NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Pogaria]

Any news on #747?

From what I understand/remember, it's an editor's self-edit, but the editor hasn't yet reached the necessary number of player issues to publish it yet. An update from the editing team would be appreciated

Hey folks, this is your captain speaking. It looks like issue 747 is going to be sitting on the tarmac for juuuuust a little longer. We're still delayed due to poor weather conditions at our final destination. It looks like we should be able to take off... sooner rather than later. Thanks for your continued patience. Also, thanks for flying Air NationStates.

[Trotterdam]

The addition of several blank posts at the beginning for future indexing needs pushes some of the issues that were previously on page 1 to page 2, potentially breaking some old links.

Hmm, I can think of a way to make links that would resist this, but it would be more tedious. I think I won't bother and will just assume this happens rarely enough to not be a problem. I'm one of the few people who even regularly links these things in the first place rather than typing the number and letting people look it up themselves.

Though, at least the links in this own thread's index should be fixed.

Any news on #747?

It doesn't exist yet.

I'll know when it does

[Jutsa]

Naeh, just a simple matter of copying the bit that links you to the next page and doing click-cntrl+v over and over again. All updated.

[Tinhampton]

Issue #716 appears to use @@MAN@@ and @@HE@@ in the description and Option 1, not just "man" and "he". Trust me on this one - the version of Cheek To Cheek I just got refers to a "morbidly obese woman".

[Jutsa]

Rew, get to add a new issue~ "A Switch In Time Kills Nine"

The Issue

A tragic train derailment recently resulted in the untimely death of nine people. Investigators have noted that the accident occurred the morning after daylight saving time went into effect, and concluded that it was likely due to conductor fatigue from the time change. You’ve shifted your schedule by an hour to discuss the matter.

The Debate

“It’s high time we made a change,” declares somnologist Dr. Van Winkle, pouring himself a second cup of coffee. “The fact is, our work days are no longer slaves to the sun and moon, and so our body clocks shouldn’t be either. The interruption of circadian rhythm and resultant accident risk are demonstrably deadly. Make this change, and you’ll be a legend in your own time.”

Accept

“Once again, our ancestors were ahead of their time,” proclaims Warwick Deming, a patchouli-scented, bushy-bearded historian. “The future of Jutsa is sundials, and they should be the only clocks our nation uses! We’ll always be in harmony with the natural beat of the sun and our inherent sleep rhythms, no matter what our specific space-time location is. Yes, slight differences in each city’s clocks might make train timetables and computers and such trivialities a little bit useless, but isn’t synchronicity with the universe more important than an artificial obsession with seconds and minutes?”

Accept

“No! Not the railways!” gasps your Minister of the Environment and amateur ferroequinologist Arnold Latham, who is currently wearing a worn-out conductor’s hat. “Look, I hate to derail this whole train of thought, but daylight saving is not only a cultural part of what makes us Jutsaish, it also holds a valuable role in energy conservation. With it in place, Jutsaishes use less lighting during summer evenings and less heat during winter mornings. You should not only keep it, you should also make sure that all who do business in Jutsa are compliant with it.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The United Mangrove Archipelago of Ransium

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

... Anyone else get the feeling that this happened a little close to the switch of caretakers?
Hmm... *sees a potential future where I accidentally derail everything and make nine people leave* Hmm...

[Jutsa]

Alright, all finished with that, but there are two things I want to note.

1) Hopefully I fixed the macros in 748... although, I must say, I'm kind of confused by how they work, as there seems to be one guy lobbing a brick at another?

2) I think what should be @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ in issue 821 option 3 is currently @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@es.
I got "Jutsaishes" instead of "Jutsae".

[Ransium]

You're paranoid Jutsa! I wrote this issue when Christian Democrats was thread care taker and editing started long before Drasnia dropped out.

[Drasnia]

You're paranoid Jutsa! I wrote this issue when Christian Democrats was thread care taker and editing started long before Drasnia dropped out.

Can confirm. I remember Ransium drafting this way back when.

[Jutsa]

*Twitches nervously* CONSPIRACY! *Goes on to derail the thread*

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Issue #822: Never Work With Children

The Issue

A children’s rights activist sparked controversy when she wrote a column for The Civitas Pacis Herald. In a penetrating exposé, she denounced the practice of using child actors in TV commercials and movies, calling it “downright child abuse” and demanding that child actors be banned from working.

The Debate

1. “Look at this!” exclaims the children’s rights activist in question, Weena Matei, as she shows you the video of a cute tot guzzling Eckie-Ecola and gurgling, ‘I yove my Eckie-Ecoya!’ with a huge grin on his chubby face. “This might look like a 30-second commercial, but children often spend a whole day at the studio to complete the shots. Movies take months of long, gruelling days! If these kids were working in a sweatshop, everyone would be infuriated. Child labour doesn’t stop being abuse when children work in a film set. You should ban kids from acting immediately.”

2. “Whoa! How are we supposed to film the third sequel to How To Train Your Unicorn without rug rat... valued child actors?” yells film director Boutros Smithers, flanked by a small girl wearing a princess gown. “If anything, we should relax our overprotective labour laws, encouraging movies - all our vital industries - to utilise more kids. That way, children can familiarise themselves with the camera and become the future stars of Frieden-und Freudenland! Besides, kids love play-acting, and we always ask for their consent. Don’t you like being a princess, sweetie?”

3. “Dear, please be reasonable here,” says Mrs. Suspectfire, the presenter of a popular children’s show, looking at you over her wire-framed glasses. “Let’s admit: commercials and movies do need child actors. But we must make sure they’re not exploited, by limiting the working hours. If we just allow child actors to work for no more than one hour per day, nobody can say that is child abuse.”

Issue by Frieden-und Freudenland

Edited by The Free Joy State

[Trotterdam]

1) Hopefully I fixed the macros in 748... although, I must say, I'm kind of confused by how they work, as there seems to be one guy lobbing a brick at another?

I think you need @@HIS/HER@@ in the first option.

[Jutsa]

All updated. Thank you both.

[Fauxia]

You sure 822.1 is @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@ not @@RANDOMNAME@@?

[Jutsa]

I'm actually not sure. I only based that off of what I read in FuF's draft thread, to which I was making sure there were no fixed names (and in case I missed any other macros), and since the option above seems to also proclaim that person to be female, I put in @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@.

If anyone could present a counterpart or clarify this, however, be my guest.

[Fauxia]

I'm actually not sure. I only based that off of what I read in FuF's draft thread, to which I was making sure there were no fixed names (and in case I missed any other macros), and since the option above seems to also proclaim that person to be female, I put in @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@.

If anyone could present a counterpart or clarify this, however, be my guest.

When I got the issue, it was a woman with a different name. You are currently fine.

[Trotterdam]

Yes.

Issue #822: Never Work With Children

The Issue

A children’s rights activist sparked controversy when she wrote a column for The Civitas Pacis Herald. In a penetrating exposé, she denounced the practice of using child actors in TV commercials and movies, calling it “downright child abuse” and demanding that child actors be banned from working.

The Debate

1. “Look at this!” exclaims the children’s rights activist in question, Weena Matei, as she shows you the video of a cute tot guzzling Eckie-Ecola and gurgling, ‘I yove my Eckie-Ecoya!’ with a huge grin on his chubby face. “This might look like a 30-second commercial, but children often spend a whole day at the studio to complete the shots. Movies take months of long, gruelling days! If these kids were working in a sweatshop, everyone would be infuriated. Child labour doesn’t stop being abuse when children work in a film set. You should ban kids from acting immediately.”

The gender gets mentioned before the random name is generated, so it has to be fixed.

[Fauxia]

Yes.

Issue #822: Never Work With Children

The Issue

A children’s rights activist sparked controversy when she wrote a column for The Civitas Pacis Herald. In a penetrating exposé, she denounced the practice of using child actors in TV commercials and movies, calling it “downright child abuse” and demanding that child actors be banned from working.

The Debate

1. “Look at this!” exclaims the children’s rights activist in question, Weena Matei, as she shows you the video of a cute tot guzzling Eckie-Ecola and gurgling, ‘I yove my Eckie-Ecoya!’ with a huge grin on his chubby face. “This might look like a 30-second commercial, but children often spend a whole day at the studio to complete the shots. Movies take months of long, gruelling days! If these kids were working in a sweatshop, everyone would be infuriated. Child labour doesn’t stop being abuse when children work in a film set. You should ban kids from acting immediately.”

The gender gets mentioned before the random name is generated, so it has to be fixed.

Good catch. Thanks for clearing that up Trott.

Uh-oh! Now you have to hear my spam! Could you comment on my draft? If you have before, it's been revised.

[Luna Amore]

Yes.

Issue #822: Never Work With Children

The Issue

A children’s rights activist sparked controversy when she wrote a column for The Civitas Pacis Herald. In a penetrating exposé, she denounced the practice of using child actors in TV commercials and movies, calling it “downright child abuse” and demanding that child actors be banned from working.

The Debate

1. “Look at this!” exclaims the children’s rights activist in question, Weena Matei, as she shows you the video of a cute tot guzzling Eckie-Ecola and gurgling, ‘I yove my Eckie-Ecoya!’ with a huge grin on his chubby face. “This might look like a 30-second commercial, but children often spend a whole day at the studio to complete the shots. Movies take months of long, gruelling days! If these kids were working in a sweatshop, everyone would be infuriated. Child labour doesn’t stop being abuse when children work in a film set. You should ban kids from acting immediately.”

The gender gets mentioned before the random name is generated, so it has to be fixed.

Thanks to some fancy macro additions by [v], we can now tie certain @@HE@@ pronouns to specific random names.

[Arceus Domains]

I can hardly wait. :3c

Well, Jutsa. Promise is promise, so here I will leave my doubts and recent findings around this megathread:

• #075: Apparently, the text of the first option has been modified. It no longer refers to the victim of the abuse, but to an advocate (as for the text I got). I'm not sure if this was reported previously, but here is what I got:
  
  “That psychopath should be castrated,” says rape victim advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@, “That’s the only punishment that can ensure the agony he put those women through will never be repeated. Additionally, it will provide some small measure of justice to the victims, and ensure that the other monsters out there think twice before attacking women! Why protect the offenders? They gave up their rights when they decided to destroy the lives of others!"
  
  (!)Note: My choices were 1, 3 and 4 (0, 2 and 3 at source code), so I do not know if the missing option is the one I am assuming as modified, or if I did not get it because I did not meet the required conditions.
  
  
• #180: Here is the non-capitalist variant for option 2:
  
  “This is utter nonsense. Mobile phones are nothing other than beneficial to society! I’ll have you know that not one of our state-funded studies has found the slightest bit of evidence to the contrary!” argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, Director of Telecommunications Monitoring, nonchalantly leaning on a stack of transcripts of notable dissidents’ telephone conversations. “Have you ever seen anyone drop dead in the street while chatting on one of our trackable audio-monito... I mean ‘publicly funded cellphones’? No! It’s just blatant scaremongering! I implore the government to dismiss these crackpots’ complaints.”
  
  
• #335: Non-capitalist variant for option 4:
  
  “No! You mustn’t!” cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, editor of an old-school photocopier-and-stapler retro-games fanzine. “If you reconnect @@NAME@@ or ban computers, we’ll lose our unique 8-bit heritage! We simply cannot compete with the global market. We need to take their minds off of the Web. Now, the only reason these people are clamoring for the Web is because they’re bored with what a single PC can do. What we need to do is make it more FUN! If you create state programming collectives, we can churn out top-notch, locally produced retro games that’ll make people forget all about the Internet.”
  
  
• #488: I don't have relevant information on this one, but I'm surprised that I got the three options that were already reported here, and these turn out to be 1, 2 and 6. I would like to see the other variants. I mean, they seem to be very difficult to get.
  
  
• #538: This one has been reported with a @@RANDOMMALENAME@@ on its fourth option. However, I can confirm a previous report: It's a first male name, I just got Rod.
  
  
• #624: The third option has been saved with a @@RANDOMNAME@@, and I have to confirm that a @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ was actually used. This has been reported before. Thus, the actual text should be:
  
  “Actually, I think that being taken hostage was our own fault,” suggests @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@ Stockholm, one of the crime’s victims. “I mean, he had asked us to game with him for months, but we thought we were too cool to play with dice and toy soldiers, and we even made fun of him. Now I’ve been obliged to try out Trials and Trolls, I realise how amazing it is! You should add the game to the national curriculum. It’ll make us better people.”
  
  
• #639: Here is the non-capitalist variant for option 3:
  
  “Why bother with retirement anyway?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a rather young basket-weaving commune director, whose subordinate workers consist mostly of @@HIS@@ ageing relatives. “I mean, the only reason it exists is just so old people can laze around doing nothing, right? So why don’t we remove it altogether and make it so that people have to work no matter how old they are? Sure, incidents like that doctor who left his false teeth inside a patient might be more common than before; but that’s the price you have to pay for the sake of productivity.”
  
  (!)Note: Please fix the current variant for option 3, as it uses a @@RANDOMNAME@@, which means that it's also using @@HIS@@, instead of a fixed 'his'.
  
  
• #676: Option 3 has been reported with a @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@, please replace it with @@NAME@@. I have confirmed this with a couple of nations.
  
  
• #682: This Issue has an unreported variant for option 2 (for state-planned economies). I just got that variant, which has been previously reported, and here it is:
  
  “Comrade, the problem here is that the Workers are not cooperating, like good Socialists should,” observes Party Member @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Require all of our Comrade-Citizens to carpool to a vehicle’s capacity, and you will more than halve the number of vehicles on the road.”
  
  Note: Party member's name could be random male, I just got Ed May.
  
  Furthermore, I noted that the 3rd option will not pop-up if nation has no private industry. Finally, the name in fourth option is not strictly female, I just got Professor Neil Sato, who says he’s from The Institute..., so the actual text is:
  
  Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, who says @@HE@@’s from The Institute - though you’re not sure whether @@HE@@’s talking about a research lab or a mental health unit - has one final idea. “All this jibber-jabber about cars has really got me thinking: why don’t we give people an alternative? With funding, my lab could build an amazing floating Sky Train! We’ll just need guide wires, lots of hydrogen, and some sort of clean propulsion system. Think about it! A SKY TRAIN!”
  
  
• #714: Here is the non-capitalist variant for option 2:
  
  “Do I even need to say how ridiculous that sounds?” asks State Food Distribution Coordinator @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Milk could spoil on people’s doorsteps, and lead to public health disaster! Anyway, we don’t live in the ‘old days’ any more. People can just come to one of our distribution depots if they need groceries. Speaking of which, we’ve got some big ideas to increase shelf life even further, which will be good for national logistics, and is the way to the milk of the future! Tell me, @@LEADER@@, what do you know about synthetic proteins?”
  
  
• #756: Please update the text for options 1 and 2, as they are using @@HE@@. Actual text should be:
  
  1. “There must be an issue crack down!” bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, your personal secretary, while removing gum off @@HIS@@ shoe. “If we don’t do something, pretty soon we’ll be getting issues that could have just as easily been dealt with by the flip of a coin!” @@HE@@ pauses to discreetly move an old picture of your niece and her pet from your direct line of sight. “Let your staff take care of the frivolity so you can focus on the big stuff. In fact, if a government official passes on an issue that’s too trivial to you, fire them on the spot!”
  
  2.You suddenly hear a shattering noise and find @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Advisor Of Trivial Matters, has broken through your office window. “Sorry about that, your office door was being fixed,” @@HE@@ apologizes. “Anyway, an issues crackdown? Ha! Your window’s a trivial issue, yet you’ll probably be enlisting all of @@NAME@@’s government to replace it! I say, anyone who wants should be able to bring an issue directly to your attention! Then the people will feel like the government is a helpful organization working for them, not something big to fear! If that doesn’t work, I’ll even help fix your window!”
  
  
• #786: I mentioned that options 3 and 4 should swap their order in the official post. On two occasions I noticed that the source code listed my options as 0, 1 and 2, and that the police officer option was not present (so this is the fourth, not the third). On the other hand, the validity of the religious speaker's option (the fourth) doesn't contemplate having an official religion: none of my two test nations fulfill this condition, and one of them is even highly secular. Thus, the option with special requirements would be the police officer's one (which I haven't seen at all).
  
  
• #816: I noticed that the non-capitalist variant for option 3 has been reported. However, I'd like to mention that I suspect that both variants for option 3 are using fixed names, with the non-capitalist including a @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. I just got: Sigourney Kardashian, Sigourney Janeway and Sigourney Black (on three different nations, which would rarely be a coincidence). That said, the actual text for this variant would be:
  
  “You know what’s better than that? A compromise!” exclaims your Minister of Making Work Sigourney @@RANDOMLASTNAME@@. “There are so many @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ who are struggling to find the best way to contribute to the glory of @@NAME@@. All you need to do is send them out to the woods and have them remove those small trees and brush by hand. It’ll be expensive and not as natural, sure, but there will be no more smoke, the mature trees in the forests will thrive, and there will be a great new patriotic project for the workers to participate in.”

That's all for now. I want to clarify that, during the time I was gathering information, a few details were reported and resolved, which is really good. I will continue to collaborate as much as possible. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Regards!

[Jutsa]

Thank you very much, AD! Lets take a looksie...

#075: That is strange.
According to the current listing for option 75, there's no comma after in these cases. According to your information, there's a comma after @@RANDOMNAME@@, where there should be a period.

I'm also very confused. Why on earth is option 2 not there? Is that what's currently presented as option 1, or is it something else entirely?
It's baffling, to say the least, and if anyone else can clear that up, I'd be delighted. As of now, I'm not touching that issue in the list.

#180: Updated, but is this option 2, or option 3? I'm going to assume it's 3, but I'll change it if they're swapped around.

#335: NS index confirmed that the ceo option came technically before the other one.

#488: Or they're really, really new: NS Index only has 3 options listed, as well.

#538 & #624: Repaired!

#639: Same as 335. Also, fixed the macro.

#676: Fixed!

#682:

This Issue has an unreported variant [...] which has been previously reported

At least one of us is a little bit confuzzled by this.
At any rate, lots of changed to add, and they were all added.

Note: I think Ed May is fixed - it seems suspiciously alike to Oolong Musk for it relative similarity to Elon Musk, and NS index has it fixed, as well. I'll change it if anyone can disprove this, though.

Final Observation: I like how even though it's @@RANDOMFEMALENAME@@, the word "she" was used, and later, "he's" was used.

Special note to the guys in control of NS Index: In the final option, he's should be @@HE@@'s

#714: Added. Turns out it was listed as TBD.

#756: Updated!

#786: What a tainted mess! The title was originally shown as #786:Tainted Tatoos instead of #756: Tainted Tattoos,
NS index doesn't even show any validities for these, and... special requirements? If it's a police officer, it probably has to do with law enforcement, but...
aaaaaaaaah this issue's just a rolling headache.

Updated to the fullest extent of my current knowledge.

#816: I can't even blame Drasnia for that one... Luna?
At any rate, updated. I also added the italic text and [conditions] to 3 and 4.
Edit: Fixed the number, sneaky little Fauxia. >:3

Thank you, AD! Now... the question that remains is this: Do I have to update this list every time I find a misplaced comma, apostrophe, or macro..?

[Fauxia]

Arceus said nothing about 817...

[Trotterdam]

Don't forget to give the internal number for your variants We need to know if non-capitalist options come before or after the capitalist options.

Your "variants" aren't even correct, since option 4 on #682 isn't a variant of any of the other options, as none of the capitalist options mention carpooling.

Meanwhile, I'm not on the ball either, since I completely forgot to check #271's numbering when I got it. I know there's something in there...

#075: (!)Note: My choices were 1, 3 and 4 (0, 2 and 3 at source code), so I do not know if the missing option is the one I am assuming as modified, or if I did not get it because I did not meet the required conditions.

I believe it's actually the second option that has two variants, to account for nations with no prisons.

[*]#488: I don't have relevant information on this one, but I'm surprised that I got the three options that were already reported here, and these turn out to be 1, 2 and 6. I would like to see the other variants. I mean, they seem to be very difficult to get.

Might have something to do with whether smoking is banned?

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Apparently, the text of the first option has been modified. It no longer refers to the victim of the abuse, but to an advocate (as for the text I got). I'm not sure if this was reported previously, but here is what I got:
[spoiler]“That psychopath should be castrated,” says rape victim advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@, “That’s the only punishment that can ensure the agony he put those women through will never be repeated. Additionally, it will provide some small measure of justice to the victims, and ensure that the other monsters out there think twice before attacking women! Why protect the offenders? They gave up their rights when they decided to destroy the lives of others!"

That's weird, the change log doesn't show that ever having been changed - always been an advocate. I don't know if the software for logging past edits was added after a change was made, of course, but it's definitely been that way since when I started here.

[The Cult of Pizza]

Puppet of Fauxia that got the Easter Egg about pizza (Issue 80)

The aliens name is @@RANDOMNAME_REVERSED@@, but the human first name (alien last name) is lower case.

“Take us to your kneader!” says Oke ziza, alien lawyer. “We have heard wonders of The Cult of Pizza’s pizza, and must have it. We are certain that a valuable trade route can be set up between our peoples. You could have our first born, for example.” Your Secretary of Trade is shocked, “First Born?! That’s slavery!” but quickly calms down upon discovery that their young are considered a great delicacy there. “You know, maybe we should open up trade with them?”

Also, I'm pretty sure the person on the second option is always Cortana Franklin. I looked at the Issue, and I'm pretty sure the alien name changed but the human didn't.

Looked at it again, the alien name changed to Xessew aynak, human is still Cortana Franklin. I think it's fixed

[Fauxia]

215.1 has a mistake: "It'll show them that our nation has nowt to do with money grabbing capitalists."

Nowt?

Idk if that is in the actual issue or just in here, which is why I put it here.