destruction it’s causing. This world would be a better place without our weapons and the accompanying bloodshed. I say that we must shut down every munitions factory in the nation - regardless of the cost!”

Issue by The Republic of Chan Island
Edited by Pogaria

Jutsa wrote:Hmm... think it might be an option added last-minute? O_o

No, 1147 has only been uploaded once and never been modified.

Any one noticed that they repeated #0 (Should democracy be compulsory) at # 1000

I got one of the missing options you were after for issue 858, fairly sure that it's 858.4 not 858.5 though (using the Inspect method, it was listed as "choice-3"). May want someone else to verify?

“Her Honour Judge Clarke has a point. All human beings are susceptible to bias more than they realize,” suggests tech enthusiast Winston Jobrani, who famously augmented himself with robotic arms. “How many times has a jury convicted someone who was obviously innocent or vice versa because they were emotionally persuaded by the attorney? On the other hand, computers don’t base their decision on emotions. They make decisions only on logic and cold hard facts. I propose that all courts should be run by automated systems that will leave no room for error.”

Memelandia Major wrote:Any one noticed that they repeated #0 (Should democracy be compulsory) at # 1000

The title is repeated, but the contents are different.

Panicand wrote:I got one of the missing options you were after for issue 858, fairly sure that it's 858.4 not 858.5 though (using the Inspect method, it was listed as "choice-3"). May want someone else to verify?

I'm guessing there never was an option 5, and option 4 has been permanently changed (replacing "robotics CEO" with "tech enthusiast" makes the option more appropiate for communist nations, but it's not like it's inapplicable to capitalist nations).

Not sure if anyone got it already, but I got issue #1132, "Gold Standards".

#1132: Gold Standards [Baggieland; ed: Baggieland]

The issue
Aenglaland has just hosted the Olympics – and what a success they were! After the best ever medal haul at an Olympics, some are wondering if it would be advisable to always offer a new house and a significant amount of money to every Cattish athlete that wins gold.

The Debate
1. “Clearly this offer gave our athletes the incentive they needed to perform that little bit better,” suggests Debra Assange, your Sports Minister, placing the final medal table in front of you. “Four years ago we only won a handful of golds; this time we won ten times as many! Okay, there was the well-known benefit of home advantage, but without doubt this was a successful scheme with a successful outcome. It absolutely must be continued at all future Olympics.”

2. “No, that will not do at all; it will drain the sports and development budget – leaving little money for other projects,” muses Ivan Gilbreth, your Treasury Minister, who has just counted up all his spare cash only to find he is one Golden Cat® short for a Moonbucks. “It sickens me that our athletes only perform at their best when there’s something extra in it for them. Do away with this ludicrous scheme, save ourselves some money and install some national pride into our sportsmen and women!”

3. “Not enough national pride, you say?” queries General Miller, as she salutes the flag in your office. “If these athletes only try hard when there’s a free house and piles of cash involved, then we need to give them a different kind of incentive! A lifetime of hard labour for all those that fail to bring home a medal should be ‘encouragement’ enough!”

Ayy! Sweet, thanks, we didn't have that one!

Uh, I'll get to updating everything some time later or something; bit drained today. :v

Please add the "No Ad" policy.
Total ban of all unsolicited advertising.
There are well-rubricated activity/contacts books (with client-reviews and anti-cheat protection) available to each and everyone - and that is enough.

Test2018 wrote:Please add the "No Ad" policy.
Total ban of all unsolicited advertising.
There are well-rubricated activity/contacts books (with client-reviews and anti-cheat protection) available to each and everyone - and that is enough.

This is not the place to suggest new policies. This is the thread where new issues that haven't been released before are added to our player-maintained list.

New policies are only added organically, as there are issues that require them. If you want a "No Ad" policy -- although it would probably not be frontstage (as its the admin team that programmes new frontstage policies as absolutely necessary; which takes many, many months) -- my suggestion is that you write an issue that might necessitate such a policy.

I suggest that you draft any issue here in the Got Issues subforum. Issues have a much higher chance of success if drafted in GI.

Memelandia Major wrote:Any one noticed that they repeated #0 (Should democracy be compulsory) at # 1000

I blame the author. He's such a hack.

A Noble Cause for a Fight 1144

The Issue
Seemingly unprovoked, the renowned Lord Ota Novumaga has attacked a neighboring barony in Western Ducktrap with his own private army. As noble tensions increase and rumors of a civil war brew, your court and office have become a battlefield of conflicting ideals.

The Debate
0.) Lord Ota Novumaga enters your court and bows in deference. “The Lord in question had plans to attack neigbouring estates, putting the safety of the entire region at risk. If you may grant me a title of knighthood, Leader, I will pledge my sword and loyalty to protect Ducktrap. I have faith that other aristocrats shall also answer duty’s call!”

Accept

1.) “Ota is a very ambitious man,” sneers Lady Macbed, the wife of one of your advisors. “Be careful about giving him too much authority. Keep in mind, he acted in a reckless manner — a sorry sight indeed. Do not be so willing to offer up the milk of human kindness to that man. A different reward for his service could possibly be offered, if only a pittance to send a message. Perhaps rewarding him with only half of the land of the Lord he stopped?”

Accept

2.) “The problem is the lack of a central authority,” your brother suggests, casually flipping through the latest edition of ‘Prince Charming Magazine’. “Now, I’m not saying you’re a bad leader. It’s just that the nobles don’t see you as a credible one. You need a lesson in projecting confidence; crack some heads to show these aristocrats who’s boss. All the nobility will have no choice but to bow down to your authority.”

Accept

3.) A military man struts into your office amidst a group of peasants singing a very catchy song about ‘angry men’. “Leader, I am George Bonaparte, a nobleman who will speak for the people. Ducktrap is infested with incompetents who inherit titles rather than earn them. They feud among themselves having done little for the people they are supposed to lead! Do the right thing and abolish feudalism and the nobility, unless you want the masses who have long stayed silent to finally rise up in arms against you!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Moro-Malay Ethnostate of Fardhin

Edited by Altmer Dominion

Options numbered as in source, macro's untouched. Lady Macbed seems likely to be fixed though, as does Bonaparte.

Wooo! Altmer’s first edit! Congrats!

Sweet! Congratulations you two!


I've really gotta update this list ,_,

#1079 What's Love Got to Do With It?

The Issue

When you walk into your office, you see Bart, your personal secretary, in a passionate — and completely illegal — clinch with @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@, your other brother.

The Debate

1. "Yes, Bart and I are in love," sighs @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@, as your personal secretary straightens his tie and smooths his hair. "We've been meeting in secret for three years now. It's been difficult, and I've hated hiding it from you. I so wanted to tell my favourite sibling that I met a wonderful human being: intelligent, articulate, caring... but because of the law, I didn't dare. Isn't it time to change that law? Do you know how it feels, to be unable to walk down the street with your sweetheart or even buy a Violetine's Day card without being harassed? Wouldn't it be just fabulous if we could have the same rights as heterosexual couples?"

2. "Of course they kept it a secret," barks your traditionalist Minister of the Interior, as he slams his riding crop repeatedly against his own thigh with unusual pink-cheeked glee. "Because they're nothing but a pair of sodomites. 'Love'? Pah! They are no more capable of such wholesome emotion than a pair of orang-utans. And what do we do when we want an animal to cease rutting? We neuter them. All sexual inverts, regardless of gender or social position, must be taken to a medical centre and doctored, so they are incapable of feeling lascivious lusts." With a long sigh, he finally brings the crop to rest.

4. "That seems awfully... draconian," muses @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, your Minister of Public Schools, whose fifteen year relationship is childless. "I was just saying to my partner Alex — she's busy at the forge today: who doesn't go through a phase in their younger years? It's expected for a young man or woman to have a very close chum, with whom they tousle, and cuddle and even snog a bit. So I hear. @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME_1@@ will grow out of it. There's no call for any, shall we say, unpleasantness. Just encourage matchmaking services specifically for those with close same-sex friends seeking simpatico partners, and award a monetary gift to those who find an opposite-sex mate. He'll soon find a nice gal, and forget all about @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@... erm, Bart."

Issue by The Free Joy State
Edited by Baggieland

Validity for the option variant appears to be No Marriage.

Bart and Alex both appear to be nonrandom, while the other names are random. The fact that Alex, while capable of being a female name, is more commonly thought of as a male one is probably not a coincidence.

Trotterdam wrote:Validity for the option variant appears to be No Marriage.

Bart and Alex both appear to be nonrandom, while the other names are random. The fact that Alex, while capable of being a female name, is more commonly thought of as a male one is probably not a coincidence.

I can confirm that Bart and Alex are non-random.

The Free Joy State wrote:I can confirm that Bart and Alex are fixed.

"fixed" has a colloquial meaning that involves veterinary surgery...
^_^

Bears Armed wrote:

The Free Joy State wrote:I can confirm that Bart and Alex are fixed.

"fixed" has a colloquial meaning that involves veterinary surgery...
^_^

*drums fingers on desk*

Yes... Very good... And now to adjust the original post.

Sacara wrote:Wooo! Altmer’s first edit! Congrats!

Jutsa wrote:Sweet! Congratulations you two!


I've really gotta update this list ,_,

I was wondering how long that issue was going to slip under the radar.

Altmer Dominion wrote:I was wondering how long that issue was going to slip under the radar.

Don't worry -- I have the eyes of a hawk.

I'll also confirm that every name is non-random.

1023.4:

“Not having sex before marriage is a bad idea,” chimes in marriage counsellor Ned Cox, carefully positioning himself out of the potential trajectory of the pitchfork. “My conservative clients rushed into marriage without getting to know their prospective spouse well, because it was their only chance to have sex without social backlash; now they all experience marital problems. We should encourage young people to have premarital sex with their partners, and to take time to see if they will be compatible. To prevent undesired effects, we should also reverse our ridiculous contraception ban, so that couples can be fully informed about the contraceptive methods available.”

I got 1142.2

“I’ll be dammed if this doesn’t keep coming up every couple years,” sighs a representative from the Womb Tang Clan, a leading abortion advocacy group. “Sneaking around in bathroom stalls is for politicians, not for women seeking legitimate healthcare! We need to keep abortion safe and legally accessible to all women, especially the vulnerable women who are most likely to need more than one abortion and would be most impacted by any attempt to limit or defund abortions. The citizens of Jutsa, we must mandate healthcare provision of these vital, life-saving services. Also, if you’d allow family planning services to distribute free contraception that is actually effective — not just leaflets about Selma the Sexually Continent Squirrel — that could really help.”

Will fix italics as well. So glad I banned contraceptives just to get these options.

#1152: 'Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting!' [author = Bears Armed; editor = Nation of Quebec]

^_^

sweet.

Going to try, again, to update my list. Been kinda out-of-it these last few days.

edit: Alright, updated my list's directory (and NSI's list) and updated 1142. Gotta shovel a cruddy ton of snow, though, before shoving off to the vet. :I