NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Sapnu puas]

Spongbob reference? I'm being blind I think - what reference is that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u8f6pE69k0

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Ah man, I was thinking that was a really funny bit of writing on Aussie's part. Turns out it was just copied, eh?

[Jutsa]

I'm still very happy that
a) spongebob was referenced in an issue and
b) that specific reference was used in this issue.

[Flanderlion]

Balancing the Books


The Issue
After selling just 187 copies, How to Repair Your Cat for Dummies was shockingly still the national #1 best-seller this year. In response, a small group of effete, sweater-vest-clad bookworms have used copies of War and Peas to barricade themselves in your office.

The Debate
“That’s truly shameful,” sighs local librarian Kirby Howard, pulling a copy of The Visible Hand from within the deep pockets of his overcoat. “The solution is subsidizing books. The reduced prices will encourage Flanderlionians to buy a good ol’ book again. Infinite knowledge is waiting just behind those pages, Dale Flanderlion. Folks just need a little nudge.”

Accept

“It’s not their choice anymore,” declares your Minister of Education, while reluctantly putting down a copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare. “People don’t realize what they are losing by not reading. If Flanderlionians stopped watching ‘The Brash and the Backstabbing’ and actually read something, we’d have a more interesting, enlightened, and productive populace. For everyone’s sake, make it mandatory to read a book every month.”

Accept

“What about us?” asks the best-selling author Bax Marry, already signing a copy of his feline mending manual without you asking. “We are the ones that need help. It took five years of hard work and painful scratches to figure out how to properly cauterize a cat’s cataract. You know what we need? A little incentive to keep us inspired to make great masterpieces. Establish a government-sponsored workshop to help up-and-coming writers. I could teach them a few lessons I learned while writing my smash hit.”

Accept

“Uggh, if you can’t write in three sentences or less you’re being overly wordy,” mutters one of your secretaries, while briefly scanning a summary of the erudite malcontents’ requests. “If people don’t want to read a lot, why force them?”

Issue by Braskia

Edited by Ransium

I think Kirby Howard might be @@RANDOMNAME@@ but it could just be a reference I missed.

Was going to find the thread - but the author seems to have tragically CTEd - but I love the effect "Newspapers print only headlines."

[Jutsa]

Braskia?

Holy cow, that name was from so long ago.

They wrote a whole bunch of issue drafts, but only one was accepted, all the way back at #848...
at least, until now!

I'd congratulate them but I'm pretty sure they CTE'd before they even got the first one accepted,
which should tell you just how old this issue probably is.

[Flanderlion]

Wait, so the rejected issues can be picked up again?

Also, the time represented by issue numbers mean less than they did, as I remember https://www.nationstates.net/page=news/ ... index.html (500 issues). Now we're at #1104 (realised I didn't include that just before). I was expecting the guy to be back in 2014 type territory, not founded just over a year ago and CTEd just over a month back.

[Jutsa]

Oh wait they only CTE'd last month? Guess I was wrong then.

Still, I mean, for the authors pool that's quite some time ago.

ed: Oh yeah also was this issue 1104? .-.

ed2: Also, really nice issue. Glad to see one address nations with a small book industry.

[Ransium]

Here's the drafting thread viewtopic.php?f=13&t=423800&hilit=Book+Lovers+Decline

Wait, so the rejected issues can be picked up again?

Also, the time represented by issue numbers mean less than they did, as I remember https://www.nationstates.net/page=news/ ... index.html (500 issues). Now we're at #1104 (realised I didn't include that just before). I was expecting the guy to be back in 2014 type territory, not founded just over a year ago and CTEd just over a month back.

They technically can, although it's very unlikely. I think this one never was rejected though. It sat in my folder for a while, another editors folder for a while, then I picked it up again.

[Jutsa]

>almost 14 months ago

Yeah see I thought this one was old...

edit: o ya also thank you for the report, Flanderlion. :3

[Australian rePublic]

Ah man, I was thinking that was a really funny bit of writing on Aussie's part. Turns out it was just copied, eh?

Guilty

[Trotterdam]

#1104 Balancing the Books

The Issue

After selling just 187 copies, How to Repair Your Cat for Dummies was shockingly still the national #1 best-seller this year. In response, a small group of effete, sweater-vest-clad bookworms have used copies of War and Peas to barricade themselves in your office.

The Debate

1. "That's truly shameful," sighs local librarian @@RANDOMNAME@@, pulling a copy of The Visible Hand from within the deep pockets of @@HIS/HER@@ overcoat. "The solution is subsidizing books. The reduced prices will encourage @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ to buy a good ol' book again. Infinite knowledge is waiting just behind those pages, @@LEADER@@. Folks just need a little nudge."

2. "It's not their choice anymore," declares your Minister of Education, while reluctantly putting down a copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare. "People don't realize what they are losing by not reading. If @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ stopped watching 'The Brash and the Backstabbing' and actually read something, we'd have a more interesting, enlightened, and productive populace. For everyone's sake, make it mandatory to read a book every month."

3. "What about us?" asks the best-selling author Bax Marry, already signing a copy of his feline mending manual without you asking. "We are the ones that need help. It took five years of hard work and painful scratches to figure out how to properly cauterize a cat's cataract. You know what we need? A little incentive to keep us inspired to make great masterpieces. Establish a government-sponsored workshop to help up-and-coming writers. I could teach them a few lessons I learned while writing my smash hit."

4. "Uggh, if you can't write in three sentences or less you're being overly wordy," mutters one of your secretaries, while briefly scanning a summary of the erudite malcontents' requests. "If people don't want to read a lot, why force them?"

Issue by Braskia
Edited by Ransium

[Jutsa]

successfully deitalicized the fourth phrase.

[Aramanchovia]

1105: A Green History Lesson

Inspired by the message of environmentalism, Gore al-Vidal — the latest scion of an old family — decided to install solar panels on his home. However, his house is also the centuries-old Summer Palace, a world-famous and highly-prized example of 18th-century Aramanchovian architecture.

The Debate
1. “Well, I say The Leader, this is all fuss over nothing,” asserts al-Vidal, while inspecting the nutritional information on the side of a green juice box. “The world will be a wonderful place once everyone pitches in to save the environment. These solar panels cover all the electricity and heating needs of my sixty bedroom ancestral home. I think your government should follow in my footsteps! Put solar panels on every government property to show the world that we mean to take a stand against climate change! Think of the future!”

2. “Simple vandalism, that’s what this is,” rages Professor Peter Case, a lecturer in Enlightenment history, putting his fist through a priceless stained glass window as he waves his arms around in anger. “This palace is a unique structure, with key architectural experiments in its design. To cover up the world famous tile-work would be an eyesore and an irreparable blow to historical preservation! You must maintain a list of culturally significant locales that cannot be tampered with, for the sake of posterity. Think of the past!”

3. “Wait, why is an entire property of this size being powered and heated for just one resident?” asks egalitarian socialist Violet Hume, as she rearranges the documents on your desk into eight stacks of exactly equal height. “We should seize this and other oversized homes as state property, and reassign the living space on a fairer basis to house the homeless. Let’s face it - this wealthy landowner’s ancestors got their wealth through exploitation and violence. Meanwhile, there’s poor people living on the streets, right now! Think of the present!”

Issue by The Republic of Chan Island
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Jutsa]

Another excellent issue, Chan.

[Chan Island]

Another excellent issue, Chan.

Thank you! ^^

[Techolandia]

« Back to Issues
1 ASQUELE

The Circuit City Herald
VOL. 32 NO. 1,101
CITY FINAL
WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 14, 2018

Unreal
The Issue

A study in the journal Periodical for Learning About the Sociological Misadventures of Audiovisuals has revealed that young adults who watch reality television are more likely to experience negative social interaction and emotional effects than their peers.
The Debate

“Reality television gives the impression that what is appearing on television is, in fact, realistic,” complains lead researcher Dr. Sydney Vader, hiding her Television is for Squares badge beneath her labcoat. “In fact, it’s scripted and heavily edited fiction. Constant arguments, excessive expressed emotion, unrealistic body expectations, instant gratification: these lead to youths acting out in unacceptable ways and to a general negative inertia in society. All these shows should carry disclaimers to explain how reality is being misrepresented, and all schoolchildren must be taught about the distortions in these shows.”

“Like my sister Chrissie says: don’t be haters just ‘cuz you ain’t us,” natters Christina Cholmondeley, of popular reality show Crashing Out with the Cholmondeleys, as she flicks her hair. “Reality TV is, like... what’s the word? Not Alsatian... aspirational. We aspire kids to be better than they are. If they’re fat and stupid, we make them want to be pretty and clever, like us. By acting like us, they can hope to be like us. Then they’ll have their own brand of perfume, like Chrissie C’s Pong of Class, which is on sale now, babe. Rather than oppress us, you should show your fans how awesome you are by being on our show... like, lots. Techolandia needs our brand of style way more than political speeches.”

“Objection!” shouts arbiter ‘Judge Bianca’, who earns one million asqueles per show, as she bangs her gavel on your desk. “Leader, that Cholmondeley moron is selling you manure and telling you it’s chocolate. Does she think you’re an idiot? Brain-dead shows like hers are the reason why young Techolanders have no motivation to get a real job. They see over-glossed and glossed-over lives, and think it all comes easy. Young people would be more focused if reality shows only showed serious professionals doing real jobs, and not lies about fame and fortune.”

“The problem is the negativity,” chimes preternaturally perky Baby Bebe Baker-Bell, who found fame as a child singing on Techolanders Have Talent (Honest!). “Backstage, wranglers stir up spiteful competition between contestants. They goaded me into calling someone a ‘meanie bo beanie’! I still wake up sweating. But maybe a better class of reality TV could instead nurture a pleasant society by encouraging participants to only be nice to each other, and by editing out the sad parts of life. Wouldn’t it be lovely if everybody got along better?”

“We must escape from dreary reality,” says Ned, your nephew and a recent graduate of the Techolandian Academy of Dramatic Art, as he strikes a stereotypically heroic stance. “By forcibly reallocating all reality TV slots and funding, we could tell intelligent stories and pay good wages to highly skilled actors who have a classic face suited to play either the dashing lead or the brooding baddie. Noir mysteries, sultry sagas in country houses, earthy dramedies, pulsating thrillers, period pieces of pride, prejudice and penury; with funding, we could usher in a golden age of quality Techolandian drama.”

Issue by The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Top
NationStates by Max Barry, author of Lexicon Jennifer Government Syrup Company Machine Man

[Furry Things]

Since as far as I can tell, this issue has been elusive until now, it seemed to happen directly after I chose option 3/4 in Issue #502, so it may be a requirement that the nation's animal is allowed to vote (though I'm pretty sure I've gotten #502 before and chosen the same option) or it may trigger as the next issue after #502 depending on option choice, since I got #1096 right after.

I have substituted the obvious ones with their macros, but obviously I don't have a way to tell if names are partially or completely random, same with the genders.

En Bloc

The Issue
Upon allowing @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ to vote, it has come to light that elements in society are training large teams of them to vote for specific candidates and causes. With hordes of @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ forming an orderly line outside a nearby polling station, you decide to listen to a group of fervent bystanders.

The Debate

1. “Take a good, hard look at what we have become,” declares Genghis Horner, who, along with his friends and family, have supported the same political party for decades. “Are you telling me it’s a coincidence that their voting patterns are virtually identical? That they all willingly would vote against their own interest, like supporting candidates deep in the pockets of the agricultural-industrial complex? I’m telling you, animal-whispering yahoos are allowed to vote tens, even hundreds, of times through their ‘associates’. It’s unfair, and it’s voter fraud. Clearly, we need to forbid @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ from voting.”
   
2. “Don’t say that around Mr. Puffles,” lectures Mama Perry, covering her pet’s ears with a crochet scarf. “If @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are being manipulated to vote a certain way, we need to find and crack down on those trying to abuse the system. In addition, you should install an unbiased program to teach @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ how to resist this kind of conditioning, allowing them to vote freely, of their own mind.”
   
3. “With @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ this was bound to happen,” whispers Milo Cesar in a Wezeltonian accent, while asserting his dominance over Mr. Puffles. “They are intelligent, yes, but crave leadership. It is only natural that they seek guidance. The real question is, who is best fitted to guide them? Perhaps it is you? My rates are very reasonable, and with discipline and affection - in that order - I will make you the leader of the greatest pack @@NAME@@ has ever seen.”

Issue by The Planetary Alliance of Jutsa
Edited by Gnejs

Though now I'm confused about how this conclusion was made:

Look out for #1096 being something about weapon ownership, possibly with an an emphasis on underage people.

[Jutsa]

...

I gotta say, it was very fun keeping this one secret after already giving away another one and making this one look like I had nothing to do with it.

I'd like to thank Gnejs so much; it was a very happy surprise to find this one added to the game,
to see another Gnejs edit, and to see Gnejs edit one of my drafts, all so soon after Baggie added 1094.

Can confirm the macros. I submitted it totally random, though Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ was originally male (still a mama though).
(not actually sure if it's a firstname or a lastname but I'm pretty sure it's a lastname)

Fun fact, though: Milo Cesar is, in fact, fixed, and I do not recognize the reference because... please don't judge me.
Also, the fact that Wezeltonia finally appears again, that's another yes. >:3

Thank you for finding this, Furry Things.

edit: also I'm up at 5:45 AM... something about not being able to sleep after using the john at 4 in the mornin'.

[Furry Things]

...

I gotta say, it was very fun keeping this one secret after already giving away another one and making this one look like I had nothing to do with it.

I'd like to thank Gnejs so much; it was a very happy surprise to find this one added to the game,
to see another Gnejs edit, and to see Gnejs edit one of my drafts, all so soon after Baggie added 1094.

Can confirm the macros. I submitted it totally random, though Mama @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ was originally male (still a mama though).
(not actually sure if it's a firstname or a lastname but I'm pretty sure it's a lastname)

Fun fact, though: Milo Cesar is, in fact, fixed, and I do not recognize the reference because... please don't judge me.
Also, the fact that Wezeltonia finally appears again, that's another yes. >:3

Thank you for finding this, Furry Things.

edit: also I'm up at 5:45 AM... something about not being able to sleep after using the john at 4 in the mornin'.

No problem! Also, I think Milo Cesar is a reference to Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer. Also, I put it up on NSIndex in case you want to admire it: https://nsindex.net/wiki/NationStates_Issue_No._1096 lol

[Jutsa]

awesome, thank you!

Also:

Though now I'm confused about how this conclusion was made:

So that was actually issue 1098. Don't you worry, you're correct that this is a 502 followup. Trot eventually even suspected it.

[Jutsa]

Now we just need #998...

I guess McCarthyism isn't all that popular.

[Jutsa]

sorry for all the posts but I'm just admiring this:

En Bloc [Jutsa; ed: Gnejs]

That has got to be the smallest listing to date.

[Trotterdam]

Though now I'm confused about how this conclusion was made:

Look out for #1096 being something about weapon ownership, possibly with an an emphasis on underage people.

I got the number wrong, that was #1098. Since my post about #502 was later, I think I didn't know about this one yet at the time, so I assigned that one to the next unfilled number.

Now we just need #998...

I guess McCarthyism isn't all that popular.

It's because it's currently only available from an issue chain, which no nation can get more than once.

sorry for all the posts but I'm just admiring this:

En Bloc [Jutsa; ed: Gnejs]

That has got to be the smallest listing to date.

What does it mean, anyway? What does an "en" have to do with animals?

[Jutsa]

I had to google that; turns out it means "all together or all at the same time."

Was kinda sad to see the song reference title go, but it works.

[Techolandia]

« Back to Issues
1 ASQUELE

The Circuit City Herald
VOL. 32 NO. 1,095
CITY FINAL
THURSDAY NOVEMBER 15, 2018

Make the Cut
The Issue

When the grass on a roadside patch of lawn in front of Nelson Carter’s house grew so long that a herd of wild deer moved in, the local council tried to force him to mow it - a job he claims is not his to do. Unexpectedly, this all-out turf war escalated over several months, till finally the problem has found itself on your doorstep.
The Debate

“It’s a bloody outrage, it is!” complains Nelson Carter, who has showed up wearing nothing but a grubby string vest and stained briefs that have seen better days. “Some whinging council nerd says it was me land to mow and I gotta mows it! So then I told ‘em since it was me land, I can do whats I wants with it. Then they tell me it’s their land, but I gotta mows it. Anyways, I tells ‘em: if it ain’t me land, then it ain’t me bloody problem to mow the land, is it? If they want it mowed, they can bleedin’ mow it themselves!”

“Surely you can’t expect us to look after every nature strip in our local government area?” asks Councillor Maria Howell, waving the red-ink-covered printout of the Local Authority’s annual budget. “By the time we pick up litter and pull weeds, we’ll need to be doubling our council rates! And when we do increase our rates, everyone chucks a stink! Force the idling bludgers to be socially responsible for once in their lives, and get them mowing!”

“The whole problem appears to be that it’s not the resident’s land,” suggests Sherlock Peters, your Minister of Creative Solutions. “So what if we were to change that? Expand land rights out from the front door to the road. Homeowners get a land windfall, local authorities get to devolve responsibility. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Hard problems need hard solutions,” observes Anakin Weasley, manager of ConcreteIsUs. “Why don’t we just pave over the damned nature strip? That way it won’t matter whose land it is as no one will have to mow it.”

Issue by The Federation of Australian rePublic

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Top
NationStates by Max Barry, author of Lexicon Jennifer Government Syrup Company Machine Man