NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

[Trotterdam]

Look what I found!

#211 Unconventional Weapons Under Fire

The Issue

A collection of citizens, civil rights workers, and concerned mothers have signed a petition to stop the manufacturing of the 'BFG-69&' (AKA 'the Organ Grinder'), a new rifle planned to be used in the military which works by shredding people's internal organs.

The Debate

1. "Excuse me, but whenever has anyone ever heard of a weapon that WAS humane?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, ballistics expert. "These are devices for firing slugs of metal at people. It's not nice, but it IS necessary. People are always so squeamish. They've already accepted the standard ripping through the body of the standard bullet but the moment something a little more effective is made they kick up a fuss. Typical. These nonstandard weapons should only be put into trained military hands anyway. We're not making rocking horses here, we're protecting @@NAME@@ against her enemies! Just this once, let's try to stay ahead of them."

2. "That's right, if we don't produce these weapons we will be left behind in the arms race," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, director of the Alliance of Rifles, Grenades, and Handguns. "These weapons are the future and it won't just stop with the BFG-69. We're planning on introducing the Bone-Breaker @@POPULATION_VALUE@@-DX Sonic Rocket Launcher next year along with our anthrax grenade line. If @@NAME@@ is going to stay ahead of the game then it'll just have to accept that highly destructive weaponry is part of life. We'd also like to sell it commercially to your police force and citizens if you'd just sign here...?"

3. "No! This rifle is completely inhumane," says Dr @@RANDOMNAME@@, leaning on a cane. "These weapons are unnecessarily violent - how can anyone condone something that rips apart your innards like this? How long do you think it will be before these new inventions get into the wrong hands? Shootings are bad enough but at least most people are just wounded. The BFG-69 and those of its ilk are lethal in the extreme and are completely unacceptable! We need some moral decency here and get rid of these unconventional weapons along with all the other shameful armaments like mustard gas."

Issue by Hellenic glory
Edited by Sirocco

The options have been reordered so former option 3 is now option 1, and former option 1 / current option 2 had a "that's right" added at the beginning. Former option 2 / current option 3 had a "No!" added at the beginning, and has a new effect line.

I'm told that the changes to the stats may be more serious than these quite minor edits.

[Altito Asmoro]

Externalities Palmed Off really sounds like Indonesia as that sunny neighbouring nation who burned swathes of rainforests.

[Trotterdam]

#732 A Peeping Problem

The Issue

Several of your aides were fired yesterday after the IT Department found pornography on their work computers. The former employees have fought back saying their privacy was violated and they should be restored to their positions.

The Debate

1. "Thank you so much for meeting with us, @@LEADER@@!" greets @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the aides fired for looking at pornography, while holding out @@HIS/HER@@ hand for a handshake. "Please give us our jobs back! Just because I'm lonelier than most shouldn't be a reason to fire me. Look at my past performance reviews, I was a great worker who always got everything done ahead of schedule. Even if the computers are technically theirs, letting employers look into an employee's browsing history is a creepy invasion of privacy anyway, the practice should be outlawed regardless."

2. "Your IT technician peers over a computer monitor while performing routine maintenance on your computer: "Are there people nuts? If people want to watch pornography they should do so in the privacy of their own homes, not on employer's computers. These employees violated your trust and therefore deserve to be punished. Your right to privacy ends when you start using your employers computers."

3. "Let me touch bases with you for some outside of the box thinking," implores workplace coach @@RANDMONAME@@. "I think giving your workers less detrimental ways to deal with workplace stress could be a real game changer. We need to enable employees to work smarter, not harder. Some low hanging fruit to help resolve this problem could include letting workers set their own hours, adding bean-bag chairs to the office, heck, maybe even mandating slides be put in in the break-room. You could even force these things to be implemented across @@NAME@@, as I think they'll work together in synergy to create a real win-win."

Issue by Drasnia
Edited by Ransium

I got a male character for option 1, it might be a fixed gender if the editors are being sexist, but for the moment I'm assuming not.

The highlighted parts in option 2 are both (differently!) incorrect, it should be "employers'". (EDIT: On second thought, maybe the first should be "employers'" and the second should be "employer's". EDIT 2: Candlewhisper Archive went with "employers'" both times.) Option 3 has a simple doubled word. EDIT 2: Fixed now, leaving this up so the discussion doesn't confuse people.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Man, that was some bad editing from the team there. Fixed, thanks Trotterdam.

[Drasnia]

I got female on option one so it can be either gender.

[Ransium]

Man, that was some bad editing from the team there. Fixed, thanks Trotterdam.

[Trotterdam]

It suddenly occurred to me that it was kind of pointless to post an issue written by the guy who maintains the spoiler thread, since you'd obviously already have seen it.

[Drasnia]

It suddenly occurred to me that it was kind of pointless to post an issue written by the guy who maintains the spoiler thread, since you'd obviously already have seen it.

Especially on the day that I'm updating it no less!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Man, that was some bad editing from the team there. Fixed, thanks Trotterdam.

I blame the so-called senior editor giving the edit the +1 and adding the issue to the game. He's clearly incompetent.

Oh wait.

[Gnejs]

Man, that was some bad editing from the team there. Fixed, thanks Trotterdam.

Cheer up, happens to me all the time.

[Drasnia]

I've caught up all the new issues. I'll begin work on adding/replacing new options and changes to old issues soon.

[Australian rePublic]

While Australian Republic’s northern ports bustle with trade during the summer time, this flurry of activity freezes to a standstill at the onset of winter when thick sheets of ice form over the frigid waters. This seasonal impasse both severely limits economic productivity and makes resupply of the region difficult.

The Debate

“Steven Jot, we have a brilliant opportunity!” excitedly cheers Shigeru Stuckmann, the mayor of one of the cities. “Imagine, our city, a front to the world in both summer and winter. All we need to do is develop and deploy a whole fleet of state-of-the-art icebreakers the likes of which the world has never seen before! I can just picture it now: hundreds of ships, thousands of tourists, and millions of Dollarydoos worth of goods coming from across the globe to my port... err, Australian Republic.”

“Why spend money on expensive icebreakers when good-old fashioned railroads can do the work year round?” questions infamous rail tycoon Cecil Vanderbilt, as his assistant places a model train on your desk. “Invest in my company and ease some health and safety standards, and my men can build and maintain the tracks for a pittance. Full steam ahead! Choo choo!”

Confirm Wait, no!

“Why don’t we just stockpile before winter?” asks Angus Caesar, an advocate of human hibernation. “We bring in everything we need in autumn and don’t worry about nothin’ in winter. You can help defray the cost of our survival by funding winter fuel allowances and cold weather food supplies for the poorest in the area.”

“I have ze perfect solution,” announces crazed crackpot climatologist, Erica Hesse. “Mein data shows zat ze ice is ziner each passing year due in part to global varming. Now, vhy don’t ve just hurry it up by pumping ze atmosphere full of more chlorofluorocarbon? All zis ice will go bye-bye in under a decade! How cool vould zat be?! Vell, not cool, you know... zere’d be no ice.”

Issue by The Federation of Australian Republic

Edited by Wyethalania

Top

[North Isseggggnignigsegigisegggg Islands]

The Issue

While @@NAME@@’s northern ports bustle with trade during the summer time, this flurry of activity freezes to a standstill at the onset of winter when thick sheets of ice form over the frigid waters. This seasonal impasse both severely limits economic productivity and makes resupply of the region difficult.
The Debate

1. “@@LEADER@@, we have a brilliant opportunity!” excitedly cheers @@RANDOMNAME@@, the mayor of one of the cities. “Imagine, our city, a front to the world in both summer and winter. All we need to do is develop and deploy a whole fleet of state-of-the-art icebreakers the likes of which the world has never seen before! I can just picture it now: hundreds of ships, thousands of tourists, and millions of pounds worth of goods coming from across the globe to my port... err, @@NAME@@.”
[Effect]Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting.

2. “Why spend money on expensive icebreakers when good-old fashioned railroads can do the work year round?” questions infamous Transportation Minister Cecil Vanderbilt, as his assistant places a model train on your desk. “Increase my department’s funding and ease some health and safety standards, and we can build and maintain the tracks for a pittance. Full steam ahead! Choo choo!”

3. “Why don’t we just stockpile before winter?” asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, an advocate of human hibernation. “We bring in everything we need in autumn and don’t worry about nothin’ in winter. You can help defray the cost of our survival by funding winter fuel allowances and cold weather food supplies for the poorest in the area.”

4. “I have ze perfect solution,” announces crazed crackpot climatologist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. “Mein data shows zat ze ice is ziner each passing year due in part to global varming. Now, vhy don’t ve just hurry it up by pumping ze atmosphere full of more chlorofluorocarbon? All zis ice will go bye-bye in under a decade! How cool vould zat be?! Vell, not cool, you know... zere’d be no ice.”

Issue by The Federation of Australian Republic

Edited by Wyethalania

[Tinhampton]

Cecil Vanderbilt is the only non-random name.

[Australian rePublic]

Regarding ypur list of randomnames, I while ago, I created a thread where I let people suggest random names for issues. Ghe admin said that they went through and added the best ones. Despite the fact that this was months ago, I am pretty sure that the list of names at the start of this thread hasn't been updated. I also had a list somewhere in this thread where I split the names on the current list into male, female and gender neutral. Microsoft Word uses an easy tool to automatically put everything in alphabetical order for you. I will find thenlattwr mentioned list either later or tomorrow

[Drasnia]

Regarding ypur list of randomnames, I while ago, I created a thread where I let people suggest random names for issues. Ghe admin said that they went through and added the best ones. Despite the fact that this was months ago, I am pretty sure that the list of names at the start of this thread hasn't been updated. I also had a list somewhere in this thread where I split the names on the current list into male, female and gender neutral. Microsoft Word uses an easy tool to automatically put everything in alphabetical order for you. I will find thenlattwr mentioned list either later or tomorrow

I don't know when the last time it was updated was. It's too much of a hassle to really do much worth tbqh.

[Australian rePublic]

It suddenly occurred to me that it was kind of pointless to post an issue written by the guy who maintains the spoiler thread, since you'd obviously already have seen it.

Not necessarily. It does help with macros related to randomnames

[North Isseggggnignigsegigisegggg Islands]

Cecil Vanderbilt is the only non-random name.

Fixed it. Thank you.

[Drasnia]

#733 has been added.

[Trotterdam]

#734 A Word From Our Sponsors

The Issue

With it's colorful packaging and pleasantly sweet aroma, Health-Squirt Vitamin Juice has rapidly become one of the most popular drink products in @@NAME@@. Helping its sales are prime-time TV adverts claiming that it is "a superfood that puts immune-system boosting natural detox elements and energy-enhancing anti-oxidant vitamins into your cardiovascular system". It was recently discovered that the product has no such qualities, and the adverts are clearly lying.

The Debate

1. "False Advertising, Nuisance To Public!" proclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, lead journalist for Health Magazine, clearly planning @@HIS/HER@@ next newspaper headline."But will it ever go away? In this journo's humble opinion, yes! Maybe the government should review advertisements to make sure we get THE TRUTH!"

2. "Or you could relax on our beautiful lounge chairs on our charming private beach," suggests marketing rep @@RANDOMNAME@@, offering you an ice-cool bottle of Health-Squirt, now with Sports Slurp Technology (tm). "It's not like we're doing any harm, and promoting the idea of health has got to be of some benefit to those zombified couch potatoes who sit and play @@ANIMALPLURAL@@ vs Skeletons all day. We didn't really do anything wrong, right? Don't treat people like idiots who don't know what they're buying. Treat them like idiots who keep the consumer economy going! Deregulate advertising, and the free market will create wealth for @@NAME@@."

3. A tired-looking and shaggy-haired fellow plops down into your comfiest chair. "You know what, @@LEADER@@? I have had enough of ads. They interrupt my television watching, and we're basically immune to them anyway." He sips his Eckie-Cola and adjusts his designer sweatband. "I say we ban all TV advertisements between midday and midnight so we can watch the good stuff on the telly uninterrupted. Now, can I go back to watching my soap opera?"

Issue by New Dukaine
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

The italics is strong with this one. (And though it's completely invisible in the front-end, it offends my sense of neatness for an italics field to start with a space... The third option also starts with a space between the <p> and the start of the paragraph, which options don't usually have.)

Considering all this formatting, would it be out of the question to replace "(tm)" with "^TM"?

I highlighted the places that need visible punctuation corrections (three in all). I do sincerely hope it's obvious what they should be now I've pointed them out.

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Cheers fixes all made.

Not sure I can make TM superscript within an issue, unfortunately.

As for italics field starting with a space, it has to be that way, as if you start with " then the software changes that to a ” instead of a “.

[Drasnia]

Added. Hopefully I made the right corrections and got all the italics. If not, just yell at me

[Trotterdam]

Added. Hopefully I made the right corrections and got all the italics. If not, just yell at me

The italics are correct in my post. If you quote it and copy+paste the source, rather than copy+pasting from the thread display, it'll save you the effort of having to try to redo them yourself.

[Drasnia]

Added. Hopefully I made the right corrections and got all the italics. If not, just yell at me

The italics are correct in my post. If you quote it and copy+paste the source, rather than copy+pasting from the thread display, it'll save you the effort of having to try to redo them yourself.

That's actually what I did in the first place

[Belinos]

Here's 733 with the actual issue numbers:

While Belinos’s northern ports bustle with trade during the summer time, this flurry of activity freezes to a standstill at the onset of winter when thick sheets of ice form over the frigid waters. This seasonal impasse both severely limits economic productivity and makes resupply of the region difficult.

The Debate

1. “Numen, we have a brilliant opportunity!” excitedly cheers Evan Gutierrez, the mayor of one of the cities. “Imagine, our city, a front to the world in both summer and winter. All we need to do is develop and deploy a whole fleet of state-of-the-art icebreakers the likes of which the world has never seen before! I can just picture it now: hundreds of ships, thousands of tourists, and millions of quills worth of goods coming from across the globe to my port... err, Belinos.”

2. “Why spend money on expensive icebreakers when good-old fashioned railroads can do the work year round?” questions infamous rail tycoon Cecil Vanderbilt, as his assistant places a model train on your desk. “Invest in my company and ease some health and safety standards, and my men can build and maintain the tracks for a pittance. Full steam ahead! Choo choo!”

3. ?

4. “Why don’t we just stockpile before winter?” asks Lana Neumann, an advocate of human hibernation. “We bring in everything we need in autumn and don’t worry about nothin’ in winter. You can help defray the cost of our survival by funding winter fuel allowances and cold weather food supplies for the poorest in the area.”

5. “I have ze perfect solution,” announces crazed crackpot climatologist, Rick Trudeau. “Mein data shows zat ze ice is ziner each passing year due in part to global varming. Now, vhy don’t ve just hurry it up by pumping ze atmosphere full of more chlorofluorocarbon? All zis ice will go bye-bye in under a decade! How cool vould zat be?! Vell, not cool, you know... zere’d be no ice.”