NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Jutsa]

Finally updated 527. >_<

Idk what happened. I think I updated everything except option 1, but I seriously don't know, so I updated everything there.

Did we ever find option 2? I'm pretty sure the old one's gone and it's now a no-alcohol version of 1, but idk if we ever found it or not.

[Trotterdam]

Did we ever find option 2?

Not that I know of.

[Jutsa]

Time to update the list of things we need to update the list of things this list is for.



all of 6, 190.2, 274.4/5, 394.3, 488.3, 527.2, 717.3, 760.3, 765.5, 788.2, 788.5, possibly 837.5/6, 848.3, possibly 850.4, 851.4, possibly 858.5, 875.3, possibly 880.4, 884.4, possibly 896.6, 910.4, all of 911, who knows how much of 914, all of 917, 918.7, 928.2, 948.3, 949.3,
and validities for 411.1/2, 523.3, 610.4, and all of 896.

Also need all of 945, and don't forget that Easter and April Fools' Day are coming on; I smell easter eggs.

[Trotterdam]

Also need all of 945, and don't forget that Easter and April Fools' Day are coming on; I smell easter eggs.

Traditionally we get minigames for that, not issues. But we'll see!

[Jutsa]

Oh, hey, is 948.1's speaker male, female, or gender-neutral? I can't tell what "Iris" is but NSindex says the name's supposed to be male.

[Altmer Dominion]

Oh, a minor PSA about #940.3: The first name is randomized, but the last name isn't. Unless the name 'Fripp' was added in the pool of last names, it ought to be static. Small detail, but I thought it was a clever little addition by Pogaria.

[Trotterdam]

#949 Jailhouses Rocked!

The Issue

A controversial concert at the nation's largest penitentiary headlined by guitarist Ronnie @@CURRENCY@@ went awry after he began playing his newest song, '@@CAPITAL@@ Prison Blues'. Buoyed by the anti-establishment message, the inmates became increasingly rowdy, resulting in a massive cell block riot. Inmates across the country have followed suit, with nationwide prison riots plunging the system into chaos.

The Debate

1. "@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ prison guards need immediate support!" gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Trotterdam Department of Corrections. "We're being completely overrun! There's no way we can contain these riots with our current personnel numbers! I don't care if you need to take police off the streets: if something isn't done, we're going to have multiple prison breaks on our hands!"

2. "That won't be enough!" booms General @@RANDOMNAME@@, entering your office with a firing squad behind @@HIM/HER@@. "We can't afford to hold back. At this point, these inmates should be considered enemy combatants... and will be dealt with extreme prejudice. Soldiers are waiting at the ready. Just give the order. In fact, we ought to keep this practice in place once the situation has been dealt with."

3. ???

4. "My engineers have you covered," confidently advertises @@RANDOMNAME@@, founder of the start-up tech firm Optical Experiments. "The nation's correctional facilities are long overdue for an upgrade. With proper surveillance, automated sentries, high-grade lasers, et cetera, that pesky human factor will be swiftly eliminated. In more ways than one, of course."

5. "A non-violent solution is still perfectly attainable," beams @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of a parental watchdog group. "If that detestable musician had never thought to poke the @@ANIMAL@@'s nest, none of these riots would have occurred in the first place. That type of music is too much trouble for its own good, wouldn't you agree? If their inspiration is removed, inmate riots will naturally lose motivation."

6. "Perhaps y'all should have listened to the concerns of these inmates," sarcastically ponders Ronnie @@CURRENCY@@, having been taken in for questioning. "That prison was a powder keg. Something was gonna to happen. I just happened to be the spark. It's never too late to make a difference. Sit down with both sides, and shut up and listen. Let these inmates' voices be heard and let them control the conversation for a change."

Issue by Altmer Dominion
Edited by Nation of Quebec

I don't know if Ronnie is random, however I'm pretty sure that his last name is always @@CURRENCY@@, not a random last name. I know, because it has a capitalization error that the @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@ macro never has when drawing from your custom fields

Also, lots of Windows-1252 codes left in. I fixed everything, though

---

Unsurprisingly, #422 2 is unavailable to communists.

Oh, hey, is 948.1's speaker male, female, or gender-neutral? I can't tell what "Iris" is but NSindex says the name's supposed to be male.

"Iris" is normally a girl's name. And the "token male voice" thing at the end implies that he's supposed to be the only male.

[Jutsa]

Aah, ok, then NSIndex has it all goobled up. Updated and added. :3

Congratulations again, Altmer Dominion — I don't know if I've ever seen an issue get into the game so quickly after it was submitted.

— er, except for maybe my first one... thanks again Ransium.

My point is that you're definitely really good at this. Well done to you.

[Trotterdam]

#951 The Wrath of the Fish King

The Issue

To your horror, you woke up this morning with a thousand anchovy heads in your bed and a note from the insidious terrorist group called "The Cult of the Dammed". Citing lack of support for the fishing industry from the government, they are threatening to eradicate the wild @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ fish populations if their demands are not met.

The Debate

1. Communicating via telecom to your office is the spokesperson for the Cult of the Dammed, Kelly Tizad, holding a sinister-looking frozen vial. "On behalf of our leader, the Fish King, we demand a total repeal of all fishing industry regulations and for the government of @@NAME@@ to relinquish control of all waterways to the Cult of the Dammed and our approved fisheries! Anything less than this and we will release a genetically engineered virus that shall see the end of aquatic biodiversity as you know it!"

2. Up-and-coming military officer Captain Arthur Menthol immediately disconnects the monitor. "We do not negotiate with terrorists! Their boats will make excellent aquatic habitat, I say! Give me a few navy cruisers to seek out the boats of these terrorists. We will have them sleeping with the fishes and end this threat."

3. "Have you lost your mind, Arthur?" retorts your Minister of Lightly-Fried Fish Fillets Gunther Knight. "How can we even consider such wanton slaughter? Genetically engineered viruses sound like the stuff of science fiction anyway; these terrorists are probably bluffing. Just in case, we could always keep a few of every species of fish found in Milostein breeding in captivity. That way, if they do follow through on their threat we can always restock our rivers and lakes."

4. "That gives me an idea," ponders fishing mogul Gordon Silver. "Those cultists want to ruin our environment and tourism by killing our fish, so let's completely deny them the opportunity! Let's take all of the fish in the lakes and streams and put them in tiny fish apartments! In fact, we can charge people an admission fee to see our fish and frame it as a tourist experience!"

Issue by Palos Heights
Edited by Ransium

Names probably random.

[Bears Armed]

If anybody's collecting effects lines, #939/option 1 => "burnt-out forty-foot-tall wicker men dot the countryside."

^_^

[Jutsa]

Added! Congratulations on your issue, Palos Heights

I must profess, I have no idea how you're supposed to even capture every species let alone every fish...
or, actually, any of the options safely.

Edit: Also updated my list of religions and my list of things to find. Can't forget old #6.

[Divine Cervine]

Issue #950

Borderline Pandemic

The Issue

A mysterious new illness has broken out in a bordering nation. Reports claim it is highly contagious and incredibly lethal. Unfortunately, there is no known cure or vaccine for the disease at the moment, and the head of Border Control is considering restricting the entry of that nation’s citizens into @@NAME@@.

The Debate

1. “Papers, please!” shouts the beleaguered head of Border Control Ezic Arstotzka while examining a stack of entry documents. “That nation is guilty of very lax medical checks and borders that may as well be nonexistent. They might unknowingly send some people infected with this bizarre ailment to us. In order to reduce my worklo-, I mean, reduce the chance of transmission of this dangerous disease, we have no choice but to unconditionally reject all of their people. I’m sure that @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have taken all the necessary precautions, so we won’t have any problems allowing our citizens back home. Next!”



2. “How rude!” gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, the rather pale ambassador of the afflicted nation. “Firstly, we shall not tolerate any negativity whatsoever toward our proud governmental institutions. Secondly, we most assuredly have everything under control, so there’s really nothing to worry about. Thirdly, rejecting every single one of our citizens just because a few thousand of us have a slightly worse cold is honestly quite ridiculous. Last but not least-” Her verbal tirade is suddenly cut short as she doubles over from a severe coughing fit that also coats the floor in what seems to be blood.



3. “Let’s not be too hasty about this,” suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Health, as the ambassador is dragged out of the room. “Why don’t we screen every visitor with an immunoglobulin blood test, and only admit those who test as being clear of the disease? That way, we can prevent them from bringing their sickness into @@NAME@@. Better to be safe than sorry.”



4. “Our citizens are in danger!” screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, the absurdly paranoid Defence Secretary, speaking to you through a hazmat suit. “We must insist that all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ return home at once! Those that don’t are probably already infected and should be left for dead. All of those strange foreign countries with their strange diseases are an existential threat, so we must therefore shut our borders down permanently to save ourselves. Do it now! Do it before it’s too late!”

Issue by The UD Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2
Edited by Nation of Quebec

The name "Ezic Arstotzka" in the first option is a reference to the video game Papers, Please, and I assume "Vanna Brown" in the second option is meant to be a reference to Vanna White.

[Nation of Quebec]

Issue #950

Borderline Pandemic

The Issue

A mysterious new illness has broken out in a bordering nation. Reports claim it is highly contagious and incredibly lethal. Unfortunately, there is no known cure or vaccine for the disease at the moment, and the head of Border Control is considering restricting the entry of that nation’s citizens into @@NAME@@.

The Debate

1. “Papers, please!” shouts the beleaguered head of Border Control Ezic Arstotzka while examining a stack of entry documents. “That nation is guilty of very lax medical checks and borders that may as well be nonexistent. They might unknowingly send some people infected with this bizarre ailment to us. In order to reduce my worklo-, I mean, reduce the chance of transmission of this dangerous disease, we have no choice but to unconditionally reject all of their people. I’m sure that @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ have taken all the necessary precautions, so we won’t have any problems allowing our citizens back home. Next!”



2. “How rude!” gasps Vanna Brown, the rather pale ambassador of the afflicted nation. “Firstly, we shall not tolerate any negativity whatsoever toward our proud governmental institutions. Secondly, we most assuredly have everything under control, so there’s really nothing to worry about. Thirdly, rejecting every single one of our citizens just because a few thousand of us have a slightly worse cold is honestly quite ridiculous. Last but not least-” Her verbal tirade is suddenly cut short as she doubles over from a severe coughing fit that also coats the floor in what seems to be blood.



3. “Let’s not be too hasty about this,” suggests @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Health, as the ambassador is dragged out of the room. “Why don’t we screen every visitor with an immunoglobulin blood test, and only admit those who test as being clear of the disease? That way, we can prevent them from bringing their sickness into @@NAME@@. Better to be safe than sorry.”



4. “Our citizens are in danger!” screeches @@RANDOMNAME@@, the absurdly paranoid Defence Secretary, speaking to you through a hazmat suit. “We must insist that all @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ return home at once! Those that don’t are probably already infected and should be left for dead. All of those strange foreign countries with their strange diseases are an existential threat, so we must therefore shut our borders down permanently to save ourselves. Do it now! Do it before it’s too late!”

Issue by The UD Parliamentary Republic of Singapore no2
Edited by Nation of Quebec

The name "Ezic Arstotzka" in the first option is a reference to the video game Papers, Please, and I assume "Vanna Brown" in the second option is meant to be a reference to Vanna White.

The character in #2 is random.

And congratulations to Singapore no2 on becoming the non-staff player with the most successfully authored issues!

[Jutsa]

Udpdated! Congratulations

Chan might surpass them a time or two, though, with their newfound inspiration for drafting and Sing's absence.

[Singapore no2]

And congratulations to Singapore no2 on becoming the non-staff player with the most successfully authored issues!

Thanks!

Udpdated! Congratulations

Chan might surpass them a time or two, though, with their newfound inspiration for drafting and Sing's absence.

Yeah I'm busy due to schoolwork. I won't be back until the June-July Holidays.

[Dwarfpolis]

(consider this a reply to Trotterdam's post far back)
I finally repealed vegetarianism after getting that issue and it DID decrease health and HDI as I expected and contrary to what Trotterdam rightly said should happen, because the issue text itself right there says that people are malnourished because of the policy. Though that could be a secondary effect of the increase in obesity? An the abolition of the policy that gave me those boosts in the first place. Then tbh the option text should focus more on t he convenience of the consumer than the healt issues produced by the policy if repealing decreases it anyways.

[Trotterdam]

(consider this a reply to Trotterdam's post far back)

I remember no such post. Must be very far back.

[Trotterdam]

Hey, it appears that #952 is chained off #569 option 6. The effect lines I've seen so far have me... worried.

EDIT: I believe the author is Saidoria.

[Jutsa]

Worried? Now you've got me worried!

[Dwarfpolis]

(consider this a reply to Trotterdam's post far back)

I remember no such post. Must be very far back.

I remember asking what issue lets me repeal compulsory vegetarianism and you said it could even increase my health because compulsory vegetarianism is causing malnutrition. Don't feel like scouring for it.

[Trotterdam]

#945 Police on the Take

The Issue

At present, it is official policy to ban the general population from having cars, but to allow the police to do so. This has placed unexpected stresses on police departments, as they often find themselves using their vehicles to ferry sick and injured citizens during emergency situations.

The Debate

1. "Our cars are not meant for these purposes!" complains senior police officer @@RANDOMNAME@@ as @@HE/SHE@@ attempts to stop a pregnant woman in the early stages of labour from entering the back of @@HIS/HER@@ vehicle. "Ordinary citizens and medical personnel have been pestering us continuously! I've been wasting more time sending kids to school than I have spent pursuing hardened criminals and serial jaywalkers. It should be a criminal offence to bother the police with such unnecessary requests."

2. "We wouldn't have to bother the police if you made a few reasonable exclusions to the car ban," objects @@RANDOMNAME@@, a perfectly healthy individual, who has been trying to convince the officer to transport @@HIS/HER@@ groceries for @@HIM/HER@@. "Emergency services should have ambulances and fire engines. Also doctors, delivery drivers, postal workers, tradesmen, builders and the like should be able to have vehicles. Oh, and commuters, people with children, people who have widespread social engagements, leisure drivers. Just make a few exceptions to the ban, and it'll all be fine!"

3. "While I understand their concerns, allowing citizens to have cars is a bit too much," comments @@RANDOMNAME@@, a paramedic, who is stretchering a patient to a police car. "It's true that many civilians are wasting police time, but they have a good reason to do so. Public transport still doesn't have sufficient capacity to cater to the population, so citizens resort to asking the police for help. If we dedicated more of the state budget to developing railways, trams, monorails and so on, as well as allocated specific train lines to other emergency services, I'm certain that this issue would be resolved."

4. "I've had just about enough of this," coldly states @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Environmental Oversight, carefully measuring the respiratory carbon dioxide emissions of the previous speakers. "Our cities are beginning to adapt to functioning without roads, and to maintain our remaining ones just for a bunch of entitled civil servants is a waste of money. We should just extend the ban on cars to all @@DEMONYMNOUNPLURAL@@ and save ourselves a pile of @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@."

Issue by Singapore no2
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Jutsa]

Yay! Another singapore issue and another needed reversal!

Thank you Trotterdam.

[Trotterdam]

#292 Tourists Wearing Out Their Welcome?

The Issue

As tourists flock to @@NAME@@ in record numbers, some citizens have begun to complain of rowdiness and invasions of privacy from those visiting from other countries. There are calls for measures to slow the tourism industry.

The Debate

1. "This is getting a bit extreme," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, wearing historically accurate peasant garb, down to the curly-toed shoes. "Our everyday lives are becoming spectacles for the world! I can't even trim my petunias without a dozen tourists snapping pictures of me - without my consent mind you! Our nation's first priority should be to protect its citizens. We need to start scaling back our tourism industry for the sake of our privacy."

2. "That's not going far enough!" shouts conservative extremist and rabid patriot @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These damn foreigners are corrupting our culture. They demand that we feed them their type of food, that we make accommodations for them, that... that... we change what WE are just for THEIR sake! This isn't their country. They weren't born here. They don't work their fingers to the bone for this country, and they sure as hell don't belong here! I say we chase all of these foreigners out of @@NAME@@!"

4. "You've got to be joking!" says Propaganda Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These tourists come here and absorb our culture and ideology, and they PAY US to do so. Tourism is the heart of the glorious socialist struggle! Scale back tourism? If anything, the government should be encouraging more tourism. Open up some theme parks, advertise our world famous aged cheddar gift baskets - anything that will attract more tourists, or as I like to call them, future fifth-columnists! With a little government funding, we could have all of @@REGION@@ visiting us!"

Issue by Virtualila
Edited by Luna Amore

This nation had the Socialism policy (explaining the alternate version of option 3) and the No Immigration policy (probably explaining the lack of former option 4, now presumably option 5).

[Trotterdam]

Just that there's the card game going on now doesn't mean I've been idle. Watch out for this and this issue

[Orientis Noverai]

Just that there's the card game going on now doesn't mean I've been idle. Watch out for this and this issue

Confirmed by Matahari

#954 Varsity Blues

The Issue

After a group of colleges announced their intentions to establish student athletic programs and a fully-operating league, @@NAME@@ has been swept up in a wave of pep rallies and vigorous debate.

The Debate

1. “This gets an A from me,” says @@RANDOMNAME@@, self-proclaimed President of the @@NAME@@ College Athletics Association, while admiring some practicing footballers. “Allowing students to exercise their body as well as their mind prepares them for a fit and healthy life and makes them much more attractive candidates when seeking a job. After all, who wouldn’t want to draft a fit and muscular student?”

2. “We’re not here to ogle over a bunch of dumb jocks,” flatly states @@RANDOMNAME@@, an undergraduate studying for a degree in public speaking. “This is merely a waste of money that would be much better spent on expanding libraries and academic facilities for all students. Why should we fritter away money on funding athletic programs when students can just as well achieve the same goals of exercise on their own? We must make sure that this trend is stopped dead in its tracks.”

3. “I say, old sport, these fellows do have interesting proposals, but I have a much better idea!” proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, who waves around a fencing sword for dramatic effect. “We should leave money and professionalization out of all matters regarding sport. The very ideal of athletics is to play for the passion and romance of the game, not for petty paychecks or incentives.” @@HE@@ adds a flourish that forces you to duck out of the way of the sword.

Issue by Carrasastova