NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Fauxia]

I mean, I'm a little surprised it was in fact added to the game as it is, tbh, but what's done is done.

It was written by an IE... obviously it isn’t available to class nations.

[Fauxia]

I got 862.7

“If you’re looking for people that play well with others, then look no further,” suggests Pacifist Party member Leia Berenstain, taking the moral high ground by declining cake despite her audible hunger-induced tummy rumbles. “Give peace a chance. Cut back military spending a little, disarm your WMDs and become a better person. Like me.” She smiles at you smugly.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Oops.

It looked like a draft.

Well, ouch on the comments.

Personally I like the issue, think it covers new narrative ground. Also, of course, often having more than one reversal is a good thing, as it decreases the time someone needs to wait to have an opportunity to turn a policy around.

[Jutsa]

I think it's a good issue, don't get me wrong.

I admit I may not have been the nicest with my wording, as what I meant is that I kinda agree that 1 and 3 are a bit similar and I'm surprised there's not more humor involved.

Otherwise, I do very much like the issue, so don't worry, CWA. :3

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Hey, I just edited it! The writing is all Free Joy, through and through. But anyway, enough threadcrapping from me.

[Jutsa]

AHAH! Good thing I got #774, because I now know why Skandilund was recorded in my list of nations as appearing in there while Thalassia was not!
Turns out Skandilund's only in an effect line, meanwhile Thelassian was actually supposed to be @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@.

[An imagination]

862 option 6
“Don’t deal with all these extremists!” scolds Green Party representative Hermes Deming, calculating the carbon footprint of the proffered pudding. “All we Greens want is a little more green thinking and regulation. Unlike those other lunatics, our approach will actually make you MORE popular with the mainstream.”

[Jutsa]

Awesome! Now all we need is option 5.

[Merconitonitopia]

I was just considering writing a draft with the exact premise as #862 lol

anyhow
862:5

“Heaven knows who is your best ally,” comments @@FAITH@@ First party leader @@RANDOMNAME@@, drawing a holy symbol on the cake’s icing with @@HIS@@ finger, “and as it turns out, I’ve got heaven on speed-dial. Increase spending on promoting @@FAITH@@ and recognising our state religion, and you’ll have our support.”

[Jutsa]

Awesome! Thank you all!

Now all we need are 091.4, 114.2, 324.3, 325.3, 502.3, 626.2, 717.3, 848.3, possibly 850.4, 851.4, 857.3, and possibly 858.5. >:3
(Plus maybe some others not on the list minus some I may have forgotten to take off of the list.)

[Bob The Great Builder]

865
A Funeral for a Fiend?

The Issue

Kimberly Mulder, the controversial former head of the Bob The Great Builderian military, suddenly died in her home last night. While she was beloved by many for her unapologetic patriotism and military service, she was loathed by others for her xenophobia and alleged war crimes. She is proving to be just as controversial in death as she was in life as you have been asked to honor her with a state funeral.

The Debate

1.“She was a hero and a true patriot!” exclaims Ranil Tarkin, the current head of Bob The Great Builder’s military. “Of course she should be presented with a state funeral and full honors! In fact, we should declare a week of mourning and erect a statue of her in Bob The Great Builderian Square. Damn the expense! Anyone who disagrees is a terrorist-sympathizing, Bob The Great Builder-hating traitor!”

2.“A funeral for a fascist and a fiend like Kimberly Mulder? No way!” rebuffs civil rights activist Willow Case while spraying graffiti over an official bust of the deceased. “Is that the message we want to send to the rest of The Secret Order? That we honor mass murderers and bigots? How about honoring the true heroes of Bob The Great Builder, like those doctors who worked in cancer research, or scientists who discovered new elementary particles?”

4.“Why bother with state funerals at all?” queries Coraline Hume, chairperson of the Angry Taxpayers Federation. “Talk about a perfectly good waste of our hard-earned money! Let the family of the deceased cover the cost of the funeral so the government can get back to more important things like lowering taxes and cutting government spending.”


Issue by The Free Secular Federation of Nation of Quebec

Edited by Nation of Quebec

[Trotterdam]

#864 The Missionary Position

The Issue

Sixty-nine @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ missionaries representing @@FAITH@@ were kidnapped and burned at the stake in a small nation bordering Lilliputia. The infamous radical Violetist sect Ultra-Violet has claimed responsibility for this heinous act. Concerned religious leaders and diplomats have contacted your office to clarify the nation's stance on overseas proselytism.

The Debate

1. "I do not blame these misguided heathens, @@LEADER@@. I blame you!" bellows @@FAITH@@'s outraged leader @@RANDOMNAME@@, shouting down the phone until your ear hurts. "Our brave missionaries travel to the darkest, most dangerous areas of the globe to bring the loving light of @@FAITH@@ to the unbelievers. We cannot expect these poor souls to share our traditional values, but we should be able to rely on a little protection from our armed forces, no? Perhaps a helicopter gunship or two could have averted this tragedy."

2. "Perhaps we should tend to our own flock first?" questions rural lay-preacher @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is clad in sackcloth and an aura of self-loathing. "We should lead not by proselytising our faith abroad but by nurturing @@FAITH@@ within our own borders. Some of the villages I visit barely have a prayer book between them! Just think, for every missionary we pay to send overseas we could instead repair our dilapidated places of worship. Perhaps we might even buy the occasional new pair of shoes for humble preachers like myself?"

3. "A tragedy, @@NAME@@," coos Lilliputian ambassador @@RANDOMNAME@@, clucking @@HIS/HER@@ tongue. "Rest assured, Lilliputia is shocked and angered by this violent assault on your dear people. Our nation has been plagued by Ultra-Violetists for decades now, though we've lacked the international support to do anything about it! However, our shared history makes us natural allies... even if your people are a bunch of land-swindling children of rabbit droppings. But with your valued diplomatic support - say, selling us arms for generous compensation - we could end this and all menaces at our borders. Oh, and if you happened to send some missionaries here..." @@HE/SHE@@ nonchalantly gestures towards another small nation on Lilliputia's border.

Issue by Caracasus
Edited by The Free Joy State

[Jutsa]

@864: Haha! So glad to see this issue in the game.

Oh... but now I have to update my list of nations and religions.
... Which means I also have to update some religious mentions before this issue because I forgot about that list.

Oh yeah, also glad to see Lilliputia used again.

@865: So... many... macros. @_@

Is it @@DEMONYM@@ Square or @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ Square? Also, I suspect that option 3's for nations that don't have graffiti, but I'm not certain.

[Trotterdam]

#865 3. "This is a classic no-win scenario," notes your personal assistant as she begins to clean the defaced sculpture. "The best thing you can do is put the matter to a vote in Parliament, and let our elected representatives decide. At least this way you can deflect the blame if someone yells at you for whatever Parliament decides."

I don't know if "she" is random, nonrandom, or matching-the-speaker-of-the-previous-option-even-though-they're-different-people.

[Jutsa]

Perplexing. I'm legitimately surprised it wasn't a variant of option 2 for nations that don't legalize graffiti.

[Trotterdam]

#542 4 is unavailable for communist nations. No replacement.

Perplexing. I'm legitimately surprised it wasn't a variant of option 2 for nations that don't legalize graffiti.

I was briefly expecting it to be an option for religious nations where doctors and scientists aren't the people held in the highest regard.

[Jutsa]

Updated. :3

[Anarcho-primitive4]

866
O Medication, Where Art Thou?

The Issue

Healthcare professionals around the country are in an uproar due to a five-month shortage of the popular broad-spectrum antibiotic dankomycin, despite claims by the drug manufacturer that production levels are currently adequate for market demand.

The Debate

1.“Leader, this is simply unacceptable,” rages Anarcho-primitive4 City General Hospital Chief of Staff Jules C. McGill, twirling his stethoscope like a pair of nunchukas. “These companies own the patents for dankomycin and other drugs that are currently facing shortage. This means no other companies can produce these drugs, and our patients continue to suffer. Drug patents should be cancelled when supplies are short so that others can take up the production shortfall, and so we can treat our patients properly.”


2.“Now wait just a minute!” exclaims Mizer CEO Lilly Baxter as she struggles against McGill. “By releasing the patent we will never be able to recoup our R&D costs and create new medications! If anything, you need to take a good hard look at retraining those crackpot doctors who keep giving antibiotics to everyone with the sniffles! If they weren’t so liberal with their prescribing then we wouldn’t need so many new antibiotics in the first place!”


3.“You know, all this talk of copyrights and the cost of researching drugs has me thinking about the overall process,” states your Secretary of Health Kefauver Harris. “What if we just got rid of the regulations that lead to expensive medications? If drug companies aren’t spending so much money on testing and research and development then surely that will decrease the cost of drugs at the consumers’ end!”


4.“Surely you can’t be serious about gutting consumer protections!” exclaims Minister of Regulations Linnae Zolid. “Those regulations are in place for a purpose: to protect the public! Even so, changing regulations will do nothing to ease the shortage of the vaunted dankomycin anyways. The only option forward is plainly obvious. Force the drug companies who own the patents to manufacture enough medication until this and any future shortages are relieved.”

5.Suddenly, without warning, your least favorite aunt from your mother’s side bursts into your office. “Junior, don’t you know that the drugs our people are taking are filled with dirty chemicals such as magnesium stearate and sodium lauryl sulfate? Instead of drugs, you should provide people with organic herbs such as the ones my health guru sold me!” Before you can reply, she shoves a handful of repulsive ‘herbs’ into your mouth, which you realize are nothing more than common garden flowers.


Issue by The Unified Bison Herd of Palos Heights

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

[Fauxia]

Typo in your 856, Jutsa- it says the edutor is “Candlehwisper Archive.” While that is how it probably was spelled in ye olden days, these times doth not be such an age.

[Jutsa]

Woah, idk how that happened! Thanks for finding that.

Updated that. I also added that issue some time ago and forgot to mention that I did.

[Trotterdam]

Hey look!

#702 4. "How about this?" muses @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@, your uncle who changes religions weekly, as he flips though Multifaith Monthly: the Spiritual Source for the @@TYPE@@. "Why not force hotels to put every religious book in existence into their rooms? The Little Book of Transcendent Calm; The Chanting of Yellow; Faithology's Right Because Faithology Says So; even parody texts like the Scrivenings of the Soaring Squash. Then people can choose what text they want to read, or they can just leave them on the shelves for me."

Note, I got Waldo, while the current spoiler mentions Commodus. There seems to be no good reason almost-identical options would use different names, so it's probable that they're actually both @@RANDOMMALEFIRSTNAME@@.

[Jutsa]

Sweet! That's not even one I have on my little list I took from AD. :3c

Speaking of which:
091.4, 114.2, 324.3, 325.3, 502.3, 626.2, 717.3, 848.3, possibly 850.4, 851.4, 857.3, and possibly 858.5.

[Trotterdam]

This is what #083 looks like to communists:

#083 High-Speed Monorail Service Promises Connections

The Issue

Vroom-A-Zoom-Zoom (VAZZ), a consortium of weird-looking hippies and yuppie roller coaster aficionados, has developed plans for a high-speed monorail service for @@NAME@@ to help counter and relieve problems brought about by banning cars.

The Debate

1. "This is great," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, devout anti-spending advocate. "You know what'll happen? The government will invest huge sums of money in a service no one will use. I suggest nipping it in the bud... and cutting back government spending across the board while you're at it."

4. "I really disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an unwashed denizen standing in the middle of Noh Weir, population 200, on the outskirts of @@NAME@@. "We need this monorail service to connect both large and small cities, with equal access to transport for all the workers, all of the time."

Issue by Baudrillard
Edited by Reploid Productions

[Jutsa]

Updated!

[An imagination]

867
Museums: Things of the Past?

The Issue

A televised news exposé on the public’s shocking ignorance of national history was almost thwarted when journalist Murray Shafer couldn’t find any visitors to interview at the Museum of An Imagination History. The report instead aired as a folksy monologue. Within sixty minutes, your office was besieged by all kinds of people who claim to have found the perfect solution.

The Debate

1.“The younger generations are bored with the current offerings,” says recently-graduated psychologist Debra Sims, as she looks up from her phone for a split second. “When I visit the Museum of An Imagination History, I don’t just want to stare at some ancient objects. What we really need is interaction, and the best way to provide this is through technology. Children are more eager to learn when you use video clips and games to explain history. Imagine being chased by holographic velociraptors at the Museum of Natural History! That would be money well spent, in my opinion.”

2.“The real problem is that the average adult appears to have forgotten everything they learned in school,” asserts self-proclaimed aristocrat Jabulani Berenstain, while swinging around his wine glass and staining your carpet. “In fact, most people seem completely ignorant of whether An imagination even existed before you became our leader! How can you expect them to visit museums without an appreciation for history that is repeatedly inculcated throughout their lives? We need to increase government funding for ongoing adult education before expecting the common people to enjoy visiting a museum.”


3.“How can you expect anyone to visit an imagination museums?” asks Molly Gutenberg, who entered your office to use the free wi-fi connection. “Face it. An imagination doesn’t have any interesting museums. The Museum of Regional Geography? The Historical House of Hammers? The Gallery of Retail? Come on! The fact of the matter is, the museums are boring. There’s nothing but mundane themes, dull exhibitions, and tiresome pieces. Let’s build some new, up-to-date museums with things we’d all like to see.”


5.“Why bother?” moans known troublemaker and small-government enthusiast Vladimir Navratilova, who managed to slip past security. “Museums are a waste of time and a symbol of stolen taxpayer money. Let’s just get rid of them all. No one cares about some dusty old things in cabinets. They distract from real matters, like the fight against oppression by the government. WAKE UP PEOPLE! FREE YOURSELVES!” He continues shouting as security drags him away.


Issue by The United Provinces of Het Dietsche Rijk

Edited by Pogaria